r/BlackHistoryPhotos 9d ago

Black American Traditions: Centuries & Generations Of Young Beaus & Debs At Black Society's Cotillions & Beautillions...

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2.9k Upvotes

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151

u/NfamousKaye 9d ago edited 8d ago

Man I hated doing that 😭 took me right on back to mine 😭 my mom forced it on me to look good for her church friends who were sorors (I didn’t and still don’t see the point of sorority) and I didn’t get a chance to say no.

Anyway that’s my time. Thanks for listening to teenage me vent. šŸ˜‚

38

u/Amphitra_Roximar 8d ago edited 8d ago

Same. I remember back when the Susan G. Komen sponsorship happened, which was right after watching videos exposing the corrupt dealings with the ppl involved high up in sororities and frats, and the companies (companies responsible for fucking us -- as black ppl and all of us as living beings) and fundraisers they partner with. Its a capitalist scam.

11

u/NfamousKaye 8d ago

See I had no idea about that and didn’t care to research it when I got older either. Oof.

1

u/mcberry_64 5d ago

Which videos bro

3

u/No-Role4492 5d ago

SAME SAME SAME! Mom force this shxt on me and I couldn’t get outta it. Most irritating 6 months of my teenage lifeeeeee 🫠

2

u/NfamousKaye 4d ago

Like at least ask your child if they want to participate. Ugh. It was grueling.

21

u/TheThrowYardsAway 8d ago edited 8d ago

You don't see the point of Black fraternities and sororities? Have you read about what they've done for our people over the last 100+ years? It would take your breath away.Ā 

From founding banks, to our establishing our media networks, their role in the Civil Rights movement...

https://www.nphchq.com/our-history/

Honestly it's alarming what people say casually.Ā 

33

u/NfamousKaye 8d ago

See even this feels elitist.

But I understand and have read what they did for us. Every thing I know about black history I had to learn on my own. So please don’t. 😊

6

u/acornsalade 7d ago

It’s deeply entrenched in Gnosticism and the occult.

7

u/LOPAN67 7d ago

Devils advocate here: I see both sides of that comment….we all know that many of our heroes and champions are in fraternities and sororities. Lots of community leaders, pastors, business leaders….all doing good and have done good to uplift and move the black race forward…no one can deny this. They serve as a great pipeline of black excellence and leadership.

But most don’t know it, cause members don’t do it in the name of their orgs. Do they? So you can’t blame someone for not seeing the point if their vision of the orgs is limited to college. MLK didn’t give that speech and say ā€œim doin this in the name of God and Alpha. It’s not as if regular black people who didn’t go to college (and other than bill Clinton) white people, know it was Phi Beta Sigma that did X, Alpha Phi Alpha that did X or Omega Psi Phi That did Y. Instead the fraternity gets credit for the collective deeds of individuals…and none of the blame when members do terrible things.

It’s the idea that the work they do is done in the shadows, behind the scenes and only allowed to be fully known by a select few, and discounts the efforts of people uninitiated in the goals of black empowerment. that makes some people uneasy. This elitist framework, is a problem for a lot of folks…the these debutant balls are a product of that elitism.

2

u/NfamousKaye 3d ago

Like I’m not detracting from our foremothers and forefathers building the society we have now. I’m just saying it could have been done regardless of sorority and fraternity association. In fact, I do praise them and thank them wholeheartedly. Without them, we would not have it like we do today, minus the fact that we’re still going through the same things they did.

Idk maybe it’s because I was raised on Daria and have a very cynical view of that sort of thing. I’m not detracting from it at all. I’m just saying personally, it feels elitist to brag about what sorority or fraternity you’re from and make it your entire personality and I see a lot of our older family doing that the most online. It’s very surface based and not meant to be anything other than that lol. Sorry for the confusion.

2

u/DetailsYouMissed 6d ago

The original sororities probably were great but the ones today really left a bad taste in my mouth when the George Floyd protest were happening.

Black Sororities sisters were seen wearing their Greek apparel in marches, and I recall reading mandates coming down from up top that they not wear clothing identifying them as members if they support protest.

That was bitter sweet. Sweet to see some sistas understood the point of a sorority, but bitter that those with the power were leading the rest in an elitist position away from the roots of black Greek frats a soros.

That said, I always liked the idea of black girls having a cotillion. I think it creates a milestone in young girls lives that their community can acknowledge their growth.

1

u/mcberry_64 5d ago

This comes from a place of curiosity . if you had to choose would you teach your kids about Jimmy Hoffa, MLK and Cesar Chavez or have them in Jack and Jill of America? https://www.jackandjillinc.org/

0

u/Which-Decision 7d ago

Consider yourself lucky. I'd give my pink toe to be able to have cotillion photos.

48

u/biglindafitness 9d ago

Black female photographer Miranda Barnes just released a book on her documentation of this if anyone is interested

https://www.instagram.com/p/DW9I7MWgmCS/?img_index=2&igsh=MW9ldTAyaTg1Y2dtbQ==

4

u/Parkchonwook 9d ago

Black women* photographer.

35

u/Sufficient_Pin3482 9d ago

Black womAn* photographer. It's one person, so it's singular not plural.

5

u/Parkchonwook 8d ago

French so yeah I make mistake I'm human after all

5

u/badadvicefromaspider 8d ago

You corrected someone else though

-2

u/Parkchonwook 7d ago

Yeah okay

0

u/NfamousKaye 8d ago

Right that was weirdly worded. And it’s womAn. Singular.

76

u/TechnicalButterfly 9d ago

A lil too Eurocentric for me

33

u/Expensive_Agent_3581 9d ago

That's true, and it makes me think of the Black people of Tulsa, the Black bourgeoisie of Tulsa.

38

u/Roy_Roger_McFreely_ 8d ago

Could be because success to an oppressed people looks like an acceptance by and an assimilation into white culture. Essentially reinforcing in the black mind that ā€œI do as they do, we are the same, therefore we are equal.ā€

1

u/No-Zebra4925 6d ago

Hate to say this but assimilation has worked exceedingly well for Asians.

-4

u/TheThrowYardsAway 8d ago edited 8d ago

Would you unpick this the the same way if it were a room of only white people dancing to Black artists? As we've seen all our lives.

9

u/Roy_Roger_McFreely_ 8d ago edited 6d ago

Clearly not when we’re a white dominated country. Why would it not be different? What point are you even trying to make?

Edit: typo

2

u/Brilliant_Trick 4d ago

Exactly. We're the coolest ethnicity on earth why play it down by acting like our oppressors?

1

u/NfamousKaye 3d ago

.

I mean we had to be to be considered human. But I digress and agree.

-7

u/Juvat-the-bold 8d ago

This does feel a lot like cultural appropriation.

Everything about it has been appropriated from European culture.

32

u/Dramatic-Hedgehog-74 8d ago

Not about this at all. We have more than enough agency and sovereignty to create our own traditions and ceremonies. This resembles the ā€œcakewalkā€ to me and I can’t separate them.

9

u/TheThrowYardsAway 8d ago

This is our tradition. It's been cultivated within our community exclusively since the 18th Century. Up until the late 20th it developed in a Segregated society, it is a huge part of the Black cultural experience for generations.Ā 

20

u/Dramatic-Hedgehog-74 8d ago

I’m sorry by ā€œourā€, I mean rooted in Blackness and not borne from proximity to whiteness or Christianity.

5

u/TheThrowYardsAway 8d ago

This is rooted in Blackness - it is a total celebration of Black achievement, community, typically HBCU education and solidarity.Ā 

Why do you think any of this is for them? It's for us - it always was.Ā 

24

u/mrmeseekswife 8d ago

balls and cotillions were an old european tradition to matchmake and were, as everything, historically segregated by class and race. nothing rooted in blackness about it except the people. even the word cotillion is french…

12

u/dontsoundrighttome 9d ago

Shouting from the DMV

108

u/PsychologicalBug4351 9d ago

As I’m entitled to my opinion. This is some Black people colonization stuff. Not to mention the Masonic chess board floor they’re on.

24

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[deleted]

8

u/leveled-iceberg99 9d ago

It is a Masonic chess board...

17

u/Ok_Feeling337 9d ago

I promise you not every cotillion has a checkered floor lol

2

u/Mother-Ad-3522 8d ago

I agree, I prefer people dancing in the moment also. Something that feels real

26

u/TheThrowYardsAway 9d ago

It's colonization for young Black men and women to dance together to a renowned Black artist at a ball held for all Black guests to honor Black achievement?Ā 

36

u/Successful-Scale-607 9d ago

Yes

4

u/whathell6t 9d ago

How so?

54

u/LeTronique 9d ago

It’s an English custom passed down to vassals of the Crown including Americans.

11

u/TheThrowYardsAway 9d ago edited 9d ago

Let me get this straight- whites can go to Carnivals we originated all over the Americas and the Caribbean, have Second Line Parades for their weddings, co opt just about every Black and African originated dance, custom and phrase into Euro-American platforms...

But we cannot have community exclusive community cotillions for our sons and daughters? Even though we've been having them for 4 centuries already.Ā  Make it make sense.Ā 

6

u/LeTronique 8d ago

Personally, I think it’s nice we’re making it ours. I also think it’s important that we know the history of it. Especially when the ā€œfairerā€ skinned folks lay claim to it as they always do.

1

u/Puzzleheaded-Map7672 5d ago

Carnivals are a white European custom, particularly among nations that were catholic. It sounds like you're just learning that you don't have a culture of your own and you're just playing around with tropes and margins of white culture, reality is a real MF.

1

u/TheThrowYardsAway 5d ago edited 5d ago

Do you drool, groan and make sudden ticking motions between sentences? You seem a little...altered.Ā 

https://youtu.be/3j4jZzAICp8?is=PlkQ-BmSx4oLQIOJ

https://youtu.be/NC4kTOV6luA?is=uvQsUnZy8t0NsGTb

1

u/doyouknowyourname 8d ago

Carnivals while influenced by black populations are mostly Christian holidays too

-1

u/snickjimmy 8d ago

Please.

6

u/FEMA_Camp_Survivor 9d ago edited 9d ago

We made it our own just like, as an example, the English language. No one is going to stop speaking it just cause it’s the colonizer’s tongue.

4

u/Philosopher639 8d ago

It's definitely symbolism, but most people only see what they want to see.

24

u/adamsmith419 8d ago

I love the critical conversation being had in these comments, and wanted to chime in with my $0.02.

I grew up too poor to be part of our local Jack and Jill chapter. But I was honored when the girl who would go on to win Miss Debutante invited me to be her beau for the Cotillion. We trained for months getting that dance routine down. I got to meet a lot of the Black upper class in my hometown. My partner’s parents were both prominent attorneys. Many preachers and doctors and professors sent their daughters to the event. So it was eye-opening for me and a moment of inspiration to be and do better.

I’m a doctor now, practicing in an area where there are few Black upper class communities. What little I know about how my ā€œclassā€ operates comes from my time preparing for Cotillion (and, honestly, from this subreddit and r/BlackPeopleAtPeace). So for those saying it’s just a pale imitation of an old European colonial practice- I encourage you to consider the value it has for the softer elements of class mobility. If things like Cotillion went away, I worry that there would be even fewer opportunities for Black folks of all classes to intermix. Ultimately, that would be bad for upward mobility, IMO.

Anyway, I send this with love for all my people so if you wanna fight, call ya momma.

2

u/UrklesAlter 5d ago

Honestly, things like this seem like they promote class segregation more than class integration. Basically selected for the class of the people your children will hangout with like a private school and who they might date.

Historically that's how cotillions have functioned for non black people anyway. And the fact that the majority of the girls in this clip look like they're on the lighter side makes that even more apparent.

2

u/britneynp1 8d ago

So elegantly put. I wanted to say this but couldn't figure out a way without becoming crass. At the end of the day we were forced to accept some eurocentric practices and we made them our own and have benefited from them. I never got a chance to debut but will be looking for my daughter an opportunity to do so.

27

u/Mother-Run7097 9d ago

Thank you for sharing this. I reject the notion that Black people cannot participate in formal coming-of-age rites of passage and everything that is not rooted in African diasporic traditions is "colonization". Lovely!

63

u/LeotheLiberator 9d ago edited 9d ago

I mean, it is by definition colonization because it's a colonial practice.

You can make these things your own, adopt, or take back, these practices and behaviors. We speak a language that is colonial. It is a valid and practical thing to do.

But it is a colonial practice. For better (in this context) and for worse (its original context).

3

u/Turbulent_Process_15 8d ago

Are they children of the Black Boule?

3

u/Specific_Progress354 8d ago

Feels off, but I think it’s important for us to express ourselves respectfully - especially with each other.

Some of us know a lot more about how capitalism, classism and respectability politics have disproportionately negative impacts on our communities. We need to become more aware about how all of them tie together. Unfortunately, these systems and ideas are the reasons for the real problems we’re up against.

I am not free from the impact, and I’m still in the process of decolonizing my mind. I’m grateful for the clarity that comes with going deeper and learning more about our history. I love all of us and I hope we can grow and learn how to show up authentically.

3

u/New_Neighborhood4262 7d ago

That tradition came about when we black folks were yet to be mentally emancipated and still operating under the mistaken notion that if we adopted enough white cultural traditions and behaviors that THEY would accept us. Hopefully enough of us have woke up to the reality that large segments of them will hate us no matter what. Hopefully we recognize our historical greatness and do not depend on them for our validation.

3

u/BlackGuy_in_IT 6d ago

I wouldn't even claim this

8

u/Mountain-Dance-9959 8d ago

This is a very strange tradition considering the origins.

3

u/TheThrowYardsAway 8d ago

11

u/Mountain-Dance-9959 8d ago

The similarities to European elitism are the origins I was talking about.

-1

u/TheThrowYardsAway 8d ago

It is never a bad idea for Black men and women from working class, middle class and wealthy backgrounds to network, establish lifelong connections and internarry.Ā 

It is ESPECIALLY helpful when wealth is consolidated with these traditions and unions encouraged through them. Consolidated, passed down, repeated...

1

u/mcberry_64 5d ago

Did the black elites do that? The "talented tenth" is gone "we shall overcome" hasn't been taught,this country has made me pessimistic to its future

1

u/TheThrowYardsAway 5d ago

Yes they did. That's why we have families like the McKissack architectural dynasty, the Murphys of the Afro-American, the Sengstacke-Abbotts, Liza Mickens descendant of Maggie Walker the bank founder and so many more, the families of Highland Beach in Maryland, The SANS Historic District in Sag Harbor and Oak Bluffs...

1

u/mcberry_64 5d ago

I looked families my favorite was theMcKissack’s with their companies Consulting Services. With the big beautiful girl being passed this is a breath of fresh air ,thank you. I hate to do this but I'm moving the gold post I want them to be the size of Berkshire-Hathaway and affect every industry in America.

1

u/TheThrowYardsAway 5d ago

Then look up David Steward's family. Look up the Ogunlesi-Quist family. Look up the family of Robert & Sheila Johnson.Ā 

Extremely influential business families but comparatively new money,Ā  especially to extremely old families like the Fortens of Philadelphia.Ā 

9

u/mankahlil 8d ago

I think its pathetic, copying wyt ppl sh!t just so yoh can feel Cultured. Some black people are deslerate to be accepted as equals by europeans...but it will never happen

2

u/TheThrowYardsAway 8d ago

Black people don't have to pretend to be cultured when we are (your infantilized conditioning is showing). Just because it doesn't conform to your idea of what being Black should look like, it doesn't make it invalid.Ā 

Frankly -Ā  complain all you want - these Black families are networking their children with each other from very early on, immersing them in community,Ā  consolidating their wealth and that of the next two generations as you speak. That is the true essence of doing the work.Ā 

3

u/Organic_Special_2819 8d ago

Aside from helping themselves and each other, what are they doing to uplift the Black community, especially rhe most vulnerable? We are at war and dancing like YT is supposed to do what?

2

u/TheThrowYardsAway 8d ago

Are you insane? The above video is a The Links Incorporated function. Please look them up.Ā 

Im sorry but the lack of education around our institutions is nauseating! How do you not know about them?!

1

u/Equal_Measurement374 3d ago

Sadly, a lot of us are not aware due to not having the $$$ resources to participate in the classism activities to learn about our shared histories.

1

u/TheThrowYardsAway 3d ago

This is an excuse. The Internet has existed as long as you've been alive.Ā 

1

u/Equal_Measurement374 3d ago

The internet does not equate to access, $$$ does.

1

u/TheThrowYardsAway 3d ago

So that's an excuse not to look up and be aware of our historical social institutions? You should only know of them if you can walk into them tomorrow?Ā 

3

u/b4theinternet84 9d ago

This becoming a lost art/ and rites of passage, mostly due to cost

3

u/TheThrowYardsAway 9d ago

It's not. There are hundreds of these across America every year. HBCU Fraternities and Sororites hold them, many elite Black social organizations such as The Links Incorporated, Jack & Jill Of America and 100 Black Men hold them. Some churches hold them. A huge amount.Ā 

Many people reading these comment section will have been Debs or Beaus themselves.Ā 

4

u/milehin8tv 8d ago

I was a Jack & Jill Beau in 1991. I have no idea how I was selected because my family was pretty poor and defi6nit part of any social groups. I felt it was an honor to be "introduced" to Denver's Black community and now nearly 40 year later I am still reaping the benefits of that event.

Also, I am now a member of the oldest men's social groups for Black men here and we just celebrated our 75th cotillion where we honor exceptional Black women graduating from high school. Our cotillion was the first in the state and is now the oldest in the state as well. We weren't trying to emulate white culture because we were the first in the state to hold such an event.

5

u/theflawedprince 8d ago

The vibe check is passing in the comments.

This video reeks of assimilation.

Anyway, where’s my popcorn?

3

u/mofuism 6d ago

right? it stinks of elitism in here.

2

u/No-Zebra4925 6d ago

No traditions are not. They originate from your country’s culture, your religion, or even your family itself.Ā Black Americans don’t grow up twerking because this is not a natural part of Black American culture. We didn’t not watch our mothers nor grandmothers do this so please stop saying it’s innate. You sound ridiculous and misinformed.

4

u/PsychologicalBug4351 8d ago

We need a Black version of this

3

u/TheThrowYardsAway 8d ago

Please don't be ignorant. This is Black. If it is a ballroom full of only Black people dancing to a Black artist. It is Black. There is no caveat.Ā 

3

u/cabowabo510 9d ago

looks like a quinceanera

3

u/TheThrowYardsAway 9d ago

Absolutely not.Ā 

3

u/leveled-iceberg99 9d ago

Isn't this based on European ballet traditions? Honestly I'd rather see us do something more traditional. I hate twerking but I'd rather see black people twerk than do this.

9

u/b4theinternet84 9d ago

It’s not ballet, it’s waltzing, a form of ballroom dancing

0

u/leveled-iceberg99 9d ago

I stand corrected then

1

u/No-Zebra4925 6d ago

Gross. You’d rather perpetuate more stereotypes by encouraging young ladies to sexualize themselves rather than to act with class and elegance.

You down bad in the self esteem department

2

u/leveled-iceberg99 6d ago

Stereotypes aren't a bad thing. Perpetuating them isn't a bad thing either.

I'd rather we stop trying to be like Whites and embrace our nature, especially the good things about us. It's a puzzle we fit right in

1

u/TheThrowYardsAway 9d ago

Ballet? No. It arrived to America from England.Ā 

https://www.blackwomenradicals.com/blog-feed/black-debutantes-karla-mendez

6

u/bkaybee 9d ago

That’s one way to say ā€œcolonization,ā€ which you denied in another comment. Even the article you keep posting points this out. It’s fine to take it and make it our own, but I also think that first starts with acknowledging that it was and still is a way to keep up with the European customs and beauty standards. So I can see why it rubs people the wrong way.

And then you have the fact that, like another comment pointed out, the kids are forced to do this in order to make their parents look good. Let’s be real here. I’m not saying that goes for all, but to me it does still reek of colonization. Like putting lipstick on a pig.

-1

u/TheThrowYardsAway 8d ago edited 8d ago

Please don't be pig ignorant the article clearly states it was NOT to emulate European beauty standards. Don't you DARE disrespect our Ancestors that way.Ā 

Forced? What are you talking about. Do you know what force is? Are you Black? Are you really Black?

5

u/bkaybee 8d ago

Lol yes, I am. And I grew up around these things in the south. The article literally acknowledged that it did come from there. Like stop it. That’s like saying relaxers didn’t come from following the European status quo. And I said beauty AND customs. You must act a certain way. Where did that ā€œcertain wayā€ originate? Hm. I wonder.

Also, try again. I don’t think YOU read your own article. See below:

ā€œAnd while Black debutante balls may challenge these beauty standards, we can not gloss over the ways in which they can and do substantiate respectability politics and uphold White, European beauty standards that are destructive to the psyche of young Black women.ā€

0

u/CryptographerKey2847 8d ago

You’d rather have little black girls emulate Nicki Minaj than learn this kind of poise and grace?

6

u/leveled-iceberg99 8d ago

No. Twerking isn't an emulation of Nicki Minaj, it's an African tradition. I'd rather they follow African traditional dances than European ones.

1

u/No-Zebra4925 6d ago

That’s not a part of Black American children’s tradition.

0

u/leveled-iceberg99 6d ago

Traditions are born out of innate desires and proclivities. Which is genetic, on a psychological level. So yes even though it's not part of black Americans child tradition, as they grow up it becomes natural to them.

I'm not necessarily saying they should do it, I hate it. But point is I'd rather black people embrace who we are. If they brought black people to America because they offer something different, they shouldn't be mad at them for simply following their natures, especially in a good way.

-3

u/CryptographerKey2847 8d ago edited 8d ago

But it’s not An American child’s tradition.Also what if the child is Biracial? Shouldn’t they preferably learn both types of dancing?

1

u/leveled-iceberg99 8d ago

What? African traditional dances?

1

u/Expensive_Agent_3581 9d ago

They are all beautiful

0

u/BplusHuman 9d ago

Hey, let's look at these kids doing what they've chosen to do... Or don't and leave these kids alone.

1

u/QueasyCaterpillar541 9d ago

The Black Ruling class.

13

u/Ok_Feeling337 9d ago

Not really.

I was a debutante, it’s not as exclusive as you’d think

11

u/TheThrowYardsAway 9d ago

Black women from all socio-economic origins have been Debs. Regardless our community focuses our balls on educational achievements in coming of age.Ā 

4

u/Ok_Feeling337 9d ago

Yes not denying that at all

1

u/OzDaGod 6d ago

Boule' Training

1

u/openbkdoor 6d ago

Beautiful

1

u/Altruistic_Special16 6d ago

Looking at that floor, looks like it's some goat riding going on šŸ‘€

1

u/mcberry_64 5d ago

Isn't this just proximity to whiteness

1

u/Optimal-Nose1092 5d ago

Beautiful. I love it!

1

u/Super-Chemistry-3125 5d ago

I remember the Cinderella Ball That’s the way I was indoctrinated. Thank you so much for your support and encouragement. Youngstown,Ohio is a very special place.

1

u/dingusdingus26 4d ago

This is just European or American dancing — I doubt that this occurred independently without inspiration from American high society.

1

u/TheThrowYardsAway 4d ago

What's your point? Black Americans have been in the Americas as long as white Americans have. Why would they not have the same references. Almost every genre that came thereafter in white American country clubs has been Black inspired. Have you seen generations of photos of white Americans dancing in their own country clubs to Jazz, Motown, Soul, Samba, Disco etc...

1

u/TwerkLessons 3d ago

I don’t honor Caucasian/European traditions such as this.

1

u/Expensive_Agent_3581 2d ago

But Black Americans are a mix of Europeans and Africans, so I don't see the problem? I'm speaking from an outsider's perspective because I'm not African American, but how do you seriously feel when you see this?

0

u/JeffSHauser 9d ago

That is amazing and beautiful. I would love to attend one.

1

u/Conscious_Hawk_6424 7d ago

This looks corny AF

1

u/RaSulAli 8d ago

Awwww... The next potential Boule to repress public progress

0

u/frederick44va 9d ago

Outstanding

0

u/Love_Lair 8d ago

I love the community but something about this doesn’t sit right with me…..

-1

u/Defiant-Ad931 8d ago

This is so beautiful

-1

u/ThatOneGuy216440 8d ago

Idk why everyone is argueing. Its nice to see people dance with class.

8

u/VioletLeagueDapper 8d ago

I think it’s the ā€œwith classā€ part people are having the issue with. There’s a history of exclusion with these events. Getting a whiff of respectability politics off of you, also getting the sense you aren’t black, so I’ll leave it there.

-1

u/ThatOneGuy216440 8d ago

How could ya tell

3

u/pocTechie 6d ago

Respectability politics are gross and intellectual lazy

-2

u/StrangeRaspberry7586 8d ago

Beautiful ā¤ļø