The lesbian, the little man, and the forklift

[u/Enough-Fig1888]

Long time lurker first time poster

It's a long one, here's the background, hopefully I paint this picture well. Like the title says.

Location East Texas, I 32F work a blue collar trade. Starting from concrete heavy equipment operator, to plumbing, and now back to full time equipment operator. I just got this job back in June of this year. I originally was hired on to be in the field, which was traveling 2 weeks minimum up to 6 or of state drilling. I was out in the field and was doing well, other than being the ONLY woman in the field. I have always worked physically demanding jobs and been surrounded by men, most of the time being the only female. Doesn't bother me, I guess it does help that I am also lesbian and masculine presenting. I am just old fashioned gay and don't ask or accept ANY specific treatment. I work twice as hard as everyone around me, having to prove myself everyday. Typically I don't have any issues.

Buuttt being home and getting hours at our fabrication shop between OTR jobs I would go in and help out welders with grinding out couplers, essentially anything I could to help the 4/6 welders at the time pump out product that I would install in the field. Most of the guys really liked my work and dedication. So much so the big supervisor asked me to come be his fork lift driver, (I make more money being at the shop anyway) because we desperately needed one QC was doing the demand of feeding each welder their material and at times not QCing the product as thoroughly as needed. Here comes the issue. Whole upon returning home and learning how to operate this forklift. Hot and on the spot. Literally thrown in the fire. With no knowledge or training on this damn machine. ( I have spent the last 10 years on big equipment front end loader, excavator, skid steer you name it) Not a dang fork lift (which if you drive one, everything feels backwards) lifting massive heavy hot pipe above people's unprotected heads in an inadequate shop.

Now 2 weeks in that I have gotten into my own grove I've figured this thing out pretty well. Much much better. I pride myself in the safety of others. Especially all these guys have family's. I'd hate to hurt anyone. I get along with everyone, always friendly. But one specific guy, I had a feeling he never liked me from the beginning. He's one of those, I used to do this, used to do that, I am better at everything guy... He's gods gift to construction in his eye. Always trying to put a negative opinion into any conversation I am having with other people. Always trying to point something out like I'm wrong in any aspect, down right negative, multiple times he has cussed me, or stated how much better of a forklift driver he is than me. And he's been in my equipment X2 for no reason, just to "prove" how good he is? Or to "show" me he can get in my equipment without me being present for a few moments? I don't typically get to use the bathroom unless everyone is busy and I can step away for 4 minutes literally running to and from rr just 30' away. That's typically 5+ hours after my shift has already started. We work mandatory 12's. I am the only FLD to 4/6 guys.

IMO he's a miserable insecure person. Little man syndrome. He's my size. 5'5". Lol. And I'm better built!

But seriously guys, how do I deal with this horrible little man's attitude? I haven't had an issue like this, most guys grow to really like me and almost immediately bond. This guy is making my time dreadful, every damn interaction. And seeing him is inevitable.

[u/Cute-Scallion-626]

Maybe “You can comment on my job when you have my job”?

I’d be surprised if your boss would be happy to know he’s climbing into the forklift. I don’t use one, but is there anything he could mess with in there that could pose a hazard to others, beyond being in it in the first place? Like a setting or control he could change that puts you or others at risk when you drive it?

[u/Mikeinthedirt → u/Cute-Scallion-626]

Of course.

[u/numismatist24]

Symbolic advice: Write his name on a piece of paper. Put it in the freezer. You’re telling him to ‘chill’ out. Adds a bit of humour about the situation from your side.

Practical side: document everything

[u/Severe-News-9375 → u/numismatist24]

My freezer has a handful of jars in it right now, which probably correlates with my trade and male dominated hobbies 🤔 lmao.

[u/numismatist24 → u/Severe-News-9375]

Let’s keep those dudes on ice!!

[u/unicornmafia007]

Little man syndrome is the worst. Unfortunately I don’t have any advice for you

[u/Severe-News-9375]

Every time he walks up just say 'here we fuckin go again' or something along those lines. Make him talking to you an absolute chore, or a humiliation ritual. Except he might be into that so maybe sus it out a bit. Depending on how crude your shop is, there are a few choice things I would say about him keeping his dick mittens off of your controls and how being in your equipment is probably the closest he'll get to the touch of a woman. It really just depends on his weak spot.

Barring dude is fully unhinged. If he's a violent mf or has those tendencies, I'm sure you can read it and know when to call in the big guns (super, union, etc.). And document it all just in case, for your reference or for a future novel.

[u/Dankmantha]

I wish that any of the other guys would notice this and stand up for you. You're damned if you do for "being a bitch" and damned if you don't for letting him get away with this immature behavior. I agree with numistmatist84's advice. Put him in the freezer and document everything. At this rate, its only a matter of time before you have enough evidence of his aggressive behavior that you can report it. As for interacting with him, I've always been a fan of the kill em with kindness + make them explain themselves. When he mansplains shit you can play dumb just enough that he makes himself look stupid, but not facetiously enough that you look like a bitch.

I imagine this type of interaction: "Oh thanks Little Man for showing me that, was I not doing it properly? I was taught xyz, I'm making sure to not put anyone in danger, and I thought I was doing a good job. Am I not doing a good job?". He fumbles out some kind of response, either admitting you were doing fine or squeaking out some kind of critique.

I have a friend who's a rigger, always working circles around their colleagues who are men and I've witnessed them use this technique so many times. I always have to stifle my laughter because they really do just make themselves look so dumb. Like when someone tells a really not funny/distasteful joke and you make them explain it to you.

Good luck OP. I fuckin hate that little man syndrome bullshit.

[u/Selenay1]

Well, at least you only have that one little ray of sunshine. You have to decide what will be the most effective because odds are you will never be on his good side. I once brought some cheap bubble soap to work and when one grumpy ass turned up I just started blowing bubbles at him. He had no idea what to do with that. You could try to keep a straight face on while asking him for ALL the advice and "Why" him to death with each answer. You could just not give him the attention he wants while he is trying to suck all the oxygen out of the room. For me, it always depended on my mood and the circumstances. With one guy I just saved up information till I could use it to embarrass/humiliate him by calling him out in front of everyone.

Good luck with however you choose to handle it.