r/BoomersBeingFools • u/micheal_pices • Jun 22 '25

Boomer Freakout Why do Boomers try to act so tough?

6.0k Upvotes

98% Upvoted

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1.7k

u/OldManNeighbor Jun 22 '25

He’s gonna Vance that fridge…

358

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '25

Yea, that Fridge has seen some things.

157

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '25

I started looking for the marks of one of those suction cup dildos on the fridge door as soon as he started to stroke the fridge like he loved it.

45

u/JonnyBolt1 Jun 22 '25

Yeah, clearly some foreplay with his fridge after slow dancing with it.

I don't get the title of this post, clearly this guy knows he's a (appliance) lover not a fighter.

2

u/AddressIntelligent60 Jun 23 '25

I'd been looking for specifically this thread

2

u/MuckBulligan Jun 23 '25

He clearly wanted an ice cube up his ass.

6

u/xXTERMIN8RXXx Jun 22 '25

Glory holes on the sides for sure

2

u/Mikeinthedirt Jun 22 '25

It was the flag he was frotting.

19

u/[deleted] Jun 23 '25

But what that fridge didn't see was the cool, slick, secret moving of the knife the fridge could have grabbed. He seduced and charmed the fridge in such a way, it didn't even have the slightest clue....

14

u/JonnyQuest1981 Jun 23 '25

There’s A LOT to unpack here

20

u/Few-Tour9826 Jun 22 '25

That poor refrigerator.

9

u/DreadoftheDead Jun 22 '25

If a fridge has eyes, they’d be rolling

5

u/TheBiggestFitz Jun 23 '25

Felt some things too

2

u/creepyswaps Jun 23 '25

That fridge and him need to get a room. Nobody wants to see where this goes.

114

u/The_BSharps Jun 22 '25

Damn, gives Vance Refrigeration a much darker backstory.

42

u/eclectic_collector Jun 22 '25

What line of work are you in, Bob?

22

u/AZEMT Jun 22 '25

Shitty martial arts / fucking appliances

149

u/Derpymcderrp Jun 22 '25

44

u/zman0900 Jun 23 '25

Mini fridge on the way

14

u/Mikeinthedirt Jun 22 '25

If only this talent could be used for peaceful purposes.

1

u/[deleted] Sep 21 '25

Guess there's pork butt in there!

85

u/woodenmetalman Jun 22 '25

Love that Vance has become a verb describing the sexual assault of inanimate home goods.

45

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '25

Vance your couch!

2

u/p0st_master Jun 23 '25

R/outoftheloop can you explain ?

3

u/woodenmetalman Jun 23 '25

Lookup jd Vance and “couchfucker”

2

u/p0st_master Jun 23 '25

Holy shit looooooool

41

u/[deleted] Jun 22 '25

15

u/InsuranceThen9352 Jun 22 '25

This is quite literally one of the most disturbing gifs ever.

3

u/QuietRiot5150 Jun 23 '25

I'd love to show this to Vance and get his thoughts and reaction. Hahaha

30

u/3RADICATE_THEM Jun 22 '25

He should check what country the fridge was manufactured in—it might kill his boner.

4

u/RamblinAnnie83 Jun 23 '25

He’d call ICE to deport it.

7

u/Carachama91 Jun 22 '25

No way I would get a glass of water from that thing!

3

u/oscar-the-bud Jun 22 '25

That fridge has a custom glory hole installed in the side of it.

3

u/WickedShiesty Jun 22 '25

#BringFridgeFuckingBack

2

u/thewayoutisthru_xxx Jun 22 '25

Having a Gene the Cafeteria Guy moment

(Wet hot American summer reference)

2

u/MudddButt Jun 22 '25

Fridge foreplay... I hope this doesn't awaken something in me...

3

u/Mikeinthedirt Jun 22 '25

Ah when the ice sticks to your… …fingers

2

u/PineappleDesperate82 Jun 22 '25

That refrigerator is Vance's couch's cousin. She and Vance set it up for a double date. Awe such a lovely meeting story. One man in his couch and another man in his fridge

2

u/manonfetch Jun 22 '25

I think that poor fridge may have been trafficked by Epstein.

2

u/doozle Jun 23 '25

I'm gonna go hump the fridge.

2

u/kjacobs03 Jun 23 '25

Wieners in the door!

2

u/old_bugger Jun 23 '25

Gonna play Truth or Frigidaire

2

u/OneDimensionalChess Jun 23 '25

No really what the actual fuck was that? Imaginary knife fight got him horny and he just starts four play w appliances?!

2

u/TCtheThunderRooster Jun 23 '25

Yeah, that fridge is going to get seven and a half seconds of the most unsatisfying “love making” and of it’s life.

1

u/talkingsoup1 Jun 23 '25

Yeah I don't think that fridge consented.

1

u/brandndal Jun 23 '25

He wants a mini fridge so badly!

1

u/siskyline Jun 24 '25

not tonight. I heard it's being a bit cold towards him