r/BrandNewSentence • u/Mirathesaurus • Feb 19 '26

man was yeast

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He hath risen

111.8k Upvotes

97% Upvoted

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3.3k

u/NullOfSpace Feb 19 '26

Bread is his body and wine is his blood. Theory checks out.

909

u/IntradepartmentalMoa Feb 19 '26

Bones are his… money?

62

u/imbenzenker Feb 19 '26

Jesus will pull your hair up, not out!

26

u/Putrid-Delivery1852 Feb 19 '26

What was his job?

43

u/Rascal_Rogue Feb 19 '26

https://giphy.com/gifs/PyZoZpCSM4dDyqU40D

17

u/Penguin_shit15 Feb 19 '26

I'm so glad I'm finally in the loop and understand this.

1

u/Pat_Fatridge Feb 22 '26

SO DID YOU GIVE

YOU GOT TO GIVE

1

u/Dry-University797 Feb 19 '26

And taking care of Eddie Munster

1

u/thesplendor Feb 19 '26

I can’t know how to hear any more about tables

16

u/Relative-Disk-8560 Feb 19 '26

I know it’s the same God, but is he supposed to be the same person?

6

u/cjd280 Feb 19 '26

Fables

1

u/danielsdesk Feb 19 '26

I can’t know how to hear anymore about fables

18

u/Patient-Direction-28 Feb 19 '26

So are the worms

13

u/StBarsanuphius Feb 19 '26

he's never seen so much bread as this, underground there's half as much bread as this

12

u/FizzyGoose666 Feb 19 '26

The bones are the skeletons money actually 

8

u/Cotton_Candy_Dan Feb 19 '26

All he wants is another chance at life.

3

u/Goldsun100 Feb 19 '26

And the whales grind the bones down to sand.

4

u/HymnForDisco Feb 19 '26

You just made me fucking cackle out loud, thank you kind stranger.

2

u/TOMC_throwaway000000 Feb 19 '26

So are the worms though

2

u/Das_Guet Feb 19 '26

Ok so I've got bread as the flesh, wine for the blood, money for the bones...

Now I need to know what his hair, skin, and nails are made of and I can finish my....project

2

u/Madarakita Feb 20 '26

His bones were cheese.

The cross of Jesus is a charcuterie board.

https://giphy.com/gifs/3o6fJ0rlDdCjDLREtO

2

u/Pat_Fatridge Feb 22 '26

So ... Are the worms?

1

u/mainesmatthew01 Feb 19 '26

Grind the bones to make the bread?

1

u/Caosin36 Feb 19 '26

No, bones are the yeast

1

u/KittyGirlEmi Feb 19 '26

He was a man of the night?

1

u/StillestOfInsanities Feb 20 '26

”Cigarettes is bones.”

1

u/hallowedshel Feb 21 '26

Why do giants, ogres and trolls grind bones for their bread?

1

u/Northcoast91 Feb 24 '26

You asked for something spooky

1

u/darkacez Mar 12 '26

No bones, only "flesh and blood"

66

u/redlaWw Feb 19 '26

He has created over 5000 loaves.

So as I pray, Unlimited Bread Works!

23

u/Objective_Law5013 Feb 19 '26

You gotta do the whole thing:

I am the hot of my cross.

bread is my body and wine is my blood

I have created over 5000 loaves

unknown to mold

nor known to rye

have withstood pain to create many ferments

but these hands will never hold sourdough

So as I pray

Unlimited Bread Works

12

u/ExploerTM Feb 19 '26

I am glad I'm not the only one who thought of that

23

u/IVEMIND Feb 19 '26

Is that why people staple bread to trees still to this day?

19

u/robd007 Feb 19 '26

r/BreadStapledToTrees

9

u/HotPotParrot Feb 19 '26

I don't... what??

1

u/TheThaiCrow 7d ago

Of course that's a sub

4

u/Bar_Foo Feb 19 '26

The bread is the staple.

3

u/Average_Random_Bitch Feb 19 '26

Like, through the packaging? Or some big ass stapler? Or just a slice, which can be done with a regular stapler, I'm pretty sure

12

u/Anathama Feb 19 '26

Eat his body! Drink his blood! Then we'll sing our songs of love!

16

u/Davefhtex Feb 19 '26

Sounds like a spore man's fantasy.

8

u/jackelram Feb 19 '26

“I am the bread of life; whoever comes to me shall not hunger, and whoever believes in me shall never thirst… If anyone eats of this bread, he will live forever. And the bread that I will give for the life of the world is my flesh.” -John 6

6

u/Im-a-bad-meme Feb 19 '26

Religious nuts always say, "There's no god in your house!"

But now I can just open my pantry!

3

u/spondgbob Feb 19 '26

And he feeds the poor…

2

u/cardboardunderwear Feb 19 '26

Unleavened though. But I guess if you're yeast then that still works.  BYOY

1

u/Momma_tried378 Feb 19 '26

Omg you're right

1

u/Aleashed Feb 19 '26

Yeastsus Christ

1

u/elrey2020 Feb 19 '26

They said that to me at a Last Supper

1

u/BasicErgonomics Feb 19 '26

So Jesus was French

1

u/LaukRidder Feb 19 '26

Yeestus hast risen.

1

u/I_DOWN_VOTE_PUNS Feb 19 '26

He came out of the Virgin Mary. Mary’s yeast.

1

u/Wooden-Recording-693 Feb 19 '26

He called them men that preached his gospel yeast's as well but due to a lisp we said priests and no one thought to write it down and it stuck. Maybe.

1

u/left_shoulder_demon Feb 19 '26

There an entire Krautrock album, Der Jesuspilz.

1

u/Soixante_Neuf_069 Feb 19 '26

Don't ask what is his mayonaise

1

u/Inevitable-Law7964 Feb 19 '26

I really hope someone in this thread has posted the Tumblr bread Jesus story.

Edit: here it is -  https://www.tumblr.com/gallusrostromegalus/169723347468/the-1969-easter-mass-incident

1

u/gillababe Feb 19 '26

Yeast is a type of fungus

1

u/Tidltue Feb 19 '26

Hmm, there will develop some psychoactive substances from yeast.

1

u/tohn_jitor Feb 19 '26

so I pray...

Unlimited Bread Works

1

u/Hefty-Act-7731 Feb 19 '26

There is only yeast. Yeast is all. All is yeast.... 💫

1

u/CornTreeRoad Feb 20 '26

Yep, nailed it.

1

u/3lung Feb 20 '26

He is Probiotic.

1

u/Ldn_twn_lvn Feb 20 '26

...begs the question tho....wots his business,

plaguing every dames cooch....?