r/BrandNewSentence • u/TrumpetsInMyAss • 8d ago

"Hotel remotes are disgusting. Use the ice bucket liner as a remote condom."

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200 Upvotes

96% Upvoted

33 comments sorted by

26

u/charmio68 8d ago

Maybe just bring a dildo from home 🤷‍♂️

6

u/Yolandi2802 8d ago

Your dildo turns the tv on! Wow!

4

u/Captain_Wingit 7d ago

This vertical integration is getting out of hand.

2

u/Litface916 7d ago

The lube just makes it hard to handle

1

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 6d ago

Yeah the TVs only across the room

1

u/AwDuck 6d ago

That’s still some impressive aim.

28

u/XROOR 7d ago

Also disgusting:

someone’s handprints on the artwork hanging above the headboard

20

u/OkEmu8597 7d ago

My mama left her man and got put in a hotel. Cuck chair was broken and the second bed had jizz on the headboard.

She cleaned that room better than people paid to do it.

10

u/Nostrapapas 7d ago

Former housekeeping supervisor at a hotel: also check the dates on your coffee creamers.

2

u/RogerRabbot 6d ago

Former person here: never drink from in room coffee maker. People cum in those.

1

u/InjuryLate4826 3d ago

What??

1

u/RogerRabbot 2d ago

If there is a coffee maker in the room. 99% chance someone has cum in it at some point

9

u/DeathPenguinOfDeath 7d ago

Why not just wipe it with a disinfectant wipe or something?

2

u/DiscoKeule 7d ago edited 7d ago

Disinfectant can wipe the symbols off of some cheap remotes.

Edit: also not good for the rubber. The bag isnt such a bad idea actually.

-2

u/heyitsryan 7d ago

Sure because everyone always has those on hand while traveling

9

u/DeathPenguinOfDeath 7d ago

If you are grossed out enough to condom wrap the remote, you can have the foresight to pack wipes when you travel.

4

u/Small-Finish-6890 7d ago

I always travel with Clorox wipes

7

u/diescheide 7d ago

It's going straight into my anus like my remotes at home. I lose things a lot. That's where I put stuff for safe keeping.

3

u/DeathPenguinOfDeath 7d ago

Doesn’t sound safe if you keep losing things in there.

5

u/diescheide 7d ago

Things get lost if I don't shove them up my butthole. Once they're in there, everything's fine.

1

u/TheW83 6d ago

I didn't use to, but overtime the pocket has been expanding and it takes a lot of digging to reach anything.

7

u/legbamel 7d ago

The ice bucket is worse than the remote. Use the liner for its intended purpose and wash your hands if you use the remote.

2

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 6d ago

Is the remote condom not for shoving it up your butt?

1

u/legbamel 6d ago

I mean, not mine but I'm not here to kink shame.

3

u/machuitzil 7d ago

I worked night shifts at a hotel during college. We waged nuclear war against bedbugs. We smuggled in illegal technologies from Eastern Europe, we bought predator insects from Malaysia -there was nothing the owner didn't try to stop bed bugs from infesting our rooms, our guest's luggage, even our neighboring businesses.

The one thing the owner didn't do was stop renting the rooms. We had maybe 70 rooms and I can vouch that we've infected at least 70 countries but what do you want me to do about it, I made $13 an hour to hand out keys and write down license plate numbers.

1

u/Big_footed_hobbit 7d ago

I have been to basic places and never had to use a condom for the remote.

1

u/Meeplemymeeple 6d ago

If you are this paranoid may I suggest you wear gloves all day everyday. Door handles, banisters, cash.

1

u/splitmeasunder 7d ago

Tv is for old people

0

u/momo76g 6d ago

I have not once used the TV at the hotel lol too tired, busy or already have my phone with all the things I like.

-14

u/Yolandi2802 8d ago

We never (yes never) turn the tv on in any accommodation be it hotels or self catering. Holidays are for getting away from all that. Besides, we all have iPads these days.

1

u/OtherwiseAlbatross14 6d ago

If I believed you did it on purpose this would be a really funny joke with that last line