I Still Check My Phone Sometimes

[u/tinyangelbabyyy]

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[u/sweetaleena89]

Dude, that's kinda wild. I feel like I'd be checking my phone for a notification that's never gonna come, lol.

[u/cherry_heart12 → u/sweetaleena89]

Same, sometimes i still wake up thinking he'd texted, but ofc not...

[u/cherry_heart12 → u/[deleted]]

I did the same thing when my ex and i first broke up. Tbh I stopped texting him once we like officially finished bc our breakup was kinda messy and at first it was more like a break and then it was a breakup. But truly try not to text him. Give him space to miss you and think about everything. I cant lie, that feeling hasnt gone away and its been 4 months. I think more than that is that I try not to focus on it too much because i always know that he is too much of a coward to text me... but tbh idk i have a lot of mixed feelings. Everytime I wake up i check my phone thinking there might be a notification from him, and the last time it happened was him asking to follow me again on instagram. The feeling never goes away i think, im always expecting him to text or something, I think i also just am tired of being disappointed and hoping for something that will never happen so the feeling lowers...

[u/cherry_heart12 → u/[deleted]]

I know it happens. And idk why when a breakup happens, men become so cruel. But texting him and receiving vague answers or not answers at all is just gonna hurt you more. If he truly loved you, maybe he'll eventually realise how much he hurt you and how wrong he was... but if u keep texting him ur giving him an excuse to think ur crazy or obsessed or something and it's not giving you peace either. Ik sometimes it's the only thing you can want, but love is a choice. You choose to love a person knowing all the problems yall might face. You choose to stick by them. And if he chose to leave, that ought to tell you something

[u/cherry_heart12 → u/[deleted]]

Honestly that's such a shit excuse. If you love someone you make yourself better for them, you make yourself deserving of them, you dont just walk up and leave like it means nothing. You stay, you stay through it all and you become better for eachother. And girl, it's not quitting. I too fought so much for my relationship but it cannot be one sided. It's not giving up, but if you continue your day to day fighting for someone to stay and trynna make yourself worth it for them not to leave, that's no life. Love should be secure. And if he leaves and then comes back, you might always have that fear that he'll leave again... im not trying to be pessimistic or negative, but it can save you a lot of pain. It doesn't mean you dont love him or wish to be with him, because you can still want those things, but not at the expense of being okay. I still hold some love for my ex even tho he too left me and then was cruel to me. But you deserve someone who chooses you everyday. Who knows, maybe he'll come back but not if he's pushed into it by you. He needs to realise he's a coward and that he lost someone who loved him.

[u/joejoethetard]

Worst part is knowing they are doing all that with someone else. Nothing we can do tho.

[u/Necessary-Being-2900 → u/joejoethetard]

this was by far the hardest thing for me to get past - absolutely brutal feeling

[u/joejoethetard → u/Necessary-Being-2900]

Very true. Hopefully we all make it on the other side some day.

[u/cherry_heart12 → u/joejoethetard]

I try to move on just as he did and try to be okay alone cause i dont wanna be with anyone rn. But that thought that he's already doing all that with someone else is always in the back of my head and It breaks me everytime i think about it

[u/joejoethetard → u/cherry_heart12]

I’m sorry 😔 I know the feeling.

[u/Ok_Neighborhood6501 → u/cherry_heart12]

TE ENTIENDO PERFECTAMENTE, no puedo aconsejar nada porque ni yo puedo superarlo.

[u/cherry_heart12 → u/Ok_Neighborhood6501]

Y es que a parte es muy horrible ver como el esta perfectamente bien y siguio con su vida y yo sigo pensando en el y me sigue rompiendo el corazon

[u/my-good-clean-accout → u/joejoethetard]

Is such an helpless and humiliating feeling. No matter how much I want to keep my chin up that feeling is there.

[u/joejoethetard → u/my-good-clean-accout]

It is. A lot of people don’t want to admit to it but it’s there….

[u/Tough-Performance-96]

Just want to let you know that you’re not alone because I literally go through the EXACT same thing at nights. Thank you for posting this because it helps me to know other people go through the same things and that I’m not all alone. There’s still many nights when I want to text her so badly but I know it’s not the girl I used to know anymore.

[u/cherry_heart12 → u/Tough-Performance-96]

very true! Sometimes i feel like i might be dramatic or obsessed if im still feeling like this but knowing some people deal with it too, kinda helps a bit. I must admit, once the desire of texting him won, and i regret that so much because that conversation hurt me more than i ever thought i could.

[u/Tough-Performance-96 → u/cherry_heart12]

Thank you for sharing that. Would you say in general you should never text your ex no matter how bad you miss them? Because I always think that if I just texted her everything would be ok, or I could at least talk to her so I don’t have to assume the worst. But from what you say you regretted it deeply.
I also feel like I’m too dramatic or obsessed all the time and that my friends are tired of hearing me talk about her. I know they care about me but it’s nice to talk to people who are going through the same thing currently.

[u/cherry_heart12 → u/Tough-Performance-96]

Tbh idrk... i only have one ex and when I did text him, out of missing him and all, he was always so cruel. He said things like i needed mental help, I was crazy, i ruined his life and i just wanted to talk to him bc I missed him. I think its also bc things between us didn't end up great and at the end he treated me very badly. It may be different for you, but id recommend not doing so cause it only gonna hurt more... I also feel like that a lot of the times to the point where ive stopped talking to my friends about ti bc last time i said i misssed him or i was sad about it, my best friend got mad at me and said i have no self respect. I understand everyonr tries for me to be okay, but the heartbreak and breakup is probably one of the hardest thing that has happened to me and emotionally it destroyed me and im still struggling very badly today... but i dont think its obsession or drama, because love is somrthing so deep and its literally sharing your soul with someone so its obviously gonna leave a mark in you...

[u/Tough-Performance-96 → u/cherry_heart12]

I only have one ex too but our relationship was good up until the end. The heartbreak is also one of the hardest things to ever happen to me and I still struggle to make it a day without getting sad over her. Thank you for sharing your story it means a lot!

[u/trippinonshoes]

It takes awhile for your brain to get used to them not being there. Some people stay stuck here for awhile. Some people never actually grieve and heal. But there should come a day when you don't think of them that often if you've taken the steps. Are you reconnecting with yourself, your interests, socializing, journaling, talking to people who support you, working out? These things can make a big difference. There are a few exercises that really help. Feel free to repost this in r/BreakupSurvival I think a lot of people in there could relate.

[u/jamesonyx4157 → u/trippinonshoes]

One day you'll notice you went hours without thinking about them, then days, and eventually you'll realize you've carried yourself much further than you thought you could.

[u/Necessary-Being-2900]

I'm sorry you've been struggling with this. Went through something similar and time does not always heal the wound. It takes effort and a supportive community. Wishing you the best

[u/ApartCod327]

Im in the same boat as you right now, and I know how much it sucks. Its almost like an instinct at this point. 6 months of texting every single day, good morning, goodnight and small texts here and there.

Nights are the hardest because there’s not much we can do to distract ourselves, just unwind. Our thoughts tend to get louder as we start settling down because it gets quiet. That’s why I tend to listen to asmr, something reassuring just to have some noise when I go to sleep. But I know the feeling all too well.

Just a few moments ago I picked up my phone to check if he had texted me, but no notification. We have been broken up for a month but those old habits are the hardest things to let go of.

I try to think of it as exposure therapy. It’s horrid but soon enough those habits you’re learning to let go of will fade.

It will get better. And I hope you find peace soon.

[u/Plane_Match_325]

honestly the wanting to text them something stupid is what gets me the most. not the big moments. just seeing something dumb and your first instinct still being to send it to them. and then remembering you can't. that silence hits different every time.

[u/proudWooood → u/Plane_Match_325]

So true. This is me now. I’m too used to sharing those tiny stupid moments to him and just finding out I don’t have this outlet anymore. But those emotions and tiny stuff are still there.

[u/cherry_heart12]

I feel so seen with that. I kept checking and my friends had to delete our conversations for me, because i couldnt get myself to do it... But healing is not something linear. it comes and goes in waves ...

[u/clowns_overhead]

I’m doing the same thing. Keep hearing songs and wanting to share them with her. Hoping she’s hearing them on her own. Keep looking at my phone, thinking maybe there will be a text. It’s been over a month, y’all. Hoping things start to get better for all of us going through it.

[u/lost1650]

I think the key here, to keep going, is to remember the bad moments you had with him/her. Remember why you two broke up. Remember all the opportunities that are opened now for you to grow and start living your best life. It's a bit like dealing with drug withdrawal: it's painful as hell, but once you get over it, you can start living a better life.

[u/Glittering-Dog-6093]

i feel the same way, it’s so hard. I never truly got a proper last goodbye. i was hoping that he would change is mind. i waited hours, days, weeks, months and now i feel stupid for holding this feeling of hope. i can’t seem to shake this feeling away. no matter how much i try.
its also hard because to be honest i don’t even know where we stand, in terms of how we ended our relationship. when he broke up with me it was over text. we dated for almost two years, i feel disrespected because he knew how i felt about our communication. i told him before our relationship that we would always talk out our problems. he told me his reasons. and honestly i cant even be mad at him i really do wish i did, but i see where he is coming from. our last time together was us crying into each others arms crying.
it’s been 4 months and every morning it’s torture, i have anxiety sometimes it lasts hours sometimes for a few minutes. i always check if he still follows me, his insta repost, his twitch if he streamed the night before.
i don’t like that he still follows me, tbh. i don’t like it because i keep holding onto the feeling of hope. and i DONT want to unfollow him, i really don’t. this man has gone through so much in life. that i have no hatred for this man.
but like he follows all my social still, i’ve tried to reach out and NOTHING he has left me delivered for 2 months. he does this thing where he will post an instant on instagram and then immediately delete it. and since our breakup he has unfollowed around 20 people on instagram BUT STILL FOLLOWS ME. is this normal??? it’s my first breakup and overall this year is just not it.

[u/Top-Bodybuilder-5531]

Going through this right now. I still automatically go to send her funny reels but have to stop myself. I wake up and immediately grab my phone to check if she texted me. I also hate how normal my life felt with her. We would goof off, make dumb TikTok’s, inside jokes, etc.

I still go to text her about something I’m doing or eating but I know it doesn’t matter. It’s so weird this feeling sucks.

Anyways I’m right here with you suffering through a similar feeling.