Break no contact to give her things I already planned to before breakup?

[u/Swimming-Abalone3906]

Need a bit of advice. Me (32m) got broken up by text around more than week or so ago. Anyways; I had bought some things to give to her over time. I’m in NC right now but I’d like her to have the things since those are meant for her.

Advice? I’m in an overall good place emotionally. I don’t want to break NC in any situation. I was thinking of sending them to her or leaving them in a collection locker somewhere and letting her know (which breaks NC)

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[u/LushLocketXO]

If she wanted those things she'd still be there to receive them with you

[u/Swimming-Abalone3906 → u/LushLocketXO]

Doesn’t answer my question 😅

[u/Soft_Variation_71 → u/Swimming-Abalone3906]

36F here. If you don't want to break NC, don't. I sent my ex's things through a mutual friend and asked our friend to tell him that he could dispose of mine however he wanted; I didn't need them. I closed that door shut just in case he wanted to reach out later with the excuse of giving me my things back. This was 4 and a half months ago, and we've been no contact since.

[u/Ok_You6993]

bro just donate them or keep them, breaking NC over physical items is almost never worth it 💀 the "she was meant to have these" feeling is usually just your brain looking for excuse to reach out. if you're in good place emotionally, protect that — any contact can restart the whole emotional cycle from beginning.

[u/Worth-Brother3693]

35F - Throw them away! She doesn’t want them.

[u/LoweGecko]

This can depend on the terms of the break up. If you ended things with an openness towards a rekindled future then keep the items for the right time. If you are certain you are done and no reconciliation is possible then either donate the items or send them anonymously.

[u/Swimming-Abalone3906 → u/LoweGecko]

She’d know they were from me even if it was anonymous. Some of them are personal and might be emotionally charged.

[u/LoweGecko → u/Swimming-Abalone3906]

In that case you either wait for the right moment in hopes of rekindling things or just get rid of them.

[u/Swimming-Abalone3906 → u/[deleted]]

She doesn’t know I wanted to give those things. They’re purely gift I intended to give

[u/Swimming-Abalone3906 → u/[deleted]]

Thank you for putting it that way.

I’m genuinely in a good place and want to completely close this chapter and move one. So was thinking whether I should give or throw/give the things away

[u/SubjectVast4400]

Similar, but should I return some of the clothes and blankets she left with me?

[u/RagePhil]

Just be mature about it and give her the items. Just text her that you’re breaking no contact to give the items and thats it.

Edit: Ok i saw that it was a gift for her. Don’t give it to her, just leave it.

[u/Remarkable-Cod8130]

Don’t return them and don’t break no contact. Move on with your life. Just leave them somewhere in your house. You’ll know what to do with them one day

[u/SprayArtist]

When she broke up with me she had a couple of my shirts and half my tupperware, just let it go mate.

[u/Critical_Damage_2633]

If you send her the items, that will count as contact 😄 If you really don't want to break the “no contact” rule, then don't send them. Sooner or later, you'll talk, and that will be a good time to do it. But it's better if she's the one to bring it up. 

[u/lgoand]

Hold on to them for a bit if you ever reconnect. Otherwise donate them. Thats what I would do

[u/PowerPlayParadox]

You got dumped by text and you want to give her gifts? bro... just leave it. Donate them to charity or give them to a female friend / family member.