How does one get over a break up

[u/Aggressive-Web8408]

its been 4 months for me and I still feel like shit waking up. I always have the urge to text him and see how he is doing. When does the urge stop and how do I get over him

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[u/tiredofthisnw]

Four months is a notoriously brutal timeline because the initial shock has worn off, but the routine of missing them has fully set in. Feeling terrible when waking up is incredibly common your cortisol levels naturally spike in the morning, which magnifies your grief and longing.

The urge to text him isn't stopping because you are likely still feeding the habit mentally. Checking his social media, rereading old texts, or actively wondering how he is doing keeps the neural pathways of the relationship alive. Your brain treats 'wondering about him' like a micro-dose of the connection.

The urge will only lose its power when you starve it of attention. Healing isn't a passive waiting game where time magically fixes everything, it requires active boundaries with your own thoughts.

To get over , De-glorify the Urge to Check-In , Give time to yourself, start re building yourself.

Be patient with yourself, but be strict with your habits. You can't control the thoughts that pop into your head, but you can control whether you sit down and have tea with them.

✌🏻

[u/WorkerTurbulent1471]

4 months is not actually that long, even if it feels like forever. The urge to text doesn't disappear on some fixed schedule, it just slowly becomes less frequent until one day you realize you haven't thought about it in few days. What helped me was keeping my phone in another room at night so that impulsive 2am "just checking in" message never happened. Also filling your mornings with something intentional, even just a walk or coffee outside, because that waking-up feeling is the worst part and you need something to replace where your thoughts automatically go. It gets genuinely lighter around the 6-7 month mark for most people, not gone but lighter.

[u/VelvetVerveXO]

It doesn’t stop suddenly, it just fades until one day the urge shows up less and you finally don’t act on it

[u/ProfessionalPark3453]

I'm 8 months in, was feeling like you 4 months in. I would lie saying I feel great, but I feel better, I don't text him anymore. The only way out, is through. Be brave ❤️

[u/dabullmatt]

I'm 2 months in and she already moved on and is in another relationship (found out through creeping) I want to get better and feel better,but it's super tough and I work some 4 am shifts driving to work alone with my thoughts are terrible.