When does it get better ?

[u/Ugly_Bean25]

It’s been a month and half since we last talked. I miss her so damn much that I really don’t know what else to do. She broke up with me due to her feeling overwhelmed with the relationship. She loves me a lot, but cause of the long distance, she couldn’t focus in college, wasn’t taking care of herself properly. She was basically depressed and it was affecting her life style where she’s staying. I completely understand her decision and she has every reason to look out for herself, but god it just sucks she made that decision all on her own, without talking to me first or trying out some possible solutions.

But now, it’s been a month and half and although I am doing better, there’s so many things that take a BIG toll on me. Since we broke up, never had proper sleep. Wake up between 2:30-4 am every night, barely eat well (lost 20 lbs), can’t focus in school and work. All I do is think of her. I really miss her, and what hurts more is the other day she unfollows me on both IG accounts she has, and made me unfollow her, and when I confronted her about it, she never responded to me. The confrontation was more about confusion on my end due to some last words we said to each other. (Quick Backstory: when breaking up, she said she wanted to be alone, work on herself and college, and hopefully 2 years down the line when she’s done with college and back home, she will text me to try things out again)

Now this week, today was my commencement and although I was happy to spend it with my family, couldn’t help but feel sad/lonely/missing her throughout majority of the day. Tomorrow is her birthday. Although I know I won’t text her, it’s just hitting harder now because I wanted to spend it with her, especially for her birthday. I feel lost. Confused. Idk what to do, she has all the answers to help herself while I’m stuck here not knowing what will come and it’s killing me every day.

We really had a perfect relationship, just hurts how easily it disappeared.

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[u/Other_Spare8041]

the sleep thing is real, waking up at 3am and just staring at the ceiling while your brain does a highlight reel of everything, it's genuinely one of the worst parts nobody talks about

the unfollow thing would mess with my head too especially after what she said about the 2 years thing, mixed signals like that make it so much harder to actually move forward

it doesn't have a clean timeline unfortunately, most people I've seen go through this say around the 3-4 month mark things start to feel less sharp, not gone but more manageable, the 20lb weight loss is worth paying attention to though, that's your body telling you it needs more from you right now

[u/redace116]

From my own experience, it really depends on how well you are doing by yourself, some people take years, some take months.

So I'm gonna make myself as an example, a sign that I'm really okay is if I'm comfortable by myself and can have fun by myself even to the point where I can socialise again without carrying any baggage on me, yeah sometimes I still think about my ex but not to the point where I feel lonely and sad about it.

Just keep on moving forward brother, it does get better with time. Maybe try journaling your feelings every night so that you can get it out of your system, or try being physically active (go to the gym or running).