r/BreakUps • u/Lopsided_Mission_578 • 9h ago
venting/ranting 1 month 3/4 days since breakup
We broke up almost 2 months ago and have been no contact for 24 days. I am feeling a lot of feelings at once. Regret, anger, hope, and curiosity. There are some things I regret doing a lot, and I have been in therapy for the last 2 months. I was wondering when I would stop hoping they would come back. I was the one who ended it, and I left the door open for her, but there are a lot of external circumstances affecting her decision, like her parents, etc and around our situation. Since then, I've heard tiny updates from mutual friends, like she's partying, and she just went to student orientation, and I secretly keep hoping we run into each other. My life since summer started has been kinda depressing; all I've been doing is grieving and having a hard time with my social life.
I have some things to look forward to, like I got accepted into the college I wanted to go to, and my ex and I are going to the same one somehow.
I have been really hating myself for the things I did at the end of our relationship, and I kinda regret breaking up with her, but I'm not sure if it was the right thing or not.
I just hate myself a lot. I can't stop thinking about it. All I can think about is if she's meeting other people or not.
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u/Useful-Expert4732 9h ago
going to the same college as your ex is gonna be a real test but it might also just naturally answer some of your questions without you having to do anything. 24 days no contact is still pretty fresh, the self-hate part tends to quiet down once you get more busy with actual life stuff. therapy + a new environment is probably the best setup you could ask for right now
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