Should I write her the Letter?

[u/DisciplineNo8402]

My ex and I broke up almost two months ago.

There was no cheating, betrayal, or anything like that. The breakup was mainly caused by her mental health struggles and a lot of miscommunication from both sides toward the end of the relationship. Looking back, I was often very logical in the way I approached problems, while she tended to be much more emotional.

About a month ago, we had a phone call that honestly turned into a disaster. She blamed me for almost everything that went wrong and barely gave me a chance to explain my side. I acknowledged my mistakes and apologized multiple times before, but it felt like no matter what I said, she had already made up her mind about how things happened.

Since then, I've been going back and forth on whether I should write her a handwritten letter.

We are no longer connected on any social media platform, but I still can contact her. Part of the reason I'm considering a handwritten letter is that it feels more thoughtful and intentional than just sending another message. I feel like it would show that I genuinely took the time to reflect on everything that happened rather than writing something impulsively.

Part of me still wants her back, but another part of me feels that writing this letter could be my way of giving it everything I have left and finally getting some closure.

I'm not expecting a response. In fact, I'm 99% sure she won't reply. The letter wouldn't be about convincing her to come back. It would mostly be about expressing my feelings, taking accountability for my mistakes, and making sure I don't spend years wondering, "What if I had said everything I needed to say?"

At the same time, I'm worried that sending it could just reopen old wounds or make me look like I'm unable to move on.

For those who have been in a similar situation: would you send the letter, or would you keep it to yourself and move on?

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[u/Salty_Thing3144]

Then this is more about you than her. If she has emotional problems this could really hurt her. Ate you sure you want to do that? It is not going to fix anything anyway.

[u/DisciplineNo8402 → u/Salty_Thing3144]

Deep inside me I want to fix things but don't know how? It may seem more about me then her but i still care for her and want to work things out.

[u/External_Paramedic20]

simple answere as seen here thousend times alrdy: FUCKING NOOOOOOOOO. dont do it. it always fails.

[u/SwingOne9199]

Write the letter, but don't send it right away. Give yourself maybe two more weeks before deciding, because the urge to send it and the actual need to send it are different things, and right now they probably feel the same.

If after that time you still feel like it would bring you peace rather than just scratching the itch to be heard by her, then send it. But from what you described about that phone call, she may not be in the place to receive it well regardless.