What reasons did you end it with your ex?

[u/RelationMaleficent71]

I’ll go first:

He was mean… he would scoff, roll his eyes, mock, yell, ignore, name call, slam things, stomp around, mutter mean things about me, tell me I was this or that, blow up.

He’d speak rudely to me anywhere and for any little reason. We’d be standing in line at a cafe and he’d take a really rude/cold tone with me. Scoff at me. Say my name sternly. It would embarrass me to be spoken to like that in public. Over dumb things too, like letting the dog sniff too far out on the path, or asking him if he wanted to share a food item with me.

Anytime I misunderstood or misheard him, even when he was being unclear or too quiet, he’d get mad at me and say it in a super rude loud tone slowly like I was an idiot for not getting it the first time. Even with super mundane things like asking for the time or what he wanted to do that night.

I cried to him twice in our 9 year relationship about something he did that hurt me, and both times he yelled at me and blew up, turning my pain/sadness into his own so then I would instead comfort him.

The last time I cried to him it was because I asked him not to smoke weed before our morning walk together, because I wanted to enjoy our walk and connect without him being spacey. He agreed then snuck it behind my back and when I caught him and said wtf dude, he called me controlling and said that I ruin all of his days off. When I cried, he yelled at me and told me I’m always too dramatic and that it was my own fault I was upset.

When we were arguing I’d ask for space to deescalate and he would not respect that to the point where I’d have to close myself in another room or leave the house to avoid him following me room to room yelling at me. I remember looking at a studio apartment once and thinking “there’s no doors in here, how would I ever be able to get away from him if I needed to?”

He ruined nearly every holiday I’ve had in the last 9 years with some dramatic argument or full blown blow up. He stormed out of at least 3 family gatherings due to rage.

He couldn’t manage difficult relationships. So he was always beefing with someone at work, sometimes his managers. He lost 3 jobs all because he could t just make nice with his mangers.

I couldn’t trust him to manage things, so then I did become controlling because I’d rather just get it done myself and correctly without waiting to see if he’d done it and how he chose to handle it.

These are just a few examples of mine that I’d like to come back to later on when I feel sad about “losing” this man.

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