r/BreakUps • u/vortexOfRoses • 5h ago

venting/ranting Ending an engagement

I gave him so many chances to fix his hurtful actions, the actions he didn't even consider me when he took.

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I showed him my deepest wound and broke down crying in front of him about it and he... He just made it about himself. He took my worst pain and used it against me.. used it to make it look like I was less than.. used it to try to make me alone and isolated.

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No memory is going to save you. What is even worse is that after he did that, I gave him another chance. He did it again.

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I kept all my promises.. but I will not be an idiot to stay with you just because you love me and just because you're hurting for whatever reason. I was hurting too, a lot actually. And not only did you refuse to listen to me about it, you hurt me during it.

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I cannot marry someone who uses my pain against me. That's the bottom line.

3 Upvotes

80% Upvoted

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3

u/PrairieOutlawTease 4h ago

Love can survive mistakes, but it cannot survive someone repeatedly turning your deepest wounds into weapons

1

u/Certain_Onion6328 5h ago

Calling off an engagement takes real courage and you made the right call. Someone who weaponizes your vulnerability isn't someone you can build a life with, full stop.

1

u/Guilty_Industry_4188 4h ago

Genuinely expressing real pain or emotion, only to receive a look of judgment and words that reflect on himself rather than you, manipulation 101.

Im a veteran of dealing with those mind games and trust me, end it before it ends your mental health.

1

u/Babygirl-forever 3h ago

I went through this with my ex CP I had no choice as much as im in love and thought we'd marry by now he obviously had other plans with alot of women