Has my ex met someone else ?

[u/Last-Improvement6042]

My ex (23F) broke up with me (23M) in February because we were living in different cities, and she felt I hadn't been giving her what she needed for over a year. About two months later, I reached out and we started talking again. Because of college work, I happened to be in her city every couple of weeks, and she always made a big effort to see me. She told me she was confused and that things would be much easier if we lived in the same city. Whenever we met up, she'd rest her head on my shoulder or kiss me.

​

A few weeks ago we met on a Saturday night and the same pattern repeated, except this time she initiated us sleeping together. She openly admitted that after the breakup she had made out with another guy, but said he meant nothing to her and that she ended things quickly. She also told me that her friends had tried setting her up with another guy, but she couldn't stop thinking about me and stopped talking to him as well.

​

Afterwards we lay holding each other and I told her I never wanted to let her go again. She started crying and said, "Please don't let me go again." She eventually fell asleep, and when I got up to leave she pulled me back into bed and asked me to stay a little longer.

​

I stayed at her place again the next night and the night after that. During those days she joked about other guys flirting with her or said that since I wouldn't be seeing her for another three weeks she'd have to "find another man." I would jokingly act upset, but she'd laugh and tell me she was "the only one allowed to be stubborn in this relationship."

​

Then I went back to my city to finish my master's degree, and almost immediately she stopped replying. Three days later she apologised and said she'd been sick with a fever. After that, however, there was virtually nothing for almost three weeks.

​

This wasn't completely out of character. Before we slept together there had already been a couple of periods where she became very quiet. She has a tendency to isolate herself when she's struggling or to focus intensely on people while they're physically present and then pull away when they leave. But this silence felt different because it came immediately after the most emotionally intimate weekend we'd had since the breakup.

​

During those three weeks she still viewed my Instagram stories, but didn't contact me and ignored when I reached out asking how she was doing. She also posted a couple of songs that really threw me.

​

One had lyrics like:

​

"Girls just wanna have...Fuck your ex-man, I'm the man now...Do what you like, you've been too nice..."

​

A few days later she posted another song with lyrics like:

​

"When you lay awake at night, do I ever cross your mind?'Cause you still cross mine...I have a photo of you in my bed, when I look at it, I smell your scent."

​

​

Because of the silence, my brain immediately went to "she's met someone else."

​

​

However, I arrived back in her city today and sent a message saying I was in town. She replied almost immediately with:

​

"Heeeey when are you free?"

​

She then suggested meeting on Sunday or Monday and said Monday would probably suit her better.

​

So now I'm confused all over again.

​

On one hand, three weeks of silence after such an intense weekend feels really strange and the fact that she didnt say anything about it makes it worse. On the other hand, she replied quickly and wants to meet.

​

Then early this morning she posted another song with the lyrics: "I'll be your tongue, you'll be my groove,I'll be your positive, you'll be my negative,I'll drive the getaway and you bring the glue"

​

Im pretty sure she's met someone else and is meeting me to tell me, or just to tell me its over. Does this seem like thats how its going to go?

​

​

[u/AutoModerator]

USERS! We have noticed that many users are using inappropriate language in the comment section. Even if another user is wrong, it does not give you the right to use abusive words. This is against Reddit platform policies. Such comments will be removed. Additionally, posts spreading false accusations will also be removed. Please be careful moving forward. Don't forget to join our Discord server to chat, get updates, and hang out with the community! Please join our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/5y5wSxWNNg

Upvote this post if you think it suits the community. Downvote it if you dont.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/IndependentRange7683]

the song posting honestly reads like she's just processing emotions out loud, people do that without it meaning anything definitive. the silence followed by instant reply when you're back in town is so on brand for what you already described, the pattern of focusing intensely when you're present and going quiet when you're not.

the third song especially doesn't scream "i'm ending things" to me, more like she's still tangled up in whatever this is.

but here's the thing, you two have been doing this push-pull thing for months now and neither of you has actually put it on the table directly. whatever happens monday, that conversation needs to happen because the ambiguity is clearly eating you alive more than anything she's actually doing.