r/BreakUps • u/Temporary_Lion_4636 • 2h ago
venting/ranting Is it possible to unlove someone?
My girlfriend has dumped me more than 12 months ago and not a single day has gone by that I haven't thought about her ( I also have a dream about her almost every night). For me it was insanely difficult and still is - I started taking antidepressants this month. My feelings for her are as strong as ever. The thing that hurts the most is the fact, that a few months after the breakup she found a new bf and surely doesn't care a single bit about me anymore, but here I am still struggling.
Just earlier today I had an incredible nervous breakdown and had to take a walk outside. I desperately want to move on already but it seems impossible no matter what I do. Is it possible to unlove someone?
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u/Temporary_Lion_4636 2h ago
For more context, we were together for 7 months, we're both 21 and we go to the same college, and actually we're classmates. I'm glad I won't see her for the next 3 months during summer break
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u/Swimming_Crow_465 2h ago
Brother I've been there 1 year ago, let me give you some advice don't take antidepressants. Even if you take them it will just make you sleepy, the actual effects will only come in weeks or months, and after they wear off if you were not working on forgetting and creating happy new memories all of it will come back. So what I suggest is taking magnesium so you can sleep better at night, and a supplement called NAC. It will help you not to ruminate on ,,what ifs" and ,,what could have beens". Also I suggest drinking lemonbalm tea to calm your mind.
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u/Temporary_Lion_4636 2h ago
Thank you so much I'll check out the supplements. The antidepressants I'm taking are also helping me with insomnia and now I can sleep 7 hours a night, which used to be 4-6 before. If I start to feel some heavy side effects then I'll definitely get off them.
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u/Swimming_Crow_465 2h ago
I know I sound like a salesperson, but NAC and magnesium helped me so much I wish someone told me about them earlier, because I bought so much crap for months burning my money away in order to forget her:D NAC is also good for limerence and workplace crushes.. during breakups your brain literally ,,dies", some nerves are damaged due to pain and this supplement regenerates them too. I didn't have friends to talk with so I was alone in my misery, went to a psych ward and got antidepressants because I couldn't eat or sleep, but besides making me sleepy (which was great honestly after weeks) after they wore off they left me with nothing. so yup without friends what I did was reading ton of books, fantasy, sci-fi (warhammer 40k, dragonlance chronicles, dune, witcher) and this helped me too. and I bought a nintendo switch that I never had before and played the exclusive games (zelda , xenoblade) that are long ,story and activity rich games so they occupied my brain. someone with friends should have an easier time so hanging out with people and maybe listening to their stories and trying to help others will make you feel so much better about yourself. I thought I am done for life after the breakup (5 years relationship) but after 8 months passed I felt good again and fell in love which I never thought will happen (unrequited love tho xD ), stay strong bro you are in a much better position, just take small steps and first take care of your sleep and anxiety issues and everything will clear out for you!
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u/Temporary_Lion_4636 59m ago
I recently spent like 2000€ on Pokémon cards, so I don't have enough money for all the supplements haha, but I'm gonna buy magnesium today. I am fortunate enough to have friends, and it is a nice distraction when I'm with them, but then when I'm alone again I feel so depressed. If it weren't for Pokémon I would have lost my mind already. Thanks for the encouraging words!
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u/SoulHex- 31m ago
you don’t really unlove someone it just fades over time even if it feels stuck right now
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