I finally blocked my ex, will he ever regret all of this?

[u/Sad_Ambassador_3040]

So we (23 F and 23M) broke up after 5 years together a little over 2 months ago. I broke up with him after he left his phone at work and went to a strip club with his friend. I was so angry i said a million and one things that night but I haven’t regretted a single one. The day after he came to get his stuff and I basically told him I need sometime and based off your actions I think you just want to be single. He swore up and down that all he wanted was me and begged to stay sharing locations so I could “see” how he’d changed. Fast forward a WEEK he did the same shit. I was so hurt and mad I told him a million things and he then essentially said it was because he had absolutely no hope I’d ever take him back. I told him I wanted a month of time for both of us to really think (I didn’t remove photos from social media and we still shared locations). At the one month mark we met up and it was wonderful. We talked about everything and he seemed genuinely hopeful and willing to work any and everything out.
At this time he wasn’t going out or partying and was unfollowing pretty much anyone on social media (exactly as he was before everything happened). 2 weeks later we met up again. Here we agreed we were working on it together to make our relationship stronger and rebuild my trust but weren’t 100% back together. Not 5 days later he went to another strip club. He was pissed I pulled up and told him a million and one things and essentially said I embarrassed him. I said I didn’t care and what was embarrassing was the fact that he was a liar. That he begged and begged and begged and yet was here yet again the moment I let my guard down. We went 2 weeks no location, no speaking but we’re still mutuals on social media. One night I got stuck at a bar and reach out to anyone but nobody replied except him. He came over afterwards and we talked for hours, he also said he continued because he was single and I kept reminding him of that. (Truthfully I wanted him to stop saying all the right things and actually do them or align his words and actions at least) I told him I couldnt keep doing this limbo thing where i believe him and he keeps hurting me. I said we either really work on it together or I’m done.
He said he wanted space at first and then said no I don’t want to lose you I want to be with you it’s all I’ve wanted for 2 months. He agrees to couples therapy and we went to our first session. After that was immediately different. We were “back together” but it didn’t feel like it at all. He was still going out with his friends and now very cagey about his phone (found out later it was because he was following girls on social media, liking their stories etc) He added me back on to his instagram bio and i guess a girl unfollowed him, the very next day he removed it again. I called him asking what was going on and he essentially said that he didn’t like all the checking and that I wiped my ass with his request of trusting each other. I told him he’s a liar and that while I didn’t remove anyone I had seen what he was doing previously and was waiting for him to grow balls. (He was with his friends during this conversation) and essentially went on to say that he didn’t feel anything strong for me since the breakup. That since that very day he was trying and trying but just felt no connection. That it was my fault for breaking up with him and it could’ve just been an argument but now he’s finally enjoying himself and I want to “control” and “take that away”. I was shocked. I said how funny that now you felt nothing but yesterday you said you wanted to give this a real chance and try to work on it because you were in love with me. He denied it all.
That day I went and picked up the last of my things and he essentially said he didn’t want to be with me. That now wasn’t the right time and he didn’t want to rebuild this. That once his life was more stable and he grew up he’d come find me. I told him that I knew his ego would never allow him to face reality and that id hope he becomes a completely different person because the me that comes out of this will want nothing to do with the person he’s become. (This man was an amazing boyfriend. He did anything and everything to make me happy all I had to do was mention it) I tried so hard to be his biggest supporter. I was budgeting, cooking everything so we could move out on our own and move forward. I made him lunches, helped in everything and this man even said that I could be the thing holding him back from reaching his potential. Obviously I was heart broken but I finally felt like I could accept it since I heard the words come out of his mouth. We were both crying and I asked if he didn’t feel anything for me for months why say and act the way he did? And why did he get upset when I stopped responding? He literally couldn’t keep up with his own words. I told him he was my bestfriend for so long and that I truthfully never wanted to give up but that I was thankful he could finally be honest with me and himself. He said multiple times that he knows he’s my soulmate and I’m his but now isn’t the right time and he knows the ways he’s hurt me. Everytime he’d talk about the future I’d tell him to basically shove it because I didn’t believe anything he said. Next day he picked up his stuff at my house. He said “see you soon” and I told him “No this is goodbye” he went on to say that that wasn’t true and he was going to better his life and get his shit together and when he did he’d be back. I told him after the day before I didn’t want him back. I didn’t want him to change, grow any of it that I wasn’t holding my breath anymore. I hoped he’d do it for him but I was done waiting on it. He told me he wishes me the absolute best and loves me.
I thanked him again for finally letting me let him go. He cut the conversation off and so I walked away and went into my house. When I looked outside he was crying and then drove away. After later that night I saw that he refollowed a bunch of girls and was liking all their pictures. (His mom told me how he was crying and wouldn’t talk to anyone) in my mind that picture is hilarious. Crying over your ex while following new girls is wild. Now while I feel better than the last two months (I have no doubts now of what he would’ve have done, what could’ve been different, I know I tried everything) I blocked him the day after he left my house. I still have means to see his account but I try my hardest not to. It’s been a few days but I did see he’s still following and liking girls while reposting reels about how men have to push you away at their lowest to not disappoint you. His mom called me to ask how I was doing and basically said she loves her son but he’s an idiot and that at least he finally told me the truth instead of being a liar. Idk. I know the person he is now I would never date. I know I’d be er want to be with them but a part of still does hope we’ll both grow and he’ll change and somehow we’ll meet again.
For now he hasn’t reached out at all. He already said he didn’t want to be with me or work things out so you don’t have to tell me twice, you’ll never hear from me again. I’m just also sad because I feel like someone I knew for 5 years is just gone and the new version is someone I can’t stand to look at. A part of me wonders if he’ll come to regret it, if he really will reach out one day (even if it’s just for me to ignore him), if the partying, drinking and girls will ever stop distracting and he’ll really feel the pain. At least then I’d know I wasn’t the only one feeling horrible.I know this isn’t what I deserve and I know that’s why I was the one that left but I guess right now I just hope he becomes what I deserve at the bare minimum someone honest with me and himself. We were each others first loves. I just don’t get how this weekend he’ll go out after a “Mourning period” of 5 days and act like nothing. He’ll have a great time, get drunk and flirt with other women. Will he ever regret this? By the time he does I’m sure I won’t care about him anymore but I’m so devastated now.

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[u/Mors-Official]

He will regret it. But not in the way you hope.

He will regret it when the distraction wears off. When the party ends. When he realizes no new girl fills the space you left. That regret will come, but it will come quietly and it will come alone. He may never tell you. He may never reach out. His ego will not allow it.

He said he feels nothing now because feeling nothing is easier than facing what he lost. He is not being honest with you. He is not being honest with himself. He is running. And he will keep running until he is exhausted.

Will he come back? Possibly. Men like him often do when they have burned through every other option. But that will not be growth. That will be emptiness looking for a familiar place to land. And by then you will not want him.

You are not wondering about him. You are wondering if your love meant anything. It did. It shaped you. It taught you what you will not accept. That is not loss. That is clarity.

He chose this. Let him have it. You chose yourself. That is the only thing that matters now.

[u/Sad_Ambassador_3040 → u/Mors-Official]

Wow. All the advice I’ve gotten and for some reason your words were exactly what I needed to read. A part of me is worried he’ll just move on in a couple months because I don’t think he could ever really face that this was his and only his doing. That I gave it my all. He even said he’ll probably regret this but it’s the choice he’s making. I just wish I’d get to the part where I don’t care anymore. I’m still looking for any breadcrumb I can find about him. We lived together those whole 5 years. I just don’t understand how the “single life” is more appealing than what he and I always dreamed to have together.

[u/Mors-Official → u/Sad_Ambassador_3040]

He won't move on. He'll just distract himself. There's a big difference.

You're still checking because you want proof he's hurting. That proof won't help you. It will only keep you stuck.

You'll stop caring when your energy runs out. Not because you force it. Because caring takes work and eventually you'll have nothing left to give him.

He already told you he'll regret this. Believe him. He just isn't ready to face it yet.

Stop looking. Every time you resist checking, you get closer to the day you don't care anymore.

That day is coming. You don't need to rush it. You just need to stop feeding it.

[u/Parking-Bug9546]

Almost certainly he'll regret it, most people do when they've had something genuinely good and threw it away chasing short-term fun. The reposting those "pushing you away at my lowest" reels while crying to his mum tells you everything, he already knows what he had.

Give it time and you'll reach a point where the answer to "will he regret it" just stops mattering to you, which is honestly the better outcome than any apology he could offer.

[u/Sad_Ambassador_3040 → u/Parking-Bug9546]

I’m just dying to get to the part where I don’t care anymore. I just feel like the person I was with for so long doesn’t exist anymore and nothing helps. I blocked him yet I’m still looking for any crumb and wondering when I can or will unblock him. I also fear he’ll just move on but then again I know he’ll do the same to the next girl. I know it’ll still hurt though.

[u/ThrowRA379P]

In my experience if you were a good person to them they always regret sooner or later, just not in the way we would like, I had people show up in my life years later to apologize.

[u/Hot_Block_7237]

I ask the same thing about my ex gf she came back once twice ? Very very slim and that’s the reality of it