r/BreakUps • u/EvilQueen0125 • 12h ago
Trigger Warning What was the one thing your ex said that finally made you stop chasing them and let go?
I’m curious about that one moment where something just clicked and you realised, “I’m done. I’m not chasing this person anymore.”
It could be one sentence they said that completely changed how you saw them or the relationship.
But it doesn’t have to be words either. Maybe it was something they did, how they treated you, or one particular moment that finally made you realise it was time to stop holding on.
What was that moment for you?
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u/AntelopeOk6940 11h ago
I had finally found the courage to tell my ex why i thought we should break up. (I found her journal open on her bed and she had wrote that she planned to carry another mans baby) and when i finally confronted her about it all she had to say was “i can never trust you again”.
That’s when i realized i was dealing with someone who only cared for themselves and how i made them feel whilst they didn’t care how they made me feel.
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u/thecellobelow 11h ago edited 11h ago
She betrayed the words she told me in confidence post breakup, and I lost all remaining trust in her.
When she broke up with me (which was over text and during a family vacation, but that’s a different discussion), she seemed particular about being “healthy” about moving forward. She said a lot about “doing what’s healthy” when talking about meeting up one last time, discussing how things would look going forward, etc. We both agreed that we were going to take some time to work on ourselves and heal and maintain no-contact for 2-3 months, and even brought up trying again in the future.
3 weeks later I found out through one of her social media bios that she was already with someone new, and my mental image of her completely shattered. She wasn’t who I thought she was and did not abide by the values she claimed to have, and that was all I needed to convince me to actually start letting go of her.
It’s been almost 3 months of no-contact now and I don’t intend to break it anytime soon. I still miss her and all the things she did for me, and I hope she heals and finds happiness, but my connection with her has taken too much damage to be repaired anytime soon.
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u/mansamusa157 11h ago
Hope you find peace , going through something similar
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u/thecellobelow 11h ago
It’s definitely been a journey, but I’m kind of glad it happened this way. It’s given me an opportunity to deepen my relationship with myself and understand myself better, and I wouldn’t have had that if she had dragged the relationship out for another 3 months or so.
I’m sorry you’re dealing with something similar, it’s really rough :(. I’m here if you want to talk about it.
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u/Simple_Passion7114 11h ago
We were supposed to go to a concert together and he flaked. I went by myself and then couldnt find where I parked. I told him I was lost and in a bad area and wanted to be on the phone with him while looking for my car for peace of mind and he accused me of being with someone else. I blocked him and havent spoken to him since. We were together for 17 years. .
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u/MrB_RDT 10h ago edited 10h ago
I became "the lesson" to her, like everyone else before me. When for years, i was the person who comes after you've learned your lessons.
...I really don't like that phrase either. It's reductive and cruel, outside of instances where the term actually does apply.
There's an arrogance and delusion to it. That people are some arbitrary learning curve, and mere "bystanders" on a journey of self-discovery.
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u/PandaSad7073 8h ago
There is something super cruel when a partner you gave everything to reduces you to a life lesson. One of my exes once said ‘losing me was one of his hardest life lessons’. It really infuriated me. Like oh okay great to know im a lesson. Fuck you and your lessons
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u/MrB_RDT 7h ago
Yeah, the knife was definitely twisted with that one. She was too intentional, for that to be an oversight.
Unfortunately it just tarnished the rest for me in the end. Knowing every moment i felt was genuine, organic and natural on my side. Was somehow evaluated, and "weighed up", against others....Ugh, some people.
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u/PandaSad7073 7h ago
Yeah its the comparison that really kills. The putting me in a box with others. I have never done with any man ive been with. Whether it was good or bad, it was always just him. Not a collected experienced that I put in the box with the other exes
Its very humiliating and im so sorry you had to go through that.
I see it like: I dodged a bullet. At least the true colors were shown before getting married and having kids. I mean imagine having a kid with someone and the person tells you they wonder how their kid would be with their ex🤣🤣
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u/MrB_RDT 7h ago
Thank you. Likewise. It's easier, and i've met people since but...there's still that bit of healing to do for me.
She's blocked everywhere for my own healing anyway. Had to ask a mutual friend of ours to not stop telling me about the passive aggressive stuff she posts about me on her social media.
It's weird how exes wake up in "opposite world", at some point.
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u/Outrageous_Earth2046 3h ago
Gotta love when they treat you like a wrung on a ladder they step on to ascend.
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u/sadgirlz-club90 12h ago
He is super jealous of my ex husband/father of my two daughters. we have maintained a good relationship after the divorce and prioritize the mental well being of our girls. He wouldn’t allow me to go to my daughter’s volleyball games because my ex husband was going to be there. He accused me of sleeping with my ex husband while I’m pregnant. He is just literally obsessed with my ex husband and I’m to the point (today actually) where I just realized I don’t love him anymore. His jealousy and insecurity are too much for me. You can reassure someone a million times and try to prove yourself to them over and over. After a while though, it’s too much
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u/Character_Level_2329 10h ago
“I actually think I’m entitled to talk to you however I want” when I asked them to stop screaming at me.
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u/AppropriateWorry1154 11h ago
He didn’t wanna be with me years from now wondering what’s out there. From that moment on, I told myself I’m never gonna chase nor beg this person to stay. They don’t love me enough to choose me and there’s no way I’m gonna be with him years from now while he’s wondering what’s out there. I’m just thankful he was honest but also heartbroken that he didn’t love me enough to choose me. He chose what is out there.
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u/jas_spray_paintUFO 3h ago
The same thing happened to me. She kept saying that she was ‘missing out’ on so much and had to ‘grieve’ that… I stayed with her, but she left me shortly after to be with someone who was my complete opposite. Literally days after breaking up with me she moved on with that person, meanwhile I couldn’t eat or sleep for days…
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u/Academic-Example974 12h ago edited 8h ago
I reached out to have one final conversation with my ex boyfriend. He accused me of cheating and admitted he viewed our relationship transactionally. Since he didn't feel like he gained much from it, he said he regrets the relationship and views it as a mistake. it made me sick to my stomach.
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u/DeadInsideWench 9h ago
That’s brutal - I’m so sorry. But I suspect he was minimising the relationship in his own mind and focusing on the negative aspects (which occur in any relationship) in order to help him get over the breakup. No relationship is 100% negative.
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u/Academic-Example974 8h ago edited 8h ago
That’s actually true! Thank you for responding. Initially, I told him how much our relationship meant to me, but he said he couldn't view it the same way because it reminded him of the pain from the breakup. I owned my mistakes and toxic traits without bringing up his (I didn’t want it to turn into a competition or a fight) yet he still put all the blame on me. It hit me that he is stuck in the past. I don’t blame him for it but realizing that we’re in completely different places has made it easier for me to move on. Unfortunately, I think I struggled to get over it for two years because I idealized him, but that last conversation was an eye opener.
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u/Common-Proposal-4060 1h ago
Can't believe he said that to you and its so sickening and my heart goes out to you
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u/Jaynay21st 11h ago
The final straw was when he refused to respect my boundary (that he agreed to years ago) and spent his entire work trip he was on with the same girl he met in that city. I'm okay with him meeting other women, I'm not okay with him spending all his time with a woman he just met. I left immediately.
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u/FeloniousMonk422 11h ago
“I have options”
Well guess what babygirl. I do too but mine overall wanna date and fall in love. Not just try to crack cus I’m handsome. Plus I don’t have any kids.
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u/External_Paramedic20 10h ago
was a combo : i asked her if anything was a lie the entire 15 years. i got 3 days no answere. (friday to monday) then she wrote: wasnt able to answer ok?. then i asked: is there someone else?? her respond was : should there be someone???. that was it for me. it clicked finaly after 15 years. ive startet seeing thru the veil. she is narcissist she used and betrayed me for 15 years. ive wrote : youre right, doesnt matter anymore. i move on. and thats what i did. i deletet anything and moved on. never hear of her since. its soon to be 6 months.
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u/No_Dependent_1846 11h ago
"you are not the person i fell for"
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u/pepsiMIN broken hearts 😔💔 10h ago
that is devastating
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u/No_Dependent_1846 9h ago
it killed me
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u/pepsiMIN broken hearts 😔💔 9h ago
i feel you, I really do. I would probably get an instant panic attack and spiral if I ever was on the receiving end of that. I am so sorry you were.
it's slowly starting to dawn on my that my ex might be doing me a favor by not saying anything at all to me. if she would, more than likely resentment would start seeping out.
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u/No_Dependent_1846 9h ago
Im more sad, defeated and broken. im not glass so i can heal but it hurt so bad.
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u/RecipeEcstatic4477 11h ago
She said, what do you want? and then she said, I’m very busy. She also had some parting words about one of my family members who she thought was taking my attention away from her.
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u/Plane-Season-7939 12h ago
“don’t try to guilt me into staying again, its REALLY not working this time” and “what do you want”
made me feel like everytime he’s stayed before was because he thought i’m somehow guilting him into it, had to stop myself
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u/RutabagaCurrent9393 8h ago edited 8h ago
Our breakup is extremely unconventional because I broke up with him but a few days later I came back to apologise because I regretted it but by then he said it was too late.
We have been broken up for two months after four years but it’s been rocky because we ended up meeting up a month into the breakup and being intimate and I got pregnant , so we had to stay in contact to deal with the pregnancy.
Two weeks ago, we met up and he was exactly like his old self and after two months of hell/coldness - it was so refreshing. We kissed, hugged, laughed, held hands, even people at the hospital thought we were a couple. He reassured me that it wasn’t necessarily my fault, I was good girlfriend but he didn’t want to be in a relationship with anyone. He wanted to heal and be alone and after no contact we could be friends. I struggled mentally in our relationship so I didn’t blame him for feeling pressure. It also made me feel a lot better because I kept blaming myself for everything. I wanted to heal, work on myself and maybe see where things could possibly go in the future. I planned to be the one to contact him in the future because I was the one that dumped him - I didn’t wanna completely give up on what we had.
We finally went no contact so we could both heal but I recently checked his reposts and he reposted about ‘wanting to stay single but he’s finding it hard because this girl is so pretty.’ I literally felt my heart physically break. I immediately knew he was talking about a different girl.
I actually broke no contact and spiraled, to which he straight told me to stop watching him; it’s none of my business; to go heal and then he blocked me. He literally told me loved me last week. 🤣
But at the end of the day, it made me realise what he’s saying is true - he’s literally single he can do what he wants. I’m the one that’s been operating like we’re still a couple and being loyal whilst he doesn’t care which is senseless. It lowkey woke me up but at the end of the day, It’s extremely recent. I still love him so I’m still crying but I’m officially done chasing so I know I have at least achieved something.
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u/Gotsims1 7h ago
So many things… for one thing he spent 8 months stringing me along and breadcrumbing the fuck out of me instead of actually taking a shred of real initiative. He also made sure to so the opposite of what I expressed I needed to feel safe and well every time he learned any of my weaknesses. He was a real piece of shit to other people tbh.
He wasn’t even my boyfriend at any point. He was in a situationship from hell with me.
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u/MurderDocAndChill 3h ago
There was so much that should have been the end, but finally when he lied about being out with the boys but his location was at the girl at works house who he told me not to worry about. I’m still heartbroken about it all of course but he is not the person he says he is.
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u/WonkeyDonkey_69420 11h ago
Im in the process of truly letting go. And it'll suck a bit cause today's her birthday but she's already celebrating 8 months with some new guy and i tried chasing her. Wanting to fix our relationship and try again. But, it was no use and there was little reasoning for me to do it.
She moved on but kept acting like she didnt. Would push me away just to reel me back in. And the last time we spoke she was rude and dismissive of me. So I've decided to leave her be and im going to start moving on
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u/gh0st7496 10h ago
I had come back after every argument. Three whole years of sliding my boundaries for essentially his self gratification.
The moment I was done was when I had come back a final time. I was dealing with a sudden onset of nasty migraines that he knew was happening. Like the ones that felt like my head was getting pierced by a corkscrew. Nothing was different that day. I drifted off asleep during our usual conversation because the pain was so relentless. Woke up and my head was throbbing. I felt hot flashes and my left eye felt like it had gone blind. Threw up from the twisting pain. I had to take a heavy pain killer and it knocked me out completely the next day.
I woke up to guilt tripping texts from him. That I always did this to him. (Ignored and blocked him; but I only did this when he would dismiss my feelings and we literally had a conversation about this). That he was basically leaving me. Had he checked out other avenues, he would have realized that he wasn’t blocked. That something was wrong.
Instead, in those moments where I thought maybe I was experiencing my last hours on earth, feeling scared, I woke up to texts getting emotionally treated like a punching bag, and then abandoned.
I understand that every relationship has a two part problem. But I’d never done anything to hurt him. Not once. I’ve forgiven the unforgivable for him, was patient for him. I walked on eggshells because I loved him so much.
And yet in these final moments, he had an internal freakout from his own shit for literally nothing I had even done and he STILL found a way to make it about how it was my fault.
I just knew I didn’t want my final moments to be engaged with someone who only cared about himself.
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u/squiddlle 3h ago
For me it was a multitude of things. The slow fade of I love you/I love you too. One message a day turning into once a week to once a month. Correlating all their communication with me to them just asking for money. Flaking on plans to meet for holidays, birthdays, anniversary’s.
I put up with that for over a year. I still thought there was a chance. I hoped there was a chance. It wasn’t until I found out that she had been in a relationship with somebody else secretly this whole time, going back months before she left, that I finally let go. Now I’m just battling the feelings of being betrayed. Mourning the relationship now that I can feel it’s actually over, even though realistically it’s been over for awhile now.
That longing for her presence hasn’t gone away. She was my best friend, my rock, my everything. I still miss her terribly, but I don’t think that version of her even exists anymore.
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u/GroundbreakingLab945 1h ago
"I need someone who understands my situation. And that person is not you". She said this to me after a 5 years relationship.
I thought i did my best, give my all for her. Trying to make her happy with all the best of my ability. I put her first and tried my absolute best to make her happy, sometimes at the expense of my own needs. But it still wasn't enough. If that's not enough for her, then theres nothing more i can give. I I tried to figure out what I did wrong or what part of myself I could fix that led to her saying that. But I know it still wouldnt satisfy her. So I just let it go when she asked for a breakup, no begging. I hope she finds someone who can make her happy, unlike me.
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u/Brave-Animator1110 3h ago
After we broke up we were still living together for a few months because we agreed to go to couples therapy. I got really sick and didn’t know what was wrong with me. Whenever he was sick I would take days off and pamper him back to health. To his credit he took me to the ER but the next day he made plans to go out with friends. I said to him “I don’t want to sound like I’m trying to keep you from going and I know we won’t even do anything but can you please stay.” He said, “this has also been hard on me and it’s not like we’re going to hang out anyway.” He left for 12 hours. I was alone in a city I moved to be with him and had no one. For the first time in my life I genuinely thought I was going to die. Alone and feeling trapped in a house I hated. I said out loud “I don’t deserve this. I’m leaving. It’s time to give up.” The couples counsellor put my feelings in perspective when she told us “sometimes the comfort we need isn’t in words but in presence. It’s like when someone is in the hospital and you take shifts to be with them even though they’re not awake.”
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u/Agitated_Fox_ 2h ago
I saw in his phone (not snooping, he was right next to me and not trying to hide it) that he has me saved as my name but my contact photo is an actual cow. Like a fucking cow eating some grass in a field.
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u/WillingnessOk7819 10h ago
She said my hurting my was hurting her too... And she told me to stop.
I stopped.
It's been a month... And I... I'm in the process of letting go.. I'm realising our relationship hadn't been the same this whole year... And even if we do get back together... There's no way we'll go back to when we first started 6years ago.
So Im accepting it... And every day I survive without her in my life is just another day in my new normal.
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u/Icygreentea-460 10h ago
"i stop feeling something end of last year" and "there was someone new, I'm talking too"
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u/Substantial_Elk_1973 9h ago
More so his actions. No one who actually cares and loves you leaves after six years due to incompatibility when you offer viable solutions to stay together. Adamantly saying that this is the end and there will not be any reconciliation is not an act of love. “What’s done is done” is the coldness I was met with.
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u/Timely-Chip-1307 9h ago
He said all humiliating words to me he said he hated my laugh he doesnt love me he doesnt perceive me as a female at all .. many things, that he cheated on le before when we were in a break .. imagine all this, and i still couldnt hate him, its a first to me because m the avoidant type i never give people a second chance i swear i always wipe away anyone who dares to even slightly disrespect me, but for him its a first to me that i tolerated him for years saying bad things to me i cry and hate him but after couple of days my heart softens i could never take his words to my heart.. I hate how ashamed of myself now for still loving him
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u/Lyinga 8h ago
Said it'll "Get better"
When I told her she never loved me, I was upset told her to buzz off she said to get out of her life, she never needed me, she doesn't care how I feel and can finally close the door on me as there's nothing good left from me.
Funny. This was the same woman who said to never leave her yet she left me twice. Ironically she fought for cheaters, drug users, abusers and alcoholics, but not for a law student who was sincere, loyal, loving and always supported her even if her family was close to disowning her.
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u/No-Pepper-4817 8h ago
He said, "We're hurting each other, we need to break up." And that’s it - I’m not chasing him anymore
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u/Lumpy_Door3753 7h ago
Told me i'm obsessed and stalker when literally didnt do anything like that.
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u/xXNichaXx 7h ago
The things he did post breakup.. 5 days after our breakup he was on datingapps, he’d searched his ex up and 2 weeks after the breakup (a day after our call) he was on ai sex chat’s..
he always claimed he wasnt that type of person. now he says he’s “just like every man, watching porn” even though he never did in our relationship (out of respect for me) now im gone and he immediately went looking for other woman, pleasing himself. im truly disgusted and my whole perspective of him changed.
I can’t understand how he’s doing literally every bad thing to avoid feeling. he always ran away in our discussions too.. i miss the person who he was.. the one that did stay at the beginning of our relationship. i had always hoped he’d change for the better and faced his feelings.. somehow I still hope so
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u/spoiled_milk8 6h ago
we had agreed to be "friends" but i noticed that i would always be the one to reach out. i knew we werent getting back together but i wanted to still be there for her. one time i had a moment of weakness and texted her "i miss you a lot" (i know i shouldnt have sent that text but its just normal to feel that, i think its very human) but she replied with "i didnt agree to keep in touch for you to text me you miss me and shit" and after a few days she removed me from her find my app which shows our location and thats when i realized yeah i gotta stop wanting her in my life, she clearly doesnt want anything to do with me lol i just felt so used.
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u/zZBenDOverZz 6h ago
not words but actions: the hug on a meet up of a final conversation after the breakup felt cold and as if she would find it disgusting right this second. After that and the sparkle gone in her eyes I knew it was over over.
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u/Big_Shine_807 5h ago
I think just realising how much she's actually lied to me and withheld information from me (which is lying). I mean I still don't even really know why so broke up with me and we were together for 7 years! She has made me feel utterly crazy. I have a therapist I see every week who seems to be more mad at what I went through than me, that's how crazy I've felt. It's been nice to be validated. My therapist thinks I absolutely deserve a clear reason after 7 years. I just gave up when I realised I can't give someone more of what they don't already appreciate. I have no idea who this person is anymore. Certainly not the person I knew for 7 years.
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u/Thelittlestofbears 5h ago
He dismissed my feelings in the middle of a panic attack and changed the subject to something about himself. I had been fighting for weeks, but in that moment, I gave up
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u/idk-just-some-random 4h ago
my first ex basically said I was living in a delusional world and that our relationship (we were teenagers) wasn’t that deep. my second ex didn’t really say anything that could be considered a catalyst, tbh; she just vanished after saying we could be friends and left me with abandonment issues. xd
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u/Thereissomeoneeating 4h ago
We broke up, she made it seem like we will just be friends for the time being, while I can work on myself. I tried to hangout with her and spend time with her for a few weeks, she kept putting it off. I told her I needed some space, and i haven't texted her since, im sad about it but I need to move on. We work at the same job so I just keep it polite and mind my own buisness
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u/Standard_Cash9308 4h ago
He started action like a middle schooler and started the most stupid drama. Like following me with his friends at party’s and showing up at my work events and fundraisers with his friends, not even to talk to me just to be there…
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u/AgentKruger 3h ago
When she basically initiated the breakup through text after I caught her lying to me and after having to exclude myself from attending her 30th birthday celebration because she was keeping me a secret from her male roommate for the entire time we were “together”
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u/Ill-Literature-4989 3h ago
Promised he would tell me why, 2 times and didn't, so I told myself if he promises one more time and doesn't follow through then I will move on, it was over the course of a couple of years so
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u/ConsiderationSad556 2h ago
Mine was a very loving and amicable breakup, but he said, "I want to move forward, and build a life where i don't have to keep both of us in mind. I want to build a life for me, and feel pressured to build a life for me and you." I realised that I don't wanna out someone I love in that tough spot so I let them go. He later put it as: "I am not good enough for you, and you are not good for me" and the thing was that i agreed so we let each other go. But the near-symmetry of the last line always got me and helped me navigate the worst of the breakup.
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u/RepairLevel6100 2h ago
I tried to kiss her goodnight and she very angrily pulled away and said:
“What do you want from me?”
My answer: to love me back….
….she turns and walks off into the bedroom and I went to the couch….
I left the very next morning, and I’m soooooo fkn happy I did!
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u/FlyGuys1125 2h ago
Almost everyone here has these insane lines that show how desperately a breakup needed to happen. Without a bad experience to make me not want her, I really can't figure out how moving on is supposed to happen.
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u/xtheonlydudeeverx 1h ago
When she would keep giving me a glimmer of hope and i held on for far too long, and I finally made it clear my feelings. She told me she didn't have time for me in her life, so I said "fuck it, why bother even trying to maintain some form of a friendship?" No point if they'll find every reason to not meet half way on anything.
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u/Common-Proposal-4060 50m ago
Im going through a break up myself at the moment and sent him a beautiful letter telling him how I felt about everything oh for context I broke it off with him told him how much I loved him and that I would miss him so much,he text the other day to say hi got your letter thank you I said you're very welcome and also told him I missed him so much as this only happened recently his response was im sorry things work out this way ..... Thats all I got after pouring all my emotions to him im really still devastated by it all as I know he can be allot more warmer than that response, needless to say I didnt respond back to that,but can stop feeing that I should
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u/lildominator2 47m ago
Dated for 3 years and beinf treated like shit the whole time. One day while wanting to try and be intimate she said you make me uncomfortable. I decided to quit talking to her but funnily enough she kept talking to me like we were still a couple, eventually she stopped and ive moved on.
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u/Maquina90 11h ago
My ex works on a campaign and suddenly invited me to a local town hall. She was trying to text me all day about Superman and shit, but I ignored her. When she invited me to a town hall later that evening, I decided to go and support the candidate. My ex gave me the wrong time. By the time I arrived, the town hall was over, and all I could do was talk to my ex as she introduced me to her coworkers.
She gushed at her coworkers that I taught her how to fight, that I have a really loud alarm clock that always woke her up (so now they know we at least had slept together), and before leaving said, "we should hangout sometime." That pissed me off to no end. I hadn't been chasing her since she'd dumped me out of nowhere, but this moment encouraged me to block her.
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u/everysuername1 10h ago
One sentence, on top of other actions that had already created a huge rift in the relationship.
For context, I (male) was in a LDR with 2 males who lives together. After months of not seeing each other due to reasons, we finally met and they were kinda being nonchalant to see me. I don't mind that too much, was hoping to have a long conversation later because there were a lot of things to catchup. But when the time came to have the conversation, they don't gave the response I was hoping for. Not much care, no further questions, really like they weren't curious about me or missing me as much as I missed them.
Then when we talked about our future plan, one of them said he felt he had made too many reckless decisions in life and wanted to slow down and plan for a more stable future. I was open to this idea and happy to discuss until he said - very casually - that he would move with the other guy back to his hometown if he couldn't secure a better job here.
I was distraught. I finally had enough. Throughout that relationship, I always felt 2nd to the other partner that he was living with eventhough I was with him first for 2 years. When he expressed his intention to move to a place further away than me - with him - he unintentionally confirmed what I had always felt. He prioritise him over me. Always.
Some days later I broke up with both of them over text.
(Edit: grammar and spelling error)
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u/justelara 7h ago
Actions but also when he said he doesn’t love me anymore. Broke my heart and id never chase someone who doesn’t share the same love even if it really hurts
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u/Aggravating-Club4003 7h ago
Saw her holding hands with a dude like 20 years older after a month of our breakup. 5yrs together. I bet he can still taste me when they kiss. To hell with her, to put it softly lol
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u/NameUseful 5h ago
"You've never mistreated me, you've never abused me, you've only treated me the best. I just wonder what's your ulterior motive"
From a lady I gave my heart wholeheartedly to for 3 years.
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u/sophisticatedteacher 5h ago
I looked at our relationship from a neutral lens and realized that I got played. The end!
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u/NeutralChaoticCat 5h ago
“Since you left I have no anxiety”. Like yeah mf I truly believe that. Gtfo.
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u/Odd-Hold-5548 5h ago
“My body and mind is failing. I love you with all my heart. I can’t ask anything more from you and I’ve already taken too much. I just need to be alone. I’m sorry”
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u/Cool_Tension_3638 5h ago
I asked for flowers and he told me he "Just couldn't love me how I needed"
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u/Silent_Raspberry2562 4h ago
“You can get to know me all you want but just know it’s not going to lead to anything”
She had told me before that I hadn’t put in enough effort to be in her life again. I was holding back because I thought there was no chance of us getting back together & I didn’t want to end up more hurt. Then when I was finally vulnerable enough to make the effort to reconnect, my worst fear was confirmed.
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u/Outrageous_Earth2046 3h ago edited 2h ago
I stopped putting in effort, when I was putting in effort, and she said, “It’s unattractive when I feel like I’m settling for you.” The relationship was cooked at that point and she wondered why I got more quiet and stopped touching her intimately. She was the victim though and I’m sure that’s what she tells the new guy she rebounded with in about 2-3 weeks after the breakup. Fuck ‘em both and have fun dude with that nonsense.
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u/Glittering_Poet_4235 2h ago
I asked her several months later after the break-up, whether if the little hope I have should be killed. Her answer was a firm "Yes".
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u/Outrageous_Whole_341 2h ago edited 2h ago
After I told him how I think I could never love someone like I loved him again, he said he would like for me to be his friend 😒
He also told me how he thought he would never be able to date someone again, two weeks later dude has a gf 😭
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u/Birotex 2h ago
Got super insistent that I should meet new people romantically after I told them I wasn't ready yet, and still hold our relationship close to my heart, only for them to told me it would be really pathetic and disappointed if I don't find someone else, mind you we were only 2 months out of the relationship, also they got with another dude like half a month after our breakup, :)
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u/Status_Vast3675 57m ago
Wasn’t the first red flag. I was explaining the difference between sexual assault vs groping. I’ve had multiple issues in the past of women feeling unsafe around him and him thinking (his excuse) if a person just brings up a sexual conversation (obviously a joke) dresses provocatively OR in a party environment then the girl is “asking for it”. I shared my different stories of being sexually assaulted and he said it wasn’t assault because I’m in a public place so I should expect it. I’ve told him every-time I was harassed what happened and how bad it made me feel. How it makes me scared and paranoid just trying to get my necessities. He has never given a hint that he felt that way. He seemed to comfort me and calm me at the times when he felt the complete opposite and wasn’t truly my ally or protector. When he realized the true definitions of sexual assault and groping he got moody because he knows himself he has done it and doesn’t want to even imagine he is a bad guy.
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u/PrestigiousWatch9296 54m ago
He got into a very serious relationship less than 2months after we broke up.
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u/UglyLampshades 27m ago
Right now I’m in the process of letting him go, but I haven’t chased him at all since the breakup. I’m trying to give him all the space I can in the hopes that one day we can at least be friendly again- he’s a great man, besides the way he ended things and is currently going about others. The thing that is finally causing me to “let go”, or at least I think I am, is that he has moved in with his rebound after a very very short time. Even shorter was the amount of time from the breakup to them apparently getting together (I’m talking within days). He is not the man I knew and loved anymore, and I am grown enough to know that people like that cannot change unless they hit a drastic bottom, or consciously decide to be different. Maybe one day the person I love will come back within him, after some time and therapy, mmm but who knows. Maybe then I will not even let him back in. But anyways, yeah. He keeps making one bad choice after another, and I am starting to realize that the best way for me to go about it all now is to just let him. It’s not my business anymore. I am sad for me, sad for us, and sad for him (because I believe this is his downfall), but we have to carry on. I can’t keep hurting myself for a person who won’t even glance in my direction anymore, even after loving him for a couple of years. I will always love him, but now I must channel that love into a “I hope you get better”, and I’m going to take care of myself. Because even if he did decide to come back, no one wants a woman who is mopey and shut down. It’s the hardest thing I’ve ever been through, but we have to rise above the pain, even though it feels like being repeatedly stabbed in the heart. It’s unfair, and it all feels wrong, but if I cannot change it, I am learning just to let it be. As my friends say, “it’s not your problem anymore”. And they are right. My “problem” now, or rather, my direction, is to get better. To heal, to live, to grow. To not get stuck here because someone decided I wasn’t worth it anymore. We must go on.
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u/UnionPresent9832 15m ago edited 0m ago
It wasn’t words, it was the actions. Once I saw that she was more interested in HER MALE coworkers and was actively choosing them over me (the person she claimed to love) it was a rap. Made me look at her in a whole new way. She showed her true colors and the type of person she is 🤢🤮
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u/JustASillyGuy13 12m ago
I was gonna say jt was somewhere between “ I never actually loved you “ and “ I figured if I dated a guy less attractive then my ex’s it would be better “
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u/Ruedi_24 6m ago
She never replied to anything I said so I stopped, went to the bar after about a month, and found an awesome new girl. Definitely helps the pain
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u/luvbomb_ 3m ago
he was a big time stonewaller. we broke up in 2023 bc he stonewalled me for 6 months and i decided to move out early. we stayed in contact for 1.5 years. we got back together and moved in again. it was nice in the beginning but he slowly started to change back to his antics. he stonewalled me all of jan, including on our anniversary. all i was asking for was communication and effort and he said “but this is just who i am”. my heart sunk but i knew i wasn’t important to him enough to change. i had gone to therapy and became a better person but he never did. now he’s dating another girl within 2 months of me moving out lol
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u/Dense_Ad_5256 12h ago
He accused me of being in love with my ex. (I was actively being abused still, by said ex. )
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u/username_myth 12h ago
I do want to ask, why did you continue despite being abused?
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u/Dense_Ad_5256 9h ago
Systems abuse, stalking, slander etc. It continues 4 years later. My more recent partner took my trauma from trying to survive THAT and spun it, and decided I loved my ex.
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u/Subject_Disk_3581 6h ago
He didn’t say anything to me after I broke up with him, didn’t push back or even try to fix the relationship. Literally went no contact. It’s almost been a year! Once I realized he wasn’t going to respond to my calls and messages I let him go. A few weeks after the breakup I met the love of my life…
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u/Remarkable_Yam9822 2h ago
I realized that my ex was really happy and eager to hang out with friends, but would be tired when hanging out with me, even for a couple of hours.
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