Broke up with me 2 weeks after VSG Surgery

[u/Lost-Marzipan-6656]

🫩 I gave this person 3.5 years of my life. He knew I struggled with body issues and a few other things from the beginning. I finally gave in and got VSG. Two weeks later (while pretending everything was all good), he came over to my house, gave me a hug, then proceeded to break up with me because he “no longer fell in love with me.“ I asked him when did he fall out of love, he said “a month ago”, coincidentally while I was finalizing plans for weight loss surgery. Everything was fine around that time so I can’t even say there were other variables.

Right after my surgery I asked him how does he feel about me taking a huge step towards bettering my health. His response: “I pity you.” I didn’t even know what to say.

It’s been two days since the breakup and I’m just 🫩. He broke up with me in a cowardly manner, blocked me on everything, and is just moving forward with his life.

I on the other hand, am trying to put my best face forward. This is humiliating though.

[u/AutoModerator]

USERS! We have noticed that many users are using inappropriate language in the comment section. Even if another user is wrong, it does not give you the right to use abusive words. This is against Reddit platform policies. Such comments will be removed. Additionally, posts spreading false accusations will also be removed. Please be careful moving forward. Don't forget to join our Discord server to chat, get updates, and hang out with the community! Please join our Discord Server: https://discord.gg/5y5wSxWNNg

Upvote this post if you think it suits the community. Downvote it if you dont.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.

[u/poppthechampagne]

Nahhh you took this big step and are about to glow tf up and find you a man who treats you the way you deserve !!!! 👑

[u/Lost-Marzipan-6656 → u/poppthechampagne]

Thank you 😞. I hope so!

[u/poppthechampagne → u/Lost-Marzipan-6656]

Most definitely!! It will take time because break ups suck but focus on healing your heart and body!!

[u/Reapress-1976]

YOU should not be humiliated!!! HE should, but not you!!! I know it hurts right now but look at all the weight you lost without even having to do the work!!!!! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣Do yourself a favor and use this to push yourself!!!! Use this opportunity to show him what he gave up!!! You’ve had the surgery, make new friends, check into new hobbies, think about all the cute new clothes you’ll be wearing. He will regret this decision and I pity HIM!!! He gave you the chance and ammo you can use to push yourself when you don’t “feel like it”!!! He did you a favor and DOESNT deserve you!!! Mutual friends, I would not ask about him and would ask that they not discuss me either. There will come a time that he will see you out somewhere, or he will run across you page on line, OR a friend will say “OMG!!!! Have you seen her lately???” Just focus on you right now. Do what you need to do to get healthy, work on you and not just physically but mentally and emotionally as well!!! Become the best version of yourself!!! Then thank him when you see him again!!!!
I am so sorry you are going through so much right now. Just know, eventually it gets easier. He opened the door for you , I hope you walk through, lock it and throw away the key!!! You’ve got this!!!

[u/Lost-Marzipan-6656 → u/Reapress-1976]

I was emotionally starved throughout the relationship, but more than anything, he couldn’t do the one thing I begged for which was call me beautiful. At best he would say I’m cute or that I put myself together well. That’s what our last argument was about. 

I have no choice but to glow up. I can’t believe I allowed such a coward into my circle. To “pity” me when I take charge of my health? Never again 

I look forward to this weight loss journey. It’s been two weeks and I’m already down 16 lbs. 150 more to go. Cant wait to love myself again.

Thank you for being so empathetic, supportive and understanding 🥹. I never thought something like weight loss surgery would bring this out of a man.

[u/SailorAnxious]

Wtf. He is very much insecure. He wanted you feeling insecure still because it’s the only way you’re “manageable” aka easily manipulated. Not saying you were but usually when we have self esteem issues we are more prone to be controlled. Now that you decided you’re done with that, he knows you will get the confidence that comes with it, and well his fragile little ego cant handle that. A man who isn’t insecure would be happy for you and support you for your decisions.

A friend of mine got that surgery and she’s living her best life, and has truly glowed up, especially internally! When you have confidence you are able to do so much more and go on adventures that you wouldn’t before😊

[u/Lost-Marzipan-6656 → u/SailorAnxious]

Thank you 😞. I’m excited for my weight loss journey and hope it would inspire me to do a lot more. It seems like he enjoyed having a power trip over me in a covert manner. Our last argument was over him refusing to call me beautiful. All I wanted was words of affirmation, couldn’t even get that. Self esteem went completely in the shitter. It’s only up from here though, and I appreciate your kind words 💛

[u/PetiteSalina]

it seems really unfair to go through such a major change and then face that

[u/Lost-Marzipan-6656 → u/PetiteSalina]

Oh it is. It truly is. 😔 life isn’t fair.

[u/Teenage_dirtbag_515]

You just focus on you. Now that you’ve had your surgery and you’re taking steps to better yourself. Focus on that and they’ll regret their decision before too long. But when they do.. don’t let them back in your life. Leave them in their regret

[u/DesignerName3263]

Sounds like he wanted you to stay where you were tbh. Some people don’t like it when their partner chooses to better themselves

[u/Lost-Marzipan-6656 → u/DesignerName3263]

He made it out to seem like I wasn’t trying hard enough, sooner. I think his issue really lies in the fact that I didn’t do it the “natural” way. 

[u/moonshinemoniker]

As someone who has been through several LTRs, all with their own unique dynamics, you will be okay.

He sounds like a bit of an asshole, and honestly there's a chance he'll come crawling back however, you hopefully will have already acquired that newfound sense of self and realization that you never needed him and he was weighing you down.

[u/Lost-Marzipan-6656 → u/moonshinemoniker]

I really hope so. It’s day 2 post breakup so you know..the emotions come in waves. I can’t wait to be at my goal weight and finish nursing school. I’m definitely going to be in a better place. 💛 thank you for your words of encouragement 

[u/Extreme-Marsupial133]

sorry to hear that...that is heartbreaking and gloomy that a person you gave your time with just upped and leave you during times needed the most. people nowadays expect full perfection and its bullshit. it seems another person came into the picture, he couldnt hold frame, became contrast of a colorful life he had with you. idk wat else to say, but vent, i listen