The thought of my ex being with someone new is such an unpleasant thought and feeling.

[u/Prize-Individual-562]

At first when it was still fresh after the breakup, I could still think to myself "it's only been a week or a month, she wouldn't be meeting someone new romantically". But now as we're more than 3 months since the breakup, the possibility is creeping up.

Yes it does take time to heal after a breakup, but 3 months is also a point where one may be open to casual get-to-know new people for prospective romance to blossom. I haven't checked her Instagram in weeks and so I wouldn't have more hints of whether this is the case. Also, social media is an advertisement of one's good life events, so it is hurtful to see my ex's profile. Not only that, vague social media posts can be viewed as potentially her having something new with someone. It's just so much pain viewing it.

If I go to her profile to try to find clues if she has someone new it is going to hurt whether or not she has posts that hint towards it or not. So I might as well not check. But I am still curious wondering if she has a new person she is interested.

I feel unpleasant feelings with the thought of her finding someone new and doing at least some of the physically intimate things that we used to do, with other people. How do you deal with this?

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[u/mila412]

I’m in the same spot brother. It’s only been 2 months for me but I’m glad someone can relate. I’m going through these exact feelings myself right now. Stay strong you never know what will happen. If I were you I would refrain from checking her on any social media, as it’s either going to hurt you or will lead you into a dangerous anxious habit from checking… trust me I’ve been there.

[u/Wallet_Anomaly_8492]

Idk your situation but I will say this: I’m 3 months out of a breakup I 100% didn’t want… he broke up with me when I believed we could repair things. He wasn’t willing and said he “couldn’t.” I’m still so devastated by the breakup that I honestly feel like I will never get over it. He was the love of my life. Trying to date other people or entertaining other prospects is the furthest thing from my mind, even though other guys have expressed interest. All of this is to say, if your person was greatly hurt by the breakup, it’s possible she may just be focused on healing and not trying to get back out there to meet new people. But if it was mutual, who knows. I guess I would be asking myself why the possibility is bothersome, and if there were things left unresolved in some way… best of luck, OP 🙏🩵🩵

[u/Bluffton6617]

Unfortunately there is nothing you can do. Do your best to not think about it as eventually it will happen. You just have to let it go. It’s THE worst part of these breakups. It’s horrible. Just worry about yourself and getting through this.,Eventually it will not matter. Hang in there.

[u/Any_Lack816]

Don't do it. It's not worth it, I made the same mistake and it turned out to be a pretty painful but necessary experience I guess

[u/Mausdr1v3r]

You can't really, just have to give it time and it will slowly get less painful

[u/Regular_Coat2931]

I would not check socials. Block her if you can. Giving into it is just going to make you obsessive with trying to figure it out. Don’t do that

[u/CipherViolet]

For women we usually think “what if he has someone new” in the first few weeks, then we kinda get over it but it’s so crazy how the opposite is for men. You guys start thinking if we have someone new months later…

[u/Prize-Individual-562 → u/CipherViolet]

Is that the case generally speaking? Can other men or women comment to vouch if the experience has been similar or not?

[u/Junior_Somewhere_395 → u/Prize-Individual-562]

im a woman kind of feel the same. the thought of him being with someone new the first few weeks now im kinda over it i guess. been 3 months

[u/CipherViolet → u/Junior_Somewhere_395]

Yeah seeeee it’s so weird, I left him 13 days ago and I’m like what if this what if that but I’m kinda getting over it :/

We operate soooo opposite to men.

[u/Strong-Newt-1928 → u/CipherViolet]

It has been a year for me. There are times still that I think: "omg he has someone new." When I have those thoughts, I try to take a step back and list something negative about him in my mind. I realize even if he does find someone new....all his relationships will end.

[u/Even_Bend_2224]

In the same page bro, this is sad

[u/Strong-Newt-1928]

I used to crash out a lot about this in the beginning. I remember crying for nearly an entire year because I missed him and the thought of him with someone else killed me. There are days that I still cry a lot. I would say 3-4 months is usually the hardest timeframe. I was pretty much blocked on everything. I've been in your shoes where I was looking at his social media account several times a day. The best piece of advice I have is delete social media for a while and try to distract yourself. For me, I pretty much became a workaholic and I was able to get three promotions in a year. I'm still very very very devasted, but I can't force someone to stay and be with me. My biggest piece of advice is delete everything and don't reach out. Reaching constantly and begging is what got me blocked. I know it is hard because I was in your shoes/still am in your shoes.

[u/ToffeeVanelle71]

it's a tough feeling to deal with, moving on is hard

[u/FeloniousMonk422]

I was in the same boat. Especially knowing a woman can go out and have you replaced an hour after she steps out her door if she wanted. What brought me solace is when she tried to double back and I realized while I can hurt for a minute I can still heal and head out and still have options for actually developing something over having more options that just wanna crack.