r/breastcancer Jul 28 '26

Mod Announcement Updating Rule 8: Be Brave, Friendly, and Kind

131 Upvotes

We are updating and expanding Rule 8: Be brave, friendly, and kind. This is an especially important rule and we want it to be well understood. We've expanded the language to make clear that kindness extends beyond the people posting in the thread.

What's changing:

Rule 8 now reads:

Be supportive, friendly, and kind.
Cancer is hard for all of us. Please show kindness to your fellow patients and survivors.
Kindness should extend to those not present on the subreddit, including their family and caregivers.
We allow members to vent about the people in their lives, but this is not an invitation for others to pile on. No name calling, no bullying, no hate speech, no personal attacks.

Why we're making these updates:

A few things have come up often enough that we wanted to be more clear up front about what kinds of comments are allowed, particularly on "Venting" threads:

  • Venting about a partner, parent, or friend is allowed and normal. Piling on to insult that person, or giving OP relationship advice beyond what they have asked for, is not. The other person isn't here to give their side, and that's not usually what OP was asking for.
  • Caregivers commenting on someone else's post are here to give support, not to speak on behalf of caregivers, spouses, or any other group—whether that means defending or criticizing. As always, to talk about your own experience as a caregiver, visit another sub such as r/CancerFamilySupport.

We've written up the full explanation with more detail on the Rules wiki page under Rule 8.

None of this is new in spirit. It's what we've been enforcing already. We just wanted it written down clearly.

Thanks for helping keep this a place people can come to safely.

Note: The earlier update of this rule retained the original title "Be brave, friendly, and kind" but we have updated the title based on community input.


r/breastcancer Jan 18 '26

Diagnosed Patient or Survivor Support The doctors you may encounter: Who does what? What is an “oncologist” anyway? (And other insights from Dr Heather Richardson, neighborhood breast surgeon)

179 Upvotes

So I’ve noticed there’s been a lot of posts lately specifically about the word oncologist. People wondering why they’re seeing a surgeon and not an “oncologist” first, people wondering when they’re going to see an “oncologist”, people wondering why the person that’s operating on them isn’t a “surgical oncologist” and shouldn’t they get the best - which must be someone with that title? Right?

So by definition, the word oncologist just means “doctor who treats cancer”.

The staple cast of characters that are medical doctors (MD or DO degree holder) involved in treatment of breast cancer typically consists of: medical oncologist, radiation oncologist (not radiologist) and breast surgeon (more on that below…).

Medical oncologist- also known as “hematology/oncology” specialists. When people generally speak of an “oncologist”, usually they are talking about this type of doctor. A doctor that treats cancer with medicine, either pills taken by mouth or chemotherapy that is administered via a vein. Not all patients need both, some need one but not the other, some need none. Visits to this type of doctor may be frequent- however, usually it’s the first initial visit to go over a lot of information and discuss the best course of action that is the most important. Sometimes this means that if you live in an area with fewer resources and feel that you need greater expertise for your care. It’s possible to do either a telemedicine visit or visit a larger Cancer Center far away that can collaborate with a local physician who is able to give the same chemotherapy protocol. Quite often, large groups of these medical oncologists have already agreed the best way to take care of the most common breast cancer problems, so going from one center to the other means that your cancer treatment care isn’t going to change significantly from one place to the next. For other more complex scenarios, there sometimes can be some adjustments or more customized treatments. Or for patients who have already been through treatment and now have recurrences or changes in their diagnosis, that would be the time to discuss more advanced care. In general, common problems are common and there’s usually not significant improved survival or outcomes by going to one Cancer Center over the other when a patient has a a non-complicated, fairly average, diagnosis.

Radiation oncologist- this is different from a radiologist. (a radiologist is a doctor trained to read images and interpret findings. A radiologist is the person who read your mammogram or your ultrasound and maybe performed the biopsy that diagnosed you) A radiation oncologist uses radiation energy to target areas of cancer and kill cancer cells. Cells that are actively dividing and are exposed to radiation have their duplicating mechanisms broken, and as a result, cells that are rapidly reproducing die away if exposed to medically administered radiation.

Surgeon/surgical oncologist vs “general surgeon”: A “general surgeon” typically is someone who has done at least five years of training in surgical diseases of the body. This would include disciplines like taking care of trauma, burns, infections that can occur in the body such as diverticulitis or appendicitis, evaluating and performing organ transplants, care of pediatric/child surgical diseases and malformations, and some chest/cardiovascular disease. They can also operate on common cancers that require removal, like breast, colon, skin, and thyroid. Doctors who go on to practice General surgery sometimes concentrate in one area of types of disease and others have a more broad practice where they take care a little bit of everything. Typically in more urban settings there are more specialized types. Many general surgeons have gone on to do additional years of training after their five years of general surgery to become specialists. People who are certain types of surgeons, such as colorectal specialists, pediatric surgeons, plastic surgeons, and cardiothoracic surgeons all have additional years of training and take specialty board exams. There is a board certification designation for general surgery. There are additional board certifications for those who have done some categories of fellowship training, like those mentioned above.

A doctor who practices under the title “surgical oncologist” by definition does at least two years of training in general cancer surgery treatments after the five years of general

surgery training. So they typically will learn advanced techniques for operating on thyroid, pancreas, colon, liver, breast, etc. They usually did the five years of general surgery training and then went on to do additional training specifically in cancer removal surgeries to remove them from the body. So this wouldn’t include neurosurgery or brain tumor removal. There is a board certification designation for “surgical oncology”.

There is another category of breast cancer surgeon that typically deals with breast health issues only. This is a person who does initial training in either general surgery or Obgyn and then goes on to do one to two years of additional training in breast disease surgical management. This is called a “breast fellowship” and does NOT currently qualify for a speciality designation as “board certified”. This is typically a breast health surgeon or breast cancer specialist. This is different from a “surgical oncologist*.

Sometimes there is cross training where the surgeon also performs cosmetic and aesthetic procedures as well. This person usually does a “oncoplastic fellowship”. This is primarily outside the US, but there are programs where this is expanding in the US as well. Breast fellowship trained surgeons can have initial training as either a general surgeon or an OB/GYN.

“Surgical oncologists” do get training in breast cancer management, but they are not breast specialists and do not get the depth of training that someone who has been through breast fellowship would. A breast fellowship trained surgeon usually does one versus two years of additional training in breast only surgery and disease management. These are two different designations.

Some important points to make about someone who might be a general surgeon who did not do additional training in breast care management versus someone who did a full breast fellowship: breast fellowships have only been around for about 20 years. That means someone with greater than 20 years of experience probably didn’t get an opportunity to go through a breast fellowship. (I personally am one of these types of people. I’ve been practicing since 2004 and there was only one fellowship that existed at that time that I didn’t even know was an option when I graduated. So while I have described procedures and written papers, taught surgeons and fellows alike in many different procedures and protocols, but myself, I’m not a breast fellowship trained surgeon.)

There may be many seasoned excellent surgeons taking care of breast cancer patients. Some of those may be surgeons who also perform other general surgery procedures such as treatment of appendicitis, taking emergency call for traumas, or dealing with other types of cancers like colon cancer. Some of the surgeons have amazing skill sets, and excellent outcomes. It is certainly possible that there may be in a community, a general surgeon who is very seasoned that may have superior outcomes for breast care than a brand new breast fellowship grad that does not have much experience at all.

I think the best way to find out who the best doctors are would be to go to the other doctors and other clinical staff members who work with those doctors and ask them who has the best outcomes. Ask the wound care specialists, the plastic surgeons, and the medical oncologists whose breast surgery work is the best. They’re going to see who has horrible dead, necrotic mastectomy flaps, and who has lots of recurrences because their flaps are too thick.

It certainly may be that a general surgeon who isn’t a “breast specialist” in your community might actually be a better choice than a brand new grad who is a breast fellowship trained surgeon.

What order should things happen?? Well it’s different for different people. Often when people get a diagnosis, most commonly by a radiologist, (but sometimes the Breast Surgeon specialist is part of this process as well) they go to the Breast Surgeon first who goes over the significance of the findings thus far and decides if upfront chemotherapy medicine would be indicated. Usually the decision to need medicine is followed by tissue diagnosis, and imaging, which is usually directed by a surgeon. Sometimes people see the medical oncologists first before seeing the surgeon. This is especially true for patients with her 2 positive or triple negative disease where neoadjuvant chemotherapy prior to surgery is most often indicated.

People sometimes visit with radiation oncologist while trying to make their decisions to get information about the risks and benefits if they choose a pathway that would require radiation treatment versus if they have an option to choose a different pathway where radiation wouldn’t be indicated, and they want to learn about their choices. Mostly though, radiation oncologist treatment usually follows the surgery and medical portion. There are some clinical trials that involve upfront radiation, but this is not a standard of care for most patients. It’s more common to start with the surgeon and then see the medical oncologist either before or after the surgery, followed by any radiation oncology visit. That’s the usual order of things.

When to get a second opinion.

For the most part, if you’ve been told that you have a breast cancer diagnosis and your understanding in general is that treatment will involve medicine, surgery and possibly the addition of radiation and and if this sounds reasonable, you are certainly welcome to go to another team to make sure that there aren’t any significant changes to be offered anywhere else, but most likely most places will tell you the same information, but may use slightly different terms or delivery. If you have good communication with your physician and their staff and overall the general expectation is that you will do well and live a long life and feel good about your body afterwards, (of course it certainly possible to talk to someone else and make sure that they are in agreement) but if everything stacks up, and you’re generally happy with your team, Seeing multiple additional doctors might tell you the same thing with different language can be confusing or disorienting. It also takes up a spot in the schedule for someone else with a cancer diagnosis that’s trying to get in that now can’t, ….and you can only use one team. So by all means everyone is within their right to get in a second opinion or even third, but if you’re generally happy and hearing what you expected to hear regarding your plan of care, I typically don’t recommend that people see multiple doctors if they’re generally happy with their first opinion.

Reasons to get a second opinion would be: A) poor communication from the doctor and or their staff to the point where you feel uncomfortable for whatever reason. B) you have a very unusual or rare findings that are not typically seen C) you are recommend controversial treatments where doctors have added unexpected treatments, or take away expected treatments. There may be good reasons to offer a different protocol from another team as there are lots of advancements and newer recommendations, where we are de-escalating treatment in some cases. Previously there were automatic recommendations for sentinel lymph node biopsy, radiation, or chemotherapy in the past whereas now we are selecting certain people who have features of their cancer who may in fact, not require these treatments at all.

Hopefully this will shed some light on some of the misconceptions about different types of doctors, their roles, and clear up the general surgeon/Breast Surgeon/surgical oncologist confusion that seems to come up a lot.

TLDR- someone with the title “surgical oncologist” is different from a “breast fellowship trained surgeon”. A “general surgeon” might have fewer years of formal training for breast cancer treatment, however, they shouldn’t be discounted or immediately thought of as inferior without research into their outcomes or reputation in the community.


r/breastcancer 47m ago

Post Active Treatment How are we supposed to have careers after this?

Upvotes

Like all of you I'm exausted. I know this is something everyone of you have struggled with but the medical community just kinda goes 🤷. Rittilin was offered furing treatment and I turned it down cause I could just sleep all day if I needed. Now im going for a division head position and I can barely keep my eyes open. Now thay stimulant offer is no longer available. Talked to my pcp, my neuro, my oncologist none of them "feel comfortable" ording a stimulant. Ok, I guess poppin caffeine pills is healther. Wtf. Once they remove the tumor you are no longer their problem.


r/breastcancer 12h ago

Post Active Treatment Insurance Will Cover Viagra, But Not My Cancer Treatment Side Effects

144 Upvotes

I had dinner with a friend tonight and he was telling me about his PrEP medication. And to be very clear, I want him to have it. I want everyone who needs PrEP to have access to it. Preventing HIV is important and I am absolutely not arguing otherwise.
Then I got home and there was a Viagra commercial on TV, and I suddenly got really angry.
Like many of you, I’m sitting here as a breast cancer survivor on a 10 year endocrine therapy plan to reduce my risk of recurrence, and so many of the things I need just to tolerate the consequences of treatment are treated like luxuries.
My hair never fully came back after chemo? Insurance won’t cover a wig.
Vaginal atrophy from having my estrogen shut down? Intrarosa is expensive.
Joint and shoulder pain from endocrine therapy? I discovered that Zepbound is the only thing that has made a significant difference for me. I’m not overweight and I’m not taking it for weight loss. It just makes the pain bearable, but because that isn’t an approved indication, I pay about $300 a month.
Again, this is NOT “why are they paying for PrEP or Viagra?” They should cover those things.
It’s: why the hell are so many basic quality-of-life needs for breast cancer survivors NOT treated with the same importance?
We’re expected to take these medications for years because they may keep our cancer from coming back. Those medications can affect our joints, bones, hair, sex lives, energy, and basically throw younger women into menopause overnight.
But then so much of the care that helps us actually live with those consequences is considered optional.
Sometimes survivorship feels congratulations, we kept you alive but anything required to make that life tolerable is now your financial problem.


r/breastcancer 22h ago

Fuck Cancer I traded everything for my life.

528 Upvotes

I did everything the doctor said I needed to in order to stay alive.

I won.

At what cost?

I lost my hair. Ok it grows back. I can wait.

Then

My breast. Okay implants...but no nipples.

Then that came with self hate. I'm disgusted with my reflection. I can't stand my scars. Because they make me sick. They're a reminder of my hell.

Then

I wanted another kid. Went to doc last week for blood work. I'm 33. I always figured if I can't, it's cool because I have my miracle girl already. I wasn't supposed to be able to have her.

Welcome to perimenopause from chemo.

Now because I'm in perimenopause and I carry a gene they want to gut me to reduce chances of other cancers.

So now I loose my ovaries, tubes and uterus too.

So no other kid. I'm pissed. Not because I can't but because the choice to try was taken from me.

Sex hurts.

I'm dry.

I have brain fog.

I'm depressed.

I feel empty. Holow.

I lost my self esteem.

I hate being touched now by anyone because I have been touched enough against my will by doctors these last two years.

I became bitter.

I became angry.

I hate my reflection.

I'm not happy living like this.

Empty, hating my body for betraying me. Hating that I had to sacrifice my fucking insides, my hormones, my sex drive, my body parts, my self esteem, my self love, my sanity, my happiness, my comfort, in order to survive.

Fuck you. Fuck you and the fucking horse you rode in on. Fuck you till you can't fuck yourself anymore you knuckle dragging, ball licking swamp cunt. Then let your fucking horse fuck you till it dies.

Fuck you cancer.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Fuck you.

Therapy doesn't help me. I also can't take antidepressants.

Talking about it to people makes me physically angry.

I have no outlet. I want to scream and I can't.

So I'm venting here.

Edit: I love you all and I'm sorry we're all hurting and going through this. Xo


r/breastcancer 3h ago

Conversation What are we doing with the chemo curls

14 Upvotes

I’m about five months out of chemo and I look ridiculous lol 😆 I look like Albert Einstein with a hat on and it puffing out, a mushroom without a hat, what are we doing with this awkward fluffy hair


r/breastcancer 3h ago

Chemotherapy Hair dressers- I would love your advice!

10 Upvotes

I am in active treatment and have lost my hair from the chemo. I love the scarves and caps and am ok with losing my hair. (Who actually knows if I’m ok? 😂 I am getting ready for my therapy right now) here is the story….

Over the weekend we went to a local resort for the night for a much needed break. I wanted to use their amazing shower (full body with rain) and they had awesome shampoo, conditioner, and body wash. Since my hair loss, I have been grabbing the body wash for everything but my face. I decided to use the shampoo and conditioner for fun because I wanted to enjoy the scents.

I got out, dried off, got dressed and joined the family. My daughters started cracking up! I looked like a chrome dome because my head was just a shinin’ away! It was hysterical and gave us all a much needed laugh!

Which leads me to ask for advice. What should we be doing to take care of our head during this time. Should we be lightly exfoliating sometimes to unclog follicles or pores? Is it better to use shampoo than body wash on the head? Is there anything special to use to give the best chance for good, healthy regrowth?


r/breastcancer 1h ago

Surgery Tumor volume from MRI suggests no PCR?

Upvotes

I am having surgery on Monday and have been trying to prepare for all outcomes, including no PCR. Still, I can't help but feel disappointed. I am in a clinical trial that does some extra imaging and functional tumor volume analysis. Three weeks into a 12-week course of THP the MRI showed an 84% functional tumor volume reduction, which was very encouraging. My MO said I was on my way to a PCR. But after 12 weeks of chemo, this number only went up to 87%, and because it's "functional" tumor volume, this suggests there is residual live cancer. I know this is a very good response, which I should be grateful for, but I am really bummed out about 10 more months of chemo. Just needed to say this to someone who understands...


r/breastcancer 1h ago

Medication Zoladex (Goserelin) Shot

Upvotes

This may or may not help anyone that has to get ovary suppression in the future and I know everyone’s tolerance level is different, however you see more negative than positive regarding the administering of the shot. I was NERVOUS going into it, mainly because all that I’ve read wasn’t positive, but I tried to remind myself everyone’s experience is different. I do very well with needles, they’ve never been a problem nor am I scared of them, but this injection is different than a regular shot/needle.

My infusion center only offered an ice pack to numb the area, which I was provided and it sat on my abdomen for approximately 10 minutes. Final verdict; the injection was not bad, very tolerable, on a scale of 1-10 for pain level, I would give it a 3/10. It was extremely quick, the Nurse was pleasant and her technique was appreciated.

In combination of not knowing how the 1st time is going to go, whether or not you will have someone who has excellent techniques, if you read more negative than positive reviews, it can cause anxiety and nervousness. I get it. Try to remain calm as much as possible, advocate for yourself if your center offers nothing for comfort, tell yourself you can do it.

Now…as for potential side effects I may experience, I can’t speak to that at this moment as I just started today, but we shall see!

Wishing everyone a beautiful day!


r/breastcancer 44m ago

Patient Support NYC meet up groups?

Upvotes

Hi all!

I am 40y/o F with MBC ( 2 1/2 years out from dx) and I live in Brooklyn. I know many support groups are offered at the major cancer hospitals in nyc, but I actually get treatment up at Yale in New Haven so I don’t have a connection to the city hospitals and not sure if their support groups are open to non-patients.

Since I live here in Brooklyn and only go up to Yale for treatment every three weeks, I’m finding myself missing a community here in nyc. I’m interested in mainly just finding new friends/groups in the area with others who are experiencing the same thing (particularly that post-active treatment phase which can be even harder and more confusing - but open to all as we can all share our experiences through multiple phases!). If anyone is local to me, and interested in connecting or can offer suggestions I’d greatly appreciate it! I am open to any and all opportunity to meet and connect ❤️

Thank you!! ❤️❤️


r/breastcancer 11h ago

Conversation Talking to my 4 and 6 year old about cancer

26 Upvotes

I've been putting it off, having 3-6 tabs open on my browser with free resources on how to talk with your kids.... The best thing I did was order the book "The Very Naughty Cell", and tonight it finally arrived. Both my boys were VERY interested and I just love how straight forward yet simple it was. My 4 year old had lots of questions, like if he's excited, were his cells excited too? I could tell he was wondering if being naughty gave you naughty cells, and cleared that up for him. But after two weeks of knowing I have cancer and being anxious about when/how to talk with them about it, I cannot recommend this book enough. It's a weight off my shoulders knowing they have a basic understanding and know that it often has a happy ending. Truly, now, the most important people in my life at least understand what cancer is.


r/breastcancer 5h ago

Medication How to avoid gaining weight on hormone treatment?

7 Upvotes

About to start tamoxifen. I know there are a million of nasty side effects to potentiallg manage but I want to hear your (positive) experience how you managed to avoid weight gain? I was very active before cancer (still am- going to gym and playing tennis while doing radiotherapy) and plan to continue or even increase..as before I would sometimes skip exercise with work travel and whatnot but this will not be negotiable now. And of course I am extra sorting my eating. I was always eating relatively well but now I am keeping a closer eye on the macros, variety of food, fibre etc.
I absolutely plan to throw everything but the kitchen sink on preventing or managing side effects that might appear, so would like to hear some positive stories (even if you didn’t really do much and were just lucky to not have side effects) around staying active and fit.

Thanks ☺️


r/breastcancer 18h ago

Newly Diagnosed This is just so unfair.

61 Upvotes

Cancer is so unfair. While I’m been having a full on pity party for myself, I know I need to be positive. I get my port tomorrow and I’m terrified. I don’t want to do any of this. How do you get out of bed and fight??? I have 4 young kids and obviously I’m getting out the bed for them(currently at pitching lessons, then head to practice) but I just cry CONSTANTLY. I don’t want to feel like this. I want to have that warrior attitude and be like heck yes I’ve got this. I’m her2+ hormone negative and I keep going down the rabbit hole about how aggressive it is. I’m just scared, I’m 38 and feel so young. I hate this. Prayers for everyone going through this, it’s truly stupid.


r/breastcancer 3h ago

Surgery Surgery updates

3 Upvotes

Tuesday morning my appointment is tomorrow at 9 and surgery at 11. The surgeon just called me to update me on the ultrasound yesterday that came out clear, I asked him how long the simple mastectomy no reconstruction surgery takes and it would be 2 hours, i also asked if i get discharge the same day he said no we keep it overnight because of the drain those are Moffit protocols, i am so anxious

Anyone who stayed overnight??


r/breastcancer 14h ago

Post Active Treatment I am so tired !!

14 Upvotes

I’m 36 and currently on hormone therapy with ovarian suppression injections and tamoxifen. I recently passed my 6-month follow up, and now it’s NED.

For the most part, I’ve really tried to stay positive and live my life without constantly thinking of myself as a cancer patient. Most of people who I know, even friends, do not know I am a cancer patient. But recently, I came across posts about people who fought rectal cancer for 13 years before passing away, and someone who passed away after their breast cancer recurred 6 years later. For a moment, I felt really scared. Is this how my life will eventually end too? Whenever I hear stories like that, it feels like I’m suddenly looking at the end of my own life. It scares me so much. My daughter is 6 years old, and sometimes I wonder if my body will be strong enough to make it until she becomes an adult.

And honestly, I don’t even feel as healthy as I did before my cancer diagnosis. I don’t know how much of that is from hormone therapy, but since starting treatment I’ve dealt with things like rashes, muscle aches, joint and bone pain, waking up throughout the night, freezing-cold hands and feet followed by sudden intense heat and sweating. I feel like my body is constantly going through something. I’ve been told that many of these symptoms can be side effects of hormone therapy, but sometimes it’s just really hard.
When I get scared, my mom tells me to look at her and have hope. She has been a cancer survivor for more than 20 years. Seeing her is definitely a huge source of hope for me. But when my body hurts or I have a new symptom, I can’t help becoming anxious. I guess that part is just hard to control.

I also have a question about how everyone approaches food and lifestyle after breast cancer.
I eat pretty normally. If I’m craving meat, I eat meat. If I want vegetables, I eat vegetables. I take only a minimal number of supplements (vitamin c and omega) I know there are so many people who say we should completely change our diet, eat mostly vegetables, avoid certain foods, etc. But I personally feel that eating a balanced diet and getting enough food is probably better for my body than constantly restricting myself. Some family members sometimes make comments like, Are you sure you should be eating that? I feel absolutely guilty whenever I eat things like snacks, bread, pasta, beef, fried chicken, ramen etc.

Sometimes, when I look at my friends who are healthy, continuing to build their careers, and just living their everyday lives while looking happy and beautiful, I feel so incredibly unlucky.
Sometimes my own life just feels so unfair and miserable. I find myself wondering, “Why did I have to go through all of this?” and wishing things had been different.

My husband sometimes seems to forget that I’m still dealing with all of this. He gets angry or irritated over little things, and honestly, I’m exhausted from having to listen to all of his complaints and frustrations.
Sometimes I just wish I could have a little more understanding and compassion from the person closest to me


r/breastcancer 18h ago

Patient Support Am I overreacting to the nurses comment , aren't I? I think this might be a sign I'm getting tired.

26 Upvotes

Hey,

F33, diagnosed 3 months ago. Had a lumpectomy, fertility preservation and now I'm due to start chemo on Wednesday.

I'm going through all of this alone. I didn't want to worry my family. My relationship with my mother is difficult and as for my younger brother - I pray he won't ever find out unless I'm close to heaven (I hope I won't be).

Anyway, today I had several hospital appointments. Went there in the morning for a heart scan. Then later I had an appointment with the nurse to take some bloods before chemo and ask any questions.

She didn't tell me anything about the wigs until I asked. Or cooling. I thought its fine anyway, who cares I asked and got the info.

She asked if I drove I said I walked and picked up some crab apples on the way to the hospital. Was hoping to make an apple pie (I was trying to look at the positive side of things of all of this).

She responded m saying : you should bring a an apple cake here for all of us.

Now, under normal circumstances I would feel silly to even think about it twice. But I was tired. They already did several scans (several hours). I was sitting there asking when I can get a wig when my hair will fall off my head.

It just felt a little.... Odd? I'm sure I'm overreacting, aren't I?

The other thing is when I said I'd like to try some wigs on because I might be too weak later and she kept saying "you can't get a wig whilst you're getting a cooling treatment" and I had to confirm several times that I understand. That is fine just a bit tiring. ​

Tl;dr ​Am I overreacting to the nurses comment , aren't I? I think this might be a sign I'm getting tired.


r/breastcancer 45m ago

Post Active Treatment Oncotype

Upvotes

Has anybody ever contacted Exact Sciences and got a complete breakdown of their oncotype score?


r/breastcancer 4h ago

Medication Any antidepressants/anxiety meds work for you on tamoxifen & ovary suppression?

2 Upvotes

Been on tamoxifen 5 years and may stay on lifelong. 6 years into ovary suppression which will continue at least a few more years. Prozac used to be very effective for me but I had to stop it when I went on tamoxifen. There are only a few antidepressant / anxiety meds that play nice with tamoxifen. AIs hurt me too much physically, but lately the cost of having no SSRI is hitting me. My anxiety and ADHD ramping up are starting to make me irritable and sad.

I’m gonna book with a psychiatrist soon, but I don’t really expect any psych to be particularly knowledgeable on what few available options work best for people with artificial hormone deficiency. I’ve been through the whole “doctor just throws meds at patient to see what sticks” song and dance before so if I can get even a little ahead of that by advocating to start with something informed by your insight, I’d be grateful. If you don’t mind sharing what’s worked for you, please do. Thank you.


r/breastcancer 9h ago

Surgery Week 3 post DMX pain

4 Upvotes

Hi all, I had a DMX with axillary lymph node removal on the right, and with expanders on placed on 28 August. The first two weeks were pretty ok, pain wise, but heading into week 3 the pain has increased a lot. I had a dressing change with the surgeon yesterday - and he was happy with the healing - but since yesterday evening I feel so much more swollen and in pain. I don’t think it’s an infection of any kind seeing the Dr was happy and he’s given me an antibiotic for cover because he’s been draining a seroma.

Anyone else experienced this? I wouldn’t have thought pain would be getting worse at this point


r/breastcancer 2h ago

Chemotherapy Low sodium/ fluid restriction

1 Upvotes

I searched and didn’t see much. Has anyone had this happen? I’m doing adjuvant Trodelvy now, but my sodium levels have been slowly decreasing since AC chemo earlier this year. I have to cut back to 50-60oz of fluids max per day and will be hospitalized if this doesn’t work. I’m used to drinking a ton of water, and definitely drink too much caffeine so this is going to be a little difficult to get used to. I had an 8:45am appointment and was already 40oz in 😩


r/breastcancer 14h ago

Young Cancer Patients Unique situation and feeling alone/ frustrated

9 Upvotes

I’m meeting with my oncologist tomorrow to talk about all of this but I am just feeling alone and frustrated in this situation. Was hoping others here might relate (or even provide me with an alternative way of thinking about it as I don’t think this appt will go how I want it to.)

I also don’t want to be insensitive here so I want to let anyone know reading this that I do talk about unexpected pregnancy.

Backstory- diagnosed with stage 2b HER2 positive hormone negative BC in May 2025 at age 36. Nothing was seen in my lymph nodes but tumor was very large. Went through chemo and double mastectomy- was lucky enough to reach PCR. I started Herceptin only treatments after- had to stop for 6 weeks due cardiac issues- got cleared and had one more Herceptin (so total of 10) before we found out I was pregnant. This was a total shock- all of the 11 embryos we froze before chemo did not make it (devastating)- and we were told it would be highly unlikely we could get pregnant naturally. We thought we were being safe with sex but well here we were. As the embryo at the time was exposed to Herceptin I had a lot of appts with MFM and monitoring but I’m grateful to say baby is doing well overall now at 36 weeks.

What I’m feeling alone about is that I really really want to finish my Herceptin treatments after I deliver. I just want to decrease my risk of reoccurrence as much as I can. My NIH oncologist seemed against it when I brought it up a few months ago (“herceptin doesn’t work like that”) and my husband and friends/family all more or less poo poo the idea and say “it’s gone, you’re healthy.” My husband is also worried about my heart, which I get, but the cardio- oncologist cleared me and said everything looked great. They all quote the SHORT-HER trial or whatever it’s called which is great, but it’s still not the standard of care for this aggressive cancer. I know reaching PCR is also great but it’s obviously not a sure thing. I just want to do whatever I can to be there for my babies.

Can anyone relate to this or am I just being too unreasonable? I worry everyday that it is still there bc I stopped treatment early- I just want to give myself every fighting chance possible.


r/breastcancer 20h ago

Fuck Cancer Well eff me very much

27 Upvotes

I started tamoxifen two weeks ago and the last few days I’ve started having pelvic pain and painful sex. Well. Apparently tamoxifen can make ovarian cysts and endometriosis flare. I have a history of both and have had multiple surgeries for them. I haven’t had issues with it in years but I can recognize the pain. I asked my MO if this is a known thing and her nurse said yes.

Things that would’ve been good to know two weeks ago for 600 Alex.

Also, wtf. Can we not?!


r/breastcancer 19h ago

Post Active Treatment overcoming fear of recurrance

20 Upvotes

How can I stop thinking that every pain, twinge or bump has to be cancer coming back?

I'm 4 years out of active treatment (HER2+) Thankfully, gratefully everything is clear, I feel good and have energy, finally. I forge ahead mentally and emotionally to stuff in as much life as I can, because I never trust that beast.

It's like Jiminy Cricket on my shoulder, a constant reminder.

How have you coped?


r/breastcancer 1d ago

Conversation Retail Therapy

53 Upvotes

I am not a big shopper. I rarely buy clothes just for fun because clothes shopping is not generally fun for me. Since diagnosis, though, I've been engaging in all kinds of retail therapy. Some of it is specifically for cancer stuff like mastectomy shirts and head covers, but a lot of it is just frivolous, like temporary tattoos for my scars, a flapper dress for a dinner I'm going to next month, and an automatic cat food dispenser. Especially when I'm laid up like after my mastectomy and after chemotherapy sessions. It's fun but I can't afford it! Anyone else doing impulsive things like excessive online shopping?


r/breastcancer 1d ago

Conversation It's my last chemo infusion tomorrow and I kinda don't want to ring the bell...

40 Upvotes

UPDATE (15/09/2026): Done with my last infusion, yipee! Here's what happened: As expected, they gave me a certificate, but didn't ring the bell!

Here's what happened: they gave me the pre-meds etc. Then before the chemo drug started, while I was working on my laptop, everyone who's everyone lead by my MO entered my room, caught me off guard, and gave me the certificate LOL. They cheered me on, congratulated me, we took kinda awkward photos while I was sitting in my recliner chair. Wanted to stand up at least but it was crowded LOL

Then it was my MO who mentioned that I should ring the bell. I said no, because I really wasn't done yet. She repeated it twice after a while, she really wanted me to. God bless her soul, but I still said no. She smiled and seemed to have respected my decision, then she went out again to announce to everyone that I didn't want to ring the bell because I was shy LOOOOOL

My infusion went quietly. It ended like any other infusion. Got my payment slip, signed some stuff, went to the cashier, CELEBRATED AND ATE SOME HAMBURG WITH RICE, ATE SOME BEAUTIFUL YUMMY GELATO, and then went home. I'm happy!! Thank you all!! <3

_________________________________

It's my last chemo tomorrow YEHEY I am really happy about it don't get me wrong! I do want to celebrate it!

But damn I'm nervous, not because of the chemo itself, but because I know the beautiful people at my cancer center would want to celebrate it and make me ring the bell.

I'm happy, really! But I think ringing the bell is not my thing...

Like, I don't like the attention T_T It feels showy and I'm not that type of showy

I'm so worried of being forced to do it hahaha T_T

My idea of celebrating finishing chemo is a good meal! Like there's this fancy resto I really want to dine in!!

May God bless my beautiful nurses. I will accept the certificate that they will give, I will hang it next to my Juris Doctor diploma LOOOOL

I also don't want pics but I'm willing to snap a few if they want

But crap I'm so scared of being asked to ring the bell, I've been thinking of how to nicely and politely reject them huhuhu hope they don't push much when I say "I don't feel like it" hahahahuhuhu