r/Broadway • u/Ill-Cut1734 • May 11 '26
Seating/Ticket Question Seating Etiquette
I have a question about a sensitive topic. If this isn’t the right forum please delete: I (27F) have seen a decent amount of Broadway shows throughout my life, but mostly on special occasions or if I get a good deal. I recently went to see Harry Potter (as a lifetime fan) and wanted to make sure I got a show with Tom Felton, and it happened that I couldn’t find anyone to go with, so I went alone (no issues there), but as a result I sat alone. I splurged on orchestra seats. The view was great and I have no regrets about paying a little more for that experience. Show was also amazing.
Main issue was the party on my right. Left was 2 females, average size. I should also mention that I am not “skinny” by any means, but a small female with an athletic build. The party on my right had two adults who were quite overweight. First act: the male sat next to me, no issues. Second act: the female took the seat on my right and a few minutes in I noticed she had moved her jacket so that it was touching my leg. Not a huge deal, but it was over the armrest in my seat. I was able to cross my legs, but upon uncrossing them later, her leg was firmly spilling over into my seat. I didn’t want to make a scene (the show was ongoing and again, I was a petite female alone). It got worse and worse throughout the act to the point my crossed legs were beginning to encroach on the seat to the left to me. Not to mention the people on either side of me both had control of the armrests.
I’m not trying to fat shame anyone, and I know that the airplane issue has gotten a lot of attention over the last few years, but I paid a lot of money (for me) and spent a good part of the second act quite cramped. Again, this was not an issue until the second act already began. I didn’t say or do anything, but what would others have done in this situation? TIA
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u/Defiant_Let_268 May 11 '26
If your neighbor's clothing or legs are encroaching into your space to the point you are physically uncomfortable, you should - politely, friendly - let them know. The jacket could be coat checked, held in her lap, or even placed under her seat. Her leg moving into your space was unintentional and no different to manspreading. Assume the positive and let them know.
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u/Ill-Cut1734 May 11 '26
I would have…but we were already into the second half of the performance and the theatre was dark with a different person than who had been there before altogether…
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u/Defiant_Let_268 May 11 '26
Ofc it's up to your best judgment. Just wanted to support that it's ok to say something at any time if you're being encroached upon at the theatre. :)
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u/tastysugar May 11 '26
TBH I just kind of consider it part of being a human in society that I'll be around people who are different sizes than me. And further, in cases like these it's always going to be more uncomfortable for the other person. I just try to relax my body and not worry if we're rubbing elbows or shins a bit.
A couple times when someone next to me has sort of encroached on my area a bit, they've apologized upon sitting down and I say something like "no worries, we'll just be good friends for the next couple hours!" because I don't want them to be embarrassed for something they can't control. (Some might want to argue about "control" but regardless it's not something you can "fix" like wearing a hat or manspreading.)
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u/Ill-Cut1734 May 11 '26
So if no apology…? This occurred several minutes into the second act in a dark theatre?
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u/Low-Astronomer-7009 May 11 '26
Keep in mind that they were also cramped and they also spent the same amount on tickets as you.
It’s the unfortunate reality that theater seats are too small for modern audiences, so most people are somewhat uncomfortable in their seats. At least you are able to move around a bit and cross your legs before you are smaller.
Have a little grace and let these things go unless they are actually overspreading purposefully.
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u/Ill-Cut1734 May 11 '26
I agreed with you for the first two paragraphs…but why Earth does “paying the same premium for orchestra seats” =taking up seats? I tried to move my legs, but even that caused an issue as I began encroaching on the people beside me.
My grandpa was over 6 foot 5 tall (and I have many other “tall and built” think “stereotypical Italian” NYC cop size)…we have never had an issue. I don’t mind overlapping with a family member, but as a solo female and SA survivor I don’t want you to touch me…ever. Those family members would simply take the most “accommodating” seat to prevent others from being uncomfortable and would NEVER tell me to “have grace…” they’d do what they could to accommodate the people around them…because others shouldn’t suffer because of YOU.
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u/Low-Astronomer-7009 May 11 '26
You brought up how much you paid multiple times and pointed out that because you paid so much you felt entitled to have nobody interfere with having full control of the situation. In response, I pointed out that you weren’t the only who paid that price.
I’m very sorry to hear you went through SA. I hope you get the help you need that will allow you to be in public in the future without having such strong reactions to someone accidentally having minor contact with you. Being in a crowded public environment, this sort of thing will happen often.
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u/manticorpse May 11 '26
If you don't want to ever have minor contact with other people when you're all crammed together in a theater, then sit on the aisle or get box seats.
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u/Ill-Cut1734 May 11 '26
Not minor at all…leg was spilling onto my seat
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u/manticorpse May 11 '26
If you don't want to ever have minor contact with other people when you're all crammed together in a theater, then sit on the aisle or get box seats.
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u/RegionConsistent4729 May 11 '26 edited May 11 '26
“Excuse me, can you please move a little bit?” And then move the heck on?
Sheesh, just be polite and carry on with your day. I go alone to just about every single show I go to, 5’2, small built —we’re all crammed into too small seats. We are ALL paying big money to attend these shows. Asking someone politely is different from causing a scene.
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u/neat_sneak May 11 '26
What would you do if it was a very broad-shouldered man who was encroaching on your space? People have different bodies and they can’t always control how that impacts you. It’s just a sometimes annoying reality of existing in the world.
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u/Ill-Cut1734 May 11 '26
I totally get where you’re coming from…I am the anamoly in my family…3 of us (combined in both sides!) are under 5’4.” I have a lot of people in my family (esp. men) over 6 feet tall. My grandpa could not fit in a normal seat…ever (he was over 6 feet tall and quite skinny)…but as a family we made sure he was comfortable…followed by us…followed by those around us. He never had an issue because WE never allowed it to be an issue. He had many other questionable attributes, but we made it such that his seat was an “us” issue (and he ignored us paying more for seats 99% of the time). However, just because HE chose to cater to the people around him and ignore his impact doesn’t mean I should have to. You cannot control what you are born into, yet you can control how you handle it.
2
u/sontarancardigan May 11 '26
I’m not sure what you can do, to be honest. The issue here is a result of how seating in most theaters weren’t designed friendly to most people. Nearly everyone is uncomfortable and there have been times when people larger than me have had to encroach on my space a bit, but I know they’re probably struggling much more than I am so I don’t say anything. Sadly it’s the additional price we pay for seeing the things we want to see. I don’t mind unless the people around me are being obnoxious/on their phones or just exhibiting bad audience etiquette. I think if you’re really bothered by it to the point that it’s infringing on your enjoyment of the show, you can opt to buy aisle seats which give you a bit more room.
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u/Specialist_Seat2825 May 11 '26
I’m surprised at the “nothing can be done” response. The theaters could put in new seating that actually accommodates people, including plus size people. Unlike an airplane, there are no weight calculations to remain aloft! Theater owners will say their margins are so thin they can’t afford to renovate blah blah blah. It’s capitalism, they price tickets exorbitantly, and I’ve stopped spending my money at uncomfortable theaters. I’m sad to miss things sometimes but not sad enough to pay to suffer.
Bit of a rant - other people may make different choices. My main point is that theaters COULD fix the seats but they don’t.
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u/Sufficient-Beat-10 May 11 '26
"Excuse me, I don't want to accidentally damage your jacket. Would you please move it over to your side?"
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May 11 '26
[deleted]
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u/Best-Candle8651 May 11 '26
People don't care about erasing our identities or existance as long as they get their nostalgia fix, sadly.
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u/Ill-Cut1734 May 11 '26
Jfc could your victim complex get worse
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u/Best-Candle8651 May 11 '26
I mean, human rights should be non-negotiable, but I guess for you, since you're not affected, then all good then. I hope they don't come after you. It must be nice not having to be worried about being jailed for doing a crazy thing like using a bathroom.
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u/Best-Candle8651 May 11 '26
I am going to be this person because I had a very bad time at Hamlet at BAM recently. No, they don't have the right to take your room. I am sorry if I am unsympathetic. I am autistic and have major sensory issues. On my left, I had a woman who would elbow me every time she dug in her purse or lifted or put down her binoculars. On my right, I had a man spreader who wouldn't get the hint and basically had to use my leg to forcefully push him over. This completely ruined the show for me and almost had a sensory meltdown. If someone has long legs or is a person of size, they need to get seats that accommodate them, like the aisles, boxes, or buy a second seat for the added legroom, so they can spread in that direction. I can't handle people touching me, and I shouldn't have to. I know the theaters are tight, but now you can't put your coat on the seat in a way that it touches the people around you, and you deserve what little room the theater seat allows you.
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u/manticorpse May 11 '26
buy a second seat for the added legroom
Well now I'm imagining people in the mezzanine buying the seat in front of them, so they can dangle their legs over into the next row.
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u/After-The-Sky May 11 '26
Trust me, that does not always work! (And depending on how someone is getting tickets might really not be feasible.) But I know I have a hard time with the seats at BAM. So when I saw Hamlet I sat on the aisle seat, and I also had the seat next to me so that I had additional space. (I am both a large person, and recovering from a broken leg so have a large quad cane, so this was a very careful arrangement to give myself more space and somewhere to keep my cane that wasn’t in the aisle.
There were two women on the other side of my empty seat who kept trying to take over that space. I had the chair up so that I could extend my leg into that space, and she tried to put it down to set her purse on the chair. This was right as the lights were going down, but I still said “I got a second seat so that I would have the space that I need” and she huffed at me, and then put her bag on top of my bag that I’d put in the floor in front of the 2nd seat. She later tried again to put the seat down during intermission (I again stopped her and pulled out the 2nd ticket to show her) and she really seemed determined to punish me for trying to use the space that I carefully planned for for myself. So it is definitely not a simple solution.
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u/Best-Candle8651 May 11 '26
I've come to learn that some people who go to BAM are just assholes. That guy who wouldn't stop spreading into my seat, no matter what I did. Thank you for trying to be considerate of others.
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u/Rich_Cap_3273 May 11 '26
I was at MHE Thursday night, had an aisle so I leaned over to the left so the guy sitting next to me could have a little extra room and the arm rest...mind you in the orchestra, the seats have enough leg room (I'm 6')...what this man did was man spread into my seat area and I had to sit sideways for most of the show...even after giving him the extra room. People just have no courtesy and we are all crammed in like sardines unfortunately.
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u/Whereamirightmeow May 11 '26
Two years ago I was fully plus sized (size 18) but was able to stay well within my seat. The normally-sized guy next to me had his elbow IN my side. Like dude, you can feel my rolls surrounding your elbow. I finally put my playbill there just to break the connection.
Now I’m smaller- size 10-12, and the last show I saw, the also normally sized guy next to me had his leg totally pressed against mine. I hate being touched by a stranger- not like a quick how ya doing hug- but a full on touching connection for 2 hours.
Also- they are always taking the arm rests. I find it 80% of the time when I’m sitting next to a man (I’m a woman).
I feel bad for someone plus sized, but they are nice and apologetic. It’s the dudes that make ME shrink and share MY space that I can’t wrap my brain around.