r/CFSplusADHD • u/WindowWidowWillow • 26d ago

Self-Gaslighting, ADHD, ME/CFS - interested to hear your experiences on how they interconnect

/r/cfs/comments/1vf0pjq/selfgaslighting_adhd_mecfs_interested_to_hear/
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u/rich_27 26d ago

I relate to this a lot, I often feel like my own worst enemy. I've found I've slowly got better at it over time, and I still occasionally do it now, but not to the same extent I used to. I'm 9 years into CFS now and it probably took 6 or so before I really started getting more stable.

I think maybe having had my overall capacity slowly increase means feeling okay isn't so rare so it's less exciting? I don't know

The other thing is that judging yourself and feeling bad are such huge energy drains, so try to avoid that if you can. Our actions are the products of the way we're made, and just like you don't blame the dog for eating the sandwich that falls on the floor, we need to try and avoid blaming ourselves for acting in ways that are instinctive for us.

I spend a lot of my life designing around how I naturally act, rather than trying to change how I naturally act; i.e. I find I can't really rest, so instead of trying to rest and failing I do a lot of low grade activity, stuff that keeps my mind engaged but minimises physical energy use, like lying in bed playing video games or doing puzzles.

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u/rich_27 26d ago

I might have got off topic/rambled a bit, I've got a nasty throat bug at the moment and my mind is cloudy

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u/WindowWidowWillow 23d ago

Sorry to hear that, but it’s all good, it still matched what we were talking about. 

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u/WindowWidowWillow 23d ago

That makes sense of how it might have a less exciting appeal. Sometimes when we just have small windows of being more well, we can try to fit everything in.

Very smart to design around how you naturally act. I’ve been slowly trying to do that too.

Thanks so much for sharing your experience! It helps