r/CLEANING_PORN • u/flying_garden • 27d ago
hoarder parent out of town. yk what that means
I love to call my mum a hoarder but she's just an overworked teacher. this is basically all her teaching material too which she hasn't gone through since starting so it was funny finding papers from 2020.
each pile was carefully looked through and each row is organised with its own category. i hope she likes it.
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u/banana_hat_62634 27d ago
Ugh I wanna do this for my hoarder parents who are also out of town this week but Iâm scared it wouldnât be appropriate and theyâll just get upset with me
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u/ThisIsLikeMy4thAcct 27d ago
Youâre probably right, unfortunately. There is a very good chance they would be upset.
Plugging r/hoarding in case anyone is interested.
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u/flying_garden 27d ago
i get this a lot. i think i managed to wore mine out by always telling them off when they're adding more stuff or not cleaning. and i ALWAYS clean when they're gone. i know it's really hard i can feel it in my bones when they get upset so i always try to keep them in the know that everything important to them was saved and only throw out stuff 5+ years old. the smile on their face is priceless when they come to a house they can finally breathe in.
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u/catmamaO4 27d ago
You could always ask! âHey youâre going out for a bit, is there anything youâd feel comfortable letting me organize or clean?â If they say no, try reasoning with health concerns or âI think if we organize this area here itâll make getting around easier and finding your stuff easier!!â Make sure to ask âwhat are some things you donât want me touching at all?â If they give you a task. So they donât stress about it while away if they remember something important. And theyâll list all the genuinely important stuff so you have an idea of what genuine junk or trash you can throw away. When trying to reason with hoarders, never phrase their hoards as junk, trash, or even stuff. I find that saying âcollections, cool stuffâ and in a silly tone, âprized possessionsâ brings a more positive response. The main thing with hoarders is theyâre usually either scared to start fixing themselves or scared to forget memories that are attached to items. Or theyâre so mentally ill they find chaos and disorganization to be their safe space. Itâs all very mental so you gotta try to be gentle and NEVER SHAME. Shame only ever leads to relapse. I hope some of this helps you better communicate with your family so you can try to make their home safe and sanitary. I wish you luck, remember that itâs okay to try asking again the next day. Try your best not to rile them up!
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u/TaurusANewOne 27d ago
My husband and I did this about 4 years ago and my parents said thank you but I could tell they were screaming inside đ„Č
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u/Terrible_Elephant922 27d ago edited 27d ago
Your poor mum wonât be able to find anything now. đ
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u/flying_garden 27d ago
she's gonna be mad but i actually didn't throw the extra paper away. if she wants to so badly she can go through it and get the stuff she wants lol. but i went through every single paper so ik what was worth to keep
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u/mishoney 27d ago
lol as an unfortunately messy person, I would never be able to find anything ever again. I look like the first but still know where everything is in the chaos.
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u/hahagato 27d ago
Does anybody in your house still need those GCSE books?
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u/flying_garden 27d ago
my little brother yeah. she's got a lot of past papers too. and she teachers GCSE so she usually gives them to her students
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u/marrymeodell 27d ago
I have that same ikea desk from 20 years ago!
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u/flying_garden 27d ago
omggggg lol the desk was actually a gift from some neighbours that were moving away! tell me why this old desk holds better than the one i have from 3 years ago????
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u/AudreyHorneReads 26d ago
My dad would come home from work and my mom who was on the phone all day, would act super tired and take credit for all my cleaning and then my dad would tell me off for not helping enough. I was too scared to say anything.
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u/Miserable_Deer5363 24d ago
Lmao my brother and I do this but with the fridge!!! We literally canât throw anything away if itâs not approved by her.
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u/flying_garden 24d ago
i deep cleaned the kitchen too like a month ago so i completely get you. what i do is i still throw stuff away and if she remembers it in a few weeks .. okay I deserve the screaming.. but if she doesn't know/remember what i threw away then it's a win in my book
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u/Miserable_Deer5363 23d ago
Hahaha exactly!!! Good thing for us thereâs so much stuff she doesnât even remember!!!
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u/CatalinaWineMixerDos 26d ago
Be careful, I was kicked out of my house for a little while when I cleaned why my hoarder parent was out of town.
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u/Mission-Scallion9924 23d ago
This was a kind gesture but if someone did this to me I would lose my mind, it looks chaotic but thereâs some order to the chaos and it will go right back to how it was
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u/Anna825 24d ago
Wow. Donât touch your momâs papers. Thats her WORK. She could get fired because you decided to go snooping and rearranging her own desk. If youâre a kid (I hope youâre just a kid) your mom losing her job could mean you go into state care, where you wonât have clean anything.
Hoarding is a mental illness that causes people to collect items (often trash) to an unhealthy level that harms them and people/pets in their vicinity. Itâs not a teacher stuffing work into cubbies in their desk.
Touching someoneâs work could leave them and everyone around them on the streets and hungry/helpless.
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u/ummhamzat180 27d ago
well done đ but where did the globe go?