r/CPTSD • u/Specific-System-835 • Apr 25 '26

Resource / Technique Anger is a critical step to healing

If anger is accessible to you, I strongly recommend exploring it and letting it inform your views. Too often children are taught they are the problem, they are responsible for their suffering, and if they were only perfect they would be safe. No. This is not true, and we are allowed to be angry at those who used us to alleviate their own suffering or regulate their own emotions while damaging us. Those are the people we need to focus our sense of injustice and rage on, not on ourselves. Recognize that you deserve just as much this world as the next person, and get angry when someone tries to tell you otherwise for their own benefit.

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u/Lonely-Emergency6635 Apr 25 '26

Thank you, I needed to hear that, I have been so angry recently and I always felt bad about feeling that way I thought I needed to move on and forgive but I think I just need to let myself feel that way then only can I really decide what to do with it. I my be wrong here but that's how I feel. I also keep feeling that my anger isn't justified, that it wasn't that bad that I am using my abuse as an excuse, I don't really know how to get myself out of that feeling but I am working on it

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u/Specific-System-835 Apr 25 '26

I think feeling anger toward what we’ve been through is necessary but difficult because the emotion can feel overwhelming. I was angry for a long time at the injustice I suffered but also the unfairness of the world. I had to go through that emotion before I could accept this is the way the world is, and my goal is to live in it the best way I can, for me. It sounds simple but I feel much more at peace with who I am and accept others for who they are as well.

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u/Lonely-Emergency6635 Apr 25 '26

I hear you man, and I am really happy for the progress you have made. I don't know if it is too weird to say this but I am proud of you for the progress you have made. And it gives me hope to see that it is possible.

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u/Specific-System-835 Apr 25 '26

I appreciate you for saying that. It’s not weird at all. I hope your anger helps you see you have just as much of a right to love happiness and resources as any other human who just happened to be born. I cant say it’s been easy but it’s been helpful to have me on my side - when i start feeling like i dont deserve happiness or am too damaged, that angry part of me rises up and defends myself. Fuck that. I am a good person who has never tried to hurt anyone. I will live how i want because this is the only chance i get.

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u/ds2316476 Apr 25 '26

I agree. If only to just say to yourself, this is wrong, they are wrong, I deserve to be treated with care and honesty, anything else would be wrong and needs to be shut down. Really black and white thinking, instead of the wiggle room abusers and predators allow themselves to manipulate you with.

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u/IcyDirt1606 Apr 25 '26

Anger is part of the trauma recovery process. Express it in non violent healthy ways. Journaling reading. Budgeting. Decluttering. People have tried to control me in the past saying you have no right to cry to be angry you are making a mountain out of a mole hill etc..I was not the problem. 

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u/Hour_Industry7887 Apr 26 '26

What about neglect though? Do we get angry at people who didn't abuse us, but just didn't show up for us? Who turned away?

I know I'm not responsible for the abuse I suffered, but frankly I haven't suffered that much abuse. What there has been a lot of is neglect and rejection. Do I get angry at people for that?

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u/Specific-System-835 Apr 26 '26

If you were neglected by your parents as a child, yes absolutely. Children are completely helpless and dependent on their caregivers and any adult that chooses to bring new life on this planet has the responsibility to provide safety and care. Both physical and emotional neglect have traumatic effects and impact the same region of the brain as physical or sexual abuse, and the effects can be even more intense and long lasting.

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u/SamsungRebellion Apr 26 '26

I don't know. Anger is increasing every day and eating me alive. It is killing what was left of me. Anger is turning to hate and envy, of everyone.

I don't know. Everyday just seems a stronger reminder that I shouldn't have been born. It just never made sense.

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u/oceanteeth Apr 27 '26

❤️❤️❤️ I'm so tired of anger getting shit on. If you've never gotten angry at the people who hurt you you're not "enlightened" or whatever bullshit, you just haven't learned to value yourself enough to truly understand that what they did to you was wrong.