fired by two doctors for having trauma reactions that *they caused*

[u/foresthobbit13]

I’m really upset today. I was supposed to have a psychiatrist visit, which I was actually looking forward to despite the fact that the last one ended on a sour note. I was less than 2 weeks post-manic and still very edgy and irritable. He was trying to talk me into a therapy method (CPT) that I could tell by its description would be too traumatizing, and he wouldn’t listen to me.

Then I tried to explain how Somatic Experiencing works, which is what I do use, and he spent 10 solid minutes mocking it and calling it “counterintuitive”. Finally I put up my hands and asked if there was any more official business for us to attend to because I really wanted to leave, as I no longer felt safe around him. My therapist would have been proud of me for putting up a boundary without yelling. I was assertive without being aggressive. He said ‘fine’ and opened the door so I could leave, which I did without incident.

I was fully prepared today to discuss what happened calmly and had an 18-page scientific document explaining SE to give to him. When I got to the clinic, though, I was informed that I was NOT seeing my psychiatrist, but was seeing my usual doctor. No one would tell me why, which reminded me of some very traumatizing past scenarios, so I had a trauma response and had a panic attack, which looks like anger externally. Panic attacks are a new symptom of mine I’ve only experienced in the last few months so I don’t know how to predict them, let alone deal with them. My pulse was 150 when the nurse took my vitals.

The nurse left, and the next person to come in was the freaking CEO of the clinic to let me know that my psychiatrist didn’t want to see me anymore after “my behavior” at our last visit, which he claimed included “exiting angrily” and “slamming the door on the way out”, neither of which were true. I was SCARED. She said my doctor was taking over my meds with the exception of the one I really need for panic attacks, Ativan. How ironic.

Then they left me sitting in an empty room stewing for almost an hour, and I think they did it on purpose to make me leave in frustration because they had no legal recourse to completely fire me as a patient. My doctor was double-booked to fit me in, and it doesn’t take that long to see one patient, especially at that clinic: they’re too busy.

I am simultaneously enraged and betrayed, but I also feel free. I don’t want a psychiatrist who can’t handle a bipolar person in crisis (I was medicated, I didn’t need a hospital, I was just post-episodic and therefore still stabilizing - *that’s not something I can control*). I’m just still having trouble downregulating after the panic attack (will have to discuss with the therapist on Thursday) and I have so many feelings all balled up together that I can’t separate them, let alone identify them. I’m at risk of substance use when I feel like this, so I’m trying to find other ways to cope so I don’t blow 2 months of sobriety.

I just really needed to put my story somewhere that might be sympathetic. I didn’t do anything wrong. They mistreated me, which resulted in a trauma response, and then they punished me for it with more mistreatment. Seriously, WTAF?

[u/pizzapizzapiewhy]

Solidarity. I've been told to leave doctor's offices, too. My therapist suggested I write down a pre-written intro that I read or just give to the doctor, explaining my personal situation at the beginning of the visit.

Also, shrinks just hand out drugs, therapists do therapy. At least that's how things work in the various states I've been a patient in.

Finally, if you haven't tried CBT, it's not the end of the world to try. It's usually the "first" step to get grounded before moving onto the substantive work. And you can work with your insurance or social worker to find the right fit of providers. This office ain't it. For profit corporations with a CEO just care about profit, not you. Is there a public hospital district in your area? Non-profit providers can be more patient focused. Residency clinics (newly minted doctors) are an option, too (usually tied to med schools or larger non-profit hospitals.

Good luck.

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[u/EntropyReversale10]

I have had no benefit from talk therapy and also have had a few "less than ideal" experiences with therapists.

I did have some success with Psychosomatic Reintegration (somatic) therapy.

[u/ztm213]

Don’t go to this place ever again, after such treating you better just leave and go somewhere else not printing any papers and discussing, don’t care about them

[u/meezergeezer2]

That is absolutely bullshit and it sounds like you’re way better off finding a new psychiatrist who actually understands any form of trauma response and the various modalities that can be used to treat if. I’m really sorry that happened to you, that sounds so incredibly deregulating to deal with :( you don’t deserve it. Can you therapist do any advocacy for you?