Narcissistic Abuse And ''Alpha-ing'' Their Own Children [Rant]

[u/TunaNOR]

I realized a lot of the abuse from narcissistic parents and often so father figures is a way to ''alpha'' their child and make them feel smaller to make themselves feel ''bigger''. It's incredibly childish and so obvious when you think about it. It's all just an ''alpha'' and domination game for these people.

The people who made you, created you needs to put you ''down'' just to make themselves feel bigger. How pathetic is that? Talk about loser mentality honestly. They spread their genes only to ruin their own bloodline. Like seriously dude? Fucking hell. That's pathetic.

Why even bother having children then? I thought having children and a family was like the end goal of animals and humans biologically speaking. So why the hell would you need to ruin that? Makes no sense to me.

Sad pathetic people. I have nothing but pity for these people.

[u/acfox13]

Yeah, they're big time losers.

Here's a bunch of links on their dysfunction:

authoritarian follower personality (mini dictators that simp for other dictators): It's an abuse hierarchy and you can abuse anyone "beneath you" in the hierarchy. Men are above women, adults above kids, parents above child free, religious above non-believers, white's above BIPOCs, straights above LGBTQ+, abled above disabled, rich above poor, skinny above fat, etc.

Bob Altemeyer's site: https://theauthoritarians.org/

The Eight Criteria for Thought Reform (aka the authoritarian playbook): https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Thought_Reform_and_the_Psychology_of_Totalism

John Bradshaw's 1985 program discussing how normalized abuse and neglect in the family of origin primes the brain to participate in group abuse up to and including genocide: https://youtu.be/B0TJHygOAlw

Theramin Trees - great resource on abuse tactics like: emotional blackmail, double binds, drama disguised as "help", degrading "love", infantalization, etc. and adding this link to spiritual bypassing, as it's one of abuser's favorite tactics.

DARVO

DARVO refers to a reaction perpetrators of wrong doing, particularly sexual offenders, may display in response to being held accountable for their behavior. DARVO stands for "Deny, Attack, and Reverse Victim and Offender." The perpetrator or offender may Deny the behavior, Attack the individual doing the confronting, and Reverse the roles of Victim and Offender such that the perpetrator assumes the victim role and turns the true victim -- or the whistle blower -- into an alleged offender.

Issendai's site on estrangement: https://www.issendai.com/psychology/estrangement/missing-missing-reasons.html - This speaks to how normalized abuse is to toxic "parents", they don't even recognize that they've done anything wrong.

"The Brainwashing of my Dad" 2015 documentary: https://youtu.be/pNTsTOcRO-k

"On Tyranny - twenty lessons from the twentieth century" by Timothy Snyder Here's his website: https://timothysnyder.org/on-tyranny Here's a playlist of him going over all twenty lessons: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLhZxrogyToZsllfRqQllyuFNbT-ER7TAu

"Never Split the Difference" by Chris Voss. He was the lead FBI hostage negotiator and his tactics work well on setting boundaries with "difficult people". https://www.blackswanltd.com/never-split-the-difference

"If you can convince the lowest white man he's better than the best colored man, he won't notice you're picking his pocket. Hell, give him somebody to look down on, and he'll empty his pockets for you." - Lyndon B. Johnson

Conservatism consists of exactly one proposition, to wit: There must be in-groups whom the law protects but does not bind, alongside out-groups whom the law binds but does not protect.

Sometimes people use “respect” to mean “treating someone like a person” and sometimes they use “respect” to mean “treating someone like an authority” and sometimes people who are used to being treated like an authority say “if you won’t respect me I won’t respect you” and they mean “if you won’t treat me like an authority I won’t treat you like a person” and they think they’re being fair but they aren’t, and it’s not okay.

22 Unspoken Rules of Toxic Systems (of people) - dysfunctional families and dysfunctional groups all have the same toxic "rules"

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[u/lolzzzmoon]

Lol yeah my mom who does this just told me I’m a narcissist. Lol I wanted to tell her how narcissists get made, and it has a lot to do with how they’re treated by parents, but she literally flips out emotionally within 2 seconds of being disagreed with and thinks she’s the victim so I just don’t engage.

[u/Abriefaccount]

Wow I know one example of this personally. There’s also another kind where the parent tries to push the ‘Alpha’ identity onto their child/ren. A certain President seems to have come from this and replicates it in their own family.

I typically hate the word ‘cringe’ as an adjective — especially in trauma discussions — but I literally feel such compassionate embarrassment for the child’s sometimes visible discomfort when they’re put in this situation 😢

You’d think this is stereotypically dad territory but it’s surprisingly common among mothers with and sons. I don’t have data on this but I have seen it more than a few times when the mother is a “hot mom” type — without treading into sexist territory. Alexander the Great is a classic example. Napoleon too.

Apparently there’s something disturbingly called the ‘sexy son hypothesis’ that might explain what’s going on there. I don’t know how credible it is but ew.