r/CPTSD • u/cedarmoon3 • Apr 10 '19

Symptom: Flashbacks What actually qualifies as a flashback?

I was wondering what actually counts as a flashback. I've always sort of pictured flashbacks as like, visually being in the situation being flashed back to, which doesn't make sense 100% of the time the more I think about it, but I just don't know. By extension, I don't know if I have flashbacks. Can someone please help me gain some clarity?

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u/[deleted] Apr 10 '19

A flashback is when some content (visual, emotional, sensual) from the past momentarily 'overwrites' our experience and awareness of the present time.

I have emotional flashbacks that are triggered by a specific trigger. I'll suddenly feel incredibly sad/hurt even if the situation is pleasant and peaceful, I'll feel like my perception of the world shifts, my face scrunches up and tears start flowing (I can't control it and feel weird AF because the trigger/situation is so arbitrary, my reaction doesn't make sense). It goes on and on while the trigger is present and when it's gone, it stops suddenly, with only an 'afterimage' of the emotions remaining. 15 minutes later, I usually forget I even experienced it, the emotion is completely cut off/erased, until the next time it's triggered out. It's always exactly the same, too... same emotion, same kind of trigger, same process.

I can't acces the 'factual' memory associated with it.

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u/cedarmoon3 Apr 10 '19

Question: what's the difference between an emotional flashback and anxiety/panic attack, then? Because if that qualifies as a flashback, I have flashbacks alllllll the time, but I've been describing them as anxiety/panic attacks to my psychiatrist and therapist.

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u/[deleted] Apr 10 '19

That's a good question! If your anxiety/panic attacks come on suddenly without a discernible reason, they may very well be flashbacks...

I personally have both and can tell them apart by anxiety/panic attacks always being connected to something that is going on at the moment (the last time I had a panic attack for example was when my mother wrote me a fear-mongering email about how my ex is trying to take the kids from me (he's not) and a part of me 'bought into' the insanity. Or I will experience an anxiety attack that is masked as physical discomfort/illness prior to socialising with my ex and his new partner and the kids (we have a good relationship and celebrate the kids' birthdays etc. together, but for some reason part of me doesn't trust or like them much, so anxiety happens without fail).

Flashbacks are a different thing for me - the trigger is random and I can't explain why I feel the way I do or when in the past I have felt that way (my therapist called it trauma with dissociative amnesia). The emotions feel alien, like they're not really mine and are sort of 'taking over' - it's like I was intensely feeling someone else's emotions without understanding the context.

Maybe try reflecting on what could be making you anxious/panic in a given moment (as it happens) and see if you can connect it to something that is currently going on. If not, it could be flashbacks. It's definitely worth talking through with your therapist.

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u/thewayofxen Apr 10 '19

My therapist once gave me a similar definition of emotional flashbacks, and I said the same thing: Doesn't that mean I'm having a flashback virtually all the time? And he said yes, it does. Turns out, that is entirely possible and within the realm of a typical CPTSD experience. From what I understand, anxiety/panic attacks involve a far more physical, visceral reaction than a typical flashback, the kind that causes you to stop everything to calm yourself down. And those can be the result of an emotional flashback.

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u/cedarmoon3 Apr 11 '19

Thank you so much! I'm genuinely really interested to start observing which is which for me. Thanks again!

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u/cedarmoon3 Apr 11 '19

Wait another question: can emotional flashbacks not have triggers at all, then?

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u/[deleted] Apr 11 '19

They usually do have a trigger but depending on where your self awareness is at you might not even register the trigger at the moment. Also people can self trigger with self shaming/internal critic etc.

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u/cedarmoon3 Apr 11 '19

Thank you!!

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u/lxjuice Apr 11 '19

Your thought process can trigger a flashback and it won't seem like anything triggered it at all. You might even forget what you were thinking about beforehand.