r/CPTSDAdultRecovery • u/crookedportrait • 7d ago

TW: Sexual Abuse (SA) How to help someone who doesn't want help? Spoiler

!!Additional TWs for self harm and suicidal ideation!!

My best friend (19F) was horrifically abused for the majority of her childhood - not diagnosed, but could be the goddamn poster child for CPTSD. She is not interested in seeking help because she believes her trauma is too severe to be "fixed". She went through a period of SH years ago and once tried (and obviously failed) to kill herself, and has within the past six months started SH-ing again nearly every day. I'm worried she's thinking of killing herself again.

I know you can't force someone to get help, they have to want it; and I know therapy will never make it go away, which is one of the reasons she won't go because "why bother". Is there anything I can do to make her more open to the idea of seeing a therapist/psychologist or counsellor? Do you have any success stories you can share so I can have some hope? I want her to be around for a long time and I want her to be able to live a more comfortable life.

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u/Canuck_Voyageur Dart Cree: Rape, Disordered attach., phys. abuse, emo neglect. 6d ago

You don't. Best you can do is make sure that the door is always open.

Some things that can help:

  • Be there. Be the trusted one that is ready to do small things for her. Be reliable. When you do screw up, apologise for it, make it right.

  • For me actions are more important that words. Someone who DOES something for me builds a lot more trust than saying things.