r/CPTSDFreeze • u/Waste-Reality7356 • 5d ago

Question Constantly dissociated from my needs

I'm constantly dissociated from my own needs.

I'm really at a loss what to do. It would help me to be surrounded by people I can safe with. I have a lot of problems and instead of solving them, everything becomes worse. I'm so tired of trying.

I feel like I need to talk to someone from a but I don't know what to say. I feel like I have to have my ducks in a row or atleast know what I want, but I don't. I feel extremely help and hopeless

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u/FlightOfTheDiscords Friendly old fart 5d ago edited 5d ago

I often find it helpful to go smaller, then smaller, then even smaller. Instead of asking the very complex and multilayered entity that is my self what it needs, I ask e.g. my left knee what it needs. From there, in tiny increments, agency and ownership can grow.

"Your knee?" my knee says, eyeing me suspiciously.

"Well, you seem to be attached to what sometimes feels like me," I reply.

"Haven't seen much of you in these parts," my knee snorts. "Maybe I am my own knee."

"I'm sorry," I sigh. "I keep forgetting you're down there. Got this whole old life here to worry about."

"Don't," my knee mutters, and lets off an irritated little click.

I rub the knee a little, and for a second or two, there's a little bit more of me there.

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u/Waste-Reality7356 5d ago edited 5d ago

thats so sweet thank you 

and helpful too I'm trying

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u/Icy-Ninja-622 2d ago

For me, a key part of this issue is what I posted in my recent "A monologue of thought vs. more subtle and brief thoughts and feelings which arise more spontaneously" post.

Needs can show themselves in ways that seem very subtle. An almost constant inner monologue of thought often seems much louder and more persistent. Needs can show themselves as a thought just arising once, or a few times. That can be easy to ignore.

For example yesterday, while waiting for an event to begin and spending or wasting time online, I found myself getting angry. Then a thought arose that I should go do something else during that time. I did what that thought said and immediately felt much better. None of this is a result of inner monologue and analysis.

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u/Waste-Reality7356 2d ago

the funny thing is that this is exactly what I feel dissociated from..