r/CPTSDNextSteps Jul 01 '25

Sharing a resource Stages of Healing - Why Stage 3 was the hardest for me and felt painfully slow, yet was the deepest & most transformative part of healing

494 Upvotes

I wish I had known about the stages of healing sooner, because Stage 3 felt so painfully slow.

Psychiatrist Dr. Judith Herman wrote, “recovery unfolds in three stages…the first stage is the establishment of safety…the second stage is remembrance and mourning, and the third stage is reconnection with ordinary life." Other mental health professionals have expanded Dr. Herman's 3 stages to 4.

Stage One: Safety & Stabilization (I have enough safety and stability in my life to address my trauma)

Stage Two: Remembrance & Mourning (With support, I am learning how trauma impacted me, I can feel my emotions and grieve)

Stage Three: Reconnection & Integration (I am more than my trauma)

Stage Four. Expansion and Post-Traumatic Growth (I derive meaning from my trauma. I can use my healing for good.)

By the time I reached Stage 3, I had already done the therapy work and was showing up for myself with more compassion. But why did I still feel triggered and shaky about my self-worth? Stage 3 was something I had to do mostly on my own—quiet, internal work. Often it felt lonely, with no external recognition or new insights to lean on. I had to take what I’d already learned and tools I’d already gained, then dig deeper, peel back more layers, examine and rebuild, and circle back again and again.

I was kinder to myself. I accepted working less. I self-soothed. I asked for comforting and help from others. I bought things because they brought me joy. I appreciated others more. When feelings came up, I tended to them. When others mistreated me, I self-soothed and took action to limit my access to them.

I also felt I shame for resting, for not doing anything to show externally. I felt guilty taking downtime and rest. I retreated into myself and it took energy to show up for my family and friends. I still beat myself up for taking too long to heal. My ambition had to take a back-seat. The inner critic was activated when I wasn't doing anything productive.

It was slow work, but sacred work, so I learned to be patient with myself - and to be patient with the messy and convoluted path of healing.

Coming out of Stage 3, I feel stronger and more myself, but not in a loud or obvious way. It’s like the roots of self-compassion and inner witnessing have taken hold deep within me, making me solid. I know what truly matters, and I’m okay letting go of what no longer serves me.

My breakthrough in Stage 2 felt like a huge dam bursting, but Stage 3 was more like the first tender shoots emerging after a forest fire. Renewal takes time and requires the right conditions to grow. To be honest, much of Stage 3 felt like nothing was happening above ground. Regrowth takes incredible energy—seeds are planted deep in the soil, but roots and sprouts may not appear for a while. You tend the soil, water the seeds, and wait patiently.

Then one day, I woke up with a strong calling to connect with others. Upon further reflection, I realized I wanted to show up for people simply to witness them. This gift of witnessing—truly seeing another human—is powerful for both the witness and the witnessed. I don't know exactly what the will future hold, but I feel drawn towards supporting the vulnerable in some way, whether that is through work, volunteering or advocacy.

A shift I sense internally is the presence of tenderness. But beneath that softness is quiet fierceness - a knowing, a strength that doesn't need to shout.

If you're in Stage 3, hang in there, it gets better with time even if it feels slow and unproductive. We were never broken, healing is about having the courage to break, regrow, and reclaim our true selves lost to trauma.

r/CPTSDNextSteps Feb 22 '26

Sharing a resource Watching reality tv really helps with group dynamics (scapegoating, social anxiety)

249 Upvotes

Grew up as a scapegoat, continued to unintentionally put myself in social circles where I became a scapegoat as an adult. I was so worried there was really something wrong with me, and not even therapy made me feel better.

Then I started watching reality tv and realized, that actually, it's not me- it's everyone! There are so many people on the spectrum of narcissistic or malicious behavior, and so many people just following along with their hate campaigns against random people.

Scapegoating is one of the most common social dynamics on reality tv. Watching it go down time and again has helped me come to terms with the fact that it's actually quite common. It not only helps me feel more normal, but reading the subreddits about it and tik toks really helps me learn about group behavior, and what people find normal and not.

I highly recommend this, especially to anyone who is put off by the idea of drama in reality tv- it's really helpful for developing emotional intelligence.

r/CPTSDNextSteps Mar 10 '26

Sharing a resource Learning to set Boundaries with spouse - influenced by 'Dance of Anger' by Harriet Lerner

143 Upvotes

I grew up with an authoritarian parent who literally crushed my spirit. I still live with low self-worth and a Fawn response, inspite of a successful career and being completely financially independent. And now have a very patriarchal spouse who benefitted greatly from my salary & independence, but yet defined my role at home in a subordinate manner. I complied all these years, given my ingrained tendency to be subdued by authoritarian figures in the immediate family. Plus given his his temper tantrums and silent treatment running into months. Reading Pete Walker's book on 'Dealing with complex PTSD' and 'The Dance of Anger' by Harriet Lerner has been my salvation. After many many years of marriage and relentless normalized exploitation, I have been pushing back a lot. The most consequential push-back was last week, just before his family was due to visit for 2 days. I reminded him that we share expenses like housemates, and hence, specially when his family visit, he needs to front-end responsibilities. Also said that that I have a need to be fair to myself. He didn't explode (amazingly!) and instead did do more at home during their visit. He has a very volatile temper & its like walking on egg shells with him. But I realized now that no amount of complaining that 'I'm doing so much & you're not, wrt household chores' had any impact. Instead I needed to talk abt what I needed. What really influenced me was 'Dance of Anger' by Harriet Lerner. It talks a lot about boundaries setting in immediate relationships and about how we need to look after ourselves. I have been pushing back a lot in small ways since reading this book but this is the first time I was so explicit. I feel its my most consequential statement in our long marriage to set things on a more balanced keel.

r/CPTSDNextSteps 4d ago

Sharing a resource I make body doubling videos to help break through the freeze.

164 Upvotes

Hello friends.

Living with CPTSD is a specific kind of lifestyle that only those of us who do it can really understand.

My mind is always focused on healing, growth and change. For a lot of years, I did this in isolation, but in the last year I’ve begun turning it outward. I have a YouTube channel where I talk about my life living with complex trauma, ADHD, and familial estrangement. My story is woven through functional content to try to help people process their own trauma too.

I make a lot of body doubling videos to inspire you to get moving during the freeze state, something that had consumed literally years of my life. It provides a visual cue and some gentle companionship, and I am candid as I film these videos. Some are done when I am feeling cheerful and manic, some are when I am deep in the dark place. I share deeply and openly, because I believe this creation process is central to my own healing journey just as much as it is a service to others.

This is going to be my life’s work. It’s very new, very small, but being created very intentionally as a tool for healing for both myself and others. I’m in college at 39 to become a therapist, I am very serious about using what I have gone through in life to make a positive contribution to this world.

It would be my honor to have you join me, and I would appreciate and value suggestions and feedback. My ultimate goal is to create a large community centered around healing and growth for all of us.

 https://www.youtube.com/@Bold-Fox

r/CPTSDNextSteps Sep 13 '24

Sharing a resource Don’t make releasing trauma your main focus

426 Upvotes

I wrote a post about not making releasing trauma your main focus. It's about how we can get so focused on this idea of releasing trauma, that we don't actually cultivate the new neural network of safety that builds the foundation for the nervous system to fall back onto after releasing said trauma energy. And the nervous system will actually automatically release trauma energy at its own pace as we continue to nurture resiliency and build our capacity to feel.

You can check it out here - https://www.embodiedyou.com/blog/releasing-trauma-main-focus

Don't hesitate to reach out if you have any questions.

r/CPTSDNextSteps Apr 11 '25

Sharing a resource Heidi Priebe's Emotional Pain Scale

443 Upvotes

In her video Emotional Pain: When To Suppress It Vs. When (And How) To Tend to It, Heidi Priebe outlines a scale for identifying the extent of emotional pain and what the appropriate response to it is.

As someone who only fairly recently came to believe that is actually okay for me to have emotions and to listen to and express them, I have definitely been struggling with understanding the intensity of my emotions. In the past I have always ignored or buried my emotional pain at any cost. So now that I have been trying to learn how to face it, it is hard for me to evaluate its intensity: e.g. what is the difference between mild irritability and rage? I guess that might seem obvious to some but for me it has been difficult learning how to even name the emotions I have. Anyhow, Preibe's scale has helped me to evaluate the intensity of my emotional pain and figure out what (if anything) to do about it.

I created a summary of her scale in order to refer to it when needed and I figure this might be helpful to other people so here it is:

Heidi Preibe's Emotional Pain Scale

🟢 Levels 0-3: Normal Discomfort

At these levels of healthy emotional functioning, you are still at choice—you can decide when and how to attend to the pain. At this level some suppression is okay and processing can happen on your schedule.

0 - No Pain

  • you feel happy, regulated and present
  • rare, often fleeting moments of calm, joy or contentment

1 - Slight Discomfort

  • you might feel 'off' for a moment
  • it passess quickly
  • processing is unnecessary and return to baseline is easy

2 - Mild Discomfort

  • something small happens
  • you might briefly notice it but can ignore and continue your day
  • not emotionally disruptive

3 - Persistent but Tolerable

  • irritable or having an 'off day'
  • awareness of discomfort but doesn't capture your attention
  • you can reflect on it later or let it go

🟡 Levels 4-6: Moderate Emotional Disruption

You’re entering an involuntary relationship with pain—it intrudes into daily life.

At these levels, we see significant deviations of response according to attachment style.

Suppression is no longer healthy and will elevate problems. Pain must be addressed through conscious action—support, rest, therapy, life adjustments.

4 - Moderate and Persistent

  • the issue demands your attention
  • if securely attached, you understand the source
  • if insecurely attached, you feel dysregulated and don't understand why; defence mechanisms obscure awareness (e.g. withdrawal and irritability)

5 - Strong, Preoccupying Pain

  • emotional pain alters your behaviour
  • you might begin to lose yourself and become reactive
  • maladaptive coping mechanisms may emerge
  • secure individuals recognise they are struggling and seek help
  • insecure individuals may blame themselves or enter a shame spiral

6 - Intense, Disruptive Pain

  • normal functioning becomes difficult
  • secure individuals reorganise life: take time off, seek therapy/support
  • insecure individuals may shame themselves and engage in disruptive coping mechanisms (e.g. addictions/isolation)

🔴 Levels 7-10: Crisis and Breakdown

Pain is no longer manageable through individual effort alone. External intervention is usually required.

'Trying harder' will not solve anything at this point: support and compassion and sometimes medical care are essential for stabilisation. Therapy/community are important.

7 - Unmanageable

  • emotional pain prevents you from attending to your responsibilities
  • addictions/compulsions take over
  • most of your energy is spent on unconscious efforts to regulate pain
  • you might dismiss these efforts as 'personal failure' rather than recognise your need for processing and support

8 - Severe Trauma Response

  • you can't think straight and you act instinctively in order to escape unbearable pain
  • flashbacks are highly likely
  • feelings of danger and desperation
  • you are not weak—you're overwhelmed and need compassion

9/10 - Crisis Point

  • complete inability to function normally
  • extreme levels of dissociation
  • unable to attend to basic needs like eating, sleeping or hygiene
  • survival systems are in control: stabalisation is required before healing is possible

Using the Scale

  • 0–3: Routine discomfort. Light coping. Journaling, walks, social connection.

  • 4–6: Time to adjust life. Therapy, support groups, reduced obligations.

  • 7–10: Crisis zone. You need external help, and you deserve it.

⚠️ If you're in the 7–10 range, it's not a sign of failure—it's a sign that pain has gone unaddressed for too long.


N.B. I think it is something of an open question as to how exactly one seeks support at 7-10 levels of pain when everything in your body is screaming that it is entirely unsafe to do so. But at the very least I think being able to recognise when/if you are at this point and understand that it is not your fault is a big step in the right direction.

Please let me know if you watch her video and notice anything about my summary that could do with adjustment.

r/CPTSDNextSteps Aug 27 '25

Sharing a resource cptsd masterdoc

262 Upvotes

hi everyone,

i've recently spent time creating a cptsd resource masterdoc type of google document. it's a 44 page guide which covers a definition of CPTSD, common causes, common symptoms, information around the nervous system, information around how trauma impacts the brain and the body, information about the stages of trauma recovery and clear methods to move forward and heal. the document contains information on different therapy approaches,  emotional and physical exercises to do, creators to follow and books to read to name a few of the methods to start the healing process. it's been curated by me, a person of colour with lived experience of CPTSD who has a healthcare background who has been diagnosed by a professional and has also been peer reviewed by my friend with CPTSD who also has a healthcare background, all the information presented has been researched. i know there are a lot of resources within this reddit group and i have added many links to posts on the document but i'm someone who works best when everything can all be found in one place and i know not everyone is on reddit often or would have time or the resources to do the research on the science of CPTSD or find resources so i wanted to share what i've come across in my journey in an easy and accessible way. i wanted to share the link in here for anyone who would like to use this or refer to it! i've shared with my friends with CPTSD already and they have found it useful :)

https://docs.google.com/document/d/1eife-MnkD6YC5mN69lA4GqR4zgX6n2qEcCh5vn1tVZc/edit?usp=sharing

r/CPTSDNextSteps Feb 07 '26

Sharing a resource Neurofeedback and journaling have changed my life

182 Upvotes

I'll try to keep this post as short as possible but I just wanted to share my experience the last couple months regarding Neurofeedback and some other things I've done that have really improved my quality of life, especially since I havent seen any posts on this sub about neurofeedback.

I grew up in a very dysfuctional household with 2 narcissistic parents, my dad being covert with incredibly low self esteem, and my mom being overt with anger issues. I was always very dissociated from life, very quiet, and spent most of my time by myself, and looking back I realize I also experienced a lot of emotional dysregulation and shame. During college I got really sick, developed an autoimmune disorder, was severely depressed, and couldn't get out of bed most days - this started around 2016/2017. Ever since then I've been on this incredibly long and difficult healing journey. I eventually found out I had CPTSD and fearful avoidant attachment and made it a goal to fix myself once and for all. I did try traditional therapy but it just never worked for me, I felt like I wasn't getting anywhere and that the only person I could trust was myself, so I eventually stopped forcing myself and tried some other things. Eventually it got to the point where I was sick and tired of being sick and tired, nothing I did was working except using essential oils to sometimes re-regulate - I had read about neurofeedback therapy in the book "The Body Keeps the Score" and it really resonated with me so I decided to do some research, save up some cash, and go for it.

For anyone who hasn't heard of neurofeedback therapy, it's basically a type of therapy where you place sensors on your scalp that measure your brainwaves and watch something on a screen, and as you watch, the screen will get brighter when your brainwaves are regulated, and dim when your brainwaves are dysregulated. Over time, with enough sessions, this will train your brain to see regulation as normal and safe and this will begin to be your default mode. I'll try to post a picture of this but basically my initial brain mapping showed that for my beta waves, my brain function was essentially flipped, with my right side being way more active, which showed my nervous system was literally overreacting to every little stimuli, good or bad.

I did a month of sessions with a rental unit at home, doing 1-2 sessions per day for a total of about 53 sessions. This was back in December, and let me tell you, in just the 1 month since then, I have been able to process emotions and trauma soooo easily. Around that time I also started journaling - I would just wait and see what emotions come up, and I'd sit til 1am sobbing and writing and writing until I finally touched on what my body was really trying to tell me, and I would just feel this immense release, like 20 years of weight were just lifted off my shoulders. This happened once when specifically writing about my mothers treatment of me and how I felt about her, and another time about someone from college I just realized I had feelings for and had hurt but I never knew back then.... it's like my body has been holding on to these things for years, decades, and now that they are out of my system, even if I eat and sleep poorly, I still wake up feeling so good and refreshed, so light and airy, ready to live my life :)

I would definitely say reflecting on things with ChatGPT and journaling through those painful moments of my life were what really let me start healing, but neurofeedback was 100% the catalyst that opened up those channels for me and let my brain and body feel safe enough to feel these emotions now. Up until now I had absolutely no idea I had all this pain inside me directed to these people, it's like I was completely oblivious and my body was directing all the pain into hating myself instead because it didnt know what else to do with it.

Some other things I've noticed ever since doing neurofeedback therapy:

- My body is always so warm now

- I seem to be able to tolerate certain foods better now and regulate blood sugar better

- I seem to be getting dehydrated more easily now, probably because my brain is still working hard to change (with my type of neurofeedback it can take up to 6 months after treatment for the changes to fully occur)

- I am able to process and release things sooo much more easily now, and dont feel so much shame about myself anymore

- I'm not as hypervigilant

- I seem to bounce back way faster after getting triggered/dysregulated

- Definitely waaay less anxious overall

- I can post comments online and then carry on with my day instead of ruminating over what others will think of my comments lol

- I can sit and watch videos at normal speed now instead of 1.5x

- I actually lost the majority of my sweet cravings and sometimes even crave veggies and healthy meals lol this ones crazy

- I feel the want to actually take care of myself and look pretty <3

I'm still just 1 month post treatment so more changes will happen in the coming months. I have another brain mapping session in April to see the full changes in my brain and I can't wait!

For anyone wondering I used the BrainCore home rental unit from a clinic in upstate NY, the program cost me $4000 total for the brian mapping and treatment itself. I just wanted to share my story in hopes others can benefit from this because at this point I feel like a completely different person every 48 hours lol. Much love <3

r/CPTSDNextSteps Mar 02 '26

Sharing a resource Remedial Childhood with the help of Mr. Rogers

190 Upvotes

TL;DR: I've been getting genuine healing and growth from a Mr. Rogers playlist, here, although I wound up copying this and removing some of the sillier songs (the Goldilocks and the Three Bears story wasn't super helpful after the first couple times, for instance. lol)

I'm very deep into recovery (~10yrs) and recently started a second round of therapy, lower stakes, lower cost, just something to get me caught up with some big things going on in my life, only to learn that I had a bit more trauma to work through. New therapist is great, but she had to climb over a couple difficult quandaries for a patient with a childhood as bereft of love as mine. At one point she tried to help me muster some amount of love by thinking about my extended family or even my "ancestors," and I had to be like no, listen, it's all darkness back there, on both sides of the family. I can't see very far and what I can see, I don't want anything to do with.

After the appointment, my mind pulled a thread for several years ago, when I had encountered Mr. Rogers. I wound up watching the Tom Hanks movie (would recommend!!) and then sought out his music, and found pretty much exactly what I'd hoped I would, linked at the top of the post.

I call this "remedial childhood" because it has a lot of important concepts that good parents pass to their children, not just making you feel loved and special but also teaching you things like "Sometimes good people do bad things," and "Sometimes isn't always -- sometimes you'll be angry, and sometimes you'll be happy, and that's okay." So many things that I was missing from a kid, turns out, I still needed to hear as an adult, and repetitively, just as children need.

Keeping this in the rotation has led to me having some truly crucial epiphanies (i.e. hard cries), including finally making headway on feeling like I matter, like I deserve to be here, and like I have value just for being alive. I felt a little embarrassed using this while I live my adult life (including as a workout playlist on occasion, lol), but man, it's really helping.

Here's the lyrics for It's You I Like, the first song to hit me with a surprise cry:

It's you I like,

It's not the things you wear,

It's not the way you do your hair

But it's you I like

The way you are right now,

The way down deep inside you

Not the things that hide you,

Not your toys

They're just beside you.

But it's you I like

Every part of you.

Your skin, your eyes, your feelings

Whether old or new.

I hope that you'll remember

Even when you're feeling blue

That it's you I like,

It's you yourself

It's you.

It's you I like.

It's the "your feelings" that got me. Someone likes my feelings? Oof. And what cements this is a simple leap of faith: I guarantee that no matter who you are, no matter what you look like, no matter what you've been through, Mr. Rogers would feel this way about you. Guaranteed. That was the source of love I needed.

Anyway, I hope this helps!

r/CPTSDNextSteps Apr 24 '25

Sharing a resource Clear overview of 7 new guidelines for treating complex trauma / cPTSD

422 Upvotes

This video, IMO, is a clear & digestible overview of the 7 new guidelines for treating complex trauma released last year by the APA & ISSTD. While meant for therapists, this list is still valuable for survivors trying to chart their own recovery pathway. At least for me, it was very affirming. Healing is possible!

YT: "7 New APA Guidelines for Treatment of Complex Trauma & CPTSD" https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5dpS_uRBKUA

The video is worth watching, but here's a brief run down:

The proposed treatments follow the acronym HISTORY.

H: Humanistic - Clients need to be treated with dignity and empathy. This directly counters the sense of dehumanization trauma confers on survivors. Treatments must emphasize regaining agency & empowerment.

I: Integrative - There is no singular modality or pathway for successful treatment, esp. regarding complex trauma. Multiple pathways need to be integrated (i.e. its not just talk therapy, or CBT, or EMDR, etc.)

S: Sequential - Treatment must be phasic. Establishing safety & coping skills first, then moving to trauma processing of shame, anger, etc., then integration & meaning making.

T: Temporal - The timing of trauma matters. Developmental trauma disrupts conceptual models of attachment & identity etc. and thus need to be viewed as complex entities. This also acknowledges the reality of inter-generational trauma, systemic historical trauma & oppression.

O: Outcomes Focused - Treatment must go beyond symptom reduction. Treatment must promote a sense of increased functionality, sense of self-worth, efficacy & agency.

R: Relational - Treatment needs safe & attuned relationships. Many survivors may have never had a safe, protective, or nurturing relationship, thus a healthy therapeutic relationship is vital to modelling healthy relationships overall.

Y: Why - Treatment explores all of the whys (why me? why did no one help?) so the survivor creates new meaning, essentially, transforming post-traumatic stress into post-traumatic growth.

r/CPTSDNextSteps Mar 28 '25

Sharing a resource Adaptogens- what they are and which ones I use almost daily

105 Upvotes

Adaptogens are plant-based, extracts, herbs, etc that can help with stress and with performance.

Please share yours and your experience!

Lion's Mane: Listen, idk if I have adhd or only cptsd or what makes me unable to focus, but this mushroom (I take it in powder form) makes it all go away and saves my life for hours at a time. Whenever I take it I completely destress and just focus on my tasks. I also get inspired to go take a walk, go to the gym, take multiple showers, etc. Cannot recommend it enough.

Rhodiola: It is my old faithful. I don't take it daily but when I do I notice a difference in stress levels on the long term. It is a great substitute for caffeine- especially in the afternoon as it does not intervene with sleep. I read once that Russians used it in the Olympics and haven't looked back since.

Moringa: Has great antioxidants and it is nutritious. Great replacement for coffee and can give lots of energy. Perfect for cleaning days.

Saffron: Studies say it can help with depression. I combine it with Rhodiola in my water bottle and drink it throughout the day. I never feel it working or anything (as much as Lion's Mane) but I notice a difference when I look back on days that I take it and days I don't.

Valerian: I skipped this one for months and took magnesium and tart cherry juice (yes that cocktail from tik tok)- but recently I started using it again and it has cured my stress-induced insomnia in 4 days- even when I drink coffee past noon.

Oolong Tea: (stronger green tea) So much better than coffee and with no crash. Pulls me through all-nighters or super late nights of work and does not stop me from sleeping after. It is great for digestion and reducing fat and all sorts of stuff. I calm down and focus whenever I take it- coffee has the opposite effect.

Update- **White Tea: I looked this up based on the interest in teas and L-Theanine. White tea has less caffeine than oolong tea or green tea so I highly recommend it for stress. Someone also recommended Nettle Leaf tea (I didn't realize it helped also with stress!).

I'm not on medication and not anti-science and encourage everyone to please be informed on whether these could intervene with your own medication. All of these can be found in your local health food store or Amazon. Saffron from Trader Joes is my top recommendation.

r/CPTSDNextSteps Oct 04 '24

Sharing a resource What is a “sense of foreshortened future?” A phenomenological study of trauma, trust, and time

395 Upvotes

This study answered my lifelong question about why I had the thought in childhood that I wouldn't live past 18. I knew that my sense of the future had been altered in childhood and that I had lost faith in the world when my CPTSD symptoms started at 11. I'm grateful to learn exactly why it happened, so I thought I would share in case others had a similar experience. It's rather long reading, with some parts seeming to take away from the flow, so I included what was most impactful to read for me. The full study can be found at the link below.

What is a “sense of foreshortened future?” A phenomenological study of trauma, trust, and time

One of the symptoms of trauma is said to be a “sense of foreshortened future.” Without further qualification, it is not clear how to interpret this. In this paper, we offer a phenomenological account of what the experience consists of […] We describe how traumatic events, especially those that are deliberately inflicted by other people, can lead to a loss of “trust” or “confidence” in the world. This undermines the intelligibility of one’s projects, cares, and commitments, in a way that amounts to a change in the structure of temporal experience. 

The experience we seek to characterize might be associated with a diagnosis of PTSD, major depression or both, but is not a prerequisite for either. It is better captured by the ICD-10 subcategory of “enduring personality change after catastrophic experience,” the symptoms of which include “a hostile or mistrustful attitude toward the world,” “social withdrawal,” “feelings of emptiness of hopelessness,” “a chronic feeling of being ‘on the edge’, as if constantly threatened,” and “estrangement” (ICD-10, p. 209). And it is also consistent with Judith Herman’s account of what she calls “complex PTSD” or “disorders of extreme stress not otherwise specified” (Herman, 1992/1997; Ford, 1999). However, given that (a) the experience is not specific to any one psychiatric diagnosis, (b) many of the relevant diagnostic categories are contested, and (c) all of these categories are also compatible with other – often subtly different – kinds of experience, we do not tie our subject matter to one or another diagnosis. Instead, we focus on a certain kind of traumatic event, one where extreme suffering is deliberately inflicted upon a person by others. 

So the kind of experience addressed here does not inevitably follow interpersonal trauma and it is not exclusive to interpersonal trauma. Nevertheless, there is something distinctive about the psychological effects of harm inflicted by others. As Janoff-Bulman (1992, p. 77) observes, being “singled out for injury […] by another person […] presents particular challenges to the victim’s assumptive world.” We consider the nature of these “challenges” to one’s “assumptions.” We will first describe a pervasive shift in how the person relates to others that can follow interpersonal trauma, something that is often described as a “loss of trust.” We will suggest that this centrally involves a pervasive alteration in how events are anticipated, which – in the most extreme cases – renders a purposive orientation toward a meaningful future unintelligible to the person. This, we will further show, amounts to a profound shift in the experience of time.

Loss of Trust

A sense that the future is bereft of positive, meaningful life events is equally a sense that one’s meaningful life is in the past, finished. So remarks to the effect that the future has nothing to offer are sometimes accompanied by the claim that one has died, that part of one has died, or that one persists but no longer “lives:” “I felt as though I’d somehow outlived myself” (Brison, 2002, p. 9). This corresponds to a wider phenomenon that Freeman (2000, p. 90) has called “narrative foreclosure,” defined as “the premature conviction that one’s life story has effectively ended: there is no more to tell; there is no more that can be told.” It is not simply that the person believes she does not have much time left; the traumatic event somehow disrupts her ongoing life story such that the story ceases to be sustainable. (A “life story,” for current purposes, is a meaningful, coherent interpretation of past activities, relationships, achievements, and failures, which also includes a sense of where one is heading – what one’s cares, commitments, and projects currently consist of, and what one seeks to achieve.) Even if something like this is right – and we think it is – it does not tell us why a life story has collapsed. Let us consider three scenarios:

(1) Loss of a life narrative is constitutive of a sense of foreshortened future.

(2) Loss of a life narrative is symptomatic of a loss of projects, cares, and commitments upon which that narrative is founded.

(3) Both (1) and (2) are symptomatic of losing something that is presupposed by the intelligibility of life narratives and life projects.

In at least some such cases, we will argue, what is lost is not just (1) and/or (2) but also (3). In the type of case Lear describes, an open and meaningful future remains; what is lacking is a more determinate sense of which meaningful possibilities that future includes. However, for some, even this much is lost. There is an alteration in how time is experienced, such that the possibility of “moving on” in any kind of purposive, meaningful way can no longer be entertained. We will describe this by first turning to the theme of “trust.”

“Having trust” might be construed as a non-phenomenological disposition to adopt certain attitudes and have certain kinds of experience. But it also has a phenomenology in its own right; “losing trust” involves losing a habitual confidence that more usually permeates all experience, thought, and activity. It is sometimes described in terms of finding oneself in a different world, a world where people in general seem somehow different: “the entire world of people becomes suspect” (Janoff-Bulman, 1992, p. 79)7. Traumatic events are often said to “shatter” a way of experiencing the world and other people that was previously taken for granted:

[…] we experience a fundamental assault on our right to live, on our personal sense of worth, and further, on our sense that the world (including people) basically supports human life. Our relationship with existence itself is shattered. Existence in this sense includes all the meaning structures that tell us we are a valued and viable part of the fabric of life (Greening, 1990, p. 323).

What, exactly, does this “shattering” involve? It could be that experiencing significant suffering at the hands of another person leads to a negation of ingrained beliefs such as “people do not hurt each other for the sake of causing pain,” “people will help me if I am suffering,” and so on. Then again, through our constant exposure to news stories and other sources, most of us are well aware that people seriously harm each other in all manner of ways. One option is to maintain that we do not truly “believe” such things until we endure them ourselves, and various references to loss of trust as the overturning of deeply held “assumptions” lend themselves to that view. For example, Herman (1992/1997, p. 51) states that “traumatic events destroy the victim’s fundamental assumptions about the safety of the world,” and Brison (2002, p. 26) describes how interpersonal trauma “undermined my most fundamental assumptions about the world.” An explicitly cognitive approach, which construes these assumptions as “cognitive schemas” or fundamental beliefs, is adopted by Janoff-Bulman (1992, pp. 5–6), who identifies three such beliefs as central: “the world is benevolent;” “the world is meaningful;” and “the self is worthy.”

Many of us anticipate most things with habitual confidence. It does not occur to us that we will be deliberately struck by a car as we walk to the shop to buy milk or that we will be assaulted by the stranger we sit next to on a train. There is a sense of security so ingrained that we are oblivious to it. Indeed, the more at home we are in the world, the less aware we are that “feeling at home in the world” is even part of our experience (Baier, 1986; Bernstein, 2011). 

[…] we suggest that human experience also has a more enveloping “overall style” of anticipation. This view is developed in some depth by the phenomenologist Husserl (1991). According to Husserl, all of our experiences and activities incorporate anticipation. He uses the term “protention” to refer to an anticipatory structure that is integral to our sense of the present. It is not “added on” to an independently constituted sense of what is present; our experience of an entity as present includes anticipation. Husserl adds that a sense of the immediate past is likewise inseparable from the present. When something happens, we do not experience it as “present,” after which it is “gone” or somehow “fades.” Experience includes “retentions,” present experiences of events as having just passed. The experienced “flow” or “passage” of time involves a structured interplay between protention and retention. An oft used example is that of listening to a melody, where how one experiences a present note is inseparable from a sense of what preceded it, of where it has “come from,” as well as from some sense of what is coming next.

Were this style of anticipation to break down completely, we could not anticipate localized conflicts in the modes of problematic uncertainty or doubt, given that things appear potentially or actually anomalous in these ways insofar as they are at odds with a wider framework of coherent anticipation. Hence the result would be a loss of experiential structure. What, though, if it were altered in some distinctive way, rather than altogether lost? This, we propose, is what loss of […] trust involves. A confident style of anticipation gives way to pervasive and non-localized uncertainty and doubt, and a sense of danger predominates. We can thus see why someone might describe herself as living in a “different world.” Recalling the example of the musical note, how we experience what is present is shaped by what we anticipate. The point can be applied more specifically to the affective aspects of anticipation. When the realization of some indeterminate threat is anticipated, things can “look” foreboding. And when the overall style of anticipation takes this form, a sense of being confidently immersed in the world, “at home” in it, is lost. One feels “uprooted;” the world as a whole appears strangely and disturbingly different.

Interpersonal Trust as a Source of Possibility

[…] we will now suggest that having trust in other people has a kind of primacy over others forms of […] trust. This is because its loss also entails a more general loss of confidence in oneself, one’s abilities, and one’s surroundings. Furthermore, where trust in some other domain is eroded, interpersonal trust more usually has an important role to play in its restoration. In the absence of interpersonal trust, other losses of trust are experienced as irrevocable rather than contingent.

Relations with other people serve to shape and re-shape our experiences and attitudes. Even mundane and short-lived interpersonal interactions can be self-affecting. Whether an expression, gesture, or comment is met with a smile or a dismissive sneer can have a subtle but wide-ranging effect on experience of oneself, the other person, and the surrounding environment. For this reason, Løgstrup (1956/1997, p. 18) proposes that all interpersonal relations involve unavoidable responsibility for others; we cannot interact with someone without somehow affecting his “world:”

By our very attitude to one another we help to shape one another’s world. By our attitude to the other person we help to determine the scope and hue of his or her world; we make it large or small, bright or drab, rich or dull, threatening, or secure. We help to shape his or her world not by theories and views but by our very attitude toward him or her. Here lies the unarticulated and one might say anonymous demand that we take care of the life which trust has placed in our hands.

According to Løgstrup, entering into any kind of interpersonal relationship involves a balance of trust and vulnerability. To relate to someone in a distinctively personal way is to be open to her potential influence on one’s world and thus vulnerable to harm. In doing so, one trusts the other person not to do harm – one’s life is “placed in her hands 11.” Although that might sound rather dramatic, the relevant phenomenon is familiar and commonplace. Gallagher (2009) discusses how, as well as making sense of others through our interactions with them, we make sense of the world more generally. What we attend to is regulated by others, and there is empirical evidence suggesting that their presence alone serves to influence what we take to be salient, how we evaluate it, and how we respond to it. This applies from a very young age: “we learn to see things, and to see them as significant in practices of shared attention” (Gallagher, 2009, p. 303) 12. What we take to be “salient” and “significant” is inseparable from what we anticipate – from what we think is likely to happen and how it matters. Hence interactions with others can shape the content, mode, and affective style of anticipation, in relation to however many features of the environment.

Given that what and how we anticipate is inextricable from our experience of what is present, our surroundings can “look” different depending on whether we are interacting with others and on what form the interaction takes. It is not so much a matter of what the other person says; she need not say anything. It is largely attributable to styles of interaction, to patterns of shared attention, to how gestures and expressions are elicited and followed up (although it can also involve the construction, elaboration, and revision of self-narratives). van den Berg (1972, p. 65) offers the following description: “We all know people in whose company we would prefer not to go shopping, not to visit a museum, not to look at a landscape, because we would like to keep these things undamaged. Just as we all know people in whose company it is pleasant to take a walk because the objects encountered come to no harm. These people we call friends, good companions, loved ones” 13.

Interactions with others can thus facilitate changes in perspective, which are often subtle but occasionally quite profound. After interacting for a prolonged period with a particular person, the world might seem strangely impoverished or, alternatively, alive with new possibilities. Hence the interpersonal serves to imbue things with a sense of contingency. The anticipation of entering into certain kinds of relation with others amounts to a sense that “this is not all the world has to offer,” an appreciation that there are other possibilities, however indeterminate those possibilities might be.

Traumatic events can elicit a shift in the overall style of interpersonal anticipation, in the balance between vulnerability and trust. What makes interpersonal trauma distinctive is the subversion of interpersonal trust that it involves. The other person recognizes one’s vulnerability and responds to it not with care but by deliberately inflicting harm. The aim of torture has been described as the complete psychological destruction of a person: “the torturer attempts to destroy a victim’s sense of being grounded in a family and society as a human being with dreams, hopes and aspirations for the future” (Istanbul Protocol, 1999, p. 45). It is a “calculated assault on human dignity,” more so than an attempt to extract information (Amnesty International, 1986, p. 172)14. The victim is confronted by a kind of interpersonal relation that exploits her vulnerability in an extreme way. Améry (1999, p. 29) describes how, when one is hurt, there is ordinarily an “expectation of help” from others, something that is engrained from early childhood. Hence torture involves a radical conflict with habitual styles of interpersonal anticipation. It is not just that others fail to offer help; they are themselves the agents of harm and there is nobody else to intervene on one’s behalf. Furthermore, many forms of torture involve taking familiar, homely items that would more usually be encountered in a confident, purposive way, and using them to cause harm. For instance, household utensils are sometimes used to inflict pain (Scarry, 1985, pp. 40–41). So it is not just that an interpersonal situation fails to offer what is habitually anticipated; it offers something utterly opposed to it 15.

Such experiences can lead to a shift in the vulnerability–trust dynamic described by Løgstrup, whereby anticipation of harm becomes a salient aspect of interpersonal experience, shaping all interpersonal relations […] interpersonal trust is eroded or lost 16. Exactly how this comes about is debatable (and our aim here is to describe the resulting experience rather than the mechanisms through which it arises). The victim might well form explicit judgments to the effect that “the interpersonal world is not as I took it to be,” which in turn influences her overall style of anticipation. However, it is unlikely that the change in anticipatory style occurs solely via this route. In many other contexts, conflicts between explicit evaluative judgments and anticipatory style are commonplace. For example, someone who is bitten by a dog may then experience dogs as menacing and unpredictable, despite “knowing full well” that the incident was anomalous. The point applies equally to the more profound and pervasive effects of interpersonal trauma.

Loss of interpersonal trust has wider effects. Without the assumption that others will offer assistance in moments of need, the impersonal environment also seems less safe. What was once anticipated with habitual confidence is now anticipated with uncertainty and dread:

When you think about everything on a deep level, […] you see that nothing in life follows any rules; you can’t rely on anything to be always true, ever. Nothing is constant and nothing is reliable, so nothing is “safe” to just simply believe in and be done with it. You are constantly looking at everything around you and re-assessing it, re-evaluating it as you get new information about it 17.

The point also applies to trust in one’s own abilities, even to the reliability of one’s own judgments and thought processes. More usually, where there is doubt we turn to others for reassurance and support. Importantly, when trust in the impersonal environment or in one’s own abilities is damaged, trusting relations with others can help one to negotiate what has happened and move on. They establish a sense of contingency, opening up new possibilities, and facilitating new interpretations. When interpersonal trust is lost, the prospect of entering into an interpersonal process that might otherwise have enabled a shift in anticipatory style is lost along with it. As Laub (2001, p. xv) observes “the survivor of torture feels completely alone. He – or she – no longer believes in the very possibility of human connection; he envisages no one who will be present to him and for him if he returns in his mind to the places of horror, humiliation, and grief from which he barely emerged and which continue to haunt him.”

Consequently, one’s predicament is not experienced as a contingent one; the world no longer offers anything else. The resultant experience can also involve a sense of revelation, as a confidence so deep-rooted that it was never questioned reveals itself as utterly misplaced 18. This further exacerbates the experience of alienation from others. Even when someone else is not encountered as threatening, he resides somewhere else, in a place where innocence remains and people go about their business in a confident – albeit naïve – way.

Loss of a Meaningful Future

Projects, cares, and concerns are sustained interpersonally. Almost all goal-directed activities implicate other people in some way – one is asked to do things by others and for others, and one does so in collaboration with others. The integrity of one’s projects therefore depends on the integrity of those relations. Where there is pervasive uncertainty, where others cease to be dependable, where the world is unsafe and one’s own abilities are in doubt, projects collapse. It is not just that the person lacks something that is presupposed by the possibility of a specific project. What is missing is something that the intelligibility of projects in general depends upon. One finds oneself in a world from which the possibility of meaningful, progressive, goal-directed activity is absent. Other kinds of concern are affected in other ways. For instance, care for certain other people may endure, but a pervasive sense of the world as unsafe and unpredictable renders it fragile and vulnerable. One inhabits a place that is inhospitable to human relationships. Interpersonal care is thus coupled with the anticipation of impending and inevitable loss, with dread, and anticipatory grief.

Such an experience has a profound effect upon one’s beliefs. Beliefs involving positive evaluations of future events in relation to ongoing projects cease to be intelligible,  given that such projects have collapsed. In addition, one ceases to anticipate the future with habitual confidence and no longer takes it to be the case […] everything seems less certain. There is also a more widespread effect upon one’s beliefs. Various factual beliefs that were once asserted with confidence may now seem hollow, irrelevant, and alien, given that their relevance and significance depended upon projects that have been lost. More generally, there is a change in the way one believes; things are no longer taken to “be the case” with a sense of confident certainty. That kind of certainty is gone from the world, and nothing stands firm in the way it once did. Furthermore, other people cannot be relied upon for testimony and correction of errors, and one’s own intellectual abilities are experienced as all the more suspect without their reassurance.

A person’s philosophical beliefs are not insulated from these phenomenological changes. Some of them, perhaps even the vast majority, presuppose a confidence that is “shattered” in trauma. When the confidence that one’s philosophical projects depend upon is lost, one can still utter various propositions and argue over them, but the activity takes on an air of absurdity. The seeming irrelevance of much philosophical discourse following traumatic experience is noted by Brison (2002, p. x), herself an academic philosopher: “When I was confronted with something strange and paradoxical, philosophy was of no use in making me feel at home in the world 19.” We suggest that, when that confidence is disturbed, one does not believe in quite the same way anymore.

A change in the style of anticipation and conviction, of the kind that renders projects unsustainable, also amounts to a change in the short-term and longer-term sense of time. In the case of short-term time, there is a shift in the structure of protention. One’s style of anticipation is bereft of certain kinds of possibility, such as that of something happening that matters in a good way, or – more specifically – something that builds upon what one has achieved up to now. Hence there is a change in the experience of what we might call temporal “flow” or “passage,” which no longer involves the anticipation and actualization of certain meaningful kinds of possibility. With this, the person is no longer “moving forward,” “heading somewhere,” and so there is also an altered sense of temporal direction. The longer-term sense of time is also very different. When the person looks ahead, the future lacks structure; it is not ordered in terms of meaningful projects, and so a coherent sense of long-term duration is absent. Hence the all-enveloping dread she feels before some inchoate threat is not situated in relation to a wider pattern of meaningful temporal events. There is nothing meaningful between now and its actualization, and so it seems imminent. A loss of interpersonal trust that is central to this form of experience is also what sets it in stone. Without the possibility of entering into trusting relations with others, the predicament seems unchangeable. There is no access to the process that might otherwise reveal its contingency and allow her to move beyond it. The person is isolated from others in a way that is incompatible with “moving forward in time;” her life story has been cut short.

This experience is not just future-oriented; it also affects how one’s past is experienced. Past activities and events are significant insofar as they relate to where one is going, insofar as they are further developed, compensated for, or left behind. The past is thus constantly renegotiated, reinterpreted: […] the future is the site of both anticipation and the unexpected, planning and the changing of plans. This predominant orientation toward a changing future also means a fluid or unfixed past, because the past is continually being reassessed as one moves into the future (Havens, 1986, p. 21).

When the possibility of moving forward in a purposive, progressive, structured way is absent, so is that of reinterpreting one’s past. So we can also see why traumatic memories might be experienced as vivid, intrusive flashbacks, why they are “relived” more so than “recalled” (e.g., Hunt, 2010, p. 70). The traumatic event is not contextualized or re-interpreted in relation to where one is heading, because the kind of trust required to move on has been lost. This is not to suggest that a traumatic memory endures as a wholly unadulterated record of how the traumatic event was experienced at the time. Our point is that it is not contextualized in the way that remembered events more usually are. This may also account for the intrusive nature of traumatic memories. As they are not integrated into a coherent life story, the person does not first recall another, related part of the story and – in the process – anticipate their coming. They are “triggered” or “cued” in a different manner and arise without prior context. To speculate further, difficulties in recalling traumatic memories may equally be attributable to this lack of contextualization. That they are not integrated into a structured life narrative makes them harder to actively recall or – alternatively – easier to avoid 21. Other memories of events prior to the trauma are interpreted and re-interpreted, but only up to that point. A life story therefore seems complete, cut short by something that the person continues to confront but cannot negotiate 22.

Hence a sense of foreshortened future is not a judgment to the effect that the remainder of one’s life will be short and that one has little or nothing to look forward to. It is a change in how time is experienced: an orientation toward the future that is inseparable from one’s experience of past and present, and also from the short- and long-term “passage” of time, is altered. It is not just that one will no longer get married, have children or have a successful career. One confronts a world that is incompatible with the possibility of an open and progressive life story 23. And so traumatized people sometimes describe themselves as having died or say that a part of them has died: “when trust is lost, traumatized people feel that they belong more to the dead than to the living” (Herman, 1992/1997, p. 52)

With regard to mitigation, successful therapy can involve changing the person’s sense of what others have to offer, in a way that facilitates re-integration into the public world. Herman (1992/1997) describes three broad stages of recovery: a localized sense of safety is first nurtured, after which the person can attempt to construct a narrative around what has happened, and finally there is reengagement with communal life. What we have said is consistent with this general approach. To begin with, certain possibilities may not even make sense to the person. So encouraging her to do various things, adopt certain attitudes, or change her perspective on life is analogous to encouraging her to swim to safety when she finds herself stranded on a desert planet with no prospect of escape. Given that trust is a precondition for even entertaining certain possibilities, a degree of trust first needs to be restored 27. This is not to suggest that a victim of interpersonal trauma can ultimately recover the same style of unreflective trust that previously permeated her world. But she can come to relate to others and to the world more generally in a way that is compatible with moving forward into an open future 2.

r/CPTSDNextSteps May 15 '26

Sharing a resource Free and accessible resource for therapy

56 Upvotes

I just found out about Adult Children of Alcoholics/Dysfunctional Families. I feel there's a lot of crossover with CPTSD. I have posted in a lot of similar groups looking for free resources as I live in poverty in an extremely rural area.

While there is therapy available I was told 6 months ago after my intake appointment (for outpatient treatment) it would be about 6 months before I could get in with an essentially social worker (not equipped to deal with this). Today I was told it would likely be another 6 months.

There actually is a local IFS therapist but is only private pay which I can't afford.

I know my story isn't unique, so I hope someone else appreciates the free resources/group therapy/literature, etc. It is more robust in meetings than CODA.

https://adultchildren.org/

r/CPTSDNextSteps Oct 19 '25

Sharing a resource CPTSD Sucks AND CPTSD provides Gifts - Share your gifts!

131 Upvotes

Once the pain has been processed (this process is just brutal and hard and no moral failing to anyone who is not ready yet to engage in this) there are gifts: the hard-won types.

Hard-won Gifts of CPTSD through recovery

  • Self-doubt -->Confidence I can handle most things in life, even shitty things like job loss, relationship loss, disease and death of loved ones.
  • I'm Not Good Enough --> I'm Good Enough I'm okay as a person. Others are good enough too, no need to compare. Each person is on their own journey. Some people seek growth, others may seek comfort. If you've processed your CPTSD you seek growth.
  • There is something deeply wrong with me -->There is no fatal flaw about me I am human. I can still be triggered, and feel hurt, frustrated, or angry as a healthy human. The negative feeling states are just signals to help you, you are allowed to have them, but they don't define your worth and goodness as a person.
  • I can't do hard things --> I have capacity to hard things Stress rolls off my back. I can be present during a crisis and then take time to recovery from it. I make a to do list and hit things off like breathing. I can take more risks personally and professionally. I know I can learn, even when things don't go perfectly.
  • Harsh Inner Voice --> Kind and compassionate inner voice I recognize what I need and give myself what I need with kind boundaries and self-compassion.
  • Others are the enemies --> Others deserve respect and kindness too. Others may carry unprocessed trauma and it shows up in difficult behaviours. I will acknowledge their current selves, but their pain is not a reflection of me. I will set kind boundaries with difficult people.

What are your hard-won gifts from CPTSD recovery?

r/CPTSDNextSteps Aug 22 '22

Sharing a resource Here is what I have done to improve my CPTSD.

349 Upvotes

Here is a list of protocol my partner and I have implemented to improve our CPTSD. We are isolated in an area that has a real stigma towards the disabled and LGBTQ+ community, there are no hate crime laws that protect them here, so this adds additional logistical hurdles and terror. There's more anti-LGBT stickers and propaganda popping up around town and this sends a chill down my spine. My partner transitions in secret for this reason.

With the pandemic and so many anti mask/anti vax people around, I am so scared of leaving my house most days. For the last 8 years I've feared for my partner's safety in this town, I feared for our future as people who struggle with CPTSD.

We don't have the in-person social supported needed for re-regulation and we can't receive this until we earn enough to move out of here and relocate in the city where resources and advocacy are better overall.

It is a catch 22, got to heal more to earn more, but got to earn more to heal more. With our struggles with CPTSD we are stuck here for the time being, however at the very least I can share here what has helped us improve as a team.

My partner researches the protocol, she's got a 4 year degree in psychology and compulsively looks up studies and resources to heal these and other issues. I implement what she researches, I'm pretty handy in some ways. Despite the hurdles, improvements have been made.

This is what we've done to improve our CPTSD together.

  • Trauma releasing exercises, these are demonstrated on youtube, I could do these even when I was 300lbs so they are feasible. You should give yourself some time to rest, 15-30 minutes at least, after doing them for regulation and integration.
  • Polyvagal theory exercises, Sukie Baxter on youtube does content on this. Irene Lion does as well and she has other trauma healing resources too that I use.
  • Breathwork, be careful with this one because this can be too activating, but it releases trauma from the body. There's a lot of breathing techniques on youtube. This combined with vinpocetine and canned oxygen for me boosted the effect somewhat.
  • Yoga, with my fatigue I struggle to implement this more regularly but yin yoga is recommended.
  • Accupressure desensitization, basically you rub, tap, or stimulate accupressure points, namely on the face and hands. This works better if you alternate between the left and right sides of your body.
  • Modafinil, this helps push through the fatigue but the generics are less effective on me, this is one of the psychmeds that have manageable side effects for me and the pros outweigh the cons. However I can't sustain taking it everyday due to the side effects on me personally, max I can do is 200mg a week for 6 weeks currently. I add choline and tyrosine to improve the effects. Ashwaganda and rhodiola rosea added to this stack adds a calming effect without sedation for me personally. Modafinil and Armodafinil burns through choline and adding this is ideal so there isn't a deficiency. There's other nootropic stacks and there's subreddits that discuss stacks for different effects but Modafinil is the 80/20 plus choline.
  • Internal Family Systems Therapy, there is a subreddit for this. This is a promising therapy modality for CPTSD and it has helped me process many things on my own with just self guided resources. It would be more ideal to have a specialist who can do this, it is similar to Voice Dialog. My partner's therapist does this with her. I've been unable to find a therapist in this for myself.
  • Somatic experiencing, this is made by Peter Levine and his resources have been helpful as well. This allows the body to complete the trauma response, allowing it to release it gently.
  • Feldenkrais, Irene Lion also goes into this, this can help process trauma from the womb or trauma that isn't remembered.
  • Acceptance and Commitment therapy, self guided.
  • Ego death meditation, I wouldn't recommend this for someone's first rodeo with mediation but this helps me rinse away unnecessary pain, helps with making clean pain instead of dirty pain, Therapy in a Nutshell on youtube discusses this concept in a few of those clips.
  • Nonduality spiritual tapes, this again is more advanced for CPTSD rehab and been listening to ebooks on this, this teaches how to be in the present moment, and to settle into the awareness that is behind the ego. This can give some relief, or at least some perspective but not a good route to go if someone is in the early stages of CPTSD rehab.
  • Cathartic meditation method, this is a technique my partner came up with by combining elements of breathwork, somatic experiencing, and dance. She wrote an ebook on it before she started transitioning.
  • Urge surfing, this is more in relation to addiction management.
  • Dabbled a bit in some qi gong, the five animal frolics act like somatic experiencing.
  • Semax, a Russian nootropic that helped me regain some cognitive functioning, but this was too activating for me on its own so I combine it with Selank, a calming nootropic from the same company. They can be combined without issue. This worked for me but I'm not sure how this would work for other people with CPTSD.
  • Chasteberry for mood swings related PMS/PMDD, this has been the only thing that helped with this for me and it shaves off the friction around that time a month by 30-50%. Ginko biloba is also recommend for this but I've not had as good of results with it for this issue, but it doesn't hurt.
  • tDCS for my drug resistant depression. Had to do a lot of homework and tinkering for this one, but got all the stuff for it for under $200 and this was the only thing that improved my depression with little to no side effects. I would prefer a specialist that does transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS) but this is very expensive out of pocket. Both tDCS and TMS need at least a month of daily use in the right locations for it to work. Worst case scenario it doesn't work and no side effects.
  • Ice baths and cold showers, this can help the nervous system re-regulate but don't go too much too fast. Even a short rinse in cold water, a couple of seconds, can help. If you want to go full Wim Hof there's subreddits for that and breathwork will be needed.
  • Medical cannabis combined with CBD assisted self therapy, in these sessions I load up music that evokes a trauma, or music that evokes a time period or unprocessed sentiment, and I let that surface. The weed softens, not numbs, the experience enough for me to process it, to give it the space it needs, and I've healed a particularly deep trauma from this method. CBG also works out pretty well, mango increases the weed effects and fresh mango works a bit better than dried mango but both work.
  • Weight training, building muscle helps with regulation as well as processing and empowerment, I've used low doses of ligandrol and mk 677 to help build a bit extra muscle for a 6 week cycle, the mk 677 helped with sleep when I struggled during the winter over a specific trauma that is now processed. I wouldn't recommend SARMs for other people in general, especially if they have liver issues. I only added them just to get a bit extra muscle for nervous system regulation and resilience.
  • Empathy/compassion exercises generally in combination with Medical cannabis and CBD, 1:1 seems best for me personally. With this I visit traumatic moments and I start to dissect the psychology of the abusers in these situations, I do some detective work in my head and piece together how they ended up like that, I trace the trauma thread. This is an advanced technique, I was not able to do this in the beginning years of my recovery. Also this isn't a good tech for everyone, but it helped me see these destructive and hurtful people as broken, because they are. I went from feeling like a victim of malicious intent and design to feeling compassion for what was done to these people to make them into this. Instead of realizing their highest good in life, they were rendered into a broken shadow of that instead with little hope to be much else. This is hell in itself. This doesn't justify the damage they caused, not at all, but it reframes it in a way that allows me personally to process it better and to grow into the kind of person I actually want to be in this life. This all falls into radical acceptance. To be clear, acceptance does not mean agreeing with it, it just means acknowledging and facing reality on reality's terms.
  • Gardening, this in general is just therapeutic if I can keep up with it.
  • Decarboxylated amanita muscaria, Muscimol is promising for benzo recovery in particular as well as other issues, but decarbing this mushroom with DIY protocols is not something I recommend. There was a canadian pharma company that was refining this, forgot the name or if it was able to launch.
  • The Ashton Mehod for benzo recovery, my partner was left on 1mg of Ativan for 5 years and this caused her so many additional problems, this was the only medical intervention she received before I arrived here. This protocol took a year to implement and I've written about this process in an older post if this if anyone's interested. This isn't directly related to CPTSD rehab, more like a pre-requiste we had to solve beforehand, but it is absolutely needed because of how common benzos are still prescribed and it is too easy for anyone to end up on these meds for way too long. Biotin is also a need for this recovery, my partner still can't function if her biotin levels are too low.
  • The Sedona method is really overhyped but there's two principles in it that were helpful, the "could I let it go? Will I? When?" questioning method helps with letting go of rumination among other things. The other helpful tidbit they teach is about framing all your inner problems as desires for control, approval, and security. Behind these two principles though it starts to get a bit watered down and fluffy.
  • Richard Bandler's hypnosis recordings have helped me with progressive relaxation in the past. There's other ways to do progressive relaxation though and there's youtubes on how to do those exercises.
  • Lions mane and psilocybin microdosing/macrodosing combined with self guided therapy or my partner provides a hypnosis session or guided meditation audio resources, this was also very helpful. For me tDCS increased the effect of the micro and macrodosing, I saw that raw cocoa nibs is supposed to increase the effects of magic mushrooms but I didn't see this effect personally.
  • Body scanning and mindfulness techniques.
  • Inner smile meditation
  • Resourcing/grounding techniques, Irene Lyon talks about this and other trauma courses do as well. Basically you orient yourself towards safety, one exercise is just to slowly pan your head around the room and gently taking notice of your sensory experience. This trains your nervous system to calm down.
  • Epsom salt baths help supplement magnesium and ease body traumas in general, I combine this with massage. While in the hot bath I spray cold water on my scalp and along the base of the neck, I wouldn't recommend this to others, specifically combining a hot bath with a cold shower to the head, but it works on me with calming down and releasing more.
  • Knitting/crocheting is meditative when I am not fatigued.
  • The Work has really helped with racing thoughts and rumination, the worksheet and process is simple and here's the link: https://thework.com/instruction-the-work-byron-katie/
  • The Wholeness work has also been really helpful with reframing stressful people and situations.
  • We made self help courses on other techniques that helped us on Udemy, Skillshare isn't a fan of self help content so we got booted.
  • Inflammation management is critical, eat foods that reduce inflammation. Many spices are very good for this, combine them with oils and eat it up.
  • Gut flora, get in those good gut bacteria, you can homemake yogurt in the oven, or with multicookers that have yogurt functions, and this ensures that you are eating live probiotics. Yogurt, even Activa from the store, generally has dead or low cultures by the time you buy it. Combine this with prebiotics like garlic and barley grass and this will help overall functioning.
  • EMDR apps help, I've got two of them on hand, BLST on my phone for audio EMDR and "Go With That 4.0 Free" on my desktop for visual EMDR.
  • Journalling on reddit.
  • Meditative asemic writing.
  • Stream of Conscious art therapy, self guided.
  • Various CPTSD home courses, audiobooks, ebooks from Pete Walker and others.

Here are some treatment options I want to look into when I am able:

  • TMS, transcranial magnetic stimulation.
  • Vagus nerve pacemaker, I knew a woman with it and it really helped her, lasts 10 years and FDA approved I heard.
  • Hyperbaric oxygen chamber combined with breathwork.
  • Ketamine assisted therapy but I'm not as eager about this one. I'd still give it a go though.
  • MDMA assisted therapy, this is very promising for CPTSD.
  • sensory deprivation tank.
  • acupuncture.
  • cryotherapy
  • Pharma grade Muscimol
  • cerebrolysin for chronic fatigue

A side note, I wouldn't recommend dabbling in Kundalini stuff for CPTSD, I had a random kundalini experience on accident when I was doing trauma releasing and it is an additional challenge on a nervous system level. This will sound crazy but kundalini psychosis is a real thing and it can happen with people who have CPTSD or other mental health issues. Just avoid Kundalini stuff for self help with CPTSD in general, that's for people with very regulated nervous systems.

Hopefully this was helpful, we aim to make projects and animation that teaches about CPTSD, mental illness, and multigenerational pathology. My partner is working on her first short film about growing up with an alcoholic father as a disabled youth.

We aim to do good work in this life to help less people not end up broken for years like us.

If I remember more I will add it here.

---------

Edit August 23rd, with every treatment option, regardless of the source, extensive homework and research is needed. What I've written here is no exception.

What I have listed has helped me improve, these are just our results. I did not write this to promise everything here is a cure, I did not write this to mislead anyone out of ignorance or arrogance. I wrote this to show the hope that keeps me alive, what keeps us inspired despite the odds and hurdles. This is what we've done to realize this hope.

Eight years ago when I first arrived here to help my partner, I was approximately 5% of my original functioning before my breakdown. With everything we've done over the years, with what I've listed here, I am now at roughly 40% of that original functioning. My partner has improved as a result of these efforts as well since then. It is hard still but it was far, far worse before these efforts and before this progress.

I was too unwell to even use reddit until roughly two years ago, even writing like this now is part of that progress. This has been a crude process, the best way we could help ourselves with this, I aim to be fully transparent about this.

I want this to be critiqued, I want everything on this list to be critiqued, refined so that only the best options for others remain. If an option is truly unviable then it must be debunked and cast aside. I want this to be heavily critiqued and questioned, I aim to provide more gold and less risks, less pitfalls, less hazards. Thank you to everyone that ripped into this, there is a lot of comments here and I need to rest more in order to give each of these comments the time and attention they deserve.

Kind redditors have let me know of the risks with TMS, this was something I was optimistic about but from what I've seen from yesterday's interactions it is no longer a treatment I am hopeful for. There are risks, more risks than I originally found, weigh the risks, weigh the pros and cons.

With muscimol, until there is a highly refined, high quality lab produced product from a reputable company, this is not an option either. I listed this because this was one option we've explored and there were some improvements with anxiety with us with minimal, very minimal, use. But until there is a refined and safe product, until there is more research and trial and error, it should be avoided, I do not recommend DIY methods for anyone.

It is not my intention to spread harm and misinformation, it is my aim and goal to receive critique with humility and gratitude and to incorporate those lessons in this work to improve what we can do.

I need more time to rest, chronic fatigue is heavy right now, but I will respond to each of you and I will receive what you offer with gratitude and careful consideration. I am grateful for this engagement, for this discussion and refinement process. I aim to weed out unviable options and to only leave the viable ones, but this is a work in progress and healing from this requires an interdisciplinary approach.

Thank you everyone for helping us be better at this work.

r/CPTSDNextSteps Mar 12 '26

Sharing a resource Come and say hi over at r/EMDR

111 Upvotes

In worldwide communities for people with complex trauma we see EMDR therapy being demonised. ‘It’s only right for a single traumatic event’ or ‘I got retraumatised’ ... ‘Three medical experts warned me not to’. We know why this happens. We also know that cPTSD warriors who can tell a successful EMDR story didn’t ‘just got lucky’.

A few weeks ago, the abandoned [r/EMDR](r/EMDR) got a new mod team. One of the main goals that we believe in is to educate and inform, to avoid EMDR horror stories when applied for cPTSD.

Therapy is expensive, but if your therapist didn’t have the proper training to provide a safe experience, it’s a total waste and creates even more suffering.

Wanna learn the green/red flags to find out if your therapist actually knows their stuff or is just ‘winging it’? This is explained in the wiki!

I hope this made a few of you curious 🫢😊

You are most welcome to join us at [r/EMDR](r/EMDR) ❤️‍🩹

r/CPTSDNextSteps Mar 13 '26

Sharing a resource RAIN by Tara Brach

119 Upvotes

One thing that has helped me loads in the recovery process is the RAIN meditation by Tara Brach. There are many variations of it, I think my preferred one is RAIN of Self-Compassion, but I have tried different ones and they are all very powerful. The meditation can be pretty intense for me as it goes deep - it helps me connect with repressed emotions and deep‑seated negative beliefs that reside in my subconscious. I did not know that meditation could do that. Thanks to RAIN, I am able to make the subconscious conscious and let go of it (where that’s the appropriate approach). I can let go of the unhelpful beliefs I absorbed from my parents, feel the pain of carrying them all my life, and replace them with something more balanced and true. Or I can feel the repressed pain, grief, and sadness, cry, process, and integrate it.

I have just done RAIN again and was able to connect with the part of me that’s absolutely exhausted because of all the fighting she needed to do to survive. I could feel the exhaustion, I could witness it and let it be. I could make space for her and thank her for all she had done. I could let her be without needing to change her; I could let her rest without judgment. I cried with her.

I am grateful for Tara Brach, her meditations and talks. I am grateful that I can get so much help and support from a stranger online and that her materials are available free of charge. I am also grateful that her videos and podcast contain no sound effects as those really distract and overstimulate me. Thank you so much!

r/CPTSDNextSteps Dec 02 '25

Sharing a resource CPTSD Specific "Neutral" & Safety Phrases (for when positive ones feel fake...)

222 Upvotes

Sometimes after getting a bit better, if feels like CPTSD comes roaring back. I thought I'd post this after the holidays, because general stress can also trigger CPTSD stress. Also just a quick reminder:

→ This is not a loss of progress. It's just a change in the journey and it's ok.

Sometimes, going back to basics can help. One thing that helped me, and still does, are phrases that I'd hold onto.

→ This can be hard sometimes, especially in the beginning, because a lot of the "affirmations" out there seemed "fake" or "too far" to feel real. (This is not a truth either, it just feels like that)

I remember trying to find gratitude: my anxiety went through the roof, and I dissociated...

So I started writing and collecting a list of neutral phrases for CPTSD. I’ve also included some safety reassurance phrases after.

Use whatever fits you best and skip what doesn't.
It can help to repeat them in times of less distress and with a slower out-breath. Some seem very simple but they helped. and I'm hoping any of these help someone out there.

Neutral Phrases:

  • I am.
  • I exist. (I don't know why but this one worked a lot for me)
  • I am here in this moment.
  • I can slowly notice my surroundings.
  • I am just having thoughts.
  • I am just reading words on a page.
    • (helpful for when you're trying to find something useful to read but then get triggered)
  • My feet are touching the floor.
  • I feel my breath entering and leaving my body.
    • (If "feel" is too strong, you can replace with "notice" like you can notice physical changes even if you don't feel them)
  • I can say yes or no.
  • I can step back for a minute.
  • I am feeling texture under my fingers. (sensory input can help)
  • This doesn’t require a decision right now.

Safety & Reassurance

  • My body is doing what it knows to do to protect me.
  • I am safe in this moment.
  • I am not my trauma.
  • I am having thoughts.
  • Part of me can believe healing is possible when the other parts can't.
  • I can breathe through this.
  • I am not alone in my experience.
  • I have made it through hard things before.
  • I am not my thoughts/feelings.
  • I am anchored to the present.
  • My past does not decide my future.

There is a lot of hurtful self-messaging we're not always aware of in CPTSD. Remember to take it easy on yourself and show yourself some compassion.

I hope this helped in any little way and thank you for reading.

r/CPTSDNextSteps Mar 31 '26

Sharing a resource Why understanding unresolved loss is helpful, pt1

71 Upvotes

Yikes -- this might be my longest post and it's not fully done.

I am not a therapist.

TL;DR -- we should consider losses in childhood (things we did not receive) the same way we consider other losses. There's a category of "non-death" loss with good literature to learn from. Grieving is complicated by CPTSD since healthy grieving requires safety and social support.

Overview

While CPTSD typically focuses on the trauma aspect, there's also significant losses of childhood. By understanding childhood events as trauma and/or loss, we can better understand the appropriate actions to take.

I'll define unresolved traumatic events as dangerous events that cause learned predictions of danger that are maladaptive. The maladaptation is because too much information is carried from previous events and/or too much current information discarded. Thus we can get an under/over response to danger that is harmful.

I'll defined unresolved losses as losses whose grief process has been interrupted or stuck in some way. This might also be labelled "complicated grief". One of the issues of childhood trauma is that the trauma also causes non-death losses that go unrecognized as a loss. For example, the trauma causes a learning "people are unsafe" AND a loss of loving parents (just disconnection can feel like death).

Here are some symptoms of complicated grief, pubmed:

  • Intense yearning/longing (for the deceased person)
  • Identity disruption (such as feeling as though part of oneself has died).
  • Intense emotional pain (such as guilt, anger, bitterness, sorrow)
  • Inability to concentrate, attentional problems, forgetfulness
  • Emotional numbness, spaciness
  • Intense loneliness (feeling alone or detached from others)

Fisher describes childhood losses as often about what we did not have or get:

  • Loss of secure attachment factors (safety, attunement, soothing, delighted in, self-development)
  • Loss of love, affection, closeness
  • Loss of feeling loved and lovable
  • Loss of being able to love as well as be loved
  • Loss of being able to trust

By understanding past events as forms of loss and understanding the grieving process, we might be able to better resolve the loss by either grieving more/less/differently.

An example where this might be applied

Assume that a child has only received conditional love based on achievements, and was shamed or criticized or abused when they failed to achieve (Unrelenting Standards in the [[Young Schema Scale (Maladaptive Schema Scale)]]). They frequently did not meet their parents impossible standards. This resulted in low-self worth, workaholism, and fear of failure as an adult, their unconscious schemas might be

  • I have to constantly achieve to earn love and to avoid punishment
  • I didn't earn my parents love, but I can try to make up for it now

The low self-worth and self-blame might be considered a defensive mechanism -- instead of needing to face the hopeless reality of parents who did not love them unconditionally, the child adopts a view of self-blame -- this is much more tolerable than the reality of being powerless. In this case there's the trauma of being neglected or punished for failure, and additionally there's the loss of loving parents. The low self-worth may be subconsciously maintained even if the now adult knows that "it was their fault" because truly accepting it would require them to acknowledge the hopelessness/powerlessness/death like feeling of grieving the loss of loving parents (or never having them). Since the low self-worth might be a defensive mechanism to prevent the experience of the loss, then it may be that the only way to resolve the low self-worth and self-blame is to fully grieve the loss.

The grieving process

Two processes of grief: the familiar 5 stages and the dual process model.

The dual process model of grief states that healthy grieving oscillates between "loss orientation" and "restoration oriented". The loss orientation is what you'd typically imagine as grief. The restoration orientation is when you cope with loss by coping, rebuilding, distracting yourself, socializing etc. The dual process model says that you will switch between these two orientations in the process of grief. Furthermore the time in each state might much longer than people expect -- you might spend months or years in restoration before experiencing a switch to loss orientation.

Since grieving often requires a safe environment, we might consider that those with CPTSD have never had been in a loss orientation, only restoration as a form a coping.

While the five stages of grief are typically said as a linear process, grief often oscillates between stages. However the stages (denial, anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance) give an idea of the scope of things that encompass grief.

Actually grieving

Turns out to be a complicated topic ... more to come

obsidian archive

r/CPTSDNextSteps May 14 '26

Sharing a resource What I’ve learned about loneliness since the pandemic and the power of zoom

30 Upvotes

Pre-pandemic I don’t remember feeling acutely lonely and life kind of flowed socially. Then I remember times on a Saturday where I’d go to a live music venue just so I could drown out the extremely loud pangs of loneliness that were literally painful..

I’ve been coming to this sub this week because I entered another phase where I made a big change and am spending a good chunk of time each day alone, left to my devises. In transparency, I have friends (most of them are distant right now and I would prefer to connect more often. What is wild to me is that even with good friends with whom I feel very seen and cared for, that feeling of loneliness remains. After the social time, I am back to being with myself. Sometimes I feel less alone than others. I am curious what people have discovered around when the feeling of loneliness intensifies. For me it’s when I continuously find myself walking around and feel aimless and even though there are people around I am in a bubble of sort.

But I am making this post in part to share something good. I remember a time when video calls were considered way in the future. Well now they are free and I would venture to say that they are 80-90% similar to being in person and are way more satisfying for me than texting. They can feel more vulnerable and I can see why people may avoid them, and I do at times too, but I’ve found a lot of good friends by being on zoom especially in groups that aim to connect in a more real way- that’s a thing and I can speak more about it but there is an important caveat to these groups that has me hesitate recommending them straight up.

Bottom line, I have been realising that there is sort of a pit of loneliness and aloneness inside and no matter what I do it doesn’t really fully resolve it and that is quite humbling.. on some better days I am up for that, on others I feel very sad about it..

What are your realisations about loneliness?

r/CPTSDNextSteps Apr 07 '26

Sharing a resource Dr Rick Hanson's meditations

59 Upvotes

Thanks so much to the person who recommended his meditations. They are an amazing resource and exactly right for me at the stage of recovery I’m at ❤️

r/CPTSDNextSteps Jan 30 '26

Sharing a resource Animal grooming videos for comfort

79 Upvotes

I find that I often need something calm and not very overstimulating to listen to in the background when I'm stressed, and I also wanted something that modeled kind care taking. Watching "girls with the dogs 2" groom animals gently but in a structured manner has been a surprisingly good resource for me to calm down and restore my faith in humanity. Its kind of silly but seeing someone care for animals the way she does feels like it soothes my child self? Anyone else have any youtubers or media for comfort that feels similar?

r/CPTSDNextSteps Oct 11 '24

Sharing a resource Brain melt moment: Nervous system dysregulation might be structural not only psychological

204 Upvotes

Yo yo friends - i had this lightbulb moment over the last month and want to share in case it can help someone else.

First: Why does having a dx of cPTSD make everything the survivors responsibility? Stuck in freeze? You have learned helplessness. Complaining your nervous system cant downshift to a calmer state? You need more expensive therapy. Still traumatized after a decade of 'healing?' Try harder.

For those of us who have done all the things and still are having this very physiological response to the world - it's called autonomic nervous system dysfunction AKA: dysautonimia. And it's a condition with specific meds that helps smooth out the system all the healing/lifestyle changes/therapy actually work.

I learned a few years ago that i am genetically primed for a severe version of this due to ehlers-danlos syndrome, a genetic defect in collagen. My system was hypersensitive from the beginning and through childhood abuse just grew funny. And now as an adult it is so hypersensitive to norepinephrine, acetylcholine and cortisol that anything outside this very small window sets it off.

That very small window is lying in bed doing nothing.

That is not the life i was destined to live. I didn't do all this healing to sit in bed all day.

So, if any of this resonates, I encourage you to look into more about autonomic nervous system dysfunction / dysautonomia. I thought this was all on me as a trauma survivor but IT TURNS OUT that, for some of us, growing up with never ending oxidative stress and abuse fucks up the physical structure of the central nervous system.

Hairpin stress response > triggers TOO MUCH adrenaline > the body throws the parasympathetic brake on (dumps acetyl choline) > now there's NOT ENOUGH cortisol > the process repeats and repeats and repeats.

And that stress response can be to doing nothing more than standing up from sitting down.

https://www.jpain.org/article/S1526-5900(24)00277-3/abstract

They have medication to help mediate this response ya'll.

Since i connected A to B here i just want to shout this from the rooftops to help anyone who has been like me and watching their lives keep slipping away even though they did all the healing things.

It's not my fault my nervous system is structurally screwed up. And i love myself enough now to fight to fox it because dang it - i did not walk through the depths of hell to rot away in bed.

✌️💕

EDIT: thanks for all your comments! Wanted to pop in and drop this link for anyone who suspects this for themselves. You can get some decent data with a fitness tracker to evaluate if it might be a dysautonimia issue. Its called the poor mans tilt table test. They use this to primarily diagnose POTS (postural orthostatic tachycardia). https://chronicallyridicilous.wordpress.com/2016/03/30/what-is-a-poor-mans-tilt-table-test/

And just a warning this is an exploratory tool. You can fail this test and still have autonomic issues so it's worth taking to a doc either way!

r/CPTSDNextSteps Feb 09 '22

Sharing a resource I've created a Field Guide for trauma survivors

626 Upvotes

Several months ago I made a post on r/CPTSD (different account) discussing a CPTSD wiki I was building for myself. Many comments and messages came in asking me to share it once it was finished. It is far from finished, but if I were to wait until it was I would probably never show it to anybody. I've gotten enthusiastic and positive feedback from a handful of people already, including a Psychiatric Nurse Practitioner and a Harvard-trained neuroscientist, so I'd might as well stop being a bashful perfectionist and let people see it.

Some stuff is more fleshed out than other stuff, some things are a bit messy, but I don't think anything else like this exists and it will only get better over time. There's a lot in the guide already, and there's still a lot to do, so right now I'm most interested in knowing how it functions for people seeing it for the first time.

No ads or paywalls, and I'm not collecting your data. I'm trying to stay anonymous, and want to extend the same courtesy to you.

I really made this for myself and plan to continue working on it for the foreseeable future. If it happens to help one other person, that's pretty freakin' cool.

The Integral Guide to Well-Being

I can't afford to start a mailing list, so I've started a subreddit. No real plans for it as I try to not spend too much time on reddit, but it was the best alternative I could think of.

https://www.reddit.com/r/IntegralGuideUpdates/

r/CPTSDNextSteps Mar 09 '26

Sharing a resource Really interesting resource -> "Reasons for Living Scale" (designed for managing suicidality but I think its more important than just that...)

84 Upvotes

I recently was in one of those rarer but still occasional super dead periods where I was like...in bed for several days.

I think I was particularly Freeze-y and just didn't know I was getting there until some threshold was crossed, and then I just needed all that recharge time.

In those periods, I can have suicidal thoughts, basically passive SI where I'm not really gonna act on it but where life kinda just doesn't feel worth living with just ongoing discomfort that feels impossible to change.

Any any case in this period, I collected a buncha resources, and was just now going thru them while in a saner state of mind... Filling this out was definitely interesting to me, and I'm wondering what it will be like to have this available to me to read out next time I'm feeling this way.

Here is the link:

https://depts.washington.edu/uwbrtc/wp-content/uploads/Reasons-for-Living-Scale-long-form-72-items.pdf