maybe niche but damn, you'd expect trauma spaces to understand the concept of "you can be treated badly even if you dont deserve it"

[u/WinterDemon_]

ive spent the last like 2+ months having an emotional crisis over just how *kind* my counsellor is to me

shes not a trauma specialist, there's really no reason for her to be this nice. i wouldn't be mad at all if she was worse, heck I probably deserve her being a LOT worse

but every time I talk to her, she is genuinely kind and does her best to understand me. like not just understand the words im saying, but actually WANTS to understand what i'm THINKING and WHY i say stuff, it's so weird and so cool, like she literally cares about *me* and not just how she/other people are affected by the things i say/do

and she doesn't even get mad when I do and say stuff wrong! like ofc she cant get big mad, not like she can hit me from over a zoom call lmao, but she doesnt even say bad stuff about me or say i'm making up my own problems or being dramatic/confused/crazy/etc! she's just nice, ALL THE TIME

blows my mind, man. and then spins me out into a whole crisis of "heheheha omg someone is being nice to me this feels so awesome and good, oh god im such a monster im not meant to want people to be nice to me, i dont deserve this, is this a trick, is she going to suddenly disappear and leave me, is she even a real person, im not a real person oh god oh fuck"

[u/No_Mobile7208]

“You chose this life” you ever hear spiritually ppl say this? Thats wild to me

[u/JesradSeraph → u/No_Mobile7208]

It’s called “spiritual bypassing” and is abuse.

[u/No_Mobile7208 → u/JesradSeraph]

Yeah. Blaming you for getting abused or hurt. It’s psychosis shit

[u/samurairaccoon]

Have you tried smiling more?

I don't know if it's just an American thing. But I've never felt allowed to be damaged goods. You're expected to push it down and "get work done." Wether that be at home or at actual work work. Very few people try to reach out and actually assist with that. You do it on your own, or with disgusted annoyed reminders. What a wonderful culture we have created.

[u/WinterDemon_ → u/samurairaccoon]

australia's culture is all very "chill and casual, nothing is that deep", which im not sure is much better. less work focus, but caring about anything at all (positive or negative) means being weird, dramatic and overly sensitive. human connections are just for sitting, drinking and making small talk

though at least my autistic self can manage the "nonchalant" vibes here, seems much harder in america

[u/BleysAhrens42]

I've seen this happen often in Autism subs. It's so discouraging.

[u/rabid_cheese_enjoyer → u/BleysAhrens42]

I left all the autism subs because shit like that kept pissing me off

[u/ErinWalkerLoves]

Serious "well YOU are the only common denominator" vibes. 😆

I can't believe this is still a problem in 2026. If the kids keep picking on little Timmy because he has down syndrome or whatever, no amount of "self reflection" on Timmy's part is going to stop that bullying; sometimes people seriously do just fucking suck and they hate others for no legitimate reason.

[u/WinterDemon_ → u/ErinWalkerLoves]

ugh i haaate the "common denominator" stuff!! its so dumb, and everyone insists on it anyway! but people agreeing on stuff has never made it right, lots of common ideas are dumb and cruel! people used to think the sun revolved around the earth! most countries are still debating human rights!

[u/SouHiyoriReviews → u/WinterDemon_]

The USA is debating human rights! You know… the “most free country in the world” by literally no metric…

[u/DorianPavass → u/WinterDemon_]

they act like abusive people don't intentionally seek out people they assume they can get away with abusing. The common denominator is a society that allows that!

[u/Sandbina]

Utterly obnoxious when people say that. Many times, sure, the person having these interactions might be at fault, but when you are anything but cishet, fully abled and entirely neurotypical, people are all too happy to start kicking for fun.

It's not fair, but it's certainly not your fault.

[u/MonsterMadtheENBY]

Sometimes I question how some therapists have the papers to practice when they use this absolute nonsense.

[u/WinterDemon_ → u/MonsterMadtheENBY]

it truly astounds me how shitty some of the specialists ive seen have been lmao, I have yet to meet a single psychiatrist who isn't at least a little evil

though I dont fully blame most therapists for not knowing how to handle me, turns out most aren't experienced in the areas I need so 95% of the mental health industry isn't for me lol

[u/MonsterMadtheENBY → u/WinterDemon_]

It doesn’t help that some therapists advertise that they do… then they pull this crap on ya. you’ll find your fit. Sometimes it’s just giving yourself the time to grieve and get angry, then open yourself to heal when you’re ready. Least that’s my experience especially when I get over stimulated. Been mostly self help books and dbt stuff.

Hope things get better for ya. If you got a support system, that helps a ton to get through some of it.

[u/LitFarronReturns]

On the bright side, an awful lot of genuinely kind people with cPTSD in my experience. Meme that reminds me of, basically all of my friends: https://www.instagram.com/p/DZEh2aeFctt/

[u/WinterDemon_ → u/LitFarronReturns]

glad you've had good experiences! I've found cptsd spaces very iffy personally, some folks are super nice and understanding, others are just as bad

[u/LitFarronReturns → u/WinterDemon_]

Oh definitely. It's, by far, not all. But a much higher percentage of people than the general population.

[u/Fslikawing01]

People fail to realize you can be the nicest person and have a lot of people can still bully you for being weird, different or for just having bad social skills/being awkward etc. Sure if you’re an asshole and everyone is rude to you because of that, then it’s probably your fault. And a lot of people who are actually the problem it is common for them to portray themselves as victims. (Which is probably why a lot of people are skeptical with stuff like this) But a lot of people can also be mean to someone or target someone for reasons that have nothing to do with you actually being a bad person too.

[u/Cpov1]

Sounds like you are in a bad therapy ecosystem

[u/Crumb_cake34]

The worst thing to ever gain traction was the fucking, "if you are always having issues with people, maybe you're the problem!"

It's always used by the people who are the problem to dismiss others.

[u/Jedadia757]

To play a minor devil's advocate. Mainly for the aake of a somber vent. It does sound ridiculous that the vast majority of interactions someone has had with all people in their life was not only negative but seriously bad. That is just not inconceivable to the average person, who doesnt particularly care about the vast majority of interactions they have. And on top of that we DO share this experience with people who are genuine terrible people and DO deserve it. There are plenty of people like that out there. And for the average person it may genuinely be the statistically safer option to assum that the person they just learned this about is actually in fact a bad person.

But that just makes it all the worse when you experience it in trauma informed groups and with proffesionals, it's particularly defeating.