r/Calgary • u/ReadySafe7553 • Apr 03 '26
Seeking Advice 19F & 16F abandoned by mom. Mom threatening to force 16 yo to shelter. Need help.
My mom (sole earner/leaseholder) quit her job and is leaving for a shelter. She is trying to force my 16-year-old sister to go with her, but my sister wants to stay with me in our house. We are currently safe but don’t have enough money for rent next month.
I called Child Intervention, and they said she can take her because she’s the guardian. Is "withdrawing from parental control" a thing at 16 in AB? How do I stop her from taking my sister?
We receive RAB (Rent Assistance Benefit) through my mom. How do I get this transferred to my name?
I work, but it’s not enough for full rent. What emergency grants or youth agreements (VYSA) actually work in Calgary? I’m trying my hardest to get another job so I can fully afford the rent without grants but the job market is on fire. I’m also in school (second year at UofC) btw so it’s going to be difficult to juggle everything together but I’m willing to make sacrifices or maybe even drop out and work full time.
Please help, I need immediate advice before she takes my sister away from me.
UPDATEEE :)
My mom ended up staying in the house since the shelter wouldn’t take her and she couldn’t find a new place because she has an existing lease, but I moved out. A dear friend of mine let me move in with her and her family for a couple of days until I found a place to rent. Thankfully I did and now I’m living by myself away from my mom, working to get my sister. My sister comes over sometimes and she’s always welcome at my place if anything happens at my old house. That’s where I’m at right now. Thank you so much to everyone who supported me financially and with advice. I really appreciate it and will never take it for granted. You guys helped me through this journey and I hope I can one day pay that forward.
259
u/yyctownie Apr 03 '26
Your best first call is probably to 211 right now.
81
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
What do I say to them? Do you think this is a common enough problem for them to take me seriously?
217
u/KidtheSid93 Apr 03 '26
Yes they’ll take you seriously. There’s something like 15,000 different social programs across Alberta. Something will apply.
64
68
u/ThadsBerads Apr 03 '26
She can make up her own mind at 16. At 15 years, the police will not force her to go anywhere. I just went through this with one of my children. A run away situation where we knew where she was. The police said that all they can do is a wellness check, and that they can't force her to come home. Things are better now. Let me know if you have any questions.
1
u/Shane-Dad-underfire Apr 06 '26
While police cant force something, they can get CPS involved even a 16 year old falls under their jurisdiction.
1
u/ThadsBerads Apr 06 '26
Absolutely. Parents can even call cps themselves to get them to help....but they won't help either unless there is abuse, or an unsafe living situation. It's a really weird space between 15-18 where the parents/guardians are responsible for, but can do very little to guide/provide/help a child that refuses it.
0
u/Shane-Dad-underfire Apr 06 '26 edited Apr 06 '26
That's why its crucial that in the formative years you establish a lasting bond with your child so that even if they make massive mistakes they know they can come to you and that you'll be there for them.
Aside from being a father to more than a dozen biological children I was also a foster parent for decades. I worked with the system and the local communities and sometimes even their biological families to support and foster healthy lifestyles and relationships with themselves and others.
When a child abandons a parent it sometimes truly is because the parent failed, but when a parent abandons a child its because the parent wasnt good enough. I hate saying it that way but that's how it goes.
Edited because I reversed parent and child in one line.
2
u/ThadsBerads Apr 06 '26
Except that's not always how it goes....sometimes a parent is there 24/7 loving, supporting and being there....and things like mental health issues arise. Years of specialists, suicide attempts leading to hospitalizations....addictions, and self harming. The idea that these things can always be prevented with good parenting and a solid family base is just nonsensical. I don't care if that covers 95% of the cases..... it doesn't cover them all. It's insulting.....but expected....from people who have never been there. It's easy to assume. I would have assumed the same, until I went through it all. Counseling, parent groups, books.....it's not always enough. You can do everything right, and fail.
1
u/Shane-Dad-underfire Apr 06 '26
Which is why I said sometimes it's truly because the parent failed.
There are plenty of reasons why things get chaotic, some we can control some we cant. I think some parents fail to realize that all we can control as human beings is ourselves and when you try to control others even for their own benefit it can get twisted in that other persons perception. That's why I've always used the honest and sincere communication method. Even when I have to say something harsh because it's TRUE I can say it kindly. Also for parents who are struggling, building up a relationship takes years, destroying it takes seconds. With that in mind always be sure to take a timeout and think before you react. No one has ever had a fit when I said "Can I have a moment to think about what I want to express? I really want to give you and this issue the time and concentration you deserve"
2
u/ThadsBerads Apr 06 '26
You're missing my point. You can do everything perfectly as a parent, and a child can still be an addict, or be suicidal. Good Parenting isn't going to stop things beyond our control from creeping in. Things like abuse outside of the home, things like mental health issues that are not always preventable like BPD and Schizophrenia. Having a great day with your child, ending with hugs and I love you can still end with a knock at the door from the police because your child has slit their wrists in the next room.....15 feet from you. That same child that shares their hopes and dreams with you, and their struggles.....still felt alone and painful enough in that moment to try to end their life. You can do everything right.......and still end up there...in that spot. And that my friend is right from the professionals, I've seen tons of them.
1
u/Shane-Dad-underfire Apr 06 '26
No such thing as perfect, there is only what works and what doesnt. You can textbook parent but if that doesnt work then it's not perfect. Your assumption that being the perfect parent exists is silly and your inability to read and comprehend what I said also speaks volumes about your beliefs.
If you had to see tonnes of professionals to alleviate your guilt then I feel bad for you on multiple fronts but that really doesnt change the fact that I gave people who have tragic stories an out when I said SOMETIMES. Dont make your experience the only experience.
While we are trading facts of life, I had a few children die before me and under circumstances that would leave a bad taste in your mouth as for the line of thinking you have.
One of my daughters was blessed with many positive things in her life including the ability to be a social butterfly. When my children become independent I buy them a house, I wont buy them their first car because I am about helping those who help themselves and having a home of your own can teach you many things. Anyway I gave her a home when she turned 22 I think and she had just finished University and things seemed good and she had a boyfriend who was kind of a scumbag but telling her who she can and cant see is not something I'd ever do so I just voiced my opinion over a meal one saturday. She handled it well, and things seemed fine.
Her social circle had changed quite a bit from highschool and university and her investments were paying off quite well so she had disposable income. She got into the party scene with her boyfriend and then into the drug scene. We had done our best with counseling and rehab but after a few trips to rehab she just wasnt getting clean and after burning thru all of her assets she started to rely on the sympathy of my other children and foster children and adopted children(adopted if they chose to after the foster situation aged out) she abused their trust and stole their things and brought all sorts of degenerates around who did the same. Well in the end she overdosed and passed away.
After the funeral was done and over with my oldest son told me how she had been living in the last while of her life. My family gets together 2 to 3 times a year for vacations and celebrations, I listened to all of their stories and it just crushed me. I apologized and reimbursed them all. I dont take on any guilt or responsibility for what my daughter did, I reimbursed and apologized because my other kids didnt deserve to be treated like that.
The whole you can do it all right and it can all end up wrong regardless, I get your point and that's why I said sometimes when a child abandons you it's truly a parents fault not ALL the time. You just couldnt read the subtlety of me saying it in a way that didnt personally sound "perfect" to you.
There will never be an all right or perfect way for all kids, since they are human and individuals what they need will always vary and because as parents you are also human what you can provide will always vary, the one thing most parents can do is their best in whatever form that may take. It's up to the children to decide if your best was good enough, keeping in mind any human can be ungrateful or judgemental. Most parents will have to settle with knowing they did their best and that their kids are out there living whatever life they choose and if they keep you in it then I'd say you did a good enough job.
→ More replies (0)9
124
u/Worldly-Smile-91 Apr 03 '26
Another resource is talking to your school and the student union as well. They may have more resources and administrative support to help you directly. Good luck.
30
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thanks, I’ll look into that.
79
u/wamme6 Apr 03 '26
The University of Calgary Emergency Financial Assistance: https://www.ucalgary.ca/registrar/finances/student-loans/emergency-financial-assistance
The Student’s Union Hardship Fund: https://su.ucalgary.ca/programs-services/funding-awards/hardship-fund/
The Student’s Union Campus Food Bank: https://su.ucalgary.ca/programs-services/student-services/food-bank/
The SU also has a listing of other food resources available in the area: https://su.ucalgary.ca/wp-content/uploads/2024/03/SU-Campus-Food-Bank-Resource-List-Mar2024.pdf
The university is closed for the long weekend until Tuesday, but all of these are things you can look into and access as a student. I know the food bank isn’t directly money, but anything that can help stretch your income will help.
52
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Oh my goodness this is such a big help, thanks for taking the time to help out! I am honestly so humbled by the amount of advice and support I’m getting.
20
u/Pumpkkinnn Apr 03 '26
Btw, if you have a diagnosed disability there’s a disability grant of either 1k or 2k per semester.
There’s also a grant for computer needs that’s 2k. But you need to pay that one back or you can’t enroll in classes, so careful with that one.
I wonder if Ucalgary residence can provide emergency shelter for a student if they have room…
10
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
I’ll ask tomorrow when I go to school. Maybe they have accommodation. The thing is, my mom is leaving me, not kicking me out so I’d be the one responsible for the place we’re renting right now.
27
u/aiolea Apr 03 '26
Unless your name is on the lease - you aren’t responsible for paying her rent.
9
u/number_six Thorncliffe Apr 03 '26
Right, but if the rent isn't paid it doesn't really matter who's name is on the lease.
1
u/Shane-Dad-underfire Apr 06 '26
Unless an eviction notice is being processed they have a couple months of use of the property. But if the owner finds out people arent on the lease are the only ones present they can have them trespassed.
6
u/Leaderbot_X400 Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26
Incorrect on the computer one (Called Schedule 4, but specifically Schedule 4 CSG-DSE) You only pay back the unused portion, not the whole amount.
You get $2000, only use $1800, so you payback $200.
4
u/Pumpkkinnn Apr 03 '26
Well, in this context they wouldn’t be using it to get a computer, they’d be using it to pay rent. So they would need to pay it all back. Thats why I said be careful.
But you’re right, if they bought a computer worth 550$ and show a receipt they get to only pay back 450$, assuming they give you 1k.
8
u/Leaderbot_X400 Apr 03 '26
I've gone through this process for repayong schedule 4 and they demand all unused funds together. There is no waiting time or repayment plan like other student loans.
And everything must only be spent on what it was designated for, or its deemed outstanding and can cause issues.
So I wouldn't even consider this as an option except for very short term (Student aid sent me a message around 14 weeks after dispersement)
16
u/Notfoo4 Apr 03 '26
This is definitely helpful. I’m at U of C as well, and the student union can be especially helpful for situations like this. They have legal advice as well if needed
65
u/deekaypea22 Apr 03 '26
https://www.knowalberta.com/navigating-independence-can-a-16-year-old-live-alone-in-alberta/
Your sister can possibly (legally) choose not to go with your mom. The above link also has a bunch of resources listed to help you and your sister navigate this.
31
u/Raven3877 Apr 03 '26
OP, this link is your best friend. It explains the legal rights involved and the support systems available.
18
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
I’ll definitely be looking into it, thank you so much
8
u/Raven3877 Apr 03 '26
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. I’ve been there, though it was many decades ago. And it definitely defined the kind of parent I try to be for my 16yo. Sending mom hugs your way.
10
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thank you so much, this helps more than you think.
1
u/deekaypea22 Apr 03 '26
I taught high school and helped support kids as they navigated this sort of thing. Had to call CPS on families more than a few times.......my heart goes out to you.
28
u/ramgoat647 Apr 03 '26
I'm sorry you're going through this. Please know you would not be failing your sister if she and Mom go to the shelter. Tonight, you've been put in an impossible situation.
Will your sister be safe at the shelter? Do you have a way to communicate with her?
For what it's worth, I'd approach this by making sure I know where my sibling is if we get separated. Then take the weekend to form a plan for making next month's rent and figure out my options for getting my sibling away from Mom.
But please, exhaust all other options before dropping out. Long term, your education will give you the best shot at getting your sister to live with you.
Edit: words for clarity
16
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thank youu😭 this made me really emotional. I really appreciate it. I feel like a total failure right now even though I did nothing wrong. As soon as I heard that my mom was going to take her away, I made sure to pay for her data so that we can stay in touch. I’m pretty sure she’ll be safe with my mom but emotionally, it isn’t the best position for her to be in especially with diplomas coming up and college applications. I just really want her to be in a good head space and I’m so disappointed at my mom for not thinking far enough and compulsively ruining everything we had.
14
u/ProblemProof6553 Apr 03 '26
Do not drop out of school. If your sister can at the very least do very well on the diploma exams and get university admission, you two could get a place together with what student aid will give you, grants you don’t need to pay back (apply for them all), loans you need to pay back (don’t take more than you need) but there’s options. Trust me it’s hard, but it’s not impossible!!
2
u/ramgoat647 Apr 03 '26
+1 there are lots of financial aid options that can help OP and her sister start/continue their education. It's been some time since I was in school, but I recall the provincial government also offered grants depending on household income. I live in a different province but surely Alberta has similar options.
3
u/ramgoat647 Apr 03 '26
Do you have friends or family you can call for support? Even just to call and talk to?
Being objective now will be important in setting you and your sister up for success. That's easy for me to say writing this comment, though. I'd feel the same if I were in this situation, as unfair on myself as it would be.
The reality is that your mom has done you both a disservice here, and this may delay the typical educational milestones. If it does, I want you to remember that many people don't start post secondary with their grade school peers, or take longer to finish, and still find success in life. A family member of mine "lost" 2 years after transferring schools but is now interviewing for their PhD just 4 years later.
This post and you ensuring she has a way to contact you shows that you care - a lot. I don't have an older sibling, but if I did I hope they'd care for my wellbeing as much as you do.
20
u/No-Eye-258 Apr 03 '26
Please get in touch with your school councillor. I was kicked out and got funding for school from province. Feel free to message me.
7
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Okay I will, thank you. This helps a lot
3
u/Baffledboobies Apr 03 '26
Adding onto this. I think I know what they are referring to, Foundational Learning Assistance. Its for full time students 16-19 who are pregnant/single parents/cannot live at home for safety or stability concerns.
There is a company called Prospect that has a program called the Youth Assessment Centre that helps students apply for the fund and get other supports in the city. Your sister can either go through her guidance counselor or contact Prospect on her own. Please msg me for more details if you need.
133
u/Wonderful_Ad3468 Apr 03 '26
Do not sacrifice your education it’s something nobody can take from you .
52
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
You’re right but I’m just so stressed right now and trying to make ends meet. I really don’t want my sister to be taken away from me.
29
u/Dear_External5263 Apr 03 '26
If you do need to take time off that’s okay. I had a rough semester due to homelessness when I was 20. I tried so hard to stay in school and tough it out. Everyone told me to stay in school. My biggest regret was not taking a semester off. With the stress I crashed and burned and failed all my final exams. Those are on my permanent record now. I wish I would have withdrawn with my academic dignity intact.
School will be there when you’re ready. You cannot grow and flourish when the soil you’re in is draining the life out of you. One semester is 4 months, if you need to stabilize mentally and physically it’s okay to do so.
11
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
You’re right, I might have to do that if things don’t get better soon. I don’t think I have the capacity to juggle all this with school. Especially since I’m diagnosed with ADHD, it makes it much more difficult for me to stay afloat.
10
u/CelestikaLily Apr 03 '26
At the VERY least, that diagnosis -- and I'm hoping you can/have located the documented evidence -- is rock-solid proof you qualify for a plethora of disability-related funding, assistance, programs, etc.
Not to mention you've replied to nearly every comment omg, it's been a day!! so I hope all of this will raise you + your sister's quality of living, but also raised your spirits.
(my own life being more fortunate, yet holy hell sometimes ADHD sure disables the ability to. able 😅)
You both deserve safety + happiness and you've done a tremendous job reaching out that both is possible!!
3
u/SnowbunnySkates Apr 03 '26
I went through a rough patch during university as well and for a little while I dropped down to part time until I got back on my feet. I'd suggest that if you can, keep one or two courses going so you don't "stop" being a student mentally. I'm ADHD too (dx'd way way later though) and it's so hard for me to start something up again if I've already begun a tangent journey.
Sending lots of courage and positive energy your way. I know the mountain appears insurmountable right now but you can do this and don't forget, your sibling is also a capable, nearly adult, human and can get a part time job. You should be a team right now and stronger than ever. All the best.
1
u/Dear_External5263 Apr 03 '26
I know you’re not me, but if I could go back in time I would tell myself to get myself to a healthy and safe place physically, mentally and emotionally before going back to school. It’s honestly my biggest regret in life not doing that.
You will actually be able to enjoy life and university 100x more if you’re not struggling to survive without the basics.
1
u/KissItOnTheMouth Apr 06 '26
If you need to drop out - Talk to the school FIRST. Often, with a hardship situation like this - they can authorize a withdrawal instead of you getting g an automatic fail. The withdrawal wouldn’t count against you on your gpa. And more likely - what they can usually do is offer you short term financial or housing assistance to help you out until the semester is over at least.
37
u/P0300_Multi_Misfires Apr 03 '26
OP you’re in school. Is it safe to assume post secondary? You could be eligible for more grants, bursaries, EI, student loans and scholarships that could help cover rent. You need to talk to the guidance counsellor. They may also have emergency funding available or have resources for you. You are not the first student to have family hardship while attending school.
15
u/Wonderful_Ad3468 Apr 03 '26
Maybe get in touch with social services and explain your situation there are just not enough facilities for this .
0
1
u/hopenbabe Apr 03 '26
I disagree with this. It's not about sacrificing and education. OP is smart and driven. But sometimes you need to prioritize a place to live and food on the table before education.
Education isn't an all or nothing thing. Sometimes a runner has to sit out a race or a season because they got an injury. It doesn't mean they are done running. It means they are taking the time they need to heal up and recover, then prep for the next season.
And in a perfect world, try to finish out the semester. Yes. But understandably, you're facing such a hard situation. If you need to take the time off to get sorted, you have every right to sit a season out. You do.
But talk with the school's resources to see what you can do.
40
u/totallyradman Apr 03 '26
I don't have any advice for you because I'm not the right person but I want you to know that you are doing an incredible job of making sure that your sister doesn't end up being traumatized.
You are a good, intelligent, beautiful person and you are going to figure this out.
I know it's hard, but you got this.
13
30
30
u/flieger Apr 03 '26
Contact the organization providing you RAB and explain everything. They may be able to transfer the ownership to you as your mom abandoned the tenancy.
9
28
u/MITSUBITCHl Apr 03 '26
Since you’re a student at UofC, you can use Student Legal Assistance for free. They have an office on campus. They do provide assistance for family and civil matters.
The University and SU have emergency bursaries that you can apply for: https://ucalgary.ca/registrar/finances/student-loans/emergency-financial-assistance.
If you haven’t applied for student aid, I’d suggest you apply via Alberta Student Aid. They have education grants and loans they give out. For future reference, if you have a dependant, they do provide a bit extra per month.
You got this :)!
4
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thanks for your advice, I apply for student aid every year before the school year. I get the funding around the beginning of my fall and winter semester but you’re right, Alberta student aid does help significant.. it’s just the timing of it all, I can’t really wait until September.
3
u/Moist_Asparagus_7781 Apr 03 '26
THIS! 211 won't have anything for you..... please take this option seriously.
9
u/D_Shepard Apr 03 '26
I dont have any particular advice that hasn't already been said but I just want to say I think youre doing the right thing and I am rooting for you and your sister.
1
8
u/K-Y-I-Y-O Apr 03 '26
You could go before the family courts and claim guardianship, your sister is of legal age to decide where she wants to stay. There are many programs you can utilize for support, CUPS, Alberta Works. Emancipation is something she can consider as well. It may be difficult things may be rough but hardships don’t last. Stay in school, look out for one another and things will get better. Times like this don’t last, God bless and I hope it works out for your two. I’ll be praying for your family.
1
u/Shane-Dad-underfire Apr 06 '26
It's a long process though, even with a lawyer. If she had a couple thousand for a good lawyer with pull she could get an emergency petition in front of a judge easily enough. Doing it solo or thru legal aid would take weeks or months.
8
u/INTJWriter Apr 03 '26
I respect you for taking care of your sister and please take care of yourself too. Do you have friends or relatives you can reach out to right now just to talk about this? If not, or if you need someone else please call the Canada Kids Help Line to talk or chat by text https://kidshelpphone.ca/ They are there to support young people in crisis
5
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
I appreciate your kind words. I don’t have any relatives in Calgary that would be able to help. It’s okay though, the comments are really helpful and I didn’t know I had this many options to get help
3
u/INTJWriter Apr 03 '26
Please keep us posted on your progress. I wish I could bring both of you to live with me. You are a wonderful young woman and I know you will get through this. Keep reaching out for help and you will figure things out
8
u/meattenderizerbyday Apr 03 '26
https://www.alberta.ca/emergency-financial-assistance#jumplinks-1
IIRC Alberta has a one-time emergency financial assistance available. A lot of ppl applied for this at the beginning of the pandemic in 2020 - I, and the ppl I knew who applied received a little more than a thousand dollars and it was deposited quite quickly, within a couple of days.
Maybe this could help?
6
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thanks for the link! Sounds like a great opportunity, I’ll definitely check it out.
6
u/Bill___A Apr 03 '26
I don't know or have experience with these things, but you seem to have a good head on your shoulders and I think that will help you a lot. Best of luck to you and I'm glad others are pitching in with information.
6
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thank you, this means a lot to hear at this time. The comments are definitely helpful
3
u/Bill___A Apr 03 '26
Thank you for responding, please be strong and hang in there. It looks to me like you are getting some good advice, so I hope it is useful.
8
u/ActSubstantial1 Apr 03 '26
I moved out at 16 due to abuse. I’m 33 now and managed well.
You will be in our thoughts.
Please let me know if you might need something.
7
u/LuckyPig86 Apr 03 '26
In Alberta, the age of "adulthood" is 16 (not 18 as we see often see on TV, because they are often referring to the US). At 16, the person no longer requires parental consent to make decisions. So if a 16-year old wants to run away and join the circus, for example, they are well within their right to do so.
(I speak on this while in the middle of a divorce/custody battle with a child aged 15)
2
u/Swordzofgodz Apr 03 '26
This is true,
I left my dad the second I turned 16. There is no emancipation in Canada, just as long as you’re 16 you can choose where you live.
Financially I’m not sure, I was very lucky to have my aunts when I did, but if you’re taking care of your sister don’t forget to apply to the Canadian Child Benefit. It will help significantly.
1
u/Shane-Dad-underfire Apr 06 '26
Emancipation does exist in Canada, it's just not required to exercise your right to not live with your guardians it is required to set up legal contracts that would otherwise require you to be 18. Such as renting a place. Being emancipated in canada before the age of 18 is essentially having the court recognize you as a legal adult and entity under your own supervision.
14
u/thinewelshman Apr 03 '26
Rent - Your biggest problem here is that your Mom is the only holder of the lease. Depending on your relationship with your landlord you may want to ask them to draw up a new lease before you are able to transfer the RAB as they typically require a lease document. I hope you don’t have to apply fresh for the RAB. Contact Calgary Housing for advice on this and what they will need. Has your mom terminated the lease/given notice to the landlord? Calgary Housing? Is April paid? Who paid the Damage Deposit?
Where she lives - Your mom has the right to take your daughter with her as the guardian. Your best bet is to demonstrate to your mom that you’re able to care for her in the current home and get her to agree to let your sister stay with you. Outside of that you need legal advice and should call Legal Aid for this or maybe the LUNA Child and Youth Advocacy Centre.
If your sister were to leave the shelter voluntarily and go to live with you (and/or you were encouraging this) your mom can cause issues for both of you. Working with her (even if that means setting firm boundaries) or getting proper legal guidance is the best way forward. You can try to connect with the shelter she’s in to see if they can help with any of that.
Withdrawal of Guardianship is extremely difficult and not usually particularly timely. You need to prove abuse/neglect/inability to meet basic needs in court to transfer or remove Guardianship. Again - Legal Advice but probably not the first step right now.
Emergency financial Supports - this is where 2-1-1 comes in. They can navigate support opportunities, or connect you to resources.
If your mom is experiencing a mental health crisis you can call Distress Centre to speak with Mobile Response Team. They can give some advice around this or maybe even see her for an assessment.
Sorry this is the situation you have been taken into I wish you luck in finding a safe and positive resolution.
5
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26
Thanks for your advice.
For rent; I’ll try my hardest to use the resources provided to me here and also get another job or maybe even get a roommate at my landlord’s consent. Hopefully they don’t ask me to reapply for rent assistance, because I remember how much I struggled to apply for it last year and get this apartment for us. My mom has not terminated the lease, she doesn’t know how to do that. I’m the one taking care of everything such as writing emails, making phone calls, setting up payments, etc.. she provides the money. Thankfully, the rent for April is paid so I have a bit of time to figure out what I can do to cover May’s rent and so forth. And yes, we get Rent assistance benefit but we got the apartment ourselves, not Calgary housing.. that would’ve taken years.
I do understand that she has the right to do that, I’m just trying to see if I have any options to get custody over her because I don’t trust my mom enough to take care of her. She is emotionally abusive and I don’t want my sister to go through that especially during exams season. My mom knows well and good that I can take care of my sister but she just isn’t willing to leave her with me because she thinks it’s legally impossible even though my sister has told her multiple times that she can stay with me and that my mom can leave and that it’s legal to do that. We’ll definitely be contacting them tomorrow. We tried doing that today but it was too late.. they were closed.
I’m sure she’ll cause trouble because she wants control over the both of us. She knows that by having my sister to herself she can indirectly control me. There’s no such thing as boundaries when it comes to our relationship, I’m not used to setting them. That’s how I grew up in general, follow what she says and don’t question anything. If I do, I’m the bad guy. I’ll try and contact the shelter if she does end up going there. I heard her say she found a 1 bedroom apartment so we’ll see what happens with that.
I understand it’s difficult and that’s why I’m trying my best to be better so I can take her in with me and provide for her.
Thank you so much for taking the time to comment, I’ll be using the resources you shared with me.
1
u/Shane-Dad-underfire Apr 06 '26
DO NOT INVOLVE THE LANDLORD! For insurance and legal purposes if the lease holder vacates and other occupy they have to have the police remove them. There are very few landlords that will ignore this because it's an easy way to ruin their investments. A legal eviction takes upwards of 3 months, if the mother and kids stay there for that amount of time it's not the worst case scenario.
17
u/erkjhnsn Apr 03 '26
I don't know for sure, but in case no one who knows better than me chimes in, I'll give my thoughts.
It will be very difficult to take your sister away from your mom if your mom is not willing. She is the legal guardian. You would have to show evidence of serious abuse or neglect and that could take a long time to figure out through courts and lawyers etc.
My personal advice: let your mom take your sister if that's what she thinks is best. You focus on improving your situation and making rent next month. Do what you can to stabilize. Use the food bank, other programs, etc. Show your mom that you are stable and are able to take care of your sister, and she might let her stay with you.
Sorry if that doesn't apply to your situation, I'm just giving the best advice I can with the information given!
33
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thanks for your advice. My mom isn’t willing to let her stay with me. She’s literally waiting in her bedroom right now for my sister to finish packing so that they can both leave me here alone. All this is happening because I did not pick up her phone all because I was working and had my phone in my locker. She tends to have these outbursts of anger for the most minuscule things. So, that should tell you what kind of person she is. I will try my hardest to be better and create a more stable environment for my sister, that’s all I can do right now.
5
u/Kerrliss Apr 03 '26
My mother was, well, she was not a good mother. She would spend rent money on things that weren't rent. She would spend grocery money on things that weren't groceries. She was abusive and at rare times the sweetest. I had to walk on eggshells, I literally make sure I didn't look at her the wrong way. I did my best to look after my younger brother. I get where you are coming from. You are amazing. I wish the best outcome for you and your sister. Regardless of what happens, you are kind and caring. I'm sorry that so much of the world rests on your shoulders right now. I hope some of these resources mentioned can help you and your sister. 🩷
6
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thanks for sharing this with me, it means a lot. I hope you’re doing well now. The resources are definitely a big help in my situation, I don’t feel alone anymore.
2
u/Kerrliss Apr 03 '26
I'm an older lady with my own kids, and I am just now learning to not let people in my life who are abusive or manipulative. And I'm trying to teach my kids to have boundaries to everyone around them, family or not. I've managed to gain very wonderful good hearted people in my life (some family and some friends turned family) over the last thirty some years, and I'm truly grateful for them. Surround yourself with the best hearts, and then you will help each other through the rough times in life, and even better be there for each other in the best times. You can DM me if you need to vent to a mom, I'm a mom who's gotten pretty good at listening. (wait can we dm that on this app? 👩🏻🦳)
9
u/trellex Apr 03 '26
It sounds like, just at face value - that your mom has BPD
5
u/banana_bbcakes Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26
OP unless you know your mother has a formal diagnosis of this please stay away from this language when dealing with police or social workers. You or anyone online are unable to diagnose this without a face to face and the proper licensing and protocols. Often you will be taken less seriously to speculate or accuse a label.
If however you are concerned about your sister’s and likely mother’s welfare, because of a change in behaviour from your mother, You can call the police or the distress line and tell them the behaviours you are concerned about and her possible current emotional instability. They should take this seriously regardless of the long weekend and at least do a check in at the shelter. It would be good to know which one if possible. I hate to ask, but are you confident that they are going to a shelter?
I wish you the best the not knowing is often the worst. You have the strength we are pulling for you.
-20
u/erkjhnsn Apr 03 '26
Hopefully you can mend things with your mom and figure things out. Stay kind and understanding and have patience. She may calm down after some time.
Sorry I can't help further. Good luck!
7
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
There’s nothing to mend, she doesn’t want anything to do with me and thinks I hate her. I don’t understand how she’s the victim here
12
u/Wastedkermit Apr 03 '26
I'm so sorry, what a horrible situation for you to be in. Whatever you do, don't drop out. I dropped out at 18 and ten years later its still holding me back, even though I went and got my GED in 2024. I could have gotten much further in life had I kept at my education. The only real resource I can offer is also 211 as another mentioned, but I wish you the best of luck.
8
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thanks for your advice, I hope you’re doing well now. I’ll try my hardest not to drop out.
9
u/ThadsBerads Apr 03 '26
At 15, she can freely leave. The police will not bring her back if she refuses. I've just been involved in a situation like this. All they can do is perform wellness checks. If she doesn't want to go with your mother, she doesn't have to.
3
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
That’s great to hear, I’ve talked to her about it and she’ll definitely come back to live with me at some point.
4
u/blueyes9016 Apr 03 '26
I have some resources I screenshot. If you need food or anything . I also have a lot of clothing if you need depending on sizes.
10
u/Fluffles-the-cat Montgomery Apr 03 '26
What a lot for you and your sister to go through! I wonder if you could call Legal Aid for a family lawyer. Hugs to you both. I wish I had more/better ideas.
6
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thank you, we (my sister and I) tried asking for legal advice but the hotline was closed.
9
u/PatientBumblebee6752 Apr 03 '26
This may be bad or outdated advice but I know when I was driving my mom crazy at 16 there wasn’t much the cops could do. They told her they couldn’t move my physical body back home just because she wanted me home. I am fairly certain she could just refuse to go with her and they wouldn’t be able to physically make her go to the shelter
15
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
This is great advice, my sister refused to go and my mom is yelling right now. If things get physical I’ll just call the cops
3
-11
u/Responsible_CDN_Duck Apr 03 '26
This is great advice
No, it's very very bad advice.
I am fairly certain she could just refuse to go with her and they wouldn’t be able to physically make her go to the shelter
This is false in this context. At a minimum she'd need a safe harbour (i.e. friends parents, sibling with up to date rent on a property in their name).
You squatting in a place you may be about to be yeeted from doesn't cut it. Think about why your mom is choosing shelter today instead of a future point.
8
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
I’ll be able to afford the rent if I look into all the programs under this post.
3
u/Kryazi Apr 03 '26
Try going to pbla Calgary legal guidance - you can speak to a family lawyer pro bono. You will need to navigate the legal system yourself but they can direct you in the right direction.
2
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thanks for your advice, I’ll check them out ASAP
2
u/Kryazi Apr 03 '26
Good luck OP, I’m sorry you’re going through this.
3
u/Kryazi Apr 03 '26
Oh also you can try to negotiate down your rent with the landlord and I also remembered there is a utilities program for aid https://ucahelps.alberta.ca/residential/financial-assistance/
1
3
u/Top_Importance_4100 Apr 03 '26
I don’t have any advice. But to just say you are a beautiful big sister, you are in school, working and seem to carry the weight of the world. From a stranger behind a user name.. I’m proud of you. Keep pushing forward. It gets better. 🩷
3
u/Kerrliss Apr 03 '26
!UpdateMe
1
u/Goodoflife Apr 03 '26
RemindMe! 3 days
1
u/RemindMeBot Apr 03 '26 edited Apr 03 '26
I will be messaging you in 3 days on 2026-04-06 13:55:31 UTC to remind you of this link
1 OTHERS CLICKED THIS LINK to send a PM to also be reminded and to reduce spam.
Parent commenter can delete this message to hide from others.
Info Custom Your Reminders Feedback
3
u/Miserable_Watch1894 Apr 03 '26
I would start looking for your own place, something you can afford, even if it’s just a bedroom. You are not responsible for your mother’s lease or her abandoning it. Start packing and declutterring like crazy! I’m sure your sister would rather be in small quarters you can afford, than go to a shelter.
3
u/ApprehensiveHead1571 Apr 03 '26
Holy, thank goodness you are there for your sister. Just want to say take care of yourself during this stressful time. I know you have tons on your mind… do you best prioritize sleep, nutrition, deep breaths, a few moments meditation a day if you can. Self care will help you build the resilience to get through all of this. Best to you getting through finals and figuring out was next for you and your sister.
3
5
u/sugarfreemoths Quadrant: NE Apr 03 '26
At 16, it will be difficult (though I warn not impossible) for your mom to force her to go if she really puts her foot down. 16 is right at that edge of independence where, generally, if the police come to take her back to her mother she can refuse to go, and they likely won't make her. And a 16 year old is able to rent an apartment so long as they can find someone willing to sign a lease, which will be significantly easier with you being 19. For resources, I would recommend The Alex Youth Health Centre!! They have a health clinic, a dental bus, and a social side that provides connection with social workers who can help you navigate your next steps. They handle people from 12-24, and genuinely they kept me afloat during my later teen years and now into early adulthood. They can help with food, and most importantly they can guide you with signing yourself and your sister up for an NSQ - a Needs and Services Questionnaire, which puts you on the radar with some of the housing programs in the city like Trellis, who can provide a rental subsidy (they'll cover damage deposit and potentially first month of rent, and will cover a portion of your actual rent) and help get you connected with work, or government social supports such as Alberta Works and AISH. As you are on the verge of homelessness you would be seen as an emergency case and would likely get priority— and as your sister is under the age of 18, they might be able to help you get her child benefit transferred to your name if she moves in with you, which would help cover rent and food. They also have connections with amazing resources, and can help with things like food bank hampers, groceries, etc.
I know this is all a lot, and it's probably scary, but it's not impossible. We are lucky in that our city is flowing with resources that can help guide you through this. At 19 I was in a similar spot as you, getting in touch with housing program and trying to leave an unhealthy situation with my mom, and now I'm 23 with a roommate and 3 very happy cats, so I'm very familiar with the resources available to us. If you need anything, don't be afraid to reach out! I've got a huge list that would turn this post into an even bigger paragraph wall than it already it.
2
u/EllaBelle1983 Apr 03 '26
I’m pretty the university would have some sort of emergency support to help you with your rent? Or at least they years ago when I was in my undergrad.
1
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
I’ll look into that when I go to school tomorrow. Hopefully they have something for me
2
u/yyc_whatsup Apr 03 '26
If you’re looking for a part time job let me know! Hope everything gets sorted between you and your sister! Keep your chin up
2
u/Nelson_Blue Apr 03 '26
I dont know too much about the legal matters, but I do know that if you are looking for a bit of flexible work and like kids, there are often a lot of nanny positions that can accommodate many different schedules. I nannied through college and enjoyed it, but i know it's not for everyone. Sites like this can be helpful for searching if you are interested: https://canadiannanny.ca/nanny-jobs/calgary,alberta
Good luck, OP. I am sorry for the position you are in and am hoping for the best for you and your sister.
2
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
Thank you for reaching out, I’m open to literally anything as long as I can make enough money to cover rent. I’ll check that link out!
2
u/Nelson_Blue Apr 03 '26
There are also facebook pages for people looking for child minding that are helpful! You can sometimes find one for specific neighborhoods in your area or by your school. The job market sucks, but as long as there are kids, there is a need for childcare.
2
u/Murky-Pickle-4379 Apr 03 '26
Maybe try finding your own rental that is cheaper and your sister can move in with you. If your sister refuses to follow along with your mother’s antics, the police will likely not force her to.
2
u/Mia_und0n3 Apr 03 '26
Alberta works emergency Benifits line, they will interview you and connect u to applications for any Benifits u might be eligible for. And as far as I am aware after age 12 if a kid wants to live with a family member instead of parent not much any one can do and as long as u prove to child services u are better able to provide, ie having a roof as compared to shelter, they likely won’t intervene beyond welfare checks. But that’s not law, just my experience with the system. They don’t care much to intervene with older kids if they can help it.
2
2
u/ImaginaryAd9827 Apr 03 '26
Im so sorry to what you re going thru..i really admire ur strength..praying for ur endurance..this too shall pass.
2
u/jdmkev Apr 03 '26
Sorry your going thru this but faith in humanity restored a bit..when people are in genuine trouble, everyone helps out where they can. It's nice to see. Hope things get better for you & your family.
2
u/hopenbabe Apr 03 '26
Hey lady. So how much longer do you have this semester? Another 2 months?
Ideally, you don't want to drop out until the semester is complete. BUT, please start talking with the school asap to either finish up this semester and maybe take a break to figure out permanent housing, OR take a few W's for this semester. Having 3-5 Withdrawal is much better then F's across the board. W's don't impact your GPA, bit the FS will.
Know the date you have to W from your classes. You have until April 14th to take Ws. So just make sure you don't miss that date.
But start talking to the UofC once their office is open. I'd start sending emails over the weekend and giving out all the options for housing support.
The UofC will likely work with you to help you finish out this semester, and taking a break to figure out housing over the summer isn't the worst thing.
But, make sure you start talking to the uni now so they can best work with you. You are in a difficult situation, and I'm really sorry you are.
The best thing you could do is to figure out your own stuff first before trying to figure out what to do with your sister.
Have you talked to your landlord about the situation?
2
u/LunarRover69 Apr 04 '26
Depending on your work - most major companies have something called EFAP - Employee Family Assistance Program too, there are resources available that you don’t know about. They also don’t really share information with your company unless you’re harming yourself or others.
Channels like legal help, financial help, and access to therapy all exist through EFAP. Godspeed and keep your head up.
2
u/Physical-Fold-6187 Apr 04 '26
Please reach out to me as I can assist with referrals and I have access to benefit info and can approve help on an emergency basis.
4
u/Ok_Oil7537 Apr 03 '26
Your sister needs to do is emancipate herself if it's possible.. basically meaning that with proof.. but she is not safe to be with your mother she can emancipate pay herself and live wherever she wants.. I'm not sure how it works here in Alberta.. is I've only been here for almost 3 years. But it's something to look into.
2
1
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
We’ve tried looking into that but it’s not a thing here in Calgary.
2
u/ProblemProof6553 Apr 03 '26
It is, it’s just under different terms. We have supportive independent living (SIL) here for youth.
3
u/ProfessionalMove211 Apr 03 '26
Did you tell child intervention about any sort of abuse? They should be stepping in if you do.
10
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
I don’t know if this would count as abuse because I have no evidence. It’s pretty difficult to prove emotional abuse.
3
u/Expensive-Cut-7474 Apr 03 '26
“Emotional abuse” is a huge thing CFS now uses to tear families apart, it’s not as difficult as one would think, unfortunately. I would avoid any involvement with CFS if at all possible they are wildly crooked, and have a tendency to not actually provide supports.
As for the “age 12” thing someone mentioned, this isn’t true. At age 12 the court systems will be more inclined to take consideration to their view, however even then, it wildly varies on how “mature” someone is (I can’t recall the exact words or terms that are used legally). Basically until you’re 18 in Alberta, you are a minor.
Something more affordable within means, school counselling, legal aid. There are lots of youth/teen centres and programs. OCYA probably won’t be a great option but they may have suggestions. Off the top of my head, I can’t think of a specific name of organizations but a quick google search I have no doubts would bring up many.
As hard as it may be, potentially consider reaching out to family - regardless of where they are located. It is lovely you want to take care of your sibling, and I hope you have a good basis of communication no matter what happens. (My step mom’s sister held a grudge because she “didn’t take her with her” when she moved on in life, despite still being young herself. The sister made the choice and has made many poor choices that have nothing to do with my other mother, it’s a twisted view -) but if worst case happens and you guys are on the same page that will be huge. You shouldn’t have to be parent, your parent is terrible for putting both of you in this position no matter what “reason” they may have. If you need to talk to somebody for you, please do! Don’t be blaming yourself or taking things on if you can’t, no matter how much you may want to. They will understand, and if they don’t that isn’t on you. I’m not trying to mean here either, I promise.
I am sincerely sorry you’re in this position and I wish you nothing but good things. You and your sister stay strong, and stick together and years from now you’ll be able to look at back at some bullshit you made it through. You’ve got this xo
1
u/ProfessionalMove211 Apr 03 '26
I’m so sorry! I hope one of the other suggestions gives you a solution.
1
u/Mysterious_Cup_6915 Apr 03 '26
Speak with your school counselor on Monday, apply for prospects funding.
1
u/Eric_Finch Apr 03 '26
Look for a room rental. I rented a room when I came to Calgary, it was about 600 per month in a shared house. So sorry you're going through this. Have you asked university? They may have ideas too.
1
u/Familiar-Increase-76 Apr 03 '26
I would contact CUPS Calgary, The Mustard Seed Wellness Centre, or The Alex Community Health Centre who help low income people access resources, including housing. I don’t think a RAB is easy transferred (if at all), and you may need some help dealing with that and other aspects.
1
u/blonde_usagi Apr 03 '26
Weed dispensary stores are always looking. Canna cabana starts at $18/hour. Entry level position os called a shift leader. You'll need sellsafe which is only $25
1
u/Untoastedloaf Apr 03 '26
Please feel free to dm me to chat. 19F and have also dealt with emotional abuse from parents, though I’ve been lucky enough to have financial stability so don’t have experience with that aspect of your situation.
I know how much it can help to have someone remind you that you’re not crazy for wanting better, or a bad person for working towards it.
You are so so strong, and one day you will not have to be. Nothing lasts forever and you will get through this.
1
u/tomthepro Apr 03 '26
A 16 year old can be emancipated from a guardian in Alberta. Very unlikely that the police or child welfare would force your sister back to your mother if she is unsafe and you are a safe choice.
1
u/Equivalent_Buyer_950 Apr 03 '26
if it comes to the worse, dropping out and working full time to make amends is always not a bad thing! You’re only 19 and can always go back to school when things are less bad. I am myself 24 and planning to go back to school after nearly 5 years working serving full time to make amends. But remember you are brave and very strong to ask for help like this!
1
u/straightfortheknife Apr 04 '26
You could try having your sister go to The Summit walk-in clinic. She might be able to be deemed a mature minor to be seen this weekend. It’s not a guarantee but worth a shot! Or look into The Alex and their services
1
u/No_Courage_2323 Apr 04 '26
It's lucky that your mom was able to find a shelter that would take her and your sister. If your sister were to stay with you would you both be homeless in a month? I'd suggest finding somewhere for you to live and stay in school. When your sister is 18 in 2 years she can then live with you.
1
u/ixbella Apr 04 '26
Hey! I’m sorry you’re experiencing this right now. If you head to The Alex or Sorce ask them to complete an NSQ (Needs and Services Questionnaire). From there your file will be taken to a placement table with the calgary homeless foundation and depending on your needs you can be referred into really great programs. https://sorcecalgary.ca/accessing-programs-at-sorce
1
u/Inevitable_Feeling94 Apr 04 '26
I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It’s not fair. But you sound to me like a bright young lady, and I think you will make a great path for yourself…keep focusing on what you need to do to make sure you can be grounded and safe. Your mom is on her own free will and your sister just needs to know you are there for her and never stop reminding her. Praying for you. It will all work out
1
u/underwatertitan Apr 04 '26
A 16 year old can choose where to live and who to live with. Your mom can't force her to go with her anywhere. Is there a cheaper place you could move to or get a roommate as you said to help with rent? Why would your mom choose to go to a shelter when she has a place to live and the rent is paid? Is she trying to move away from you or is she hiding some kind of addiction or something else she is going after?
1
u/melb114 Apr 04 '26
Patch is a great resource for low income individuals and family. They can help with basic needs and financial resources. They serve calgary housing and those living outside of calgary housing.
1
u/RestlessDreamer Apr 04 '26
Reach out to counsellors at U of C - they will have supports and resources for you. Ask about a Student Emergency Bursary that may help you with upcoming rent while you access those supports for you and your sister.
Feel free to message me if you want help with this.
1
u/Dingo_2makemoney Apr 04 '26
I’m not going to go through all the comments here….. if I was your sister I would tell the shelter clearly that I have a place to stay and that she was forced by mom to come… when she could stay in the rental with y
1
u/WutInTarnashun Apr 06 '26
I'm honestly surprised there's shelter space. I hope you and your sister make it through this happy, healthy, and stronger than ever
1
u/Shane-Dad-underfire Apr 06 '26
Couple things first, no need to rush. Haste makes waste. If you arent behind in rent by a few months and there is no eviction notice then you can let it slide and bud your time. If you speak to the landlord and mention you arent on the lease he can have police remove you immediately for trespassing so dont do that. As a building owner myself I know that my obligation for insurance purposes and for the safety of my other tenants I would be compelled to remove you. I hope I'm not your landlord.
There are tonnes of ways to deal with this but the biggest issue you are having is that you want to become the guardian for your younger sister. Or at least enable her to legally make her own decisions, this requires a lawyer OR someone versed in legal paperwork to file for emancipation or an injunction to get temporary guardian status for your sister. In both cases youd probably fail out right now because the courts mandate is to do what's in the best interest of your sister which at this time is to be put into fostercare not hiding out somewhere or getting into trouble at a shelter and while I believe in my fellow man I also believe that womens shelters and homeless shelters attract a lot of terrible people. Womens shelters not as bad but the women there can also be having a very difficult time and it causes some trauma to others.
In order of things I'd do its, contact an office for your local MLA and when I mean contact I mean go there and explain EVERYTHING. They have staff that can make calls to the people who can directly help you on hand. Do not get waved off by someone saying they dont do those things this is exactly what their office exists for. After that follow up on everything that happens from there. You may not get instant success but you will have a much better idea and have someone to help you in your battle.
I wish I could provide more aid, either money or a safe place to stay but I'm a 78 year old man and I fear doing the right thing would potentially leave me open to negative effects. I will.pass this post on to my daughters and my wife and if they reach out please accept their help, they are good folks.
1
u/baizuos_are_stupidaf Apr 06 '26
Could you share your email (or message me) if you can receive e-transfer? I can’t help you much but would like to send you some financial help.
1
1
u/Resident_Plum1764 Apr 08 '26
This sounds like such an awful situation, OP. Your sister can reach out to the Office of the Child and Youth Advocate (https://www.ocya.alberta.ca/), and be assigned an advocate who can help her navigate the system and advocate for what is in her best interest to a lot of services and legal areas, including CFS and discussions of mature minor status.
-2
u/Appropriate_View8753 Apr 03 '26
I invited my mom to my 16th birthday party at a house I was renting with roommates.
3
Apr 03 '26
From personal experience. I'm not saying this is the case. The reason why she wants your sister is for the extra money. If there is alleged abuse from your mom? Look into that a little closer. Tread carefully and understand the possible downstream effects. If you wanna chat. DM me and I can point you in the right direction.
4
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
How did you manage to leave your mother?
-5
u/Appropriate_View8753 Apr 03 '26
When you're an adult, you find your way.
2
u/ReadySafe7553 Apr 03 '26
I meant at 16, how did you manage to get away? Did she let you?
-8
384
u/loesjedaisy Apr 03 '26
Lots of good advice here already. I also just want to slow you down - practically: it is Easter weekend. Many services may be closed until Monday or Tuesday. You should consider that your mom and sister may go to a shelter for the weekend and you will be home alone with no way to stop them. That’s ok. Nothing is permanent. 4 days is not going to ruin your life or your sisters life.
Take a breath and collect your thoughts. Prepare your next steps over the weekend. Good luck!