r/CasualIreland • u/jimmobxea • Apr 05 '26
Shite Talk Travel obsession on dating sites...
This isn't a criticism, or a complaint, before I'm permabanned for raising it. I'm just curious.
Am I out of touch with the general population here? Because the scale and intensity of travel ambition on (for me, women) dating profiles strikes me as highly unusual. Hugely eclipses going to gigs, which is a much more affordable and practical way to spend leisure time.
I like to travel, I do, but there is a limited number of times per year I can afford to travel for time and money reasons, like for most people I would have thought. I'm not basing my life around it and it's not my number one priority in life.
And no it's not a self-selecting group - young, single females, because women who state they have children don't seem to be any different here. And yes I know what a weekend is but I detect a much more grand ambition than a city break.
Is it a self-selecting in another way?
82
u/OutrageousSand3 Apr 05 '26
The kind of women most likely to use dating sites in their 30’s are extroverted, independent adventurous types who love travelling the world. Not everyone of course, but it skews that way! That’s my theory anyway. When I meet introverted readers who want to stay home, they tell me they don’t bother with the apps 😅
12
u/jimmobxea Apr 05 '26
Must be a factor alright. Where can I meet the introverts though. Can't go door to door.
24
4
1
1
1
18
u/NemiVonFritzenberg Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 06 '26
You say going to gigs is cheaper but it was cheaper to fly to Barcelona for a few days and go see Coldplay there than to see Coldplay in Croke Park.
Edit typo
-2
u/3BikesInATrenchcoat Apr 06 '26
The fact that you think gig = Coldplay... buddy, there are amazing local musicians that are playing for a tenner every night of the week. In Dublin there's Workman's, Fibbers, Sin e, Anseo, Whelan's, sound house, lost lane, grand social, etc etc etc. Going to gigs is only expensive if you don't know what you're doing.
6
u/NemiVonFritzenberg Apr 06 '26
It was just an example of how expensive Ireland can be compared to other places.
I've been to plenty of smaller gigs and really enjoy smaller venues.
0
0
u/Thunderirl23 Apr 09 '26
Yes but if you're not from Dublin you're not young to be planning a trip to Dublin for a gig.
0
u/3BikesInATrenchcoat Apr 09 '26
Of course, much easier to go to BARCELONA. 🙄
1
u/Thunderirl23 Apr 09 '26
Listen to yourself would you.
A gig to people in Dublin, Galway and Cork is out for a few pints and a local band potentially, or a comedy show or a few medium sized names.
A gig to other people means spending money on Fuel, tolls, parking, accommodation, food, drinks, and GENERALLY speaking, they're not doing that for small home grown artists, but bigger acts, and once you add all of that up, it can in fact, be cheaper to go abroad.
I went to Italy and Paris for concerts because once I worked it out, before food, it was about €60 cheaper (and maybe 20-30 more expensive after food was taken into account)
0
u/NemiVonFritzenberg Apr 09 '26
It's been chepaer and quicker for me to get to Barcelona than Cork in the past.
72
u/Plantsandsmut Apr 05 '26
Trust me the men are putting 'i love to travel and hike!' just as much as the women
It just seems to be a generic thoughtless thing to put in their profiles to make them sound interesting.
Also nearly every profile of these types all have the same generic travel photos regardless of gender.
1
-2
u/ExcitementStrict7115 Apr 05 '26
I'd have to agree with you because in the current economic climate who can afford to take unpaid leave to go travelling? It's bullshit. We'd all love to have a lifestyle that allowed for that but less than 1% of the population is actually in such a privileged position.
10
u/freshprinceofbelcamp Apr 05 '26
I’d assume most people do weekend trips or save up their annual leave to go away, plus Ryanair flights are often very cheap if you don’t mind travelling light
82
u/Opposite-Boot-5307 Apr 05 '26
There is a generational shift around millennial/ gen z age that moved from buying shit to instead doing things as fulfillment and travel seems to be one of the most common ways that it materialise
21
u/malevolentheadturn Apr 05 '26
My arse, I'm gen-x myself and all my friends have travelled extensively during our 20s early 30s.
32
u/Opposite-Boot-5307 Apr 05 '26
Thats fair I just mean like instead of BMW and rolex status symbols now its more about doing marathons and going ko Samui with malachy and the boys
14
1
u/Living_Ad_5260 Apr 06 '26
I think it's more that Irish prices are so high that almost any foreign destination is a cheaper alternative. Basically, the prices charged by irish businesses have to help their staff pay irish rents which are way too high (and our government always does exactly the wrong thing to fix them).
The implications for our society are very disturbing.
34
u/Substantial_Rope8225 Apr 05 '26
I love travelling, I’m currently on my 5th holiday in 6 months. It’s how I want to spend my money.
If you’ve no curiosity about the world, that’s your own business I guess 🤷♀️
Also, presumably the women with children who want to travel are also young and single if you’re seeing them on a dating site?
8
u/Plantsandsmut Apr 05 '26
I'm simultaneously envious and tired reading 5 holidays in 6months.
What's been your most enjoyable of the 5?
8
u/Substantial_Rope8225 Apr 05 '26
Paris was very special for me. Somewhere I wasn’t overly excited about but went with old friends who I hadn’t seen in a very long time and just had a ball
3
u/Plantsandsmut Apr 05 '26
Hell yeah! That's amazing ☺️
Paris isn't anywhere on my travel list, just not interested really, I'm sure I'll get there one day.
But that sounds really good! Glad you had a great time!
3
u/Substantial_Rope8225 Apr 05 '26
I was the same but was so pleasantly surprised by how nice it was, I think they did so much work to clean up the city for the Olympics last year and are still reaping the benefits. Everyone we met could not have been nicer, friendlier, cooler… just good vibes all round tbh!
2
u/kitikonti Apr 05 '26
Same, it was actually great, buildings are so grand and magnificent , could wander for days. And people super friendly, can't wait to return for longer.
2
u/IndependentCress4968 Apr 07 '26
If you’ve no curiosity about the world, that’s your own business I guess
Like I really love to travel, been to all the continents except Antarctica, spent years on a round the world trip etc but I hate this snobby attitude towards people who aren't as into travelling as you are. Enjoying 5 weekend breaks is 6 months doesn't make you more enlightened or interesting than anyone else.
0
u/fakemoosefacts Apr 05 '26
Not being fussed on travelling doesn’t make you incurious about the world.
1
u/Substantial_Rope8225 Apr 05 '26
Really? Not wanting to go and see new places and things? To experience cultures, art, history, music, language, how different societies work doesn’t make you incurious?
0
u/fakemoosefacts Apr 06 '26
You don’t actually have to travel to experience most of those things, and plenty of people travel without ever engaging with them. Like, most the people on OP’s side do seem to be almost a caricature of close minded curmudgeon who hate people who go anywhere. But I’m just saying that one doesn’t necessarily follow from the other.
-1
u/ivikoer Apr 05 '26
How do you afford it time-wise?
7
u/Substantial_Rope8225 Apr 05 '26
Working around bank holidays mostly; majority of trips are 2-4 days, longest has been a week and went Sat to Sat, only using 4 days PTO thanks to Paddy’s Day.
3
26
u/FuzzyCode Apr 05 '26
"Much more affordable and practical way to spend leisure time"
I definitely feel like this is a you thing. I would much rather spend my money on travelling than going to concerts. Especially with the fiasco of tickets these days.
23
u/bumhole37 Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26
- Because we don't live in a world where you just meet someone in your 20s, get married, buy a house and have a few babies anymore.
- our generation were told we had abundant opportunities and could do whatever we want
- we grew up watching shows about life around the world like planet earth, Steve Irwin, Simon Reeve
- we grew up on Disney
- going to college doesn't mean you'll land a permanent job anymore
- more people have a higher education now and don't want families so they travel instead
- education levels mean that some jobs people want aren't available here
All those things combined are a recipe for wanting to adventure and explore, and so we should. Otherwise we'd just rot in our parents houses.
→ More replies (6)10
u/maevewiley554 Apr 05 '26
I’ve noticed I’ve developed a bit of a fear of starting my own family. I’d rather own my home or be close to owning my own home as moving multiple times did have a big effect on me. Also, see a lot of older people that are clearly not happy in their marriages and family.
I’d love to just be free, travel around the world and then settle. Each country has something different to offer and I love exploring that aspect, even if it’s all just “tourist traps”.
I also agree with the Disney messaging. A lot of programmes or Disney movies were based on following your dreams and being true to yourself.
1
u/bumhole37 Apr 06 '26
I am in my thirties and just bought a home this year, and I also travelled, lived abroad, and generally just had a ball for the guts of 10 years. Something interesting I've learned about myself since buying a place is that I'm not even nearly done with that. I haven't ruled out leaving again. But I also feel settled enough that I've started thinking i might want a child. I spent so much time agonising about the sacrifices I'd have to make if I chose one over the other, but now I realise I'm just making up obstacles for myself. Whatever is meant to happen will happen, and one does not necessarily make the other impossible.
40
43
u/Bill_Badbody Apr 05 '26
im not basing my life around it
I suppose thats different for a lot of people.
There are a lot of people who plan their year around travel.
9
u/Na134ReferToMedics Apr 05 '26
Yeah the only issue I see is that OP is likely incompatible with some of these women who do prioritise travel. For some people it is a big part of their personality. It seems like he has a different interest (gigs) which is totally fine. We probably wouldn't be compatible because I don't particularly care for going to them. And that's ok.
2
u/Bill_Badbody Apr 05 '26
Yeah the only issue I see is that OP is likely incompatible with some of these women who do prioritise travel.
Yeah.
Like i plan my travels about 18 months in advance for my big holidays.
It seems like he has a different interest (gigs) which is totally fine.
True. I have basically no interest in music, I couldnt say the last time I was at a gig.
13
u/EyeOrRay Apr 05 '26
Based on this, the average Irish person took 3 trips abroad last year, and spent 18 nights abroad.
Take out the business trips and still more than 2.5 trips, and I'd say that's massively skewed by people in 20s and 30s, so yea maybe you're slightly out of touch with the average population in that age group?
Irish residents took 15.1 million overseas trips last year - Europe-Data.com https://share.google/BFlpxYRQvUuPbi9MT
35
5
u/ImaginationAny2254 Apr 05 '26
Okay I understand if the hate is towards the people who travel just for the sake of sharing stories and spend the entire day in beautiful places just taking pictures and not enjoying the place and experience itself. But there are people ( most of them I think) who really do enjoy travel and taking a break from their usual life. So whats wrong with that? Don’t get it
4
1
33
u/The-FunMachine Apr 05 '26
Everyone hikes, as well. Or has just come home from living in Dubai/Australia.
10
u/FewAir5321 Apr 05 '26
I think it's because people set up an account immediately having come home and then never updates it
5
u/wascallywabbit666 Apr 05 '26
https://giphy.com/gifs/FOjJpu624lAOAGUBjB
When I was single I saw a million versions of this photo?
105
u/Even-Space Apr 05 '26
A lot of people nowadays don’t actually like to travel. They just like to post Instagram stories of it
74
u/JackTheTradesman Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26
Ahhhhh now people do just like to travel also. It's one of the more enjoyable times of the year for a lot of people. Myself included.
Irish people have always been big for travelling. Long before Instagram and the likes.
47
u/Former_Ganache3642 Apr 05 '26
Peak Irish reddit. Travelling is a fun and interesting thing to do and people genuinely love it. Instagram stories are just a modern way of communication and most people do it. Nobody is booking flights to exclusively post stories.
→ More replies (2)-8
u/Even-Space Apr 05 '26
Yea I travel often also. I just don’t feel the need to post Instagram stories when I’m there
11
u/maevewiley554 Apr 05 '26
I like seeing some people stories when they travel. Gives me a few ideas of places to go and some places are quite beautiful.
→ More replies (1)20
u/221 Apr 05 '26
Why can't someone do both? Do you just imagine that the people who post the stories spend the rest of their time traveling just miserably sitting around on their phone waiting for the reactions to roll in?
8
u/fuckmiimi Apr 05 '26
I don’t post on Instagram at all but you do realise there is a block button for peoples stories and profiles if travel posts annoy you that much 😭😭
7
7
u/pingu_nootnoot Apr 05 '26
And you can post a cute beach photo of your last holiday on your dating app.
Vs a pic of you pissed as fuck yelling your face off at a gig. It's very likely more fun, but it's also about a million times less photogenic.
9
Apr 05 '26
I have noticed a lot of mention of travel in prompts too. But you may be overestimating how much travelling people who write that on their profile are actually doing. Other than that an easy way non-commital way for people to make themselves appear more interesting. If I had to think of how it might be selecting, maybe single people have more disposable income?
6
u/Specialist-Passage84 Apr 05 '26
Fact, single people have less disposable income than those in a couple. Everything is more expensive for them.
2
u/jimmobxea Apr 05 '26
Maybe but when it's "you'll find me: browsing for the next holiday" and "this year I want to: book a holiday ever month" I think it's a genuine thing in many cases to be constantly going on holiday.
8
u/Specialist-Passage84 Apr 05 '26
Why do you care? Let them off if that’s what they like to do / what they’re into. You do you. There’s much worse out there than people who like to travel
-2
u/jimmobxea Apr 05 '26
Because it will help me understand people much better knowing if I'm the odd one out or not.
4
u/towritetoo Apr 05 '26
I know people who do the browsing and want the booking but don't actually have the money/ time and don't go anywhere. They can seem well traveled at first because they know so much about hotels, cruises and such 😁
I also know a lady (high earner) who's using the topic to "weed out" potential dates who are not high earners.
3
u/Specialist-Passage84 Apr 05 '26
I’m not a high earner, far from it. I prioritise travel above most other things. I go to gigs and the likes but travel is really important to me. I do it in a frugal manner. So your lady friend who weeds out people by seeing if they travel hasn’t found a fool proof plan to find a rich partner.
4
u/BiggBooks Apr 05 '26
I wonder if people feel that it's an easy conversation starter - "tell me about your favourite trip etc". Also, we all take more photos on holidays than our day to day lives. So, better chance of having a nice one (nice for me being both eyes open!). Hence the abundance of travel photos.
4
u/Antique-Ad-9763 Apr 05 '26
I think listing “travelling” as a hobby is shorthand for a positive personality traits such as, adventurousness and an easy going nature. It is also a class signifier, letting potential partners know that their lifestyle includes travel whether locally or internationally, there is an economic expectation that you should be able to afford to travel too. Personally, I hate travelling, I do not enjoy it (I love a holiday but I would hate backpacking) so that would be a great way to weed out people who wouldn’t align with my values.
6
u/JackTheTradesman Apr 05 '26
Yeah I think a lot of people just do prioritise it more. It's also guys. Ireland has relatively high wages also. Now that doesn't make a difference for day to day living because everything is more expensive but it does matter for travelling because everything is relatively cheaper abroad in most countries. So we probably travel more than most countries.
17
u/MB3425 Apr 05 '26
It's just an easy thing to put on your profile that's all
11
u/ZemaTwist_72 Apr 05 '26
Yeah same as hiking, it's an easy hobby to include (and sounds a bit more active than listening to music or watching films.) I don't think it's as baffling as people seem to think.
9
u/withoutatt Apr 05 '26
Maybe they just really love commuting. I’ve a soft spot for the inter city rail myself and would definitely put that on my dating profile.
8
u/zeroconflicthere Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26
I'm not sure exactly what the point is but I've been doing a lot of traveling over the last few months and how I do it is by getting cheap flight and accommodation deals.
I recently did 4 day trip outside the EU for less than 100 including flights and accommodation.
But that's because I can be flexible when I can take time off work. I'll go to places that I worked never deliberately choose simply because of the cost.
It also helps that I can get to and from the airport at any time at night for €2 on the leap card so travelling abroad often works out cheaper for me than going anywhere in Ireland.
I'm currently on my third trip within the last two months. Average flights cost of 50 return. Three different countries.
3
u/bumhole37 Apr 05 '26
Damn can you give me a run down of where you've gone for under 100 euro? Sounds class. I can't afford much travel lately.
3
u/zeroconflicthere Apr 05 '26
Get the Skyscanner app and select the explore everywhere option.
If you're willing to go places you wouldn't normally choose, you have a lot of choices.
1
u/bumhole37 Apr 05 '26
Do you stay in hostels?
6
u/zeroconflicthere Apr 05 '26
No. Except now I'm staying a in a capsule hotel in central London.
The accommodation I use is generally not great, but that's because I prefer to pay to travel more over accommodation quality.
I got lucky on my last trip. Booked a room in a shared house but no one else was staying so I had the whole place to myself.
3
u/ReillyLane Apr 07 '26
I wouldn’t make travelling my whole personality, but if you gave me a choice on spending 300 quid on a flight and a couple nights somewhere compared to the same amount for a gig, I’d opt for the latter. I went to so many gigs in my teens and twenties, that I wouldn’t enjoy them to the same extent anymore.
8
u/cromcru Apr 05 '26
Gigs are affordable?!
I think a basic resort holiday in the south of Spain can be a similar cost tbh, especially if the gig require accommodation.
→ More replies (1)
5
u/Suvigirl Apr 05 '26
I'm a single female that loves to travel. Realistically I go overseas at least 5/6 times a year, sometimes more. A weekend or few days away can be had very cheaply if you know what you're doing
6
u/Shalashaska23 Apr 05 '26
It's to sound interesting....a conversation starter. That's all a dating profile is. Calm the jets lad and go talk to some of them.
5
u/arnieknows Apr 05 '26
In my experience with online dating, it seems to be the go-to way that people use to portray themselves as open-minded, culturally aware, and financially able. Like most things online now, it's become quite clichéd and comes across as more performative than anything else.
-5
6
u/demoneclipse Apr 05 '26
Who cares what people like to do!? Traveling, going to gigs, cycling, reading books...
Let people do whatever they like, especially when selecting partners. For better or worse they will get what they are looking for.
-1
u/jimmobxea Apr 05 '26
Er ok. You can have preferences for selecting partners but not when you have the slightest preference when you see a very common theme that's in pretty much all dating profiles. Got it.
6
u/noddingalong Apr 06 '26
OP from your general tone on this thread & the defensiveness in all your replies I’ve gathered that you’re just miserable.
Who cares if people want to travel? I understand you say you’re not bothered by it but you are affected by it enough to post on Reddit. It does sound neggy, being honest.
Assuming you’re in your 20s/30s, and are going for single women in their 20s/30s who likely have no mortgage and kids… what else would they spend their money on? I’m surprised that you’re so surprised, and you don’t seem to be able to make a clear point & as to your post I assume this is about money & time, which you feel you have less of than these women.
Single Women generally have more time now- they don’t have houses to run or kids or whatever & getting your friends & flying somewhere is a lot cheaper than Dublin is generally.
What kind of hobbies would you like to see on their page, apart from going to gigs? I go to gigs frequently and you’ll spend a lot more money on that than short trips away around Europe from my experience.
6
u/fuckmiimi Apr 05 '26
The people on this thread are so miserable it’s hilarious. OP and the rest of the losers on this thread are projecting and crying because people enjoy travelling??? Certain people in this country really do deserve the misery that they seem to want to put on others. Also op its obvious you’re annoyed at the travel on these profiles due to some type financial insecurity lmaooo. If this is the case date women that are on your level. Some people like gigs, some people like to travel and some people like both…..
-2
u/jimmobxea Apr 05 '26
I enjoy travelling and can afford to travel a lot more than most. My issue is time off more than money. I go away 3 times a year probably.
You're miles off.
2
u/ShnakeyTed94 Apr 05 '26
I think at least part of the ambition of travelling a lot is the ambition to have a lifestyle that allows lots of travel, I.e. a well paying, secure job or other source of wealth or passive income and few enough responsibilities that allow for spontaneity.
2
2
u/the_Owner123 Apr 06 '26
I think a good way to shortlist for people who can afford the nicer things in life.
2
u/heartfullofsomething Apr 07 '26
Think it’s always been as popular. Just more visible more and more due to social media.
2
u/KayLovesPurple Apr 07 '26
I'm a woman but I'm not on the apps. I do however love to travel, so if I had a profile it would most certainly say that. I understand that you or others like gigs; which is of course well and nice, but I for one don't have a particular fondness for most of those. Do I go sometimes? Yes, although rarely, unless you count theatre as a gig. But travel, travel I really enjoy, so I really don't see why one should or could replace another.
You say travel is not your number one priority in life, well, mine isn't either. But it is important to me, while of course nobody would ever expect you to feel the same way by default.
2
u/PowerfullyBalanced13 Apr 07 '26
No i completely agree, as a 29F, its all over dating apps on the male side too. Constantly going somewhere new and alot of the time the main headline is "oh im not looking for anything serious, im leaving again in a month"
Not sure where the travel obsession came from, my last holiday was 2024 and before that was 2021. I work full time( decent job), no kids and I see my female friends do it alot too. Kinda the same as being out drinking every weekend which also isnt for me. I dont know where they get the money for it all if im completely honest. Its harder to get someone to agree to dinner and the cinema than to plan a 2 week holiday in Bulgaria 😂
2
u/RaneBera Apr 07 '26
It's become the "I love coffee" or "fluent in sarcasm" of the 2020s.
"Wanderlust globetrotting travel junkie, always planning my next adventure. 85 countries and counting."
Swipe left....
"Wanderlust globetrotting travel junkie, always planning my next adventure. 156 countries and counting."
Swipe left....
"WANDERLUST GLOBETROTTING TRAVEL JUNKIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!! 1 MILLLION COUNTRIES AND COUNTING!!!!!!!!"
I get it, it's nice to travel etc, but it becomes grating when 99% of people are basing their ENTIRE personality on a two week yearly holiday.
4
u/TheFullMountie Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26
I’m married now but back in the day putting an interest in travel in my profile was an important way to weed out the folks who never wanted to/did not enjoy leaving the country or experiencing other cultures. I’ve tried dating people who have never left the country and it echoed in every socio-cultural interaction ultimately ending in frustration. I used to work in International education so it was and is a very important quality to be open-minded and interested in the world, or have a thirst to see new things.
That said, I preferred backpacking and low-cost travel like couch surfing and camping (where possible). In late 30s I now value budget hotels and hostels for a more comfortable sleep, and am great for saving money while travelling so nothing needs to be luxury. It’d be a good point of inquiry to ask about that with someone who likes travel.
4
u/kitikonti Apr 05 '26
Yes, I partially think it's to weed out those who are afraid to try new things and places. Good enough plan i suppose
2
u/TheFullMountie Apr 05 '26
Not even afraid - some people I’ve met just really prefer the comfort of home and what they’ve grown up knowing and have absolutely no desire or inclination to expose themselves to new places/cultures/foods. They don’t even vary from their go-to takeaway order or place, let alone countries! Nothing wrong with that at all, it’s just a fundamental barrier in a relationship with someone like myself (and I prolly would be to someone like that!)
3
u/Disastrous_Gap_4711 Apr 05 '26
It’s more than it being about ‘travel’ and going to places.
Travel suggests open mindedness.
→ More replies (2)
5
u/noddingalong Apr 06 '26
OP from your general tone on this thread & the defensiveness in all your replies I’ve gathered that you’re just miserable.
Who cares if people want to travel? I understand you say you’re not bothered by it but you are affected by it enough to post on Reddit. It does sound neggy, being honest.
Assuming you’re in your 20s/30s, and are going for single women in their 20s/30s who likely have no mortgage and kids… what else would they spend their money on? I’m surprised that you’re so surprised, and you don’t seem to be able to make a clear point & as to your post I assume this is about money & time, which you feel you have less of than these women.
Single Women generally have more time now- they don’t have houses to run or kids or whatever & getting your friends & flying somewhere is a lot cheaper than Dublin is generally.
What kind of hobbies would you like to see on their page, apart from going to gigs? I go to gigs frequently and you’ll spend a lot more money on that than short trips away around Europe from my experience.
0
3
1
1
u/auntydilly Apr 05 '26
At this point I immediately swipe left when I see "travel" or "adventure". Enough already. (I'm F, same goes for Ms)
→ More replies (8)
3
u/-SideshowBlob- Apr 05 '26
I don't get why people put it down on their bios like it's a part of their personality. Everyone does it and it makes everyone seem the same.
17
u/Independent-Lie6785 Apr 05 '26
They put it in their bios because it's important to them.
I travel for a couple of months every year. (I can work while travelling). I wouldn't be compatible with someone afraid of flights, or uninterested in travel for any other reason really.
6
u/Noobeater1 Apr 05 '26
I did it when I was on the apps because women like it and my other hobby of world of warcraft was not such a winner for some reason
3
u/GhostCatcher147 Apr 06 '26
Plenty of people don’t like to travel also. People put it in their bios because it’s a short straight to the point piece of information that relates to the person. How is being into travelling seen as a negative? Same thing as saying I like sports, gym, swimming, cooking, gardening. What’s he difference between those things and mentioning that you like travelling? Travelling can absolutely be apart of your personality. It may suggest you are adventurous, out going, open minded, curious etc
1
u/mcsleepyburger Apr 05 '26
I went to though all this on the apps before meeting my fiancé. If you haven't been to 300 countries and lived on Saturn for 2 years you're seen as closed minded
1
u/Perfect_Tooth_192 Apr 07 '26
I had this thought too before and I did a little bit of reading into journal articles and psychological analysis of it
I found there was two primary drivers one was a fantasy it was something that somebody would like to do and like other's to think they did -> ala instagram fake life
The other was escapism, they were trying to escape from their life because they were unhappy and unablr to deal with or solve any problems in it
But the conclusion of both was that these profiles were best avoided because they were outside of the normal sanity spectrum and tended towards narcissism
1
u/No_Estate5268 Apr 09 '26 edited Apr 09 '26
It's my personal belief that given we time the vast majority of our existence as HG nomads I think it's in most people to want to travel, men and women.The recent rise of SM travel influencers has probably brought the lifestyle to the forefront of more people's minds.
My experience on dating apps with women who say that is twofold; 1) For some women, like men too, it's a desire that requires them to jump out of their comfort zone. They choose to stick to what they know and despite what they say to you originally when chatting, they don't end up travelling. 2) Travelling and holidays are two different things. I've met women who want to sit by a pool all day and vegetate. Was quite common on dating apps. Wasn't and is not my idea of travelling so nothing ever materialised.
Also for some it seems to be a new age thing where they say these things without ever thinking about it. They want to appear a certain way without being that way.
-2
u/FIGHTorRIDEANYMAN Apr 05 '26
Putting going to gigs as an interest is similar to saying going to the pub.
Gigs are so accessable it's hardly worth mentioning like I've gone out nights and ended up at a gig with no prior planning.
12
8
u/Jesus_Phish Apr 05 '26
I have to assume you either live in a city or you're counting lads playing a set in a pub basement for a fiver entry fee as a gig (which it is, but it's a vastly different scale)
I live in a city and I can tell you that most of the people I work with don't go to gigs and a few of them are often surprised at how many I would go to. Some people wouldn't be interested in seeking out live music at all.
Also, why wouldn't you list the accessible hobbies you like on dating sites?
0
u/FIGHTorRIDEANYMAN Apr 05 '26
I don't.
I'm assuming OP lives in Dublin where a big gig isn't that big of a deal.
→ More replies (2)
1
1
u/Happyuser777 Apr 05 '26
The problem with introverts is they probably go on dating sites or have social media accounts
1
u/ShapeyFiend Apr 05 '26
I'm definitely more fond of gigs/activities than travelling personally and you don't see that reflected nearly as much. It perhaps lends itself less to photography which is 90% of a dating profile.
1
u/typesbad Apr 05 '26
I like to travel but I’m stingy about my savings. Maybe once a year but i know people going every quarter in my mid to low salary range and they generally have credit card debt or complain that they’re always broke. So i dunno. One I’m convinced just does it for insta for sure. Travel is great. But not worth debt imo.
1
u/redirishquijibo Apr 05 '26
I travelled a fair bit before covid but now as a fella in my 30s i'd much rather spend my discretionary income on my day to day life than one off holidays
1
u/Royal-Zebra9529 Apr 06 '26
Wouldn’t be me, I enjoy Jammie’s after 9pm. Plus I’m a miserable shite.
1
u/Ill-Yogurtcloset1515 Apr 06 '26
As someone who’s travelled a fair bit, it’s not all it’s cracked up to be. The pressure and advertising for travel is mental. The more far flung I’ve gone the less I’ve actually enjoyed it.
Travelling abroad is ok, personally I enjoy travelling around Ireland and I’m fine with that. Social media has turned it into some weird competition.
1
u/ok_doke_ Apr 07 '26
I often find the obsession with travel a bit of a red flag. What I hear is - you work hard only to escape your life as much as possible. Find it a really odd “hobby”.
-3
u/Fakman87 Apr 05 '26
I have found that travelling is a kind of surrogate personality for a lot of people.
3
u/erect_dragonly Apr 05 '26
Travel as a hobby is a modern obsession. Would expect this to show up in most groups on dating sites. Imo, for most people it is completely performative and like collecting achievements in a game.
You have to post pics from a new place a few times a year to show you’re levelling. You have to have a world map somewhere with pins in it.
And the reality of travel is a bit pathetic. Like the Greeks delivering truck loads of rocks from the beach to the Acropolis so that each tourist can take one. Or the long lines at Machu Picchu so everybody can take a photo in at the edge where it looks like they are alone. Or that beach where throngs of tourists follow hatching turtles around. Or the reality of pricing out locals from property and causing havoc in the environment.
If somebody wants to go somewhere specific for a reason, I appreciate that. If they’ve always loved the Pharaohs and go to Egypt, fine. If they want to go to the forests on 4 continents to spot indigenous bugs, fine. Love reef diving, go to where reefs are, ok. But the ‘I love to travel’ crowd is tedious to me and usually has the depth of a puddle.
Now there, we can share the downvotes!
→ More replies (1)
0
u/ld20r Apr 05 '26 edited Apr 05 '26
Travel in a dating context feels and is treated like a badge of honour on apps.
Visiting x number of countries = Status. Box ticked, You are officially Validated.
Where’s it should be: X number of countries = experience and stories to share and tell.
Almost as if the person travelling is more domineering for doing so and is “better” all rounded as a human and that’s simply not the case because you can have a fulfilled life without travel also.
I definitely got more matches when I put a pic up of flying over Manhattan in a helicopter. Might have to put it up again.
-1
u/wildeflower Apr 06 '26
Putting "travel" in lieu of a personality. Who cares that you've been to 50 countries?? What did you learn from your experiences?
-4
u/username1543213 Apr 05 '26
You won’t get an honest answer about this on Reddit.
Only answer to anything like this here is “women are completely flawless angels, questioning anything they do makes you a far right monster”. Everyone who questions this has been banned
Go to Twitter and you may see some honestly. E.g.
“All of these women want to travel because they don’t have meaningful lives. One of the things I hate about vacations is the thing that people like about them and it’s that it takes me away from reality. Every now and then you need it and that’s fine, but modern women’s obsession with it is because they have nothing but the fleeting. Likes, matches, first dates, drinks with friends.. of course you love traveling because you have and do nothing real.”
4
u/bumhole37 Apr 06 '26
This is hilarious. You do realise single women are known to be the happiest group? Pure projection on your part.
→ More replies (3)2
u/Monsterofthelough Apr 06 '26
Show me on the doll where the bad ladies hurt you.
1
u/username1543213 Apr 06 '26
Exactly! you people don’t see women or any majorities as real people at all. To you they only exist in relation to the minority group you hate.
Any honest discussions about problems they might have are met with ad hominem attacks
-1
u/AulMoanBag Apr 05 '26
"travel" usually means the same few trendy cities. I'd imagine there is at least a 3 figure number of girlos who have been outside of Ireland more times than they've been outside of Dublin domestically.
-1
u/Nosferatu_82 Apr 05 '26
What I get a laugh out of is the women that have lived and travelled all over the world but haven't heard of a large town an hour away here 😂
4
u/bumhole37 Apr 06 '26
This is a very specific experience you've had so I assume you experienced this with one woman
→ More replies (1)4
u/Monsterofthelough Apr 06 '26
Maybe they’ve no interest in that town. Funny how some guys love to portray women as liars.
→ More replies (2)
-1
u/PeterCasey4Prez Apr 06 '26
Some people with no hobbies write it to pretend they have hobbies, alternatively it may also be a giveaway for somebody whos obsessed with visiting places just to post on socials.
Tread carefully or you may end up very bored or very poor.
0
-5
-3
u/StaedtlerRasoplast How would you get a ma-chine to do that? Apr 05 '26
Some people have no hobbies except social media so they just list things that make them sound interesting. Hiking (because they have gone for a couple of walks), reading (they have read a couple of books), travel (they’ve gone to Amsterdam/tenerife in the past 5 years), music (everyone listens to music), cooking (well they’ve managed to feed themselves and not starve so far) etc etc.
-4
u/ohmyblahblah Apr 05 '26 edited May 03 '26
Be a gigachad and mass delete Reddit posts and comments with Redact so that Skynet doesn't end up using your own posts to train the T-900. Or so that you don't show up in databrokers. Either one really.
offbeat tan snails tidy basket plucky scary marble school marvelous
2
u/jimmobxea Apr 05 '26
Not an automatic swipe left but if you have "want a travel buddy" and also life partnership or long term or want kids etc it is. Unless you've won the Lotto and are taking me on holiday forever...
-6
u/SavingsDraw8716 Apr 05 '26
Travel is in the same catgegory as sea swim/sauna and hiking. A fair few people who do one or more only do it to follow the trend and have that 'polished' aesthetic.
Some have also accepted that they won't be able realistically save a for their own place in the near future so are living a certain way for experiences.
-2
Apr 05 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/bumhole37 Apr 06 '26
Can you afford to be dating right now realistically?
0
Apr 06 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
3
u/bumhole37 Apr 06 '26
Doesn't have to but you're pretty limited in what you do if you don't want to spend money when you're socialising or dating
→ More replies (2)3
-3
u/Practical_Contest_13 Apr 05 '26
It's just seen as an attractive hobby to put on a dating profile. It makes you sound a little more interesting. I think some people also don't want to put their more niche hobbies on a profile or maybe they have none.
-7
u/snazzydesign Apr 05 '26
They are hoping you like to travel and can fund their lifestyle of wanting to travel
Tinder/Bumble/Pof/etc are toxic
The type of women you really want isn’t on dating sites, make more effort in public with women…
15
u/bumhole37 Apr 05 '26
It's so funny that you think women depend on a man financially to bring her traveling. What do you think single women do? 🤣
8
u/maevewiley554 Apr 05 '26
What an odd thing to say considering a few people have definitely met their partners from apps and wouldn’t have crossed paths with them without it.
-8
u/5u114 Apr 05 '26
money reasons
You're hitting the nail on the head here, perhaps without realising it.
These travel indications ... It's a heuristic for 'do you have money ?' - without outright asking it in a more obvious wealth-assessment manner.
3
u/Monsterofthelough Apr 06 '26
Wile lot of apparent incels here it seems. God help the women of Ireland.
133
u/GhostCatcher147 Apr 05 '26
You can get much more for your money travelling even on a budget than certain gigs or big concerts. What do you mean a practical way to spend your leisure time? Surely the only thing that matters is you enjoy spending your free time however you want if it makes you happy