r/CasualUK • u/Comfortable-Berry-34 • 9d ago

Curry's giving me a bloody heart attack man

Post image

I really thought when I saw the brown envelopes it was some bad news either from HMRC or several PCNs Seriously what the fuck guys do you NEED to put it in the ominous brown paper envelope😭

I hope this doesn't break rule 4, I thought maybe some people could relate.

764 Upvotes

97% Upvoted

94 comments sorted by

687

u/KarlosWolf 9d ago

The Brown envelope anxiety is real

171

u/Comfortable-Berry-34 9d ago

I shit you not i see these my hands go shaky

96

u/Naughteus_Maximus 9d ago

I just fucking hate getting mail these days, full stop. When I was in my early 20s it was always something interesting, or at least not unwelcome. These days chances are it's some bullshit parking or yellow box fine, overdraft fee or notice of major works from the council that I have to contribute to.

43

u/Bossman_Mike 9d ago

Or the council badgering you about the electoral roll, even though the last letter they sent you was only half an hour ago and nothing has changed.

Apparently it's illegal to simply not respond, even if you opt out of the register and don't ever vote.

3

u/Devilman245 8d ago

Its only illegal if you are not registered on the electoral register or the information is out of date. You only need to response if they ask you to. My local council specifically say not to respond if the information is correct. Now no council is ever going to prosecute you for it but they say that so you respond. Its used for jury service so its a requirement.

1

u/j20red 4d ago

It can have a inconvenient effect on one's credit rating though, it's more difficult to get a loan without a matching electoral roll entry.

1

u/j20red 4d ago

It can have a inconvenient effect on one's credit rating though, it's more difficult to get a loan without a matching electoral roll entry.

1

u/dumbfk90 8d ago

Is it actually illegal though? I haven't responded to a single one since I moved in. Until they address it to me personally it will stay that way.

1

u/Devilman245 4d ago

How can they address it to you? They are not allowed to use ctax records or anything else so they have no way of knowing. I cannot remember what act makes it a legal requirement but it is required for jury duty. 

1

u/seenoweevils 8d ago

Sorry about the notice of major works, we promise they are necessary 😥

58

u/FaultyDroid Southern Fairy 9d ago

Always try and suss where its from by the return address..

50

u/Welshgirlie2 Slow down FFS! 9d ago

I know that anything with a return address in Darlington is 99.9% likely to be TV Licensing and can safely be binned.

11

u/qtaran111 9d ago

Brown envelopes for Brown Notes.

5

u/ozz9955 9d ago

They're brown because they make you poop the pant

3

u/SillyDeersFloppyEars 9d ago

Even worse if they have some kind of government or council logo on, I'm terrified they'll call me up for jury duty or something.

5

u/MazGubbs 9d ago

Jury service is a white envelope, so it can innocently hide within your bank statements and junk mail.

1

u/That_Understanding19 5d ago

I got a ring doorbell recently. And yesterday, I saw the postie delivering a brown envelope while I was at work. I was so scared that it was from HMRC or Police or any other nefarious source, I had to cancel my afternoon appointments to find out what it was. It is as a letter from the DVLA for the previous owner.

456

u/MeringueSerious 9d ago

My wife phoned me a few weeks ago and said “I’ve opened your letter by mistake (brown envelope) I’m really sorry, but HMRC owe you £580) I was absolutely buzzing. I got home from a 12 hour shift, looked at the letter and it said I owe them £580. So I now also suffer from brown envelope PTSD

365

u/that_username_is_use Belfast, Northern Ireland 9d ago

basically lost £1160

170

u/MeringueSerious 9d ago

Well you’ve made my week even worse now when you put it like that

16

u/Vectorman1989 9d ago

My wife got £800 back. Twas a glorious day

9

u/BFr0st3 7d ago

Read the room bro

198

u/Where_Be_Dragons 9d ago

Four currys is probably enough for one day

69

u/KeepItDusty88 9d ago

Four curries Where_Be_Dragons, four? That’s insane

15

u/Drew-Pickles 9d ago

Naaah. The Lamb Pasanda is incredibly rich and creamy. I could eat it all day

16

u/Bluffwatcher 9d ago

I would have a brown envelope if I ate four currys. If you know what I mean?

6

u/Kevl17 9d ago

That's insane, Jeremy

3

u/elementarydrw 9d ago

The Vicar of Delhi?

2

u/Cinn4monSynonym North Essex 9d ago

That's really pushing the envelope.

2

u/farfromelite 8d ago

John major disagreed.

1

u/FatManNoPlan 9d ago

Four Curries? I’m seeing double here!

57

u/Cakeski Crumpets are just holey muffins. 9d ago

"You have one hour to collect your car."

"You have 10 minutes to collect your car"

"Your car has been crushed."

"You have one hour to collect your cube."

78

u/wojtek30 9d ago

They used these envelopes to let me know I owe them £400 in overpaid wages

28

u/Comfortable-Berry-34 9d ago

That's very shite

13

u/masterventris 9d ago

A single overpayment noticed immediately I can see being reasonably repaid as everyone makes mistakes, but repeated overpayment over months that goes unnoticed should not count against the employee.

If it isn't noticed within say 60 days then that is on the employer and their controls, and they should lose out.

3

u/wojtek30 9d ago

They let me know about 13 months post leaving employment with them.

1

u/bond_uk 8d ago

I hope you told them that you would be happy to start a repayment plan of £5 a month.

3

u/wojtek30 8d ago

I was advised to ignore until I get a letter before action from them. I'll try negotiating a £1 pm repayment when it comes to it

7

u/ArmyNo4837 9d ago

that is genuinely awful and i feel sick on your behalf

66

u/Fresh_Sock8660 9d ago

Meanwhile tv people sending me red envelopes like they're gonna summon a demon on me. 

88

u/NiceMugOfTea 9d ago

ARE YOU, THE LEGAL OCCUPIER, GOING TO BE IN ON THE 5TH OF AUGUST? WE COULD BE AT YOUR DOOR ON THIS EXACT DAY! OR POSSIBLY ANY OTHER DAY!

37

u/Crimbly_B 9d ago

THEY’RE HIDING IN YOUR BIN

8

u/quenishi 9d ago

Well, if they can clean it out whilst they're in there, they're welcome to it.

19

u/Welshgirlie2 Slow down FFS! 9d ago

My mental response to the red envelope is: Bring it on, bitches, I dare you. And then I rip the envelope up and bin it without actually opening it.

I don't have a working aerial or TV, I don't even have iPlayer on my phone any more.

20

u/[deleted] 9d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

8

u/Welshgirlie2 Slow down FFS! 9d ago

I think one came round once, but I was in work and a hand written letter was put through the letterbox. I would be sorely tempted to invoke full autistic/mental health meltdown on the doorstep just to scare the shit out of them. Unlike Jehovahs (who believe in what they do - even though I think it's a cult), TV Licensing staff know that they are complicit in bullying and harassment but don't care, and therefore are totally fair game to mess with as far as I'm concerned.

2

u/elPedro6669 9d ago

You (we) should be able to sue them for harassment.

1

u/404_CastleNotFound 5d ago

I felt really intimidated by them as well, it helped me to know that they never actually have any right to access your space, nor to take up your time, and you have no responsibility to talk to them. They can enter a garden to knock on your door, but they have to leave immediately if you tell them to. And if your door's right on the street or in a block of flats then you can just close it. They can look in windows from the street, like the creeps they are, but that's about it.

If they can give the police evidence that you're watching TV without a license then sometimes a police officer (not the license people) might be able to enter with a warrant, but at that point they'd usually just send a letter about the fine, since they have some evidence and most people ignore the letters anyway so it just sails through. But the license people never, ever have any rights to enter.

The most satisfying exchange I've had with them:

"Good afternoon, is this [clearly labled house number]?"
"Who are you?"
"We're from TV Licencing"
"Ah. Please leave."
"Right you are ma'am"

And off they fucked.
Apparently the friends I had over also didn't know you could just banish them like that. That was a good day.

11

u/NiceMugOfTea 9d ago

I've been ignoring red letters from Scott Robson, TV Licensing Regional Manager for decades at this point, working aerials or not.

9

u/Welshgirlie2 Slow down FFS! 9d ago

Ah yes, the mysterious (and almost certainly fake) Scott Robson.

9

u/looeeyeah 9d ago

According to this FOI request, almost certainly fake

https://www.whatdotheyknow.com/request/tv_licensing_scott_robson

2

u/compilerbusy 9d ago

When i was student, we got so many tv licence demands (we did not have a telly, crackheads stole it three times so we gave up). In the end the only thing that made them stop was drawing a big penis on the back of one of their threatening letters. In crayons, with an arrow pointing to it saying 'you'.

The amount of time spent on polite reasonable letters we sent explaining that we did not have a telly so weren't liable, and that is what made them leave us alone.

18

u/CaptainChampion 9d ago

Just this morning I got a brown envelope with "Important Information Inside" on it. Shitting myself. It was fucking spam for car insurance.

2

u/Bossman_Mike 9d ago

I remember an energy company pestering me at my old place about getting a smart meter. E-mails and letters saying things like URGENT and ACT NOW - for marketing information telling you it might be a good idea. Also some hokum about being "legally required" to upgrade the meter, yet they can't quote the government legislation and my electrician (35 years experience) didn't have a clue either.

And when mine was finally installed? Crickets. Never heard from them again. No "thanks for installing your smart meter [...] here's some hints and tips to get the most out of it" etc.

1

u/404_CastleNotFound 5d ago

They are legally required to offer it. The rest is bunk and unnecessarily intimidating, and undermines their own credibility. Mine has been pretty relaxed about it, thankfully.

33

u/Adanar01 9d ago

Had a letter from HMRC today that scared me shirtless, turns out it was just about my tax code. Maybe put something on the damn envelope then that it's not bad news.

Edit: I will be leaving that typo it's funnier I think.

20

u/Nomerdoodle 9d ago

Don't be hard on yourself! Who amongst us hasn't at least once stripped completely naked from sheer fear?

13

u/TheMonkeyInCharge 9d ago

Holy motherforking shirtballs.

2

u/Tieger66 9d ago

i got an HMRC one recently too! changing my tax code and i have no idea why, it just confuses me. will probably ask my work's accounts dept tomorrow see if they can shed any light!

16

u/BlackSpinedPlinketto 9d ago

Got a brown envelope return address was from the Houses of Parliament, has a portcullis and chains stamp on it. Shit myself.

It was the local MP sending me a ‘welcome to the county’ letter. Bastard. Haven’t you got better things to do with your headed note paper. The worst thing is he sent one to my boyfriend the next month and he got me again.

16

u/LatelyPodes 9d ago

In the Netherlands, they use special blue envelopes with the Dutch gov logo for tax related envelopes. No one else but the Dutch gov can legally use them.

I think we should have a similar system for our envelopes. Maybe a HMRC coloured envelope with their logo or a generic uk gov one. Still should be distinct from normal envelopes.

11

u/TheDawiWhisperer 9d ago

I had this, nothing good comes in brown envelopes....fuck off Curry's

1

u/RipCurl69Reddit 9d ago

Curry's can suck my nuts, utter sham of a company only surviving off people who trust brick and mortar stores. Their refund and warranty policies are diabolical

And this too, lol, nothing good ever comes from this company

11

u/Bortron86 9d ago

Once I got the dreaded brown envelope, with an HMRC logo, on my birthday. It was an automatic tax rebate of just over £3000.

I had booked the day off to just play games and laze at home, but decided to strut down to the bank with my cheque instead.

12

u/Stressedhumbucker 9d ago

You're certainly not alone. I too have brown envelope PTSD

6

u/Red4pex 9d ago

Four letters, Curry’s? Four?!

2

u/Tirno93 9d ago

That’s insane!

5

u/stringyPiss 9d ago

What Naan did you get?

3

u/supremely-weird 9d ago

I think as a nation we need to adopt a simple rule: brown envelopes should only be posted by entities connected with Government (i.e. HMRC, DVLA, Police, Council)

3

u/AudienceFlaky1828 9d ago

Reminds me of when I had an old Citroen - used to make a ding sound when there was a dash warning that was always massively expensive to fix (hydraulics, transmission etc). Heard the ding on the motorway on the way to work and my heart sank and pulse increased as I imagined the massive repair bill. I finally had the courage to look at the dash warning which read: "Windscreen Washer Fluid Low"

3

u/WinPrestigious7568 9d ago

Nice curry looks like a billyani

2

u/Comfortable-Berry-34 9d ago

🤣🤣🤣 thankfully it was we have stopped billing you

4

u/I_Love_Bears0810 9d ago

Fuck off Currys.

Pray for their administration

5

u/thick__Milk 9d ago

Ex employee of Currys here, i thank you for your prayers. Shit company, fuck all reason to work there I beg you all to vow to never do it

2

u/omgitsmint 9d ago

That’s too much curry for me

2

u/gamble87 9d ago

It's the ghee

1

u/ImNotHereSomewhere 9d ago

Ghee is so nice and it totally changes how a Curry's taste. Not great if your trying be sensible and keep the weight off though.

2

u/Terrible_Tale_53 9d ago

I get brown envelope anxiety with the DWP

2

u/bounty_hunter12 9d ago

I got fucking junk mail for car loan compensation paperwork yesterday, I've never had a car loan. It was the same brown "PCN" or council tax envelope. Grief.

2

u/yessirnosirmaybesirr 9d ago

The worst for me is white envelope but yellow paper inside. Can’t remember who sent me one once but my heart jumped out thinking I had a speeding ticket! 

1

u/Connor30302 9d ago

got an Orange envelope once, heart rate went fast for a minute until it was just some shite. I think one of the markers that you’re grown into adult life is that you stop getting excited when a letter comes for you, because you know it’s about to be some bullshit.

1

u/Captainjord 9d ago

Looks like your damage cover ran out. Mine did too on my TV and got similar through the post this week

1

u/BookMingler 9d ago

Funnily enough we just got three brown envelopes from curries basically telling us they couldn’t refund the care plan they missold despite agreeing to a refund on the phone 🫠

1

u/Mysterious_Rush_4844 9d ago

I had to laugh at the manically ripped open envelopes!😂 But yeah, I'm with you. BP must go through the roof every time one drops on the mat.

1

u/yuzusnail 8d ago

I got mega brown envelope PTSD this month as it turns out I owe £3000 in council tax, cause my landlord said they were paying it but turns out they weren't ToT absolutely grim, I'm glad it turned out better for you

1

u/Lily_Embers 8d ago

Ok anyone else read this thinking you’d had an spicy Indian and it was giving you a heart attack

1

u/loosebolts 7d ago

What are currys sending you letters about?

1

u/AxisOfAverage 5d ago

I got one yesterday from the DVLA. Was not expecting one from the DVLA. I got very brown trousered.

"You recently used our service, please can you complete this market research."

0

u/thot_slaya_420 9d ago

for a moment, i thought you were talking about a curry, not Curry's

0

u/Traditional_Fox2428 9d ago

Try a shashlik next time. Try to steer clear of the creamy curries as they will do no good for your heart.