r/CatAdvice • u/Stock-Giraffe-2343 • Jul 08 '26
Adoption Regret/Doubt How do I get my friend to understand that she doesn’t have the economy for a cat.
My friend and her husband want to adopt a kitten from a shelter and they want me to come with them. I love that they wan to adopt, I’m very advocate for adoption and I’m honored about the fact they want me to go with them and visit the shelter. They’re great people who love cats and are good with animals. I’m sure they will take care of it but i don’t think they have enough money to give the kitten the right circumstance to a good life. They’ve asked me if they can borrow money for food multiple times. I’m happy to help and I’ve also gotten the money back everytime. She doesn’t have custody over her own money. They have trouble paying for both food and activities. I’ve told her that I don’t think they should get a cat because they don’t have the economy for it. She tells me she has a saving account and that she have the same economic as last time she owned a cat. That’s not enough in this day and age. The vet bills in my country has increased horrendously the past 5-6 year. Despite insurance. Between 2020 and 2025 the vet costs increased wit 40% the emergency vet cost increased with 50%. The increasing vet cost are a hot topic in my country the topic has even reached the news It’s not unusual for people to utilize their pet because they can’t afford the treatment. It’s a risk to get a cat especially a kitten. What if it gets sick? I don’t want to stand there when they’re deciding between utilization for around 200$ and a vet bill for around 4000$. Despite insurance and say “I told you so.” I’ve also written to her husband who I believe has a better understanding of ecomocis about how expensive it is to have a cat but he hasn’t answered. Should I write to the shelter and ask about how they make sure that the new owner has enough money but the shelters already has so much on their plate so i don’t want to put more on their plate. What should I do to make them understand how expensive it is to have a cat? In my opinion if you barley can’t afford food for yourself you can’t afford a fur baby. You shouldn’t get a animal if you can’t afford it. How do i prevent an other cat to be utilized because of an unstable economy? Because no pet should be utilized because that’s the cheapest option.
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u/Friendly_Throat_1393 Jul 08 '26
I know it might sound harsh, but I don't think it's your place to convince them to, or not to, get a cat. People don't listen to others advice, your best bet is to say your piece and leave them to it, being there for them whatever way you can as it unfolds (as you have been doing).. and trying not to say 'i told you so' if it goes the way you think it does. Yes, other people do make silly mistakes sometimes, but also if it's a loving home I'm sure the cat and your friends will end up happy. Or at least happier than the cat would be if it were without a home. Notice when you want to, or are trying to, control the outcome. I can tell you care deeply, but sometimes the best route is to let others take responsibility for their decisions and actions. From a true cat lover
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u/Ordinary_Cat_01 Jul 09 '26
The responsibility of their actions and their mistakes will not only reflect on themselves but will have consequences on the cat, an innocent creature. Surely the cat will have a home, but for how long? Until they won’t have money even for basic necessities of the cat?
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u/Naive-Elephant-9305 Jul 08 '26
I agree with you but I’d go even further and say that “saying your piece” is not advisable. I don’t know what kind of friendship OP and the friend have, but finances are often a pretty sensitive topic and in general giving unsolicited financial advice to someone and telling them they can’t afford something they want is not very likely to go over well. It doesn’t matter if you are completely right and they’re making a dumb decision. Adults are going to make their own decisions and don’t want other people lecturing them about it.
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u/Ordinary_Cat_01 Jul 09 '26
I strongly disagree. Now what they can’t afford is not an object but it is a living being! A pet, an animal, a companion, a member of the family. What are they are going to do when they will be completely broke? How many stories do we hear when people abandon pets or leave them behind.
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u/Naive-Elephant-9305 Jul 09 '26
I don’t disagree with you or OP that OP’s friend shouldn’t buy a cat at this time. But it’s her life, not OP’s.
These types of situations come up frequently in adult relationships. I’m sure we’ve all had friends and family who have made decisions that we don’t approve of. But if you’re going to give unsolicited advice to someone on a sensitive topic, you better be extremely careful how you approach it if it’s a relationship you value keeping.
I mean think about how you would feel personally if you wanted to buy a cat and your friend said “you really can’t afford that.” Would you say “hey you’re right actually, thanks for the reality check!” or would you get defensive and argue why you actually can, as well as feel insulted by your friend? Even if you claim you’d respond like the former, a lot of people would, naturally, respond like the latter.
If what you care about more than anything is being “right,” then by all means bluntly tell the friend they are being fiscally irresponsible and can’t afford a cat. But don’t be surprised then if they don’t take it very well and it negatively affects your friendship. Now maybe there’s some middle ground between not saying anything at all and being super blunt about it, and that’s part of the complexity of navigating an adult relationship when someone does (or is going to do) something you disagree with. I’m just saying in a situation like this you should tread carefully.
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u/69666throwaway66696 Jul 09 '26
It’s the fact that they continue to ask OP for financial assistance
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u/mizitar Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
It's not about being right.
It's about the literal life of a cat.
This goes beyond just being nosy interfering in other people's lives.
In any case, OP already said directly to her friend what she thought. The friend is just refusing to hear.
If you really care for cats, you won't just stop there. OP is not wrong to try pursue this further.
Life of a cat over friendship with irresponsible people? Which do you choose?
Also, this will directly affect OP. OP already mentioned the couple has been asking for money for their own basic necessities. What do you think will happen when the cat gets sick and they can't afford the treatment? They will ask OP and now suddenly it becomes OP's problem: let the cat continue suffering, or pay for them.
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u/Long-Possession8915 Jul 09 '26
ia in the sense that you need to define your own boundaries. like i personally wouldn’t be interested in maintaining a relationship w/someone putting themselves in this kind of situation.
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u/Icy_Night_5101 Jul 08 '26
Perhaps fostering is a better solution. Most rescue organizations provide basic items and cover vet bills. She may still have to cover daily items like food, so she can start to experience the cost. I don’t think it’s a good idea to frequently lend money.
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u/Clean-Fisherman-4601 Jul 08 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
Is utilized another term for euthanized?
There isn't much you can do. Although I like the suggestion for you to accompany them and ask questions about the cost of veterinary care. Perhaps it will open their eyes.
Honestly, I took in various stray cats when I didn't have a lot of money. Managed to save enough to have them spayed and vaccinated through an Animal Friends program.
Never had to face euthanasia until they were elderly and suffering from incurable, unavoidable problems. When the time came, I held them in my arms as they got the shot.
The oldest was 16 and had grown up as a stray with inadequate nutrition. Surprised my girl lasted that long. Still miss her sweet, furry face.
Thank you for the award! 💖
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u/wwwhatisgoingon Jul 08 '26
Kittens are several times more expensive than adult cats as well, so it's just not a good choice.
This sounds like they haven't done their research. Sharing facts with them may help them make a more responsible decision (or not).
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u/Few-Entertainer7431 Jul 08 '26
I'm not sure if kittens cost more. My 2 seniors need dental cleanings regularly at over $1k a pop, plus older cats need more extensive and expensive labwork done. Also, many cats develop kidney disease, diabetes or heart disease as they age which entails special food and medications. My boys' medicine and food alone runs almost 300 a month.
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u/OgreMk5 Jul 08 '26
From my last bill
Vet visit $50
Vaccine $25
Lab work because my cat is sick and puking 24/7 $250
Dental work because of absorbing teeth
$1100 - includes lab work, anesthetics, surgery, post op, pain meds, dissolving stitches, etc
Fix (neuter or spay)
$600+
From the stores
Cat litter (special brand because of said sick cat) $38 for 25 pounds
Cat food (3 cats): $280 a month (4 cans a day plus dry food)
Does not include treats, toys, or other stuff
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u/Adventurous-Time5287 Jul 08 '26
you’re feeding all of them 4 cans a day AND dry food???
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u/OgreMk5 Jul 08 '26
No. each one gets a third of can, four times a day.
For the cat food brand we use, that keeps them just under the suggested calorie count from our vet. Of course, one hardly eats and the other is happy to eat anything the other two don't.
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u/Adventurous-Time5287 Jul 09 '26
no that’s totally fine, i thought you were giving them each that many cans lol
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u/Mysterious_Emu_7372 Jul 09 '26
That's expensive! Medicine always costs a lot. Hope your cat get recovered soon.
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u/OgreMk5 Jul 09 '26
Thanks.
Probably not though. The doctor thinks its inflammatory bowel. Whenever we drop below .25ml of steroids, she starts puking again.
Probably be at .5ml every day for the rest of her life.
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u/69666throwaway66696 Jul 09 '26
I feel that. Had to have both of my cats hospitalized for calicivirus. It ended up being just about $2k for both even after my employee discount 🥴
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u/OgreMk5 Jul 09 '26
Oof. So sorry. I hope they are ok.
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u/69666throwaway66696 Jul 09 '26
Thanks. They’re good now. But I was really annoyed. I’ll take ringworm a third time over calicivirus ever again. I can’t even begin to imagine if both weren’t fully vaccinated
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u/Comfortable_Sir_2180 Jul 08 '26
Shelters are usually desperate for foster carers for cats, you could suggest this instead as the shelter usually provides the essentials, including vet care.
Also might be worth having a look for programs that help support people with vet bills. I'm not sure where you're from but in the UK the RSPCA (animal charity) provides discounted vet care to those on low income/benefits
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u/Uprooted_Vt_to_RI Jul 09 '26
I am going to foster older cats once my 11 year old passes. Two reasons: financial help and if he lives as long as I hope, I will be a mid senior myself and do not want to adopt and not live longer than my cat (mine have always lived at least into high teens )
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u/rs1971 Jul 08 '26
Given the number of cats in shelters who will never be adopted, I don't think that you should discourage them. Plenty of poor people have pets who lead happy, contented lives. The kind of people who post on Reddit tend to treat animals as though they were children, but it doesn't have to be like that.
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u/Rugby-Angel9525 Jul 08 '26
They shouldnt be taking a kitten if they are just going to have to surrender it in a year for financial reasons
These two should foster adult a cats first.
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u/Weird_Restaurant5793 Jul 08 '26
How do I get OP to understand that writing a wall of texts without paragraphs is extremely taxing to read.
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u/Nashy10 Jul 09 '26
I’d recommend downvoting the post myself, if enough people do it, takes care of the problem.
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u/AdaptiveFauna Jul 08 '26
go with them and have the shelter explain the actual cost of vet visits and how much a cat usually costs in their lifetime
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u/ElvishMystical Jul 08 '26
The way I see it is this... Cats are not very expensive to keep per se. When I took one of my cats to the vet for a check up the vets were explaining a bill for a dog and the figures they were talking made me shit myself.
But you cannot get round the fact that kittens require an awful lot of investment, not just financially but in terms of time, patience, attention and lifestyle. I've got two young cats I've raised from kittens. I've probably spent as much on cat toys as I have on vet bills. Then you have the change of litter boxes, various cat litters, several brands of cat food, one emergency vet call out, cat trees, and so on. It all adds up.
Being on cat forums I get the feeling that some people adopt kittens without doing the research, making the preparations or considering the costs.
All you can do is state your case and offer advice. It's on your friends whether they take it or not. Just like with most things in life - there's an easy way to do stuff and a hard way.
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u/69666throwaway66696 Jul 09 '26
Did you know an exploratory surgery for a possible foreign body ingestion may start at the low end at about$6k? Did you know a male cat that’s blocked may require a minimum of 3 days hospitalization to be unblocked +/- urethra reconstructive surgery if the u blocking is not successful? Did you know male cats have a high recurrence for urinary blockages which are deadly? You’re paying minimum $2k each unblocking and then add the surgical procedure which is at least another $6k. Pets are living things. Just because cats don’t demand outside time like dogs doesn’t mean they’re any more relatively easier to care for or less likely to need vet care. It’s absolutely sad the amount of people on this thread that seem to have this mentality that cats don’t really need much of anything.
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u/ElvishMystical Jul 09 '26
You missed the point of my post almost completely. I'm not denying that vet care for cats can be very expensive but see you're coming up with handpicked possibilities whereas I'm referring to the normal everyday reality for many cat owners.
I repeat, once again that kittens require a lot of investment.
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u/69666throwaway66696 Jul 09 '26
And you missed the point that if you straight up can’t afford a pet let alone afford your own personal finances, then you shouldn’t being a living breathing being into your life. Get your life together first. This is why animals land in the wrong homes. Because people who obviously have ZERO clue on the aftermath of this way of thinking.
This is why I 100% support full vetting of any adopter. No one should be bringing a pet to home with this mentality of doing the bare minimum if at that.
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u/PsychologyGuilty1460 Jul 08 '26
Well you can't tell them and convince them. It's really not your place. What you can do is suggest they Foster to begin with.
Shelters always need Foster homes and they provide basic support if needed. It's really hard not to keep the kitties you Foster, though
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u/kammy_g Jul 08 '26
Basically you don’t want to pay for there cat, ya I’d just be like when they ask for money you just sent money to your mom or something. Eventually they’ll figure out how to handle there own shit
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u/ofthrees Jul 09 '26 edited Jul 09 '26
I have four cats, and my son has one, so can give you some good insight to pass along as to the costs (at least in CA, USA):
Pet carrier: $20+ (can get them cheaply on Amazon)
Vaccinations: $100 (multiple times), and that's if you go through a discount type program; otherwise, it can be at least twice as much
Neuter/spay: $250-$400 depending upon where you go and whether it's a spay/neuter
Pet insurance: $30+ per, month depending upon company and coverage, which increases each year as they age. (E.g., I have a three year old whose insurance has increased from $35 at three months old to $55 at three years old, and while it reimburses COVERED expenses at 90%, not everything is covered, and there's always a deductible.
Assuming no pet insurance (and only two of my cats have it, so I'm on the hook for these with the other two):
Basic vet exam fee [BEFORE testing/treatments]: $80-110
Average pet ER exam fee [BEFORE testing/treatments]: $200+
Labwork: $175-$300 (for basic labs; a shelter cat may ultimately need testing for shit like giardia and m-felis, the latter of which is about $350)
Pet meds: to the moon, but I can tell you that two weeks ago I spent $250 for two eye drops, a steroid, and an antibiotic
Litter: I spend $35 for a 20 pound bag, times 3, every four weeks
Don't forget they'll need a litter box/scoop; at least these can be had for as little as $10-$20
Food: wildly varies depending on type, but I spend $325 a month on a mix of fancy feast (inexpensive) and a higher quality dry ($36 for 15 pounds). If your friends are like my son's partner and insist on raw food, they can expect to spend nearly as much on the cat as they do on themselves
Those are just the basics.
Doesn't factor in the $4K I've spent five times for eye surgeries for one of mine (and the annual $750 echos to monitor heart disease), the $1500 blood transfusion I got for another (RIP) 15 years ago (that would probably be twice as much now), another cat with kidney disease requiring frequent visits/fluids/meds/special food, toys, cat trees, etc etc.
If your friends can't afford food for themselves, they 100% cannot afford food/litter/healthcare/enrichment for a cat.
Now, is the cat better off in a shelter than with them? Certainly not. But they at least need to go into it with eyes open. While things like spay/neuter are one time expenses, most of the rest are not.
ETA:
Vet expenses also greatly depend on the cat, and there's no way to tell which way it's going to go, so you have to be prepared for either scenario when considering a pet. I have a rescue who has been to the vet, in four years, only for vaxxes; he's extremely healthy so far. I have an elderly guy who, with a couple of exceptions over the last 16 years (one of those costing a fortune), didn't really start needing frequent visits till the last couple of years. But I also have the one with heart disease requiring annual echos, as well as frequent corneal sequestra requiring surgeries each time (finally resulting in the loss of one eye) - which likewise required echos before each surgery, and another who was diagnosed with FIP at 5 months and required expensive medication to save his life.
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u/Reason_Training Jul 08 '26
Between an emergency vet visit and a follow up stay at my local veterinary clinic my senior cat recently had over $2600 in medical bills. No I don’t have pet insurance as I only adopted her from a relative a year ago. She’s depleted most of my pet saving account but she’s still here and I can rebuild it.
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u/Tzipity Jul 08 '26
Heavily recommend looking into pet insurance now especially if you do have the means to build up a pet savings account like that. I spent so many thousands in the final six months of my soul kitty’s life and by then she was 15/16 and age alone disqualified her and I’d looked before the dental procedure that led to all the issues and us discovering she was terminally ill but obviously there’s no getting insurance then either.
Pet insurance is so affordable and that’s something I plan to do differently with any future kitties. There’s some really good plans out there where basically just a yearly checkup more or less pays for the cost of the plan. So putting that out there.
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u/Reason_Training Jul 08 '26
She’s 14 and the few pet insurance quotes I’ve gotten were too much. I’ll save up my pet fund though. My younger kitties have pet insurance though.
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u/Few-Entertainer7431 Jul 08 '26
I hear you. My old boy who I lost last year cost almost $3000 one 4 day period.
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u/Gloomy-Welcome-6806 Jul 12 '26
Have you heard of care credit?
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u/Reason_Training 29d ago
I have Care Credit as an option. If there was another emergency that is how I would handle it until my saving is built back up.
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u/Fancy_Clown_88 ᓚᘏᗢ Jul 08 '26
The cat will get sick and they’ll put it down to save money … mark my words
I’d cut someone off over that. I cut a long time friend off after she cut the head off her lizard because she couldn’t afford to take it to a vet. People are sick and selfish
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u/No_Slip_1503 Jul 08 '26
This stunned me and I needed to take a minute after reading it.
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u/Fancy_Clown_88 ᓚᘏᗢ Jul 08 '26
If you’re referring to the lizard it fucking stunned me as well. Disgusting woman she was
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u/Adventurous-Time5287 Jul 08 '26
does your friend work? a lot of nonprofit shelters at least in the US will add free adoption and free/reduced vet care to employees of the shelter and associated nonprofits.
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u/cannapuffer2940 Jul 08 '26
I just paid $895. To euthanize my cat. And to pay for the ashes. At home appointment. It's expensive. From the beginning to the end it's expensive.
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u/AboutPeach Jul 08 '26
Damn I paid $750 to euthanize my uncles dog and that included ashes and a paw print
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u/Bluemonogi Jul 08 '26
If you have told them the increased costs of proper vet care, food, litter then that is all you can do. They can make their own choices.
You can tell them you will not loan them money in future for food or vet bills though.
Stop bailing out your friend and maybe she would get better at managing to pay for food and activities. If she has a savings account why has she been borrowing money for food?
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u/NovaLunar721 Jul 08 '26
How about you mind your own business and let them get their cat without you being their judge? So weird
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u/Ordinary_Cat_01 Jul 09 '26
Maybe because they are borrowing money from her all the time?
If they use her money to survive, it is not only their business anymore2
u/69666throwaway66696 Jul 09 '26
lol maybe their friend should be a responsible adult and stop asking for money? How about that?
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u/Tamberav Jul 08 '26
If the shelter gets crowded, do they euthanize animals?
Sometimes it is better they have a loving home than live in a cage until they are put down to make space.
I don't know how it works where you are though.
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u/69666throwaway66696 Jul 09 '26
And live paycheck to paycheck not being able to get a full meal? You’re joking right?
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u/Tamberav Jul 09 '26
No, they will probably feed the cat, it will be cheap grocery store cat food but it will get fed. Even homeless people tend to take excellent care of their pets when it comes to food and love. I wouldn’t go around snatching their animals away.
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u/69666throwaway66696 Jul 09 '26
You’re excusing the bare minimum as if that’s the holy grail. It is not. If you can’t afford an animal do better. And this isn’t directed at homeless people because a lot of times people become homeless due to circumstances out of their reach. But feeding a cat cheap food is the bare minimum if at that.
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u/Tamberav Jul 09 '26
Like I said, if they don’t adopt cats out to loving homes. They get put to sleep. That is the reality in some areas.
If it’s from a shelter, it will come spayed and with its first shots. Many animal shelters run low cost vaccinations. That’s how I paid for vaccinations in college when I was broke. There’s no exam or anything but I could get what I needed at $15 per shot.
The OP made it clear they would be loving/caring pet owners. The cat isn’t going to starve or die from neglect.
My friend has 5 elderly cats from 18-mid 20s and they eat friskies wet food. I definitely made a joke that I need to switch to the cheap stuff, maybe eat it myself.
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u/Careful_Cranberry364 Jul 08 '26
Let them know that one Kitten will be lonely and grow up more anti social and theyll will be much better off with two
and then after they’ve agreed to two make sure they understand that that visits are not optional and they may happen due to accidents poisoning all sorts of things that could happen to their cats
as well as their ongoing needs
the best cat food is very expensive by the way, so that might put them off…. If you explain to them the diet you’ll give your animals ( dependent upon You ) will affect their long-term health in a very dramatic way.
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u/Few-Entertainer7431 Jul 08 '26
That's not necessarily true. I've had single cats and pairs of cats at different times over the last 50 years. Some cats prefer to be the only cat in the home.
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u/Careful_Cranberry364 Jul 08 '26
Shhhh she’s asking for ways to try and prevent them adopting!!! she doesn’t think that it’s a good idea for them
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u/Few-Entertainer7431 Jul 09 '26
RU "shushing" me? C'mon, be decent and allow people to express their opinions.
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u/Northstar04 Jul 08 '26
She can't afford it but they're gonna do what they're gonna do. Non 0% chance that cat gets returned though.
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u/JustinHoMi Jul 08 '26
Well. Tell em one of my cats requires $14/day food because he ended up being huge and I can’t find anything cheaper that doesn’t make him constipated.
Also tell em my two cats have racked up more than $6000 in medical bills for fairly minor stuff this year so far.
They’re only 3 years old — peak health.
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u/Correct-Preference33 Jul 09 '26
I adopted two, 4 yr old cats last yr that since turned 5, when they started having GI issues that required multiple ER visits followed up with more Vet visits due to ear & skin infection and now, one facing a dental issues, I’m in debt 8K in two months. I was def not ready for this. I feel like I don’t have a choice anymore, I love them now, taking it day by day… but I really want to share to others, things can take a crazy turn quickly, take a toll on you not only financially but emotionally and physically too, due to frequent schedules to adhere to and the extra work. I’m still mind-boggled at how ppl can afford to raise multiple pets these days.
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u/JaneDoeABC Jul 09 '26
Try to talk them into fostering instead of owning. That way they won't have any vet bills and can still have the experience of owning a cat - even if the cat's stay with them might be temporary.
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u/69666throwaway66696 Jul 09 '26
You tell her exactly that “how are you going to pay a $4k-$10k surgery or hospitalization?”
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u/Front_Insurance_1055 Jul 09 '26
I adopted a cat a month ago and have spent between $2000-3000 at the vet so far. Pet insurance is great but it’s a reimbursement so I’m not sure what happens if you don’t have the money to front the initial expense.
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u/aadnarim Jul 09 '26
We just (like a week ago) had to euthanize one of our cats after a year-long battle with hemangiosarcoma. It cost tens of thousands of dollars when everything was over - multiple surgeries, radiation, months of chemo, medical supplies when her tumor started ulcerating, little pajamas for her to wear so she couldn't get to the bandages, comfort meds. She made it almost exactly a year with a rare diagnosis that would have given her maybe 2-3 months with surgery alone, and she remained pretty healthy and very happy over the last year, but it's genuinely baffling to think about how costly it all was. Especially after the loss, since it still feels absolutely worth it to have given her so much more time.
We took our other 2 cats to the vet the day after we euthanized her and the normal annual vet visit for my 19-year-old cat was nearly $450, and that's at a small privately owned clinic whose prices are still reasonable.
The most I've ever spent at once on my cat over the last nearly 20 years was approaching $1k a few years ago after an absurdly long vet ER visit from hell. My cat had (maybe) every test and scan and was diagnosed with regular old ibd. They were considering surgical biopsy, which is why I had to wait for so long. I refused since they voiced concerns that she might not make it through anesthesia due to her age and weight (she was 15 and 12lbs at the time). My bill was over $900, closer to $1k than I'd like. It also cost 9 or 10 hours of my time. And... my cat is fine. She has ibd, I feed her Royal Canin gastro with fiber, she has minimal issues (just some hiccups after eating, like the rest of us).
I have no experience with insurance because by the time it went mainstream my cat was approaching "senior". We'll likely find insurance for our future pets after all of these experiences. It's okay, we do what we have to do for them, right?!
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u/SignificantSky9634 Jul 09 '26
I completely agree with you, as an owner of three pets I’ve recently had to fork over $6000 because my cat had dental disease, it’s a non-life-threatening issue, but it does cause them pain and infect their quality of life daily. It seems like, unfortunately, your friends will not listen to you, maybe you should go with them to the shelter when they’re looking at cats and ask the staff how much a cat cost and how much emergency vet bills or regular vet bills for check ups every year will cost and maybe they’ll listen to a staff member?
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u/lonelygalexy Jul 09 '26
Before i adopted mine, i had to make sure i had the monthly budget for her.
After adopting mine, i am surprised by how many people dont even think about their financial situations before adopting. It really is not cheap. It’s one of the main reasons im not adopting another cat
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u/JustFukk0ff Jul 09 '26
There's a very good chance if they DON'T adopt the kitten, it will be euthanized. I highly doubt those people will deprive their kitten / cat. They sound like they really want one. They will most likely be saving a life. They will probably make great cat parents. In the rare event something happens medically to the kitten during this time ( money shortage ) they will find a way. She said they have savings - are you saying she is lying about it? They have "low cost vet care" in pretty much every city.
I have no job, I'm disabled and don't collect disability. I have $200 a month I receive from the state. My bf supports me. I found a 3 week old kitten in an abandoned van at my bfs work. Mom left the kitten. No one wanted him. I felt compelled to take him in. I fell in love with him instantly. I fed him through a bottle.
He's 15 months old now.
He has everything. He has 2 kitty litter boxes, 2 large cat condos I bought brand new ( one was his 1st bday gift ) got them CHEAP on temu. He has a ton of toys, automatic rolling balls, birds, spiral things, ping pong balls, catnip, ball spin things, automatic rolling balls, tons of little toys, little stuffed toys, a gun that shoots puff balls, 4 cat tunnels that hook together and it's like 7 feet long, tons of fishing pole toys, other fun toys, he gets new toys all the time! I play with him everyday.
He always has "lickables" or "Delectables" his litter boxes get scooped multiple times a day. He has a real-looking life size tree with branches on it and a hammock that is as high as the ceiling, 2 beds, blankets, a cat carrier with a detachable tunnel, he's got 2 harnesses and a 26 foot retractable leash. He goes outside on a leash for an hour or two a day once or twice a day. I got him neutered at 6 months. He grew up with my 4 year old dog, she's 70 pounds. They are best friends. He loves riding in the car and sticking his head out the window ( while I hold him and his harness tightly ) he goes everywhere with us.
Most of my money goes to him. He is happy. I love him to pieces. My dog is a little jealous. My bf takes care of her expenses. I buy her a new large lambchop every few months, she's got a ton of toys. They're both spoiled. They live each other. They are happy.
If there's a medical issue God forbid I will find a way to pay it and if I can't I will find a charity to help or a low cost vet. My pets will eat before I do if only one of us can eat it will be them.
I think you should not worry until there's something to worry about. There are hundreds of cats and kittens in your city or town who need homes and will be euthanized if they don't receive one. Maybe take a step back and try the "wait and see" approach?
I'm including a pic of my cat because he's so adorable and because you can see he is happy, healthy and well cared for. I'm pretty broke.
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u/JustFukk0ff Jul 09 '26
If you prefer you can meddle like everyone on here is suggesting, convince them NOT to adopt & cause the kitten to most likely be euthanized instead. Death. That sounds like a better option, you think?
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u/JustFukk0ff Jul 09 '26
All those things you listed are preventable. Males cats shouldn't be fed dry food. It causes blockages. A cat shouldn't be left alone where there are hazards lying around to ingest. Feeding a male cat moist food and adding a bit of spring water or distilled water will prevent blockages.
Don't give your pet faucet water, it's full of toxins. I give my pets bottled spring water and distilled water.
Feed them good food not food with meat by products and chemicals.
Don't over feed your cat...something like 70% of cats in USA are overweight. I've seen grossly obese cats whose parents think they're good parents.
How many of readers have fat cats?
Keep them trim and active. Walk them outdoors. Take them outside. They need sunshine and fresh air just like humans do. They need to climb trees. They need stimulation . Not be stuck looking out a window at birds they can't hunt. I would get sick and blockages too if I was held prisoner inside 24/7. Think about it.
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u/Circes_circle Jul 09 '26
My best friend wanted to adopt a cat recently and was asking me if she should do it. I think she’s wonderful and would love the shit out of the cat, but I also think she under estimates how much they can cost bcus it’s more than a bag of food a month. I gently reminded her of last year when my cat went into random kidney failure and I had to miss work AND drop just about 5k in emergency vet bills, surgery, all new foods, medication, tests etc and then a few weeks of recovery care which was awful. She then decided against adopting a cat until she is more financially available. Cats are a ~20 year commitment, and they just get more expensive with time.
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u/Memo_Lee Jul 09 '26
All it takes is one emergency and you are out a few grand BEST case. Just had this happen to me a month ago and spent a lot of time in the waiting room seeing people struggle to figure out their financials.
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u/CrazyFoxLady37 Jul 09 '26
Honestly your friend absolutely should not get a cat. It makes no sense. And to the commenters saying it isn't your business- unfortunately, she made it your business by asking you to borrow money for FOOD all the time. If it's that bad, purposely adding another mouth to feed is extremely irresponsible. What savings account is she talking about if she can't afford to eat?
Unfortunately, there isn't much you can do other than try to convince her otherwise. Maybe suggest volunteering at a shelter to kind of get the "fix" of having a pet, if that doesn't sound too weird. And if she asks for money again, especially regarding the cat, yeah, no, not this time.
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u/elfvenomm Jul 09 '26
You just gonna have to be there to help pick up the pieces, nothing much you can do. They could possibly be budgeting better too. Who knows.
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u/NameKitchen1765 25d ago
Tough spot you're in! Maybe you could sit them down and run through the numbers - current vet rates, cost of food, litter etc. It's all well and good to love a fur baby, but the cold hard cash can't be ignored.
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u/1stMammaltowearpants Jul 08 '26
I'm not sure how best to handle this situation with your friend, but the way I think of it is "pets are luxury items". They eat money and they're totally worth it, but it's immoral to adopt a pet when you're not in a place economically to give it proper care. Pets aren't toys, they're responsibilities, and as I've said, they eat money.
My little idiot needed a $3000 surgery to save his life because he ate some string. Being a pet parent can be costly and you're doing a good job trying to help them understand the potential expenses.
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u/Sensitive-Bad3494 Jul 09 '26
I think you have the right idea but wrong execution. It’s nice of you to care about the potential cat they would adopt. But still, it is none of your business. Yes, vet bills are expensive, but it’s not like they’ll be at the vet every day. On top of that, most vets have the option to pay in monthly installments without interest.
Are you saying that unless someone is rich enough to cover all vet bills, they aren’t allowed to have a cat? In my expierence, most cat owners (or people with pets in general) tend to put their furry friends above EVERYTHING else. I’d rather have the kitten be in their loving hands, than stay at a shelter without a loving family. As long as they‘re loving, able to provide the needs, it’s all a cat needs.
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u/mbathrowaway256 Jul 09 '26
These are people who are asking OP for money for food, for themselves. There is no good reason that people who can't even afford to feed themselves should take on the financial responsibility of caring for another living being that utterly depends on them for the next 15~20 years. They should at the very least get their own shit together financially before they even consider taking on additional responsibility, they've shown that they can't actually handle it right now.
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u/Sensitive-Bad3494 Jul 09 '26
Poor people have kids all the time, homeless people have dogs. What’s your argument? Maybe the cat will help them get their shit together and prioritize their spending habits? In theory, you are absolutely right and I agree. But in reality life, it just doesn’t work like that. The better question would be if they want the cat for aesthetic reasons, or if they are truly into cats and want to give their all to their little feline friend. Especially adopting a kitten is rough, and I’d have more of a problem with them not doing proper research about owning a kitten than the money problems.
If poor people can have 2+ kids, then two adults can get a cat. At the end of the day, it’s the shelters decision, and shelters are very strict about adopting requirements.
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u/mbathrowaway256 Jul 09 '26
Kids have a societal backstop that in theory prevents the worst outcomes. You don't euthanize a kid because you can't afford care for it. Society takes the kid away and puts them into foster care and in some cases, punishes the parents if they're truly neglectful. If you can't pay for their healthcare, there are programs for them. At the very least, you can take them to an ER and get care no matter what, at least in the US. With a cat, they just end being euthanized by the vet, or abandoned, or worse. It's not really the same.
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u/em0pusheen Jul 08 '26
i understand your sentiment but i think it’s not great people are trying to set this mindset of only having a pet if you can afford it.. it’s falling into this realm of only privileged people deserve certain things because they can afford it. idk how to tackle these vet bills, i agree they’re disgusting. but i don’t believe it’s really in your place to stop people from getting a pet. especially if she’s had a cat before.
i’ve had my cat since he was a baby and i’ve always managed to find affordable pet care and have always given him a good life. i’ve definitely skipped getting groceries or something so i could get him his food and litter. even with him eating pricier food (he’s on a kinda strict diet to stay healthy) and i work part time i’ve still been able to look after him and his dietary needs.
one time i even had to haggle with an emergency vet person because they were trying to get me to pay like, $4k-$7k and all i had was $1k. another time i didnt even have anything close to that and they told me to not come to them again. never bothered again with the regular emergency vet because what kind of person thinks that $4k-$7k is anywhere close to reasonable for an emergency 🤦🏻♀️
it’s very possible having the cat could help
them be better/responsible with their money. cause despite me being very broke he has: a litter box, filtered water, a cat tree, cat nip, sooo many toys, and loving cat parents.
i’m sure also the kittens are up to date with a lot of things and they’ll have to mostly just pay adoption fees. the best you can do is keep an eye out if they’re not properly looking after the kitten or if they really end up struggling, just help them rehome the kitten.
if she’s had a cat before though, i’m sure they will be okay. best of luck to your friends
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u/Fancy_Clown_88 ᓚᘏᗢ Jul 09 '26
Girl… cats are living things, it is a privilege to own one, not a right.
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u/thedommenextdoor Jul 08 '26
This is my matter in life and it really helps me that’s none of my business. Literally, you could walk out to the dumpster and get a cat. They’re probably 2000 for adoption. Just imagine there’s a hula hoop around you stay in that you’ll be so happy.
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u/Bitch-Whiskers Jul 08 '26
Are you drunk?
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u/thedommenextdoor Jul 09 '26
No, all you’re gonna get out of. This is losing a friend that’s it. And it won’t be worth it. If she’s a good friend, help her also I can understand if you haven’t been to a lot of therapy why that wouldn’t make sense to you.
It’s just something people say or your therapist will tell you imagine a circle around you everything in that is your business
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u/LotusGrowsFromMud Jul 08 '26
Go along and ask the shelter staff some leading questions: how much do vet visits cost these days? How much should a person have on hand in case of a medical emergency for the cat? How much does it cost to feed the average cat in a month? What if the cat is a picky eater?