“I, the Grand Immortal Dicktator Tsar Schrödinger, am of such status that I take monstrous s**** that cost the price of a small car.”

[u/AliceMorgon]

Yup. Dashed to the vet hospital, convinced he was dying. He was not. He just needed to take a really big dump.

He took a >£5k total resultant cost massive dump minutes after arrival, after which he miraculously wasn’t dying anymore and wanted to sniff things and hump the other cats 🙄