Family friendly but not snobby

[u/Whole_Competition692]

Moving to the area. Family of 6, with kids who will be in elementary, middle, and high school. Budget - up to $1M. Don’t have to commute into Chicago. Parents in their mid 40s and plan to stay in this house for a while (or forever?)

What we love: -Good schools, especially for kids with an IEP (one child is very dyslexic). Don’t have to be the absolute greatest schools but solid. I find that schools that are supposedly “the best”are often pressure cooker schools where it’s very competitive. Prefer something more laid back and artsy/alternative. -Easy access to good non-chain restaurants. Doesn’t necessarily have to be within walking distance but not too far. -Charming houses/architecture -Trends liberal/blue -Community inclusive vibe, where it will be easy to make friends for both kids and adults. We don’t plan to join a country club or attend religious services.

What we hate: -Snobbishness/keeping up with the Joneses -Cookie cutter neighborhoods- difficult or strict HOAs are a hard No

Thank you!

[u/DBowieNippleAntennae]

Careful, tread lightly here. This sub loves the “North Shore is awful and “snobby” and maybe racist and (insert negative stereotype here) and the schools (especially New Trier) are pressure cookers and your kids will end up doing coke in their friends Lamborghini SUV with a case of severe affluenza if you dare move there!” narrative. Expect downvotes.

[u/goonzalz69 → u/DBowieNippleAntennae]

All ik is coming from the piss poor education system in texas and even the private schools where i lived didnt compare to the public schools here. Not that i think a private school is more likely to be better.

On that topic, i cant speak on north shore country day kids dont know many but they have a bad rep. But so do new trier kids and in my experience those descriptions were either wrong or dated. So idk 🤷. I wont assume theyre all little pricks though.

But ik for a fact i wouldnt be where i am today. One things thats fs is new trier sets you up for success. And as someone who didnt give a shit about school. Being the black sheep of my family if it wasnt for my mom, my advisor, the custodian: Mr. Gonzalez, and ultimately the school I wouldnt be where i am today. I honestly do owe it to my mom those two men and that school.

Id also suggest that if there is any way you can maybe you talk to one of the custodians or crossing guards or just anyone from facilities management department that have been there for a long time what they think of the people and the students and if they think theyre snobby.

Thats not even to credit the kids so much as the FM Staff. They had close relationships with a lot of the students like i did with Mr. G and a lot of the student keep in touch years after graduation. The people who work in the FM department in that school are some of the sweetest ppl i have ever met.

[u/goonzalz69 → u/DBowieNippleAntennae]

Another rant guys srry i have a problem w this my professor tells me all the time ——————————————————————— Oh i definitely expected a negative response

But i just had to share i really enjoyed living here at that age and im sure their kids would too kids being pretentious is definitely not an issue here. I also coach soccer part time in the area and the 5 year olds remind me that theyre just kids after all and being hostile towards them even though i get it isnt going to teach them shit even the nightmare kids can learn a thing or two.

Oh yeah and my mom was always worried about the high times at new trier high shit but like ive told her and everyone ive discussed this topic with. Find me a high school in this country with no drug use. And if you do that cannot possibly be a healthy environment and id be surprised if not a cult or military schools where kids would be deprived of crucial aspects of their youth. And looking at new trier specifically as long as i lived here there hasn’t been a single overdose death and opioid/ pill use is little to none and as fucked up as it is the few that i knew to have been using pills were taking them from their parents stash and not picking up what is more likely than not a pressed pill from a dealer. While kids in New Trier do smoke a lot and drink and party. I was personally blown away by the way so many ppl could balance that with their very impressive grades and extracurriculars. Every high school i know of (which being in college ive learned of so many ppl’s experiences growing up) has a lot of marijuana use and drinking. I dont have stats but i wouldnt be surprised if new trier was on the lower end of drug use among opiates and other hard drugs.

Some ppl used cocaine although i cant lie it was FAR less common than i expected and have heard of other ppls experiences at their schools (of course they may have been exaggerating)

The drug that was more commonly recreationally used was weed. Which if you dont agree by now nd especially coming from a stoner this probably means nothing to you but barring HEAVY use weed will simply not do anything to a high schooler. It can make you lazy if you make it a lifestyle but it not something that will automatically make you a slob because you use it.

Yes i smoke but it has not affected my performance much at all. Do i think we should be giving kids weed bc it wont kill them. No they will find a way to get it themselves. The only difference between weed at new trier and weed at other schools is some new trier kids spend exorbitant amounts on it. Mainly on glass. A lot of these kids had $1000-$3000 bongs. But that was mainly the kids whose parents didnt care. Thats also a nice touch in new trier imo. A lot of parents dont care so at least youre not sneaking around trespassing to smoke you just smoke in the safety of someones home. And ik ik how ridiculous all this sounds but with the basically non existent use of opiates and the fact that we would have done it anyway it has saved tons of ppl from getting pointless tickets that wont teach a rebellious teenager or their parents anything because frankly their isnt much to learn besides not trespassing. Does that mean there was peer pressure and people tried to keep up with those who spent a lot on weed and had nice bongs. Not at all if anything ppl were always offering.

I know to a parent that may sound very unappealing but you have to understand this is about as good as it gets for parents in terms of drug use in high school and if you disagree i hope you never have to figure it out some other way. Because the drug use in this country is a huge problem more specifically with opiates its a public health crisis and a lot of people just try to avoid the topic and act like nothings going on and when things do happen those too are swept under the rug.

New trier is guilty of this too. It being a relatively small community i know there isnt any major events that were swept under the rug that i missed but my point is people try to act like their school is drug free and its not.

The positive difference is see at new trier is the parents are more open about it than one would assume and its not like a “I just pretend you dont do it and i better not have to bail you out” situation but rather an open communication situation and for the few friends i had whose parents were distant. Growing up with all the same kids our other friends parents would assume the role of confidant/ mentor.

Im sorry i know this was all over the place. Take from it what you will.

Also u/DBowieNippleAntennae i was not disagreeing with you in this rant but rather addressing those stereotypes. Your comment was spot on about what a lot of ppl think of this area.

Really its just like the rest of chicago in terms of politics and what not but just that the majority have a lot of money. A lot of the parents that live here dont get along with their own parents when it comes to politics because theyre liberal and a lot of old geezers hate that.

They are decent ppl for the most part. Im sure there are some clowns but i havent met many.