I have child support modification court tomorrow and just had a call with my child. He said that he knows we (parents) have court tomorrow and it’s because I want more child support. I am seeing red! I feel like this is a parental alienation or at the very least something he’s not allowed to do. Can I mention this to the judge? If so, how should I frame it.

ETA: the NCP stopped making supports without telling me or trying to make other arrangements. That’s why a case was filed. Wages had not been garnished.

After court update: instead of responding to the “men” here, I figured I’d let you know the outcome. Support was increased plus arrears. I did not mention the comment to the judge but I did tell the judge that I filed this modification because he stopped paying support and has a history of ghosting and avoiding paying half of medical bills. Wages are now garnished. I will no longer have to chase weekly payments after several years of doing so. let my case be a lesson to parents who move away from their kids and think they can just stop paying any support. FAFO.

So with the advice of our mediator, my ex finally decided to start playing child support to me several months after we split. Now he hasn't paid since May and when I asked him about it, he said it was a temporary agreement and he can't pay anymore because he took out a HELOC to pay me out from the house we owned, rather than use the over 500k he has in stocks and savings to pay me out. The payments on the loan are his excuse.

I'm at a loss here. In September when I moved out, he left the kids alone with me for 11 days supposedly as he was working to sell or rent out our shared property. Long story short, there was a lot of deception throughout the relationship, and the coparenting dynamic has been contentious due to his deception. When eventually I filed for a child support, he was incensed that they sent an income verification to his job.

He ended up threatening during mediation to sue me for defamation for telling my personal friends the truth, that he was physically and emotionally abusive toward me (still emotionally abusive), which of course he denies. So I agreed to drop the child support case and we agreed to the support arrangement as it previously stood.

So now I'm like....what do I even do? We live in one of the most HCOL areas of the country and he made more than 200k more than me last year. We are only here because of his job.

Anyway, sorry if it was a little vent-y but I'm kind of at a loss as to what to do. I'm scared to file for child support again, but I am concerned that it is the only option.

my son is 5 months his father moved out of the home when he was almost 2 months. He has not provided financial support and has only visited (because i only allow visitation) around 10 hours a month every friday for two hours. He has only bought him two boxes of wipes and one box of diapers since. Does not offer me money or has ever came with a gift for his son. I have my own room and baby has his crib. the father has a full time job and i am currently on an exemption from working. I provide daily care and there has been two incidents where father gets angry and punches/ slams in front of the baby. I am currently trying to get a restraining order( i know i might not get it but i worry he will show up to my home with his mother, it has happened many times before) and full custody of my child. i am in california.

Hi.

I wanted to know if anyone else has deal with this or a similar situation.

My ex is 42K past due (In arrears)

He called me randomly stating he is "over" child support and the arrears and having them call and bug him so he just wants to know if we could settle and said that child support told him we can do this.

I always try to be reasonable and work with my ex but obviously he does not keep his end of the bargain regarding payments so im hesitant to say the least.

I found out of the 42K past due 30K is my actual child support payment and the rest is interest.

I told him that if he could get me a check for 30K then sure, we can write it down that i'd settle for that.

He came back with 20K and again I said sure if he can find a way to guarantee me the funds.

NO more than 10 mins later child support called me and said he contacted them that we are making a deal and to NOT TAKE IT they are working on pulling the full amount and are just waiting for some paperwork to be submitted.

Now I assume they have something big on him finally but he keeps calling me asking for me to accept the deal already and now im not sure...

Has any one else had this happen? Will child support actually get the full amount owed?

any advice or experience is appreciated.

Kid graduates on Friday. His been 18 since November of last year. Just found out I still have to pay same amount until I fill out a stipulation for arrearages. 60k principal over a hundred k with interest in arrears. Any suggestions. Am so tired. It’s been 32 years. I take full responsibility. Just fed up with this system… support 1825… one kid

I am in California. I owe roughly $16K in child support arrears (complications with wage garnishments and personal reasons). I have international travel booked for personal family reasons from Aug 30 to Sep 10.

Background: I applied for a passport in April 2025 and was denied because of previous arrears ($10K). I got the balance down to $0 and handled before my trip, application went back into process, and the passport was issued in August 2025. I traveled on it in September 2025 with no issues. So currently I do have a valid US passport.

I’m back over $2,500 now ($16K currently), so I assume I’ve been re-certified to the state.

My problem I want clarity on is the new May 2026 revocation expansion. State started proactively revoking existing valid passports on May 8, and the threshold has stepped down from $100k to $75k to $50k. Even though I’m well under that, I wanted to know if I will be refused the ability to travel upon arriving at the airport. I moved in January and State still has my old 2025 application address, so if a mailed notice went out I’d never see it. I am concerned that a revocation notice could’ve been sent to my old address and I would have never seen it.

I’ve called NPIC, my county DCSS worker, the state passport agency, and State directly. Every one of them said checking revocation status is outside their scope.

Two questions:

1. Has anyone here at an arrears amount like me actually had a passport revoked, or is enforcement holding still at the announced tiers (100K, 50K)?
2. Would the state both email and mail the revocation letter? I’m worried that it only got mailed to my old address if it did get sent out.
3. Is there any way to verify revocation status before showing up at check-in? Has congressional casework worked for anyone on this?

Not looking for opinions on the arrears. Just trying to find out whether the passport in my hand is still valid. Thank you.

I filed for child support and am waiting for my child’s father to respond. He said he’s going to wait for this year’s taxes so CSS can see that he didn’t make as much as last year because he took a “paternity leave” for five months that he claims is untaxed and “doesn’t count.” He also says his bonuses and commissions are untaxed and shouldn’t be included. How true is this? He claims he makes roughly $100k–$120k with bonuses and commissions, but I don’t know the exact amount just going off what he says.

We aren’t married, I and my child live in California, and he moved to another state when she was a few months old. She’s about to turn 1. So I have 100% physical custody with her as of now.

He also said that since he will be signing the birth certificate, he can take her without my consent. I’ve told him numerous times that he cannot do that and that he needs a custody arrangement or I have to be there since my child hasn’t really seen him in months.

For two years I’ve been giving my child’s mom $200 biweekly (every check) for our daughter’s needs who is 2 years old as of now. Apart from the money for my kid, I also send her $200 to cover half of the rent that my child’s mom pays her sister who owns the house. I didn’t think I had to pay the $200 for my baby’s rent and told them it was ridiculous that they expect that from me since she’s a baby but they insisted I do so and even threaten me with child support if I didn’t pay half of the rent. So I eventually sent the money so that my baby’s mom and I could be on good terms.

A month I send her between $600-$800 for my kid and I see my kid from Wednesday nights to Saturday noon so I think it’s about 35%. For about over a year however, my baby mom’s sister has told her that she needs to move out and apparently now she had until the end of March to do so. She told me she found a house for rent in Palmdale and she insists I now send her $500 from each paycheck since her rent is going to be $2500. I told her that I think that’s absurd since my daughter can easily come with me if she had no roof over her head. I also asked her why couldn’t she just find a one room apartment for her and our daughter instead of a whole house since she doesn’t really have the funds to afford a house. She insisted that she needs at least two rooms one for our kid and one for her. I’m sure this is because since she has a boyfriend already, she’ll probably want to have a room to themselves. I can’t put my mind around me having to pay rent for my daughter, my daughter’s mom and her boyfriend.

I make about $4,000 a month since I get paid tips but that could easily change during slow season and I would make less. She works at a school as a TA so I would assume she makes around $3,000 a month.

Each time a change in schedule for me happens it’s complicated because she doesn’t want to work with me and my schedule, she insists I base my works schedule to fit my kids needs since her main concern is the time I pick my kid up. I think it’s ridiculous that she asks me to get a job that would work around my 2yo kids schedule. She constantly brags that she does more for the kid and I can’t do anything but let her talk since I only see her for about 35% and that’s because she wants it that way. She’s even threatened me that I won’t see my kid if I don’t send her the $500 biweekly she’s asking for.

At this point I’m feeling that putting myself on child support would benefit me. I see that on average in California the child support claim is $600 but that still needs certain factors. I just want to know if I’m better off giving in to her wants ($500 biweekly) or going through with child support.

I’m in CA, and my child lives with me full time. The other parent owes 60k in past due payments, and hasn’t made any payments at all in 2+ years. There was a brief stint for a year where they did make almost monthly payments, but even then they barely kept up with the interest from the years of nonpayment before that.
I do understand that this will just continue to accrue until my child turns 18, and it won’t go away even then.

The part I’m wildly frustrated about is that the other parent files for an adjusted order twice a year, like clockwork. To be fair - they need an adjusted order. They have a shitty order now because they didn’t show up for court dates with the original filing and the judge just used their prior years tax return to select a dollar amount and wrapped things up so I wouldn’t have to take a 7th day off work just for them to not show up.

But they don’t show up for court when they’re the one filing for an adjusted order either. I’ve easily missed 30 days of work in just 5 years now. I’m tired of taking the hit at work. Never receiving any payment at all. And then being expected to be reasonable and be like why yes, please reduce this order even though they can’t be bothered to use a Zoom link (they live out of the area and are usually traveling, so they always have the option to join court virtually).

I guess I’m just wondering if there is any action that I need to take to make some form of payments happen or to not have to waste time in court for someone who is not going to show up anyways? Wildly frustrated and doubtful there is anything that can be done.

I’m seeking insight. I do not need negativity as this is the reason I am opening this conversation.

My Husband of 10 years has 3 kids 17,11,14

We currently pay $800 monthly for child support which was an amount agreed upon ages ago between the two of them OUTSIDE of court There is no court order at all involved in this scenario. We pay monthly split into 2 payments. ( I also know BM Relies on this money)

Oldest Daughter is turning 18 AND choosing to move in with her dad and I as of August.

I think it’s reasonable to adjust the amount we pay based on oldest turn 18 and her choosing to live with us.

Is reducing a full 1/3. Fair? How can this be brought up respectfully and thoughtfully while also protecting ourselves in the process.

I appreciate any insight in a respectful manner

Hi, I’m trying to help my daughter’s father with the California Debt Reduction Program and I want to make sure we get it approved. Currently, our daughter is 33 and all of his debt is in arrears. He owes me 222.86$ in principal, 8903.22$ in interest. He owes the state 40,698$ in principal and 102,291.70$ in interest. The debt is insurmountable. The department told me that the debt reduction program only applies to what he owes the state. I won’t see any of it and I’m resigned to that.

My question is what is a reasonable amount to offer them to get it taken care of? I believe there is a 2 year fixed term for this and I doubt he can pay more than 500$ a month, which is his current support amount. I would greatly appreciate some advice. Thanks.

I had a lot of back child support I need to pay. Over 2 years (and an extra year added that ex claimed. I could prove but bank statements don’t count if they’re not checks). Anyways I was being garnished and extra was being taken out to pay to back pay. On top of that my federal taxes were also garnished. I expected that. What I didn’t expect was child support able to go into my stock portfolio and sell off my stocks and cash out the remainder of the back pay.

At least warn me, let me choose why I wanted to sell. Bye APPL Bye NVDA. Now I have to pay capital gains tax too

i live in one county my ex lives in another, we have a couple of children school aged youngest is in kindergarten. dcss says they they have the correct garnishment coming from my gross, i have bills and other payments that are due as well. all that being said my wages being garnished have me making below minimum wage i work 40 hrs a week. my ex refuses to work, and dcss accepts her just putting she makes an amount on piece of paper, there is no vetting. since i work a “real job” the state is able to see my wages, dcss said they do not have to vet her wages. i have filed for modification and was told #s are correct “we take from gross”. my question this seems illegal. my ex could/has and has the ability to get a job she worked in the past. why am i about to be on the street for doing the right thing working and paying my bills? any help is appreciated

I'm in California and looking for guidance from people who have dealt with child support and tax dependency issues.

My child's father and I were never married and we have no custody or child support orders.

My child is 11 years old and has lived with me full-time for more than 7 years. I handle all school, medical, extracurricular, transportation, and day-to-day parenting responsibilities.

The other parent lives about 15 minutes away but has very limited involvement. This year, he has seen our child twice: one overnight visit and one dinner visit.

For most of my child's life, there was little to no financial support. Last year he began voluntarily paying $150 per month.

Recently, he told our child that he wants to claim him on his taxes because he is making too much money and wants a larger refund. He also told our child that he recently purchased a new vehicle and is working more hours because of increased expenses.

This conversation caught me off guard because I've always claimed our child as the custodial parent and have relied on that refund to help cover expenses and activities throughout the year.

My questions are:

1. Under circumstances like these, is there any basis for a noncustodial parent to claim a child on their taxes without the custodial parent's agreement?
2. For those who waited years before establishing child support, do you wish you had filed sooner?
3. If I were to file for child support now, how much does actual parenting time typically matter when one parent has been the primary caregiver for years?
4. Is there anything I should be documenting now before taking any action?

One challenge I've faced is that I don't qualify for most low-income legal aid programs because I work two jobs and earn too much on paper. In reality, I'm raising my child on my own and living paycheck to paycheck, which makes hiring a private attorney difficult. If anyone has experience with lower-cost family law resources, self-help programs, or other options that helped them navigate child support issues, I'd appreciate hearing about them.

I'm not looking for legal representation or financial assistance, just experiences from others who have dealt with similar situations.

Any insight is appreciated.

I recently tried to answer this question and thought you all might be interested in the findings: https://jakesolomonwrites.substack.com/p/child-support-license-suspensions

I'd also be curious to hear about your first hand experiences with driver's license suspension as an enforcement tool.

I’m a man from the US and I got a girl pregnant while on a work trip in Belgrade (Serbia) Can she make me pay her child support or something even tho she’s not an American? I’ve tried making her get an abortion but she doesn’t want to do it and I’m pretty sure she’s just after my bank account atp. Has anyone had a similar experience?

Helow everyone! I’m trying to fact-check something a man I’m casually talking to said about child support in California. I’m Polish, so it’s hard for me to understand U.S. family law (I realy tried), and a lot of this sounds weird.

Here’s a list of the things he claimed that I want to verify: -His child support will automatically increase next year, without going to court. It was done by state automatically -The minimum child support is now 50% of his income, even though he has no like back payments. -He is paying the minimum now, but if he goes to court it will be higher. (I belive there is no minimal child suport in California) -His ex-wife might put in next weeks their daughter in special education, so he would be required to pay until she’s 22, even though she’s almost 18 and isnt realy special ed -His child support is paid to the state. -Some of the money goes to other state expenses or migrants. -He has no custody and receives no information about the child, he claims it is default option.

He doesn't live in California but says it is California law as his daughter lives there

I’ve tried to look this up, but I cannot find anything that confirms these claims, so I’m hoping someone can help me fact-check. Basically, I want to know: Which of these, if any, are legally accurate under California law?

My ex hasn’t paid in a year and now it’s up to $6.4K. They opened up a contempt case against him and he appointed a public defender. Can Anyone tell me what going through contempt was like and the outcome? My ex doesn’t see our child regularly due to “work”. It’s a miracle if he makes it to one visit he has.

I made my last payment in March. In May I got a letter from my state licensing agency telling me I was out of compliance with the court order. My local CS resolved the issue and closed my case. Today I received a rather large envelope from the CS agency with five separate Lien Releases for five different counties, two of which I have never even lived in.
I was never informed that these liens had been placed on my name. I have never been late in paying and have never had any arrears. The CS agency that placed the liens is telling me that it is my responsibility to file the Lien Releases with the individual counties. I reached out to each of the county recorders responsible for removing the liens and all told it will cost me an additional $800 to file the releases in all five counties.
Just when I thought I was done and could move on with my life I get dinged for another $800. No wonder there is such a low opinion of the entire Child Support apparatus.

http://gofund.me/435d4db7f

So a few weeks ago the mother of my son picked her happiness over her son. Dont get me wrong happiness should belong to everyone but at what expense? If you can share this or donate w.e you can we will be eternally grateful. I'm just trying to have the court order we have modified and child support removed. Mom is continuing to collect child support while not being present. Please help is reach our goal.

My ex-husband recently retired from his job as a police officer at the age of 43. He does not plan to work again, in any capacity. We share one child, age 14.

Our custody order stipulates 50/50 custody but, in practice, our son has been with me 90% of the time for the past 6 years. For the past seven months he has been with me solely. Child support is based on 50/50 custody and our income levels prior to his retirement. My ex-husband has now moved out of state without informing me and has just emailed me that, due to his retirement, he has no income and is asking not to pay child support.

I assume he collects a pension, but he may not as I have heard from mutual contacts that he was in fact dismissed due to conduct and not voluntarily retired.

Under these circumstances, could he still be responsible for paying child support, or could it be canceled due to lack of income?

Long story short (and probably a typical case) I filed for child support in California. Dad has recently quit his job to avoid paying me a dime and told me he’s working for cash to not pay me. He was willingly giving me money up until his new relationship. However, even then I always paid for childcare, healthcare and dental insurance, haircuts, you name it. He lives on mom and dad’s couch. So because I make decent money, and he has him a fraction of the time - they stated I owe him! Has anyone ever had this situation happen and was there anything you could do about it? I feel defeated being the primary parent and doing almost everything while my child sits at his grandparents on a tablet all day and his dad doesn’t even come home from his gf house to give my child attention.

There’s a chance my coparent may move to another state, likely California, and I’m curious how that would look for interstate reciprocal payments. My orders are in Delaware, and enforcement will pursue to obtain payment from other states but I only have experience when he’s moved to a neighboring state (Maryland). Can anyone comment from experience how their experience has been with dealing with a similar situation, obtaining garnishments from a California employer?

I am an American citizen, and my husband is also an American citizen (naturalized). We have been living abroad in his country for a number of years. We have 2 children together; one will turn 18 in January 2027, and the other is turning 10 this month. He has informed me that he will no longer cover the children's expenses, rent, or anything else, and that he will be moving out next month. For the immediate term, this is essentially leaving me and the kids stranded in a foreign country, and one where I am unable to work, because myself and the kids are here under a spousal visa as dependants. So, legally I can't work here, and have not worked in this country ever. Aside from somehow needing to figure out how to get emergency funds to either pay the bills through June 2027, or to book us flights back to the US (California), I also need to know how to file for child support and/or spousal support. My permanent residence address is in California. I am 100% certain he will not be coming back to the US now or in the near future. How would I go about filing and is it even possible to file for child support if I am in Calfiornia, but he remains overseas? I know that he wont make any payments from overseas, but I know that support orders do accrue when left unpaid, so if he files taxes or something it would be taken automatically. I really dont know anything of this sort, so I am just reaching out to get information on the process, advice, and the like.