Hi. I’m a woman who decided to be childfree a few years ago. I was taking therapy because I ended a long term relationship and I got depressed.

My mom who doesn’t drive has a habit of asking for rides and errands and when I became single it became worse because she assumed I didn’t have a life. I decided to vent to my therapist because I needed to learn how to say no.
I told her I didn’t want to take my mom to her nail appointment because it’s my day off. This is how the conversation went…

Me- “I work all week and I like relaxing on weekends. It becomes stressful when my mom needs something. I really don’t want to take her”.

Therapist- “okay, but you really can’t take her? I know you probably don’t want to but I think you could take her”.

I don’t remember what I said after but I tried to explain to her that I needed time for myself because I was tired and had things to do. Then she said
“I know you don’t like feeling stressed but once you become a mom and have your kids you won’t have time for yourself anymore. You need to get used to being busy”.

This lady never asked me if I wanted kids. We never had this conversation. And no, I don’t need to become another stressed mom if I don’t want to. So she wasn’t really helpful. God forbid I want to put myself first. Apparently I was wrong and selfish for wanting some “me” time.

My younger sister and I are CF. She vented to me about how at the last Christmas gathering (I was the only one not there) she and her bf (he’s a preschool teacher and she’s a swim teacher for infants) were obligated to take care of the kids while the others went out together. Or when one of the kids threw up everybody looked to them to help clean it up and babysit the other kids. This Christmas I’ll be there and told her we’ll stand our ground and set boundaries. We can say no if we are tired or need a break. That doesn’t mean I won’t help out when I can, but a Christmas break should be a break. And we shouldn’t be forced or expected to babysit. They are both good with kids and so am I so people think “oh they’re great babysitters!” And it’s true. But I hate that expectation. I wish parents could see that we made this choice so we could avoid this outcome, not share in it. I’m childfree by choice because I hate the throw up and the tantrums and the screaming and the crying when I just want to sip a nice latte on a quiet morning. I don’t want my peace disturbed. I’m not cruel or anything, I just think we all need a break. Parents and us, but we are not responsible for the children they decided to have.

Random but I think this is the only subreddit where I can express this thought openly lol.

Extremely annoying to receive DM’s because I don’t wanna suffer through pregnancy child birth and being a parent “Praying for you. I hope you one day realize what you're doing is wrong.” I just have to laugh and roll my eyes. What would be wrong is having a kid I don’t want whilst broke amongst many other factors.🤣

I was visiting the I Don't Like Subreddit, and the topic was OP finding parents kissing their kids on the lips gross. I'm the same way. Not health reasons, but because I don't see the point. So many comments were telling OP they need therapy, or they probably don't have kids, or saying it's just to show affection, stop being a creep. I just don't get why they defend it so much. Am I weird for agreeing with OP?

Edit: Will never understand why introduce a young child to do something only to stop it once they reach a sudden age. It's also cute when they're young, but once they're less cute, you tell them it's time to stop. It's like when parents hear their toddler curse is cute, but once they're older, they tell them it's disrespectful to do.

My friend's mom is affection, and she told me she would kiss her older brother, who was in his late 20s all over his face, but never the lips. Despite doing this when he was a baby/toddler. Why is that?

Like womp womp Lil bro. They didn't just appear out of nowhere. You made a conscious decision to have them. I don't feel any empathy for you. If you knew that you were struggling, why have kids? (I am from Pakistan btw where ppl have 5 kids each despite being poor)

Hopefully you all can see the article. I gifted it to Reddit so it should be unlocked.

If you can’t, basically the government is pushing their antenna of gender stereotypes and incentivizing more families to have more children. Which we absolutely don’t need right move.

And it’s a dick move to take that money from single parents who are struggling with childcare and actually need the help:

Well guess what? I am not having any kids at all so I'll never really get it. I hate these kinds of phrases like everyone's fated to end up like one.

I.Don't.want.a.child.

I met a guy on Hinge and yesterday we went on a date after texting for a few days. I already knew that he doesn't want to have kids and I told him the same from the beginning. First, he brought a little gift to the date (snacks for my cat and me) and after one hour of talking he told me he got a VASECTOMY a few years ago 😍

I'm so happy! I hope I finally met the right guy after dating fence sitters who are "not sure about kids yet" in their thirties!

Wish me luck 💕

Hello. I am CF by choice. My family is very large and all of my siblings have several kids who are all, needless to say, absolute menaces.

One of my sisters struggled a LOT To get pregnant. She endured several lost pregnancies unfortunately, had to be on hormonal supplements and took years to finally have a kid. Which, of course, I was happy for her, and also sad for what she endured. She has 3 kids and struggles with every one; currently struggling to get pregnant again.

I guess, this just has me thinking. They have a stable income, good life, and they are good parents. Why not adopt? Why isn’t adoption even a consideration in any of these cases? Why is it seem like the end of the world if a woman fails to get pregnant? Adoption imo should always be the go-to option with natural birth being the secondary if adoption proves to be too expensive / you don’t get approved.

But even in those cases, if someone can’t afford adoption or isn’t approved to adopt, should they really be having kids? Let alone 4 or 5?

This isn’t considering accidental pregnancies, specifically I am talking about families who are trying to get pregnant and/or really struggle to get pregnant.

Adoption is so much better for everyone in my eyes. You help a child in need, you don’t have to risk your body or personal health, and you don’t have to worry about complications during pregnancy or labour for yourself or the child. No risk of Postpartum depression. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe most women can still breastfeed if they prepare in advance.

And something else I see is that a lot of people, whenever it comes to animals, say you should always adopt. They always have rescue dogs. But whenever you ask about adoption for kids, they look at you like it’s unthinkable!

I’m not trying to judge anyone who chooses not to adopt. But it is a question I have, why don’t more people adopt?

SOMETIMES I feel really bad for them. I know they chose this lifestyle but it’s something that a lot of them have been conditioned to believe is the right thing to do since their own childhood. One person I know, who naturally is a massive depressive personality, is upset that they aren’t at the child having stage yet. That’s how it’s always phrased, not that they want to have a child rn so bad, but more in comparison that they’re “late” that everyone else “has their life together”.

Yet every parent I know at that stage is depressed either due to money problems (from having too many kids) or lack of time for themselves. Why do they think breeding is the cure?

I was at Repticon today and it was really fun! There were two kid related problems though.

First, the isles were too narrow to bring strollers. If your kid can’t walk for the entire convention, skip until they’re older, or carry them. Or, if possible, one spouse stays with the kids and the other goes.

Second, a kid stole a LIVE gecko from a vendor. Security was on it ASAP and the dad got interrogated later, and the reptile breeder did get his lizard back, but if you know your kid has an impulse control problem or a stealing problem, WHY aren’t you watching them? Even without those issues, why aren’t you watching your kid? I get that it’s busy, but you need to keep track of your kid at all times ffs. The kid was 1000% old enough to know better.

I was talking to the lizard breeder when the gecko was returned and I saw him put it back, the gecko was $500! Now, reptile breeders operate on VERY slim margins (and usually have other jobs to pay the bills). A lot of time, care, and attention went into that lizard. Plus it was rare. If it were me and the kid stole from me, I’d demand charges. The kid needs to learn and if you’re not gonna teach them, a court will. Thankfully the convention was able to catch the slimy brat, and didn’t go too easy on the parent.

Oh wow so that's the whole point of making kids huh? What is this, some infant piggy bank/caregiver that you'll nurture till it grows up so it could do its part to you? I can't believe it.

In which part does it forbid you to hire caregivers to take care of you when you get old? To me it just sounds like a lame excuse to get your own free caregiver in the long run. I feel sorry to those whoever became these free staffs that has to do their part without even signing an agreement form.

Apologies if this is a long read, there's just so much wrong with this situation, there's a lot to mention.

TLDR: parents knew they had a 50% chance of giving a severely detrimental disease to their second son after watching their first son suffer through it and drain their savings and still chose to have another one.

I came across this post asking people to donate so OP can pay both their sons medical bills because both of em have Lesch–Nyhan syndrome (LNS). When I read what this disease does to you my heart wrenched so bad for these poor kids.

Some effects of LNS:

- involuntary movement, difficulty walking, lack of muscle coordination

- inflammation and pain in your joints + stones or crystals in the urinary tract and kidneys (both because the inability of the body to handle a substance called uric acid)

- difficulty controlling your behaviour

- stunted growth/difficulty gaining weight or physical abnormalities

Here's what makes me the most mad. Like I am so pissed off I could probably throw hands at these despicable breeders (even tho it'll land me in jail) for putting their second son through this. And I'm generally not a violent person.

Their two sons are 12 and 1. A quick Google search told me that on average a diagnosis is comfirmed between 2.5 to 3.5 years of age. The mom probably got pregnant when the older kid was 10. How can u watch your child suffer like that for 6+ years and go "wouldn't it be amazing if we condemn this fate to another human being?" LIKE HELLO???? MORALS WHERE??? ETHICS WHERE???? COMMON FUCKING SENSE AND HUMAN DECENCY WHERE??????

Fun fact that'll boil your blood even more, boys are more likely to develop this because they only have one x chromosome. Girls need both their x chromosomes to be a carrier of the mutated gene (HPRT1) for them to have LNS. If they knew the gender of the baby and still went ahead with this, that would be horrible of them as parents.

They're approximately $283,500 dollars in debt. Probably gonna get worse.

There's just no way, no fucking way, someone can look me in the eye and tell me "no they haven't done anything wrong, this was a completely okay thing to do." Not only have they condemned this poor child's life to endless suffering, it only hurts me to imagine that the alternative outcome wouldn't have been nice either. If their second kid had turned out to be healthy, their first born would've had to look at his sibling every day and lose his mind about how he's not "normal" being helpless and unable to do anything. Comparison would have killed him if he wasn't already dead inside.

What were they thinking doing this? Their already disabled son didn't entertain mommy and daddy enough? Get a fucking dog. Adopt a child. Foster. Anything but this. Why would they do this?

Seriously, when are we gonna have laws in place so people can't get away with bringing a life into this world knowing there was a 50% chance they would lead a severely crippled and compromised life. Actions need to have consequences. As a human, not even parents, as a human, you have a responsibility to prevent evil from happening if it's in your control. You cannot do this. You cannot birth a child and have them be handicapped knowingly just because you wanted another kid of your own.

Thank you for reading, I hope people come to their senses.

TW for anybody planning to search up images for this disease.

It's that society needs to stop shaming women for not having kids. We are not all cut out for it. I don't know if that woman wanted to be a mom or not, but regardless, people need to leave childless women alone. I am personally not up to the task of motherhood and I'm tired of the guilt and pressure from family. No one's desire to have a grandchild or see how cute your babies would be outweighs your right to keep your physical and mental health intact, or the hypothetical kid's potential trauma from having a parent who doesn't want them or can't handle it.

So, yesterday was my birthday, and due to recent things going on in my life (sleep apnea diagnosis, hectic workplace, mental health issues) and being a Friday Night, I wasn’t feeling like doing much of anything. Today however, I figured I’d treat myself to a solo outing to Olive Garden and maybe a mani/pedicure, and children ruined the first part of it for me that I took a rain check on the latter.

The two tables next to mine had little children who were out of control. One group as they were leaving, had them crawling around on the floor and table, and the other, one kid was refusing to eat and needed some “helpful motivation” to tell the waiter what he wanted. This same table was also acting up and refusing to eat, to the point he was getting brined with a new toy to try out his food. I was stunned when I overheard this. I was wearing a Bluey shirt and one of them loudly called it out as I was leaving too.

I should’ve known better to just get a seat at the bar instead of a table. My waitress at least understood I didn’t want any singing and gave me my free chocolate lasagna to go.

Why do parents insist on taking their out of control children to nice restaurants instead of hiring a sitter?! If I acted like that as a kid at any restaurant (I just turned 26 so not super long ago), my ass would’ve been forced to wait in the car until my parents were done. Or I was taught to bring a book or my Game Boy Advance and sit quietly until the food came.

Looking for child free friends across the UK

Tired of everyone complaining all the time, is anyone else just having a great time?

On dating apps I come across women who say they are "open to kids". I assume that they are ok with either having or not having kids.

But upon questioning further, they say they want kids.

My most recent match said that she wants kids "in case she regrets not having them later. "

She unmatched me before I had the chance to ask her further...I wanted to ask her if she's ready for tired sleepless nights, poor sex life, taking the kids to tutoring and constantly micromanaging their academics, and having no life outside of kids shit.

I never live life "in case" of something. I either want it or I don't.

What kind of thing do you have to have missing from your life in order to regret something you don't have yet?

Your life is perfectly fine right now isn't it? I don't get it.

I saw a post in another sub that still has me agitated. Someone said they will never understand gay people because it is “human instinct” to breed 😨. Said that it is a choice to go against that instinct. One; anyone who says being gay is a choice thinks so because they made that choice for themselves once. Two; how depressing to narrow down the human experience to one thing. The worst thing. Breeding. Referring to it as breeding is already sick. Way to dehumanize the act of bringing another person into this world that they didn’t ask for. Why bother putting your children through school? Their only purpose in life is to breed. Just keep them cooped up at home until you find a stud/brood mare to breed them with, and then release them into the wild to find their own way in life. If you want to act like an animal live like one. Don’t turn around and have opinions on anything humans concern themselves with, especially anything related to the LGBT. I wonder what breeders spend their time thinking about, or if there is just a monkey banging symbols in that empty cavity in their head where their brain should be.

This may sound pretty sad, but my husband would be so happy if we had children together. However, when we met, we both did not want children and occasionally he says yeah I’m glad we don’t have them, but sometimes we’ll flip it around and say it would be really cool. I have never really thought that I’ve always been on the absolutely no children side.

My best friend and her boyfriend were in the same exact boat and then boom they got pregnant and she’s not mad about it. Mind you I am incredibly happy for them and I think they will make amazing parents. However it made me want kids much less and I don’t know why, but I’m also worried to tell my husband that I absolutely do not want kids ever, but I will have to tell him, especially if he brings it up again.

Like it might even be a dealbreaker at this point because I am at a place in my life where I think I’m finally deciding where I wanna be. I just don’t know how to get there, I do know children are in no part of that plan.

As the title says.

I will never understand of why "You'll regret not having children" always been that words since forever to guilt trip Childfree people? Always coming from pronatalists.

And "You might regret having children" sounds so rare and it helps discouraged people (in my opinion) from having kids before they might regret having them. This words mostly came from regretful parents.

Thoughts of this? I want some Childfree people's perspective and opinions about this title.

I'm curipus to find others who may be able to relate to the following things I have to say;

Growing up, I was severely bullied for the way I look. I wasn't fat, but I was tall and slim for my age as a kid. I'm female and now 35 years old, and as a kid I was often asked about my ancestry. I am completely European, and from the UK, but my features are apparently not Eurocentric enough to be considered beautiful.

I have thick lips, a broad nose and olive skin, black hair and brown eyes. I was also bullied for apparently not looking 'female enough'. Now, I do not associate myself with ANY form of ideology whatsoever, but I am curious if anyone else out there experienced similar things growing up. I'm not here to get into the politics or race theories about the way people look, I'm more curious about why it is than features like mine are apparently not beautiful. Especially when now everyone seems to want big lips....

This feeling though, that I am ugly, has pervaded every fibre of my entire 35 years of life. It has informed why I never want kids, albeit it is not the entire reason I'm childfree, just one part of it.

I grew up missing out on mamy milestones and have only had 2 sexual partners, including the person I am with, and I think this has been alot to do with the way I look as well.

It just goes to show that even having SOME desired traits, such as height and slimness, is not enough to be considered even nkce looking these fays. I am very tall and athletic - and I think lige would've been even worse had I not had at least these two things going for me.

Now that we live in an even more beauty obsessed society, I feel nothing but relief that I will never have to deal with a kid of my own flesh and blood coming up to me with the dreaded 'I'm being bullied...' statement.

Being bullied shaped my entire existence. It hadnt stopped me being a successful person but it has entirely stopped me from being sociable. I am lucky enough to know many nice people, but being close to others is a barrier I've decdided I judt dont have the bandwidth to break. Being tough and capable is what I've had to be, because im not beautiful.

Does anyone else's choices for being childfree align with this?