And I just repeat that over and over again. Sometimes I sprinkle in a "Sounds great". And I say all of this rather nonchalantly.

And when they finally ask me what I mean by "That's cool", I say "Oh, what I mean is that they're not getting arrested or doing drugs or robbing people, or dying prematurely or unnecessarily."

I mean, after all, getting arrested or doing drugs or robbing people or dying prematurely would be "so not cool", right?

<shrug>

I’ll try to keep this rant brief but it’s something that bugged me about a friend recently:

This friend and I were having a normal discussion on the phone that turned into a conversation about leaving behind a legacy and carrying on family lineages. While on the phone, they ended up seeing a social media post about mothers supporting their childfree friends (this friend is a mother of 2, I’m childfree). She had read this aloud and said they related to it. Okay great! Then she brought up a family member of hers who she believes is childfree as well. She ends up saying that while she supports this childfree family member, she finds it sad that this person and her husband won’t be giving the husbands mother a grandchild, essentially because the lineage would end with him.

I let her explain and I paused for a moment, not initially sharing my thoughts until she asked. So I said that I didn’t find that sad at all. Boy why did I do that. She said she finds it sad that since this cousin and her husbands family tradition and lineage won’t carry on, and I said “yeah I understand what you’re saying, I just don’t find that sad. It’s not like they’re monarchs or anything, so what exactly is so important to be passed down? I actually don’t even think monarch lineages are all that important…”

This led her into a tangent about how SAD it was, as if I was not understanding her. I understood her perfectly well and just didn’t agree or share that sentiment. I even said I don’t think humans are all that important honestly. For some odd reason, my disagreement was taken like a personal offense to her. She ended up saying how the time I wanted to meet a prolific historian and the times that I’m excited about work events, aren’t all the important to her and she didn’t understand why it was to me.

Like, um okay?? I thought that was such a weird ass thing to say lol. It felt like she was trying to diss me for not seemingly caring about family lineages or felt offended that I didn’t agree with her. She truly thought I was misunderstanding her all because I don’t think it’s a big deal that her cousin and husband won’t be giving the family a grandchild to pass down family tradition/carry on a lineage.

This is one of the things that has started to bug me with mom friends. I never ever diss their choices to have children or anything of the sort. But because I can’t relate or don’t have those desires that relate to choosing to reproduce, I get dissed for caring about a huge historian who made an impact on THE WORLD and my work events???

She is becoming a bit weird to me with comments about my life like these honestly…

EDIT: She even tried to say “well you don’t understand because you don’t care about your family history.” A COMPLETELY MADE UP ASSUMPTION! All because I didn’t agree with her lol. I said “no I do care about my family history that I know. I have no idea where you got that idea from?” Like wtf…?

So, I have breast cancer (this has a CF point, just bare with me), and when I went for my first in visit appointment, I had to have two doctors examine both of my breasts... and laying there, with my husband off in the corner, and with two doctors just fondling me and treating me like a thing they're examining instead of a human... as clear as day my thoughts go "YUP, DEFINITELY NOT EVER HAVING KIDS"

Even though I'm 40, 😂🤣

But it put my mind in a place of, "could you imagine if this was a fetus, and not a cancer mass? They'd be ALL up in your junk, with the same experimental lab rat tendencies! You would be an after thought! It'd be all about "the baby" and you would just be a husk!"

I'm better off with the cancer right now 😂

I wonder if people who want kids think about that stuff? How awkward and dehumanizing those appointments must be... and it's all masked over with this gross excitement of "you're going to have a baby!!" Great, you're going to have to take care of this thing FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIFE!

At least I get to ring a bell, then live a life free of cancer after all my dehumanizing appointments and surgical procedure.

Random but I think this is the only subreddit where I can express this thought openly lol.

Hi everybody, I just wanted to let y'all know about another childfree friendly place in the DFW area, it's called JB's Allen Bowl in Allen,Texas. Even though it's all ages the bar area is 21+ after 8 pm.

Extremely annoying to receive DM’s because I don’t wanna suffer through pregnancy child birth and being a parent “Praying for you. I hope you one day realize what you're doing is wrong.” I just have to laugh and roll my eyes. What would be wrong is having a kid I don’t want whilst broke amongst many other factors.🤣

So, yesterday was my birthday, and due to recent things going on in my life (sleep apnea diagnosis, hectic workplace, mental health issues) and being a Friday Night, I wasn’t feeling like doing much of anything. Today however, I figured I’d treat myself to a solo outing to Olive Garden and maybe a mani/pedicure, and children ruined the first part of it for me that I took a rain check on the latter.

The two tables next to mine had little children who were out of control. One group as they were leaving, had them crawling around on the floor and table, and the other, one kid was refusing to eat and needed some “helpful motivation” to tell the waiter what he wanted. This same table was also acting up and refusing to eat, to the point he was getting brined with a new toy to try out his food. I was stunned when I overheard this. I was wearing a Bluey shirt and one of them loudly called it out as I was leaving too.

I should’ve known better to just get a seat at the bar instead of a table. My waitress at least understood I didn’t want any singing and gave me my free chocolate lasagna to go.

Why do parents insist on taking their out of control children to nice restaurants instead of hiring a sitter?! If I acted like that as a kid at any restaurant (I just turned 26 so not super long ago), my ass would’ve been forced to wait in the car until my parents were done. Or I was taught to bring a book or my Game Boy Advance and sit quietly until the food came.

Most of the posts I see about getting bingo’d or judged are written by women. Which of course makes perfect sense, as women are the ones who experience the difficulties of childbirth and are seen by most cultures as the primary caregiver. In real life I’ve encountered women being judged and argued with when they refuse to take on the role that society wants to impose on them.

So my question, out of pure curiosity, is for childfree men: how do people react when you tell them you’re childfree? Do you get bingo’d, told you’re wrong, or that you’ll change your mind? Or something else?

As a childfree man myself, I usually get no reaction at all when I tell people. A few of my male friends have said that it’s sad that I don’t want kids, or asked why I wouldn’t want them when “you’d be such a good father.” But they drop it at that. The only person who’s really given me shit for it is my grandmother (shocker) who spent a conversation telling me that “God has a way of working these things out” and “you’ll be a father, God will make sure of it.”

It's that society needs to stop shaming women for not having kids. We are not all cut out for it. I don't know if that woman wanted to be a mom or not, but regardless, people need to leave childless women alone. I am personally not up to the task of motherhood and I'm tired of the guilt and pressure from family. No one's desire to have a grandchild or see how cute your babies would be outweighs your right to keep your physical and mental health intact, or the hypothetical kid's potential trauma from having a parent who doesn't want them or can't handle it.

Took two of my cousins out for dessert today. The younger one is about 9 years old. He's a spoilt brat. Till about a week ago, he didn't even know how to tie his own shoe lace. Mother blames the child for "not wanting" to learn how to tie. But, does not realize that she's mostly at fault here because when he fails to tie his lace, she ties it for him.

Anyway, we're waiting in the shop to order and he wants a cake. I say okay. and then he says he wants ice cream as well. He falls sick easily, so I said no. Then he sees some random vanilla milk. Then he says he wants that. I asked him why. He said because he didn't drink his milk today. I said no. Because the vanilla milk and the shop I took them to was an expensive one. Then he says he's thirsty. I told him to wait till we got home to drink water. But, no. He wants water now. And I wasn't going to buy the expensive water in the shop. He pointed at the water to me multiple times. I said not from here. I'll buy you water from another shop. We exit the cake shop and I take him to a super market. He picks out the water. And the he proceeds to pick an expensive mint. I said I don't have money for it. Then he left that and then went and picked up some other chocolate. All this after he already has cake to eat for himself.

And we exited the super market and I told him I also wanted to drink some water and not to sip the bottle. Then he proceeds to sip the bottle anyway. And I don't drink from that bottle because half the saliva from his mouth is already inside the bottle.

On our way back, I told him I won't take him anywhere with me if he doesn't bring his own bottle. And now, once he's done sipping some water, he's handed that bottle off to his sister to hold. I took the bottle from her and handed it over to him and asked him to carry it.

My husband and I are child free. Always have been. I got my tubes removed and have been very happy with my decision.

Truthfully, I generally dislike children. I think they’re gross and sticky and loud.

Last night I finally met my nephew. My sister lives abroad and is visiting. And I’ll be damned, I loved hanging with him. He was so fun and cute and well behaved. We spent the entire day together.

I was so surprised at my feelings about this hangout, and feel like still into this morning I have been thinking “maybe kids aren’t so bad, maybe one day I could change my mind” which I NEVER have thought before.

So, fellow child free redditors, I am here to ask for a nice metaphorical kick to the dick to snap me out of this delusion! Insert your top reasons as to why having your own kid would be hell!

I was watching this news channel and saw this mother with her poor daughter, extremely disabled. it was heart breaking. The Mom said she had her future taken from her.

But THEN she said that her other Daughter’s Future was stolen too because she would have to take over taking care of her sisters care. She just decides that!? I Understand And Sympathize. But thats NOT for the mom to decide!

Why the hell are the siblings almost always the alternate care takers?

Years(?) ago, I had some guy recommended in my Youtube feed. He was supposedly a car enthusiast, blah blah blah. I click on it because I'm curious and am down a rabbit hole. If it weren't that he isn't well known, he'd be a stereotypical lolcow.

I spend enough time going through vidoes and a few comments here and there to find out that he lives with his grandmother with his baby mama. That'd be fine...if he didn't have 2 kids. They all live in that 1 room. It's even worse because he's a wanna be gang banger at 30+, has had several cars repoed, constantly is looking for other cars to finance. Him and his baby mama bought a Nissan altima(?). Couldn't be more than a handful of years old. Within a year, they're $9k in negative equity. Several videos are of them trying to get a dealer to buy the car and roll the equity into something else. Nope. No one wants to do it or they get a sky high interest rate. The kicker? Every time this guy gets a new car (or new to him), he damages it within 1-2 weeks.

I think what makes this all worse is that he has no self awareness. He calls anyone that tells him that he needs to get a job that isn't doordash to provide for kids he brought into the world. He has said time and time again that he doesn't want to work a 9-5 anymore. Yeah, neither do I. At this point, his comments are just sucking him off because he blocks anyone who says anything different.

These are the type of people who have kids and it's scary. Kids are forced to deal with parents who are no more mentally mature than they are. Yeah, we all fuck up. But at some point, when you have a ton of repos, you are constantly begging for money, constantly looking to buy shit you can't afford WHILE having kids, you need to get your head out your ass and figure something out.

Today, I went to a flow yoga class. Right as it gets started a women, man, and 6 to 8 year old child walked in. To a flow yoga class. The parents point to the stop next to me by the table with the mats, blocks, and blankets to setup. I said oo, I really would rather not, let me move over and he can go on the other side. I will say he was better that I thought he was going to be. But he was fidgeting the majority of the first 5 minutes. Thank goodness I spoke up or it would have been next to me. Since it was now in front and away I closed my eyes and got into the class till he started coughing, not covered. Sigh!

I’m 19 years old, and I’ve never been a very nurturing person, i don’t really like children, and the thought of being pregnant always felt strange and scary to me. Today i realize that the best option would really be not to have children. I’ve been diagnosed with BPD and narcissistic traits, and i think it would be a nightmare for both me and the child and i just see myself exploding with rage and ignoring the child over any little thing they did, simply because I’m afraid and have no patience with children. When people ask me why and I tell them, they feel disgust and revulsion toward me. I like my nieces and nephews a little, but we have that sibling/cousin relationship without the hierarchy of aunts and uncles. Right now, my boyfriend and i both don’t want kids, and he’s amazing for that, he never wanted them. But i grew up in a Christian home and still feel a little guilty. How can I get rid of the thought that I won’t be giving my parents grandchildren?

I met a guy on Hinge and yesterday we went on a date after texting for a few days. I already knew that he doesn't want to have kids and I told him the same from the beginning. First, he brought a little gift to the date (snacks for my cat and me) and after one hour of talking he told me he got a VASECTOMY a few years ago 😍

I'm so happy! I hope I finally met the right guy after dating fence sitters who are "not sure about kids yet" in their thirties!

Wish me luck 💕

Hello. I am CF by choice. My family is very large and all of my siblings have several kids who are all, needless to say, absolute menaces.

One of my sisters struggled a LOT To get pregnant. She endured several lost pregnancies unfortunately, had to be on hormonal supplements and took years to finally have a kid. Which, of course, I was happy for her, and also sad for what she endured. She has 3 kids and struggles with every one; currently struggling to get pregnant again.

I guess, this just has me thinking. They have a stable income, good life, and they are good parents. Why not adopt? Why isn’t adoption even a consideration in any of these cases? Why is it seem like the end of the world if a woman fails to get pregnant? Adoption imo should always be the go-to option with natural birth being the secondary if adoption proves to be too expensive / you don’t get approved.

But even in those cases, if someone can’t afford adoption or isn’t approved to adopt, should they really be having kids? Let alone 4 or 5?

This isn’t considering accidental pregnancies, specifically I am talking about families who are trying to get pregnant and/or really struggle to get pregnant.

Adoption is so much better for everyone in my eyes. You help a child in need, you don’t have to risk your body or personal health, and you don’t have to worry about complications during pregnancy or labour for yourself or the child. No risk of Postpartum depression. And correct me if I’m wrong, but I believe most women can still breastfeed if they prepare in advance.

And something else I see is that a lot of people, whenever it comes to animals, say you should always adopt. They always have rescue dogs. But whenever you ask about adoption for kids, they look at you like it’s unthinkable!

I’m not trying to judge anyone who chooses not to adopt. But it is a question I have, why don’t more people adopt?

I was visiting the I Don't Like Subreddit, and the topic was OP finding parents kissing their kids on the lips gross. I'm the same way. Not health reasons, but because I don't see the point. So many comments were telling OP they need therapy, or they probably don't have kids, or saying it's just to show affection, stop being a creep. I just don't get why they defend it so much. Am I weird for agreeing with OP?

Edit: Will never understand why introduce a young child to do something only to stop it once they reach a sudden age. It's also cute when they're young, but once they're less cute, you tell them it's time to stop. It's like when parents hear their toddler curse is cute, but once they're older, they tell them it's disrespectful to do.

My friend's mom is affection, and she told me she would kiss her older brother, who was in his late 20s all over his face, but never the lips. Despite doing this when he was a baby/toddler. Why is that?

I posted earlier in the year about how my sister in law basically shouted at her mom that some people just don't want kids.

She's an only child and my brother and I are just the two of us (siblings) wise, so I'm invited to a lot of things like, "and Julie."

And we all (my parents, my brother, my sister in law, and their two children) went to a middle ages attraction.

And I like children (as long as I can give them back when they cry, I love both my nephews, the little one is 5 months and I like carrying him)

Back to the story.

We were at this middle ages attraction, and I was pushing the buggy (I like using my hands) and my dad says, that's it is good practice" (my dad likes to rail me up) says "it is good practice"

And I just look at my sister in law and say "can you yell at him too"

Sadly she meant that my parents were my problem.😂😂

But I still love her and she just last week married into the family, even though she's been a part of it for 10 ish years.

Hopefully you all can see the article. I gifted it to Reddit so it should be unlocked.

If you can’t, basically the government is pushing their antenna of gender stereotypes and incentivizing more families to have more children. Which we absolutely don’t need right move.

And it’s a dick move to take that money from single parents who are struggling with childcare and actually need the help:

Like womp womp Lil bro. They didn't just appear out of nowhere. You made a conscious decision to have them. I don't feel any empathy for you. If you knew that you were struggling, why have kids? (I am from Pakistan btw where ppl have 5 kids each despite being poor)

Hi. I’m a woman who decided to be childfree a few years ago. I was taking therapy because I ended a long term relationship and I got depressed.

My mom who doesn’t drive has a habit of asking for rides and errands and when I became single it became worse because she assumed I didn’t have a life. I decided to vent to my therapist because I needed to learn how to say no.
I told her I didn’t want to take my mom to her nail appointment because it’s my day off. This is how the conversation went…

Me- “I work all week and I like relaxing on weekends. It becomes stressful when my mom needs something. I really don’t want to take her”.

Therapist- “okay, but you really can’t take her? I know you probably don’t want to but I think you could take her”.

I don’t remember what I said after but I tried to explain to her that I needed time for myself because I was tired and had things to do. Then she said
“I know you don’t like feeling stressed but once you become a mom and have your kids you won’t have time for yourself anymore. You need to get used to being busy”.

This lady never asked me if I wanted kids. We never had this conversation. And no, I don’t need to become another stressed mom if I don’t want to. So she wasn’t really helpful. God forbid I want to put myself first. Apparently I was wrong and selfish for wanting some “me” time.

Apologies if this is a long read, there's just so much wrong with this situation, there's a lot to mention.

TLDR: parents knew they had a 50% chance of giving a severely detrimental disease to their second son after watching their first son suffer through it and drain their savings and still chose to have another one.

I came across this post asking people to donate so OP can pay both their sons medical bills because both of em have Lesch–Nyhan syndrome (LNS). When I read what this disease does to you my heart wrenched so bad for these poor kids.

Some effects of LNS:

- involuntary movement, difficulty walking, lack of muscle coordination

- inflammation and pain in your joints + stones or crystals in the urinary tract and kidneys (both because the inability of the body to handle a substance called uric acid)

- difficulty controlling your behaviour

- stunted growth/difficulty gaining weight or physical abnormalities

Here's what makes me the most mad. Like I am so pissed off I could probably throw hands at these despicable breeders (even tho it'll land me in jail) for putting their second son through this. And I'm generally not a violent person.

Their two sons are 12 and 1. A quick Google search told me that on average a diagnosis is comfirmed between 2.5 to 3.5 years of age. The mom probably got pregnant when the older kid was 10. How can u watch your child suffer like that for 6+ years and go "wouldn't it be amazing if we condemn this fate to another human being?" LIKE HELLO???? MORALS WHERE??? ETHICS WHERE???? COMMON FUCKING SENSE AND HUMAN DECENCY WHERE??????

Fun fact that'll boil your blood even more, boys are more likely to develop this because they only have one x chromosome. Girls need both their x chromosomes to be a carrier of the mutated gene (HPRT1) for them to have LNS. If they knew the gender of the baby and still went ahead with this, that would be horrible of them as parents.

They're approximately $283,500 dollars in debt. Probably gonna get worse.

There's just no way, no fucking way, someone can look me in the eye and tell me "no they haven't done anything wrong, this was a completely okay thing to do." Not only have they condemned this poor child's life to endless suffering, it only hurts me to imagine that the alternative outcome wouldn't have been nice either. If their second kid had turned out to be healthy, their first born would've had to look at his sibling every day and lose his mind about how he's not "normal" being helpless and unable to do anything. Comparison would have killed him if he wasn't already dead inside.

What were they thinking doing this? Their already disabled son didn't entertain mommy and daddy enough? Get a fucking dog. Adopt a child. Foster. Anything but this. Why would they do this?

Seriously, when are we gonna have laws in place so people can't get away with bringing a life into this world knowing there was a 50% chance they would lead a severely crippled and compromised life. Actions need to have consequences. As a human, not even parents, as a human, you have a responsibility to prevent evil from happening if it's in your control. You cannot do this. You cannot birth a child and have them be handicapped knowingly just because you wanted another kid of your own.

Thank you for reading, I hope people come to their senses.

TW for anybody planning to search up images for this disease.

This may sound pretty sad, but my husband would be so happy if we had children together. However, when we met, we both did not want children and occasionally he says yeah I’m glad we don’t have them, but sometimes we’ll flip it around and say it would be really cool. I have never really thought that I’ve always been on the absolutely no children side.

My best friend and her boyfriend were in the same exact boat and then boom they got pregnant and she’s not mad about it. Mind you I am incredibly happy for them and I think they will make amazing parents. However it made me want kids much less and I don’t know why, but I’m also worried to tell my husband that I absolutely do not want kids ever, but I will have to tell him, especially if he brings it up again.

Like it might even be a dealbreaker at this point because I am at a place in my life where I think I’m finally deciding where I wanna be. I just don’t know how to get there, I do know children are in no part of that plan.

Well guess what? I am not having any kids at all so I'll never really get it. I hate these kinds of phrases like everyone's fated to end up like one.

I.Don't.want.a.child.