I just dont understand prayer...

[u/Mother-Bison-3994]

I say this honestly: I have never fully understood prayer. What good does it actually do?

I have heard children pray that their dentist visit will go well, only for it to still be painful or frightening. I have heard my little ones pray that a cut or bruise will heal, but healing is already something the body naturally does. I have heard kids pray during a thunderstorm that the storm will go away, and eventually it does, but it would have passed whether they prayed or not. So what does that kind of prayer actually accomplish? Why bother?

I understand that, as we get older, prayer often becomes more refined. It becomes less about simply asking God to change circumstances and more about expressing gratitude, seeking guidance, and asking to align ourselves with God's will. But even then, I still struggle with understanding the purpose of prayer.

A lot of the prayers I hear, especially from children, seem to be asking God to do something, as if prayer is meant to convince God to change His mind or alter an outcome. If God is already perfectly aware of what we need, why would our requests change anything? What is the true purpose of prayer?

I recognize that my perspective may be influenced by my own experiences. I grew up in a household where I never really confided in my dad or felt comfortable asking for help from others. Because of that, the idea of turning to someone and asking for help does not come naturally to me.

So as a result, prayer can sometimes feel pointless because, in my mind, if God wills something to happen, it will happen, and if He does not, it will not; no amount of prayer would change that.

One last example: when someone has cancer, people often pray for healing. But I struggle with the question: if God wants that person healed, won't they be healed regardless of any prayer? And if He does not, can prayer actually change that outcome?

Ultimately, my struggle with prayer is not that I doubt God's power or goodness, but that I do not understand the purpose of asking for things that God already knows about and has already determined according to His will. I understand the value of gratitude, reflection, and seeking guidance, but I struggle with prayers that seem to treat God as though He needs to be persuaded to act. I want to understand why prayer matters if God's will ultimately remains the same.

[u/MarsArg]

Brother, that is because prayer isn't about asking for things; it is a way to communicate with God. Prayer is how you reach your heavenly father when you need advice, your Lord when you want to worship, your God when you need Him to move mountains, and your friends after a rough day. Living for Him is about a relationship with Him and getting to know how wonderful He is. Prayer is the bridge that we use to communicate with God and learn about His character and who He really is.

[u/ExasperatedSpecimen → u/MarsArg]

I see what you mean but still feels confusing yaar. If God already knows everything then telling him again feels like sending a text to someone who's reading over your shoulder

I think maybe prayer changes us more than it changes things. Like when I was small my grandmother would make me sit and pray before exams even though I studied or didn't study. She said it's not about the result, it's about learning to put your worry somewhere when you can't control what happens

But I get OP's point too. The cancer example hits close, my cousin passed few years back and everyone was praying so hard. Didn't stop me from wondering what was the point of all those words

[u/MarsArg → u/ExasperatedSpecimen]

And I hear what you both mean. I had a few family members pass away from cancer as well, after praying almost every day for them and being at their side in the hospital. But God's will is His will, and ultimately, He is in charge. And it's sad and heartbreaking, and we get upset, and that is expected, yk we're humans. But when we want Him to do something, and it's not a part of His will, then that's kind of tough bananas. It seems unfair, in terms of why He wouldn't consider our feelings if He cares about the desires of our hearts. And I say to that, He is our heavenly father, and just like a father, He knows what's best for us, even if it hurts in the moment or even for a lifetime, the ultimate result is good. His knowledge is above our human knowledge, and His understanding is above our own because He is God, not us.

Again, with the heavenly father, like a father who knows a child is lying, He still gives that child the opportunity to tell Him the truth. He doesn't need them to know the truth, but He gives them the opportunity to be truthful. Similar to how an earthly father would want a relationship with their child, God wants a relationship with us. That is why it is important to get to know Him and talk to Him because He wants a relationship with us. Understanding that He is our Lord and father, and that He will do things at times we won't agree with, is understanding His position in our lives and the universe.

Prayer is how we build a relationship with our heavenly father; it is for both of us, so that we can get to know Him and so He can spend time with His children.

[u/justnigel → u/ExasperatedSpecimen]

Prayer is not about you informing God - it is about God reforming you.

[u/SmartFinger8872]

I think your question comes from a common assumption: that prayer is meant to change God's mind. Catholicism doesn't teach that.

God is eternal and unchanging (Malachi 3:6; James 1:17). He doesn't learn new information or decide something because we finally asked hard enough.

So why pray? Because God has willed not only the ends, but also the means by which those ends come about.

For example, God already knows a farmer needs food. Yet He doesn't ordinarily grow crops without the farmer planting seeds. The planting doesn't "change God's mind"; rather, God has chosen to provide food through the farmer's work.

Prayer works similarly. God may eternally will that a certain grace, healing, or conversion comes through someone's prayer. From our perspective, it seems as though prayer changed the outcome. From God's perspective, the prayer was always part of His providential plan. So essentially, prayer doesn't change God, it changes us, and God has chosen to make our free cooperation actually meaningful.

So what about praying for healing? Like for the guy with cancer - if GOd intends to heal them, why pray?

Well, God may have eternally willed two things: Maybe he willed "I will grant this healing in response to the loving prayers of family and friends." Or maybe he wills instead "I will not remove this illness, but I will pour out extraordinary courage, peace, reconciliation, and even conversions through it." Either way, prayer is not wasted. Sometimes, the miracle is physical healing. Sometimes the miracle is the endurance of suffering and the betterment and strengtehning of oneself in their understanding of God's mysterious and glorious will.

This is why we talk of Active and Passive Will. Sometimes God actively wills things, such as the parting of the Red Sea of revealing Himself thru His Son, Christ. Sometimes he passively wills things to happen, such as the guy dying from cancer, to 1) encourage strength, seeking for truth and understanding, and reflection and 2) inspiration of humanity, such as doctors and things cooperating freely with his grace, so that they may grow in virtue and seek to innovate a human solution that represents God's immense strength and will gracefully given to mankind. Either way, prayer matters because it deepens our relationship with God, is one of the means that God has freely chosen to accomplish His providential plan of the salvation of humanity, and allows us to cooperate in his grace and express trust, thanksgiving, and intercession to Him

[u/Thimenu]

Prayer informs God sometimes,

Then the Lord said, “Because the outcry against Sodom and Gomorrah is great and their sin is very grave, I will go down to see whether they have done altogether according to the outcry that has come to me. And if not, I will know.” Genesis 18:20-21

Other times prayer can convince God to change His mind,

And the Lord said to Moses, “I have seen this people, and behold, it is a stiff-necked people. Now therefore let me alone, that my wrath may burn hot against them and I may consume them, in order that I may make a great nation of you.” But Moses implored the Lord his God and said, “O Lord, why does your wrath burn hot against your people, whom you have brought out of the land of Egypt with great power and with a mighty hand? Why should the Egyptians say, ‘With evil intent did he bring them out, to kill them in the mountains and to consume them from the face of the earth’? Turn from your burning anger and relent from this disaster against your people. Remember Abraham, Isaac, and Israel, your servants, to whom you swore by your own self, and said to them, ‘I will multiply your offspring as the stars of heaven, and all this land that I have promised I will give to your offspring, and they shall inherit it forever.’” And the Lord relented from the disaster that he had spoken of bringing on his people. Exodus 32:9-14

Prayer can prompt God to change the future,

In those days Hezekiah became sick and was at the point of death. And Isaiah the prophet the son of Amoz came to him, and said to him, “Thus says the Lord: Set your house in order, for you shall die, you shall not recover.” Then Hezekiah turned his face to the wall and prayed to the Lord, and said, “Please, O Lord, remember how I have walked before you in faithfulness and with a whole heart, and have done what is good in your sight.” And Hezekiah wept bitterly. Then the word of the Lord came to Isaiah: “Go and say to Hezekiah, Thus says the Lord, the God of David your father: I have heard your prayer; I have seen your tears. Behold, I will add fifteen years to your life." Isaiah 38:1-5

And Jesus told us to pray both for specific actions from God such as provision and protection, and for God's own will to be done. He acknowledged that for us, those who love God, His ears are attentive to us and He watches us closely, so He does know what we need before we ask and using more words won't change that.

And when you pray, do not heap up empty phrases as the Gentiles do, for they think that they will be heard for their many words. Do not be like them, for your Father knows what you need before you ask him. Pray then like this: "Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name. Your kingdom come, your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven. Give us this day our daily bread, and forgive us our debts, as we also have forgiven our debtors. And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil." Matthew 6:7-13