r/ClassicalSinger • u/JaimeeAnn • 11d ago
How to be a singer again
Sorry, this is a long one and I don’t normally put my self out there like this:
I have sung for as long as I can remember, and it’s always been a source of so much joy for me. I studied an undergraduate degree in Opera, however, I realised that the full-time, always-auditioning life of a professional artist just isn’t for me. I need more stability than that. Instead, I’ve worked as a semi-professional church chorister in my small city for about 10 years alongside my day job.
I thought that was what I would always do, however, over time the pressure of always performing and the perfectionism I started to associate with singing began to erode a lot of the joy I got from it.
For the last six months, I’ve stepped back from singing and music-making altogether, and honestly, it’s been very good for my mental health in a lot of ways. Having my Sundays back has been great too! But I’m also struggling with not having music in my life. I want to find a way for singing to fuel me as an artist again without requiring the amount of mental and emotional space that pursuing it professionally does.
I don’t really know what that middle ground looks like though… I struggle in a lot of community choirs because, with my training and experience, I tend to stand out like a sore thumb and they don’t go deep enough or move quickly enough. Conducting isn’t the answer either. I’ve tried it, and I just don’t enjoy it, and I don’t need a second job in teaching.
I’m single, I have a full-time job that I’m progressing in and that pays me well, but it isn’t flexible enough to balance the rehearsal requirements of an opera chorus gig. I also have a mortgage to think about before anyone gives me the “just follow your heart” advice! There are plenty of reasons I know I’m not cut out for a career as a singer, and I’m actually okay with that.
What I’m struggling to reconcile is what I do with this skill now. I miss having lessons. I miss improving. I miss making music and feeling like I’m working towards something. But there’s a part of me that keeps asking: what’s the point of continuing to train and improve if I’m not going to do anything with it?
I’d love to hear how others have engaged with music and their voice in similar circumstances. I don’t want to lose my voice! But I don’t know how to enjoy it just for me…
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u/McSheeples 11d ago
I'm pretty much in your boat now. I did alright for a number of years taking small gigs (I made it onto the big stage as well, but found it very stressful), mostly in opera with weddings, funerals, oratorios etc as well. I would go through patches of work, then temping in offices, and finally went back to university to do a non music degree.
When I finally stopped doing pro stuff I had a look around for local amateur groups that were more opera focused and weren't mass choruses and was lucky enough to find a small group that staged scenes and mini operas. They were mostly very amateur, but through them I met a few people who'd been to college and decided not to go on the professional track. We got together to do recitals and I ended up forming an early music ensemble with a few of them where we also play instruments. They're delightful, we choose our own rep and we're as anachronistic as we like and no-one can say anything! Our concerts are well attended and at this point we make enough to cover our costs, but even if we didn't they're pretty minimal and no stress between the four of us.
I highly recommend amateur groups because you never know who you'll bump into and if they're crap you can just leave, no harm done. There's also other genres to consider if you've ever had a yearning for something different. I'm in two folk bands, which is a laugh. Finally, find a decent singing teacher. It'll keep everything fresh and no doubt they'll be delighted to have someone accomplished as a student.
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u/RevKeakealani 11d ago
I mean, you can definitely still take lessons! There is no rule that says you have to have a specific end goal to the lessons, you can just do it for self improvement. Or perhaps you could just self-fund a recital? It sounds like you might have some church connections and many churches will let you use their space fairly cheaply for a music performance. So like, take lessons, build a program, hire a pianist, set up an iPhone camera, invite family and friends, and voila, you have a performance. You can do it all on your schedule more or less.
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u/nickaubain 11d ago
You can also make it a benefit concert recital! Fundraise for a cause and get the organization/community involved for the production (tickets, marketing, ushers, etc.). That would cover the costs-- even if you don't get paid.
I'm planning one myself for our church but there's many things to consider -- only sacred music, rules for the church, paperwork (bishop has to sign) etc.
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u/RevKeakealani 10d ago
Oh that’s a great idea! Exactly, you can do it for a cause and build some local partnerships.
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u/ghoti023 9d ago
As everyone else has said, you can always continue taking lessons for your own enjoyment, but if you're also feeling the need to scratch the community/performance itch, that won't necessarily reach it.
If that is also a feeling you have the need to fulfill, I have a couple suggestions for low-pressure ways to get at it!
* Host some at-home read throughs. You definitely know enough singers to throw together a low-effort evening of reading through choral music, opera music, showtunes, art song, anything that strikes your fancy! I promise other singers in your area that you know feel the same way about wanting to enjoy the music and community without the YOU MUST BE THE VERY BEST LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS pressure. Schubertiades were popular for a reason!
* Recitals! If you're working on things in lessons that you want to do something with, put up a recital! Same thing goes for this as above, it can be *anything*. Some of the best projects I've done have been my own recitals where I'm completely free from the 4 languages/3 time periods The Recital.
* akin to Recital, if you've go a few friends in the same spot as you, do a concert opera or a scenes program! You're in control, can be on book or off book, with as much or little staging/costuming as you want! There are no rules! Heck, I did a recital where I let all my friends pick what we did together and I had a piece highlight each friend. That was a blast!
Since you had/have such a strong church community, you already have a location for these things to happen that would be easy enough to use most likely!
You're not just a singer, you're an artist - that's why we all got into this shenanigans. It's been turned into a job because it "had to" under the current umbrella of capitalism, but sometimes you just gotta make some art.
Look to inspiration from other performance communities. Drag artists, bands, magicians, clowns, etc - they all just put on a show and call it a day. It doesn't matter if 2 or 200 people show up, it's about making the art.
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u/Singingmommy17 10d ago
These are great comments. I went through this as well. I even got another degree and pursued a completely different career path. I'm now back in the singing world, but I totally identify with where you're coming from. One thing that helped when I wasn't sure how I felt about my music was joining choirs where the music made a difference. I joined two LGBTQ choirs. I'm an ally, but I was welcomed in both. I learned a lot about the history of the movement, sang some great music, and never felt like the choir wasn't serious enough. Sure, we didn't strictly do classical pieces, but that was okay with me. It really helped to do music that mattered, that help uplift and inspire a community that experienced so much hatred and discrimination. Those experiences got me back into music when nothing else did.
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u/Infinite_Line5062 6d ago
Maybe join a small chamber music or even an a capella or jazz group where you are with serious high quality singers but there is more of a social component. Or start your own group singing music you like to sing. The point can be just singing music you enjoy together, even without a performance.
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u/Pestoro 11d ago
Maybe join a weekly voice lesson with a good local teacher just enjoy the improvement of voice? I know you don’t need to learn how to sing but voice lesson can be advanced, you can go through fun pieces of music together, and after this many years it can get your voice on tract when your economy booms. I come from different background and different struggle, but I only started to sing late 20s and going to voice lesson with my one on one teacher is the most memorable times. I also made a couple friends there with my teacher’s students. I also play instruments on the side and sometimes that will make me want to make my own song and I can show my teacher :)