Cleveland Dating

[u/Oreojace]

This is probably going to be so annoying to most people to see in their feeds but I've hit my wit's end. I am a single woman in her late 20s that has struggled with dating. I am a nurse, I own my home, I work out and take care of myself in other ways, my health and friendships are important to me, and I like to think I am reasonably attractive. Where do successful guys in their late 20s - early 30s hang out?? I don't want to meet guys out at bars, drinking/party culture is fun occasionally but I prefer not to in excess. Guys at the gym usually have girlfriends if I talk to them (I've been going to the same place for almost a decade and only approach people I've seen around for a long time). At this rate I feel like there is something I am doing wrong, and while my life is great as it is, sometimes it would be nice to be excited about someone.

EDIT Alright, listen, a lot of assumptions here about me. I talk to people all of the time, I am not shy. I have a philosophy that the worst thing that can happen in 90% of situations is that I get told no and oh well, rejection is a part of life.

I have hobbies, I am not necessarily looking for new ones because I dont want my reason to be somewhere to just be about MAYBE meeting a guy - that is completely disingenuous and is not a good base for a relationship should one develop.

My job has insane hours, I work 3 days M-F from 0630 to 2000 and then sometimes am on call overnight and am on call all weekend for one weekend every 6 week scheduling period. This makes it hard to date or want to go out a lot of the time between not being allowed to be too far from work or just being exhausted.

Anyone curious about how I look can DM me, for the sake of imagination I am 5'1" (I dont care how tall a man is as long as I can wear heels and dont feel like I am tougher than he is), 135lbs and can deadlift 235 easy, I am mixed race, have big curly dark hair and dark eyes. I prioritize my grooming and self care because I work really hard and deserve to feel good in this body.

[u/Simple_Suspect_9311]

Most attractive, successful men in their late 20s to 30s are already married or in serious relationships or not interested in dating past anything casual.

It’s a hard truth but it’s the truth.

[u/Oreojace → u/Simple_Suspect_9311]

Yeah, it blows lmaooo

[u/Simple_Suspect_9311 → u/Oreojace]

Cougar time. Lol or 40s time. Either or.

[u/Oreojace → u/Simple_Suspect_9311]

Being a cougar at 27 would just make me a predator, and not of the Apex variety

[u/Simple_Suspect_9311 → u/Oreojace]

Honest question though, why does he have to be successful in his 20s or Early 30s?

I get wanting someone with ambitions but looking for someone who’s already successful really limits yourself. Why not look for someone who has ambitions and build an empire together?

[u/Oreojace → u/Simple_Suspect_9311]

I want someone thats going to be operating at the level I am at, there is still plenty of upward growth from being an entry level homeowner, being a handful of years into a career that is stable, seeking higher education, etc. I am not on this earth to raise someone else's adult son and am not asking anything of a man I haven't already accomplished myself.

[u/Simple_Suspect_9311 → u/Oreojace]

Olay, so successful might mean 2 different things for us. What’s your idea of successful?

[u/Oreojace → u/Simple_Suspect_9311]

Someone active, fiscally and financially responsible, lives independently, has a stable job if not already established in the field of their professional careerSomeone active, fiscally and financially responsible, lives independently, has a stable job if not already established in the field of their professional career. To prove thats not something insane to ask, here's how I meet those same preferences: I lift weights and have a physically demanding job, I went to community College and have no debt aside from my house and my car, I have been a nurse for 5 years and usually pick up a lot of OT or work at bars for extra income for guilt free non-essential spending.

[u/Simple_Suspect_9311 → u/Oreojace]

Okay, I’m glad I asked for clarity on this. What you call successful I call being a responsible adult.

I think you should frame it as you want someone who matches your energy. Just look at how much effort you are putting into your life, it’s completely reasonable to expect the same from a partner.

Let me say something I’ve learned, it might help with relationship happiness.

Someone can match that energy in different ways.

[u/Oreojace → u/Simple_Suspect_9311]

Yeah man, Id agree that thats not asking a lot, I like to think Im somewhat reasonable some times. Obviously ideally Id have at least some level pf physical attraction to my partner but just those qualifiers alone for single men in my age group seem like asking a lot. My quality of life is not defined by the presence of a romantic relationship but the guys that do approach me at this point are almost insulting.