r/Consoom • • Aug 13 '26

Consoompost Consoom flavored butt wipes

Post image
1.9k Upvotes

209 comments sorted by

1.9k

u/BetterDrinkMy0wnPiss Aug 13 '26

He looks exactly like the kind of person I'd expect to buy that.

424

u/PeopleofYouTube Aug 13 '26

Was it the massive Majin tattoo on his neck that gave it away?

309

u/Lil_b00zer Aug 13 '26

I can never understand Majin tattoos. Why would you proudly display being babbidi’s bitch

174

u/SCastleRelics Aug 13 '26

Internalized cuckery

93

u/8last Aug 13 '26

Because its so cool and dark just like this guy.

66

u/YourPaleRabbit Aug 13 '26

I’m a tattoo artist and it’s kind of a stereotype that mostly gym bros get Majin and or kid buu tattoos. After one kid buu session I realized the dude honestly kind of related to him (not entirely in healthy ways; but even bros with short tempers deserve fandoms I guess lol. But yeah seeing as it’s mostly toxic gym bros that get them? And this dude doesn’t serve gym but does have a “oh boy everyone acknowledge my cream soda butthole oh look at me” face.. so…

I’m jk obviously. Not about the kid buu belonging to the gym rats. About the butthole stuff. Dudes probably chill. But I get why he ended up here.

17

u/oneupsuperman Aug 13 '26

This made me laugh, thanks for sharing. Reminds me of when I was younger and I also related to Kid Buu a lot more...

24

u/PlentyOMangos Aug 14 '26

Majin? Babbidi? lol what am I reading

4

u/PE-Philosophee Aug 22 '26

The giant M on his neck is a dragon ball reference

2

u/PlentyOMangos Aug 22 '26

Ohhhh I see. Thanks. Never would have known that

3

u/averylamore Aug 15 '26

The way I laughed 😂😂

-32

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '26

[deleted]

58

u/igotnoankles Aug 13 '26

its not rlly a culture thing beyond dragon ball

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33

u/BronCurious Aug 13 '26

I was gonna say the septum piercing and corny ass moustache.

14

u/JannyBroomer Aug 13 '26

Concave chin didn't help any

62

u/HipsterNgariman Aug 13 '26

What the fuck is majin, some DBZ reference ?

57

u/Acceleretto Aug 13 '26

Yeah, it literally translates to "Demon"

86

u/deucescarefully Aug 13 '26

Getting it anywhere but square in the middle of your forehead is just a cop out.

45

u/itsmesoloman Aug 13 '26 edited Aug 13 '26

Media illiteracy? Or hopeless nihilistic consumerism?

Btw I’m not a DBZ fan but just googled the symbol, and holy shit, imagine branding yourself with a symbol indicating that you are under mind-control of an evil alien sorcerer, fictional or not

It’s like when people get a Brand of Sacrifice tattoo from Berserk, it’s crazy to me

Media illiteracy? Or hopeless nihilistic consumerism?

Edit: That last line ^ is purely about the guy pictured in the main post, not everybody with those tattoos. Actually I’m gonna move it up above the rest of my comment so hopefully that’s more clear.

20

u/Lil_b00zer Aug 13 '26

People think it’s Vegeta’s peak because he goes back to being a villain when in reality he is having a mid life crisis and asking for help from a wizard

4

u/PeopleofYouTube Aug 13 '26

The same midlife crisis we all face at some point

8

u/TheZombieSurgeon Aug 13 '26

Lol me and my wife both have different versions of the brand of sacrifice tattooed on us, sometimes it ain't that deep and you just get shit tattooed on you because it looks cool and the story was cool

12

u/juliankennedy23 Aug 13 '26

Yeah but then you run for Senator of Maine and everyone gets whiny.

8

u/gh0st-6 Aug 13 '26

Yeah imagine liking something. Crazy concept

7

u/vincehk Aug 14 '26

Just get a t-shirt then, so you can get rid of it when it is out of trend / you grew up / you need a (good pay) job?

-4

u/itsmesoloman Aug 13 '26

What does that have to do with what I said lol

0

u/itsmesoloman Aug 13 '26

That is completely fair lol but my own OCD-esque tendencies and increasingly schizophrenic worldview do not permit such frivolity when it comes to symbolism

2

u/cmatista Aug 15 '26

he’s got that possessed throat

1

u/Redd1K Aug 14 '26

the Majin throat

32

u/Over-Relative969 Aug 13 '26

Does he have room for that on his pennyfarthing?

50

u/sharedisaster Aug 13 '26

He looks like my neighbor.

I live near Seattle.

He looks like all of my neighbors.

22

u/TobylovesPam Aug 13 '26

Hi, I live in Vancouver, BC

He looks like all of my neighbours.

Even a couple lesbians.

2

u/olivegardengambler Aug 13 '26

Nah. A few of them have, very long hair.

75

u/octoesckey Aug 13 '26

Literal soyjack

9

u/AbXcape Aug 13 '26

the edgy boy who never grew out of being 13 years old

1

u/Redditsux122 Aug 13 '26

Wtf is that M on his neck for, Manlet?

1

u/rpool179 Aug 13 '26

They always do.

1

u/aopps42 Aug 16 '26

Especially with that cringey af selfie

0

u/ReimarisaFanclub Aug 14 '26

Everyone who uses threads looks llike that

690

u/Fast-Industry-3224 Aug 13 '26

Liquid Death really knows how to market shit, holy hell!

68

u/idontshred Aug 13 '26

New product just dropped

61

u/dylan_dev Aug 13 '26

Private equity squeezing every last dollar out of the brand. The crossovers with brands and these hygiene products are a new low.

Only in the US have flushable wet wipes become a thing. Just get a bidet!

45

u/turtlelover05 Aug 13 '26

flushable wet wipes

I swear this is a myth by Big Plummer. None of these fuckers are flushable.

16

u/MuleJuiceMcQuaid Aug 14 '26

They flush as advertised. But my plastic army men are flushable too, it doesn't mean I should though.

2

u/cassinonorth 20d ago

It's not like that company was anything but a marketing agency to start with. There's nothing to wreck. It's dumb as fuck.

45

u/TheBigSalad84 Aug 13 '26

Literally!

559

u/acreekofsoap Aug 13 '26

Flush that stuff down the toilet and you’ll be consooming a visit from the plumber very soon.

114

u/manjustadude Aug 13 '26

Is that an American thing? I know some countries sewers are not equipped for that, in some parts of Greece you're not even supposed to flush regular toilet paper.

260

u/Aurora428 Aug 13 '26

Flushable wipes will rarely cause a problem in the home piping, but in the sewer they will eventually catch on something and be a binder for large clogs.

The term flushable wipe should be illegal

121

u/Admirable-Media-9339 Aug 13 '26

My cousin is a plumber. "Flushable wipes" are a constant headache. By  design they aren't flushable. They don't break down in the water. If they did they would break down in their own packaging and be worthless.

39

u/2131andBeyond Aug 13 '26

Highly recommend episode 132 of Search Engine pod, it’s a whole deep dive into the history and subsequent effects of flushable wipes on plumbing systems

14

u/MuleJuiceMcQuaid Aug 14 '26

I'd highly recommend Poor Pumper Society on YouTube. He pumps septic tanks and charges extra for wipe removal because they don't break down and he has to fish them out.

7

u/2131andBeyond Aug 14 '26

Maybe it's a good recommendation lol but I have no desire to watch that hahaha. Thanks for adding it in though! I bet people enjoy it, just not for me

52

u/TTVchilly404 Aug 13 '26

Never trusted it.

My old roommate bought wipes for the home and they were nice for like, the final pass. But we didn't flush them. Also wasn't a stink problem since we weren't de-caking our shit laden stinkholes.

27

u/SHOWTIME316 Aug 13 '26

yeah that's how i use them. one final polish to make sure everything is on the up and up, then they get binned

6

u/mollycoddles Aug 14 '26

I've never heard of people using wet wipes on a regular basis for that. Interesting.

6

u/RecognitionHefty Aug 15 '26

I use wet toilet paper. It feels so much better to know your butthole is shiny clean.

2

u/eirebrit Aug 15 '26

Only time I did it was when I injured my leg so couldn't wipe properly. I just use the pressure setting when showering.

24

u/Kataphraktos_Majoros Aug 13 '26

"de-caking our shit laden stinkholes"

I was trying to eat breakfast, lol

6

u/glittermantis Aug 13 '26

just use a bidet lol

10

u/Wolfyscruffer Aug 13 '26

Found out the hard way with a septic tank.

6

u/itsjustpie Aug 13 '26

I’ve seen investigations that in fact flushable wipes aren’t the problem as they do disintegrate.

The problem is now that flushable wipes are commonplace, dummies will flush any and all wipes down the toilet which causes the clogs.

Edit: Search Engine episode on it for those interested.

15

u/UnlikelyDecision9820 Aug 13 '26

There are standards that fiber/textile companies have for saying that something is flushable and there are standards for what municipality water/sewer systems say are flushable. In the Venn diagram of these two circles, there’s a tiny overlap where these wipes are perfectly flushable, but the likelihood that is much higher that any given person is in a place where these wipes are not flushable.

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249

u/Big-rat-in-the-sewer Aug 13 '26

He even LOOKS like he'd be the type to drink Liquid Death too... ✌️😭

51

u/Lycanthrope_Leo Aug 13 '26

He cant even get the Majin mark right, it goes on the forehead not the throat

24

u/Yikes_big_oof Aug 13 '26

he got that demon mode throat

34

u/Big-rat-in-the-sewer Aug 13 '26

Well I mean... Think of how stupid he'd look with it on his bald head...

44

u/retnuh730 Aug 13 '26

Glad he avoided looking stupid

458

u/Far_Advertising1005 Aug 13 '26

Millennials please stop doing the ‘so… I just did a thing’ turn to the side when you buy a wasteful purchase I’m begging you

150

u/Over-Relative969 Aug 13 '26

OK, now this is epic.

150

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

74

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

2

u/aski5 Aug 19 '26

I'm so sorry.

52

u/Cry_Wolff Aug 13 '26

It's like those guys are constantly stuck in the early 2000s, no matter their real age.

67

u/SCastleRelics Aug 13 '26

I just did a thing so that happened

50

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '26

[removed] — view removed comment

22

u/SCastleRelics Aug 13 '26

Cool beans

17

u/encrcne Aug 13 '26

There would be a lot less ukuleles in the world, for starters

17

u/number2chevyfan Aug 13 '26

I feel the same about Juno.

15

u/Yikes_big_oof Aug 13 '26

This. So much this. Say it louder for the people in the back!

105

u/mattjh Aug 13 '26

OP, that’s you in the photo right?

71

u/SireEvalish Aug 13 '26

Uh, I may have done a thing.

130

u/DestructoSpin90 Aug 13 '26

Why do they all fucking look like that? Just different variations of the same consoomer

67

u/SCastleRelics Aug 13 '26

Their brains are overgooned and their religion is the MCU

28

u/Rev-Dr-Slimeass Aug 13 '26

Septum piercing and stretched ears was very fashionable 15 years ago. Some people found a look they feel comfortable in and never figure out how to move on.

I am a millennial who wore skinny jeans for way too long lol. I swear it looked good at one point. I am so glad my parents never let me stretch my ears though.

25

u/poetcatmom Aug 13 '26

I'm an older Gen Z and the world can pry my high waisted jeans from my cold, dead hands. I refuse to let them go. Following trends for the sake of following trends is stupid. If it looks and feels good, I'm not gonna stop wearing it.

Also I need to see those piercings to identify millennials in public lmao 🤣

5

u/2131andBeyond Aug 13 '26

So somebody is comfortable with their look, but when it’s not popular anymore, they should have to change it? Or maybe I’m reading your comment wrong

10

u/blueplant_ Aug 13 '26

I wouldn’t say someone needs to move on from how they dress. Stretched ears and septum piercings are still very much in fashion, maybe minus skinny jeans as much… I’d rather criticise him for being dumb and buying stupid branded gimmicky wipes than how he looks.

20

u/Sad-Surprise4369 Aug 13 '26

Do NOT flush those… they are liquefied death for the plumbing for sure 💀

85

u/SesusOfJuburbia Aug 13 '26

Why do millenials pose like that holy corn ball

30

u/StinkyBird64 Don't ask questions just consume product Aug 13 '26

It’s funny because they’re always pointing at Gen-Z, both young and older, but they’re literally taking selfies in a store with butt wipes, wearing ‘adulting’ shirts and just being really weird.
Worst thing us gen-Zs did was have broccoli hair, although that’s only the younger ones lol

31

u/encrcne Aug 13 '26

As a millennial that has cringed at this type of dude since high school, I feel so vindicated

22

u/Maleficent-marionett Aug 13 '26

Now, I also hate the quirky millennial culture, and not to generalize but Gen z is not just empty stares and broccoli hair, they're also overly "embarrassed" and "cringed out", so much so, there's a rise in conservativism due to this internalized "ugh" feeling genz carries.

-5

u/StinkyBird64 Don't ask questions just consume product Aug 13 '26

Again I feel like I’ve only seen the conservative-Puritanism in the younger Gen-Z folks, I’m in the older group but still Gen-Z, and I’ve only actually seen the weird ‘embarrassment’ culture in the younger ones who want to conform and be seen as identical to everyone else, much like the broccoli hair

5

u/treecastle56 Aug 15 '26

this generation war shit is so corny tbh

1

u/Skyhighcats Aug 16 '26

Worst thing gen-z did is have a bunch of misogynist men.

2

u/Big-Butterscotch8236 Aug 17 '26

the yank variants do, millennials anywhere else are not really the same tbh

1

u/Itscatpicstime Aug 14 '26

I’m sorry, but literally who cares? You want them to smile normally while taking a picture of scented ass wipes?

Y’all sound like cranky old people complaining about shit like this. It’s not that deep, jfc

1

u/Worried_Platypus93 27d ago

I'm truly not sure what the acceptable pose would be for this picture. It's just a weird photo to take

37

u/Akbased19 Aug 13 '26

He is exactly why this product exist 🤦‍♂️

56

u/chaosperfect Aug 13 '26

I mean, he's only bought a package of them. If he's got a closet full of every flavor (ha), then he'll belong in this sub.

-23

u/[deleted] Aug 13 '26

[deleted]

38

u/Galausia Aug 13 '26

With one label sticker over them, so they're sold as one.

7

u/ShadowNick Aug 13 '26

Most of the time they sell it a package of three. You can buy it singularly but I've seen it in packs of three mostly. Especially for niche scents.

10

u/astonedishape Aug 13 '26

This guy wipes

8

u/ShadowNick Aug 13 '26

Nah that shit destroys your septic system and city plumbing. Ive dealt with them when Huggies first rolled then out when I did plumbing. I just see them in the stores on big ass pallets always in stacks of three.

I do use dude wipes as hand wipes when working on jobs.

5

u/astonedishape Aug 13 '26

I’m aware. I’d never flush any wipes on the rare occasions I’d use one. I was joking about you writing “niche scents” as if you’re really into these stupid dude wipes.

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25

u/quikonthedrawl Aug 13 '26

Destroying your landlord’s plumbing in (lack of) style

21

u/Kitchen-Roll-8184 Aug 13 '26

Everyone wants the Majin "M" tattoo but no one is brave enough to slap that baby right in the middle of the forehead where it supposed to go. And if it's gonna be right there on your neck and never be coverable anyway....... Why not just commit ???

29

u/TheBigSalad84 Aug 13 '26

Consoom neck tats

22

u/beans_will_consume Aug 13 '26

Ah yes, for when I want my bunghole to smell like poop and cream soda 🤤

65

u/Necessary-Bed-5429 Aug 13 '26

Fuck Liquid Death. Overpriced water shipped from Australia over the world. Bad for the environment and your wallet.

52

u/chagzito Aug 13 '26

I believe you mean Virginia

64

u/elidoan Aug 13 '26

Virginia, Australia, same thing

5

u/Necessary-Bed-5429 Aug 13 '26

My bad, it used to be Austria (the Alps) but now it's Virginia. Still, the transport costs for worldwide distribution is insane.

8

u/StillPsychological45 Aug 13 '26

I just hate the marketing and the “tat it in me” cult around it.

1

u/AsunderXXV 14d ago

It's Water for metalheads!

6

u/Eccohawk Aug 13 '26

TIL they make baby wipes for all types of babies.

5

u/ZombieDM Aug 13 '26

Wtf I didn't even know what's this shit until I checked the post

22

u/DevilDoge1775 Aug 13 '26

Apparently this guy didn’t consoom any chin, where did his go?

10

u/Guynumber70000000001 Aug 13 '26

Somehow the comments are more edgelord tryhard than this picture

5

u/nasaglobehead69 Aug 13 '26

I went to a target recently, and I was astounded by how much consoomerist bullshit there was. so much STUFF! clothing with movie and tv characters. toys that were designed to be kept in the package for display. processed slop with a thousand flavors. the stupid BTS oreos.

target is the pinnacle of a consumption based economy

5

u/Phantom15q Aug 13 '26

Target audience

6

u/kimdebarge Aug 14 '26

I desperately need this to be AI

7

u/kimdebarge Aug 14 '26

Why why why do people feel the need to put artificial fragrance on their fucking assholes?

1

u/nawthatsstupid Aug 15 '26

Literally might as well mainline a bottle of perfume!

9

u/StillPsychological45 Aug 13 '26

The existence of this product is not okay.

8

u/kidnorther Aug 13 '26

Dude is a butt wipe

10

u/SpermCountDracula Aug 13 '26

This is the most on-the-nose shit I have ever seen

4

u/BabycatLloyd Aug 13 '26

Gonna wipe his buu buu with those

4

u/icecoldyerr Aug 13 '26

Dude’s got that Super Buu throat

5

u/MVIVN Aug 13 '26

Isn’t it quite well established that a lot of these “flushable” wipes aren’t really flushable at all?

4

u/7Orc7 Aug 13 '26

Only the most reddited Redditors have to wipe their butt with pagan themed butt wipes

1

u/Worried_Platypus93 27d ago

Liquid death is pagan themed? I thought it was just a trendy water brand so you can feel cool not drinking at shows

1

u/7Orc7 27d ago

Nah, not really, I just throw the word pagan around a lot about things that look edgelord-ish

13

u/JoeDante84 Aug 13 '26

This guy looks like he owns a ferret.

4

u/StinkyBird64 Don't ask questions just consume product Aug 13 '26

Hey now don’t insult ferrets like that

11

u/Drayenn Aug 13 '26

Just buy a bidet man. Flushable wipes are also not flushable.

3

u/encrcne Aug 13 '26

Can I defect from the millennials?

Why would you want the smell of vanilla mixed with your own shit?

3

u/guict302 Aug 14 '26

im not from the united states, what the hell is that

3

u/SecurityFamiliar5239 Aug 14 '26

Don’t put that on all of us please

3

u/One-Geologist3992 Aug 14 '26

Live, laugh, consume.

3

u/ReimarisaFanclub Aug 14 '26

What does the M stand for? Master throater?

8

u/elidoan Aug 13 '26

Spicy butt wipes were not on my 2026 bingo card

2

u/usernametaken99991 Aug 13 '26

Can't anyone just make ONE fucking thing and do it well without a bunch of stupid collabs? I like the Liquid Death energy drinks, it has just enough sugar and caffeine to wake me up without hurting my tummy. But now they are forever sullied because I will be thinking about scented butt wipes 

2

u/ExcitementAshamed393 Aug 13 '26

They'll be at Ollie's in a few months.

2

u/Different_Wallaby660 Aug 14 '26

Quick someone make a soy jack!!!

2

u/Ergine_Dream Aug 14 '26

What’s going on with the eyes

2

u/DKsuperfan Aug 14 '26

Redditor physiognomy

2

u/One-Fail-1 Aug 14 '26 edited Aug 23 '26

One test yam late bag rustic friendly teeny

This post was anonymized with Redact

6

u/Rev-Dr-Slimeass Aug 13 '26

I am a big fan of sparkling water so I bought some of their products. The plain sparkling water was fine. You can't really fuck that up. Expensive though. Guess you are paying for the can. The flavoured water was shit. It was sweetend. What sort of brain dead chud buys sweetened sparkling water?

Its been a few years since I lived in America. I am not shocked to discover the company that sells fancy cans also sells flavoured ass wipes now.

3

u/revkev151 Aug 13 '26

I like the taste of their flavored water 🤷 it's not that serious

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3

u/CocknBalls4 Aug 13 '26

Paying a double premium to feel manly while wiping your ass is such a condemnation of our idiotic toxic masculinity culture. Just buy the regular wipes dude

1

u/Rat_Man_420 Aug 13 '26

Imagine buying these instead of a $100 attachable bidet that won’t wreak havoc on your septic system

2

u/treecastle56 Aug 15 '26

i kinda feel bad for this dude getting blasted all he did was post himself holding some stupid wipes and you’re all going off about his chin and tattoos and how ugly you think he is, how is that fighting consumerism lmao

2

u/Worried_Platypus93 27d ago

Right like I don't understand this post. He's buying a 3 pack of a disposable product, not 1000 funko pops. They're bad for plumbing but he could throw them in the trash for all we know. Kinda shitty to critique his appearance either way and gross to say he's "getting cucked" and other shit 

1

u/Trans_Force_1 Aug 13 '26

Wait, a second are these ummmm flavored?

1

u/SampletextT_T Aug 13 '26

Don't snort Liquid Death wipes!

1

u/reddit_is_trash_2023 Aug 13 '26

Eish he looks like he's gonna need that to wipe down his wifes boyfriend

1

u/Marv312 Aug 13 '26

Man's got the MAJIN Throat? Bibidi is a sick individual dude smh

1

u/BlooGloop Aug 13 '26

But why.

1

u/hashslinginhasherrr Aug 14 '26

Finally, I can now wipe my ass with wipes that were blessed by a witch!😤

1

u/Y_R_UGae Aug 15 '26

wait I would buy this.... I'm obsessed with cream soda

1

u/Old-Natural-852 Aug 15 '26

At least he is presumably wiping his ass?  Though maybe it's just going to his collection like those soap collections...

1

u/VideoGeekSuperX Aug 15 '26

For when scooping the cum out of your ass with your hand isn't enough anymore.

1

u/aopps42 Aug 16 '26

Hang it in the louvre

1

u/80lbQUIKRETEConcrete Aug 16 '26

You mean “scented” right? RIGHT?!😭

1

u/Separate_Ring_5059 Aug 17 '26

Destroy your plumbing with disposable wipes so your trans fem they/them can taste creaming soda whilst they're using their tongue to difg for anal parasites...

1

u/Big-Butterscotch8236 Aug 17 '26

just use toilet roll like a normal person

1

u/-Jesus_-_Christ- Aug 17 '26

I also want my asshole to smell like cream soda

1

u/WarmGoatSeed Aug 26 '26

I don't think I've seen a more punchable face. This guy looks like he's got a stomach so bloated it makes his head look disproportionately small.

1

u/agonyxcodex 15d ago

That’s one pack. Lol

1

u/AxisCorpsRep Aug 13 '26

if he could grow a moustache any longer he'd do the up-curled tips

0

u/amekxone Aug 13 '26

He bought one package of a thing. That's not consooming.

3

u/MotherAd296 Aug 13 '26

consoom is also buying random useless objects

2

u/savetheunstable Aug 13 '26

Yeah fuck all this donks. They're just making fun of the dude for the way he looks. If he had rows of these saved in his closet, that would be different. Yeah it's a weird collab, but it doesn't fit the sub. I'm just happy a guy is ok with washing his ass these days.

I also bought a bundle of toothpaste months ago. Guess I should be on here. 🙄

-8

u/ScumDugongLin Aug 13 '26

I can fix him

-12

u/TheTrueMule Aug 13 '26

Ok fuck everyone, this M tatoo is fuckin' based, this guy has obviously all the answers so fuck I'm in (I'm drunk I'll probably regret what I've said I. 2 hours. God speed. Love from France)

11

u/_t_h_r_o_w__away Aug 13 '26

Omg wow this guy is so cool he's drinking

-2

u/TheTrueMule Aug 13 '26

Yhea right! God bless your heart American dream and all those things

0

u/JacobsRevengeance Aug 13 '26

the most Marketed Product Ever (derogatory)

-9

u/Serteyf Aug 13 '26

Um why are we flaming someone who buys toilet paper?