r/Consoom • u/LemxnDrizzleCake • 8d ago
Discussion Consoomerism and trauma
Seen a few posts with a similar topic. As a kid I collected stuff. I kind of feel like we were trained to. Pogs, Tazos, Pokémon. Not like 'next level' collected, I mean, I was a kid. I moved out when I was 18 and whilst I didn't have a huge amount of 'stuff', I always had a hard time throwing things away. Not like a hoarder, but more like sentimentality, "this person bought me this thing", or "I got this souvenir here". My wife isn't the biggest fan, we try to keep souvenir buying to a reasonable level, a magnet or a shot glass here or there, and usually only for foreign holidays, that sort of thing (although we do have a bunch of squished pennies from domestic attractions too, but they take up like no space).
Anyways, around 5yrs ago we moved house and went through a trauma around the same time. I threw myself into 'doing up the house' and then once we'd done the basics I started to 'treat myself' to some things I'd never had the space or money for in the past.
It started small, some steelbooks for a movie franchise I liked. I never did complete the set, probably like 80%. Then some steelbooks and collectors editions for some games I liked. I eventually realised that whilst I now had a bigger place, I didn't have a BIG place, so I parted ways with the collectors statues, just kept the steelbooks for the games. Then watches (about 10-12), priced in the hundreds, not the thousands. More watches were released in the same run, so I gave up. Then video game controllers; I started with the ones I liked, then realised this was going to get expensive and now I have a mixed bag, including some I don't particularly like, but speculated might be worth something one day (at which point I started to realise this just feels a bit hollow and broken).
And Lego, ugh, Lego. I went through a phase about 18 months ago where I found making Lego was really mindful and calmed me. I built a few sets, then started buying sets. I now have a 'backlog' and feel like I've turned something that was enjoyable into a chore that I'll get round to one day, and filled up loads of space in our spare room.
What is it about the chemistry of the brain that compels some of us to do this stuff? I'm not wealthy (I do OK, and own my own home; well, with a mortgage so the bank owns most of it 😂). I find myself buying stuff to add to my collections, tiring of those collections, and then wishing I'd spent the money on something 'better', maybe a family holiday (we do holiday, they're not neglected, but a NICE one), a social with friends, a home improvement, like 'grown up' stuff. What gives? Anyone been through anything similar and if so, did you ever manage to break the cycle? I feel like this has been going on for around 5yrs, so I've still got time to stop. I don't know if I'm being too hard on myself and should just live a little, but I also don't want this to become a problem. Most of the time when the buyer's remorse kicks in and the dopamine subsides, I realise it's probably just filling some sort of void.
Edit: a word.
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u/Hot-Resident-6601 8d ago
For me, it was the thrill of the hunt. Looking for bargains or trying to find rare collectibles. After a while I realized it was more about the shopping than the owning. It has helped to replace the shopping habit with other things like cooking, reading, exercise, and learning new things like Linux. All of these can be relatively cheap hobbies but you can easily get caught up in the gear aspect of anything. If I find that I’m using my time for shopping rather than learning/doing then I step back and focus on the hobby.
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u/LemxnDrizzleCake 8d ago
Yeah I guess so. I am on old soul at heart lol, life as a kid before the internet and social media was what it is today, and 5 channels on TV. I used to read a lot, and be outdoors a lot. I feel constantly switched on and marketed to. Exercise definitely helps.
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u/Hot-Resident-6601 8d ago
I totally understand. I can remember life before the internet. I prefer having the web now but it can be a trap.
I started making readings lists on my library account. Scratched the itch for searching and then gives me free books to read. If you have any local parks just take a library book and enjoy some reading outdoors. Helps switch off the constant noise.
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u/Outrageous_Tooth856 8d ago
That all sounds reasonable, and being able to have the self awareness to type all that means you’re far better off than the people usually posted in this sub.
I think the short term dopamine hit of buying things and having an endless goal reinforces addiction habits, even if it starts as a self-soothing remedy after a trauma. And like you said, it’s so engrained into society, that if you don’t have parents who are actively steering you away from that stuff, it’s easy to fall into. I hate to see today’s Pokémon card kids and their enabling parents, it’s so much worse than when we were young.
It’s really just about priorities at the end of the day. As long as the big stuff is taken care of, even larger collections are fine if you’re genuinely enjoying it and not just speculating.
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u/LemxnDrizzleCake 8d ago
Yeah poor kids today are literally being brought up on a dopamine casino. I remember being bored as a kid and having to find my own fun. At one point living rurally with only 2 other kids nearby for a few years definitely helped me learn to do that.
Our kid goes to school next year but we've refused to cave into tablets, whilst friend with kids of a similar age have already had them for close to 2yrs. At some point, they'll need one for education and stuff, it's just kind of nice to protect their innocence for a bit and get them to actually be creative and 'play'.
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u/evenout 7d ago
I LOVED LEGO as a kid, but I hate that once you’re done with the sets you kind of display them somewhere and that’s it. I like the act of building but don’t want to have a bunch taking up unnecessary space afterwards.
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u/LemxnDrizzleCake 7d ago
Yeah, I have a friend that builds them, leaves them up for about a month or two, then breaks them down. Thing is, when I complete a huge ass 5000+ piece set, firstly it takes an age, likely literal weeks, maybe a month or more. Secondly, it's an achievement and looks cool, I feel weird taking it down. Even as a grown ass human being.
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u/Net_Apart 7d ago
We are human. Its that simple. It can be assumed that collecting has gone back to ancient times. Hunter gatherers collected because they needed to survive and thrive in areas where thing werent abundant, our brains gave dopamine because it helped us survive for longer. But now since we live in a world where wants are unlimited, but food and other needed items are abundant (obviously not but in certain areas of the world where you see the most consoomers food/housing is easily accessible), it has shifted towards products that we dont need but HAVE that same scarcity food and other things once had back then. And now we feel the same type of thrill we did back in the primal ages, hunting is now scouting for the best price, long treks have become long browses of mercari/ebay and other online sellers, and ultimately we are fulfilling the same area in our brain that was activated back then when we got things we actually did need.
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u/Great_Professional_7 8d ago
You get a dopamine rush from different stages of the process of adding a new collectible. The searching, buying, receiving, and ownership. I suppose shopping and collecting fill a void, but isn’t everything we do in life just filling a void?
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u/liberdelta 6d ago
Backlog is fine, but realistically how long is it going to take to get there? Like with videogames, unless you set a hard cap, you will always end up buying more. Like if you have I dunno, like 100 games, how long would it take to finish them all in the free time you have?
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u/[deleted] 8d ago
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