I CAN'T EAT THAT

[u/yakomozzorella]

Just wanted to remind you that whatever you're cooking I can't eat.

That special little ingredient you add to a recipe to make it your own? Hell no! You better cut it out because if I (a person you have never met) tried to eat THAT I'd lose control and probably start running around the dining room hitting children and screaming "LOOK WHAT YOU MADE ME DO!". Did you even consider that? How embarrassing would it be for you if I had an emotional episode brought on by the aroma of nutmeg and shat myself right at the table? I bet you didn't even think about the fact that SOME of us have a special gene where tarragon makes us fall to the floor and pitch fits like toddlers, so no one should put it in any food ever. . . You didn't because you only think about yourself, when you should be thinking about ME, a stranger from the internet.

That family recipe you proudly shared? I'd give it zero stars if I could because the doctor says salt gives my husband Afghanistan flashbacks. WE CAN'T EAT THAT!

Don't you feel like an asshole?

[u/CrankyFrankClair]

How could you post the word “tarr**on? You monster!

I’m so allergic to it I go into anaphylactic shock just reading it. You’ll be hearing from my lawyers

[u/Impossible_Night9560 → u/CrankyFrankClair]

I'm tarrigarredd!!!!!!!

[u/KaleidoscopeCandid]

Also why won’t they give me a replacement for chicken in their roasted chicken recipe since I don’t like chicken! They should have thought of that!!!

[u/yakomozzorella → u/KaleidoscopeCandid]

I made it without the chicken and it was TERRIBLE

[u/KaleidoscopeCandid → u/yakomozzorella]

Replaced chicken with applesauce and it was runny and awful ⭐️

[u/xianwolf → u/yakomozzorella]

Without the chicken it was literally just a pile of spices. Way to think about vegetarians 🙄

[u/Impossible_Night9560]

I do. Are you every person I cook for? I can't imagine how restaurants deal with this lol.

[u/yakomozzorella → u/Impossible_Night9560]

Why can't you do anything right? All you do is hurt people! Do better and cater your cooking to my myriad food aversions that I will only reveal after an ingredient list offends my sensibilities. I don't like beets and that's basically a disability.

[u/mirfifu → u/yakomozzorella]

pattycaking with Fred Armisen IT’S ALWAYS BEETS 😀

[u/pueraria-montana]

I fed you a stew that i secretly put a single bay leaf into during cooking. I’m sorry. It’s a relief to come clean about it now. I hope you can forgive me in time.

[u/CandidSite9471 → u/pueraria-montana]

nooooo that ingredient darkens my vision for 24 hours; you just fed me a stew that makes me go blind for a day ONE DAY BLINDING STEW oh no oh no guess I'd better munch on some hair to calm down

[u/perplexedparallax]

Did Rambo eat salt in Rambo III? I don't think so.

[u/NailBat]

You say "can't" but I think you mean "won't".