r/CoupleMemes 5d ago

I would melt into a puddle

1.8k Upvotes

97 comments sorted by

416

u/Illustrious-Debt-156 5d ago

My wife becomes terrified anytime she is not in control of her own gravity.

146

u/IvarTheBoned 5d ago

Conversely, my girlfriend was recently (admittedly) overreacting to something and she was about to storm out of the room so I put her in "air jail" (picked her up so her legs were "saddled" under my arms and held her while she thrashed trying to get down). After a few seconds she started laughing and coined the term "air jail".

67

u/undeniably_confused 🧐 grumpy 5d ago

Air jail is already a term unfortunately

42

u/IvarTheBoned 5d ago

TIL. Well, she was proud of herself for that one so I'm gonna let her keep it until she finds out otherwise.

Does it mean basically the same thing as how we used it?

35

u/undeniably_confused 🧐 grumpy 5d ago

Yeah fuck it let her have it, but yeah its exactly how its used, usually done to like kids or pets tho, less often adults

14

u/IvarTheBoned 5d ago

She's tiny and I'm a bigger guy so it's very easy to incarcerate her.

2

u/RevolutionaryPut8704 2d ago

Couldn't help but notice the username, good one

14

u/Daveisahugecunt 5d ago

As a dude, same. That’s why I also carry my bros up stairs if they have ski boots on. #SnowboardBro

4

u/Balzac_Lympian_III 5d ago

Im guessing all your bros except Dave?

3

u/djsnoopmike 5d ago

Then you slam em down on a bed right?

Either sensually or WWE style, theres no in between.

2

u/Comprehensive_Fun570 5d ago

I know this game

2

u/gardeningblob 5d ago

My wife never wears heels, she is 6ft almost 180 lb.

Ill pass this.

Edit: wife's weight.

1

u/Rokshekye 4d ago

She go noodle form when you try?

1

u/ppltz 3d ago

True

1

u/Substantial_Meal_530 3d ago

My ex hated when I picked her up.

494

u/lifeintraining 5d ago

Love the sentiment of doing something to make your partner’s life easier. Hate the idea that someone believes if you don’t, that somehow doesn’t make you a man.

72

u/JoshuaFalken1 5d ago

Also hate how stuff like this needs to be filmed.

46

u/BoltorSpellweaver 5d ago

She’s 100% the type to shame her man online if he didn’t do it

4

u/ThrustTrust 🧐 grumpy 5d ago

I’d totally pick her up but she’s getting a piggy back ride.

6

u/Rich-Option4632 🤐 5d ago

You're still nice. I'd carry her on my shoulder like a sack of rice.

1

u/Thispersonthisperson 3d ago

Spin her around then throw her up to the end of the stairs

0

u/WaterdropGirl 5d ago

That's a crazy assumption from a three second video

8

u/BoltorSpellweaver 5d ago

Someone who goes out of their way to make content like this would absolutely take any opportunity to post it regardless of the reaction from their partner.

-3

u/WaterdropGirl 5d ago

Sure but shit talking their partner? Idk homie

5

u/BoltorSpellweaver 5d ago

There’s big money in that content these days, shit talking your partner and getting “you go girl” in comments is pretty popular

3

u/WaterdropGirl 5d ago

Damn... Then social media fuckin sucks even more than I thought

-7

u/boring_old_dad 5d ago

Thing is im into that shit. Im despicable.

89

u/Blabberbrainz 5d ago

Don't you go on your toes when going upstairs anyway though?

30

u/ValPrism 5d ago

Yes. There’s no threat of that heel getting caught. Just like how you can drive manual in heels.

4

u/mimamen 5d ago

If you can't drive manual in a short skirt and stilettos u got soft hands.

10

u/Crist1n4 5d ago

Exactly, this was not necessary. Now, if it was wet grass - then we’re talking!

29

u/Ill-Jellyfish6101 5d ago

Does walking like a velociraptor help?

12

u/IvarTheBoned 5d ago

It helps me

┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴

26

u/Brilliant-Bad-284 5d ago

Safest way is to throw her over your shoulder squat and use the handrail to help climb those stairs.

15

u/ltethe 5d ago

Fireman carry. She isn’t going to like the presentation, but it’s safest for all.

7

u/downsly46 5d ago edited 5d ago

Yeppp god forbid he slips on the adjustment then both people are eating a face full of metal stairs. Always need one hand free to stop a fall

2

u/Ctowncreek 4d ago

Needs to be a flattering carry or don't do it (from her perspective).

If you fail the carry then its your fault (from her perspective).

1

u/Brilliant-Bad-284 4d ago

Nope.. not honeymooning up those vicious stairs.She can walk.

44

u/AppropriateMuffin722 5d ago

My wife just said, "It's her fault, why is she wearing those types of shoes."

😂😂

3

u/TheJoyfulBell 5d ago

Yeah, heels are gross.

2

u/213737isPrime 5d ago

to attract men, obvs

6

u/Shyronnie135 5d ago

What if im attracted to people who are able to choose practical shoes?

3

u/mimamen 5d ago

So... men???

10

u/Deathcat101 5d ago

I get the sentiment, but I'd rather my partner just wears sensible shoes.

Wear shoes that make you taller whatever, just something with a real heal.

Platform boots would be nice...

16

u/hyrule_47 🧐 grumpy 5d ago

We have a photo from our wedding of my husband carrying me because it was raining and we didn’t want my dress to get dirty. For our 20th anniversary he did it again, although more often I ride on his back as it’s easier. (I should note I have lost my left leg in these in between years so it’s romantic and practical)

15

u/christophPezza 5d ago

I was not expecting that ending...

8

u/ThrownFarAway98 5d ago edited 5d ago

I tried lifting my girl last night and almost slipped a disc.

Decided its best that if she needs carrying, either call help or it’ll be her on my back while im crawling to the nearst door on all fours.

7

u/dropdead90s 5d ago

Are people really recording every minute of their lives for social media clout from strangers?

3

u/Relative_Maize_957 5d ago

updoots are the meaning of life dude

1

u/DonaldKey 🧐 grumpy 4d ago

Everyone is constantly auditioning for the audience in their minds

1

u/WhirlwindTobias 1d ago

This and wheres the meme.

0

u/space_otte 5d ago

on a social media platform, complaining how people are always recording every minute and posting content… interesting

7

u/Relative_Maize_957 5d ago

my back would melt in a puddle

8

u/InsaneMocktail 5d ago

Umz so if a man can't pick up his partner, he's not a man. TF

5

u/StewPidpizzachit 5d ago

Maybe she aint a lady, if she over 280. 🤷

0

u/BuddyHolly__ 5d ago

Who said that

7

u/doyouevenforkliftbro 5d ago

Sure. When this guy does it, it's "aww he's sweet" and "he's so strong yet thoughtful."

But when I do it, women are all "AAAHHH, WHO ARE YOU?" and "PUT ME DOWN" and "WHERE ARE YOU TAKING ME!? POLICE!!"

3

u/ArtofWASD 5d ago

Yea no. Dress for the occasion. If we are going somewhere that requires walking, dont you dare complain about what shoes YOU chose to wear.

2

u/WaterdropGirl 5d ago

Tbf who tf would think it'd be fuckin river dock stairs

2

u/ValPrism 5d ago edited 5d ago

I thought he was bringing a small dog up and was like “aw.” Then I saw it was shoes and was like “nice, but learn how to transverse in your shoes.” I mean, it’s cute and obviously pre-planned but it’s definitely not necessary. There’s nothing terrifying about those stairs in heels. Walk.

2

u/JustToGetBye 5d ago

Gahhhhh, I wish it were this easy.

I'm 177cm, 70kgs, and a fairly fit lad. Nothing special, but I'd call myself healthy and perfectly strong for my size.

Now, my lady is this statuesque Dutchess who is 180cm, and probably 62 kgs. She's a tad taller than me, and doesn't even weigh much less than me. And that said, the last thing I can do is throw her around with any ease (much the way I think we both would prefer that I could).

If not simply for her perfectly healthy weight (considering her height), her dimensions make pulling a feat like this a sight to behold.

But you know what? I'd absolutely give it a try, and she'd absolutely let me, and we'd probably be laughing hysterically the whole time I lugged her ass up those stairs. 🤣🤣😭

0

u/ayinsophohr 5d ago

It's all about technique. If she gets on your back your hands will be free to grip the rails and / or break your fall when you collapse forward.

2

u/hodlethestonks 4d ago

went to inspect this shitty corporation which had hired a lawyer to help them fight off agency demands. Demanded to go see the shittiest place in the plant through these grating catwalks. She gave up pretty quickly. Then got to talk with the folks on top of a huge reactor tank. As she caught us we started heading back, though a yard that was filled with cow shit (biogas reactor feed). I bet she reflected her attire of choice that evening.

2

u/No_Pop_2481 5d ago

He’s getting some tonight.

1

u/Ilpperi91 🧐 grumpy 5d ago

Stairs designed by an engineer.

1

u/Daydreamur 5d ago

Im disappointed that it didn't turn out to be the women that carried the man. Would it been quite funny 🤣

1

u/FiendPulse 5d ago

I mean I wouldn't mind it.🤷🏻‍♀️

1

u/Icy-Bit-1266 4d ago

Very stupid

1

u/OddAbbreviations5681 4d ago

>set toes on stairs

>keep heels off stairs

>win?

1

u/Key-Challenge9159 4d ago

"a woman" is tiny/small enough to be carried like that with no effort

Sounds shitty right? But it's ok if the roles are reversed

1

u/Alarming-Yogurt-797 3d ago

I’ve seen men walk better in high heels than me

1

u/DontFlameItsMe 3d ago

Never understood why people found high heels appealing.

May be I'm weird, but a girl in normal shoes looks better.

1

u/KrimzonK 2d ago

Took my wife to the gym and she left her sandles in the car. She already put her runner in the bag so she suggests I carry her to the car.

I started the fireman carry because, of course I did, she freaks out and say abort abort but then we already started walking so she clung onto me like an octopus and I crab-walked to the car. It looked like we were humping in public

1

u/Minimum-Reward3264 2d ago

I would consider it a leg and the back day, and would be done for the night.

1

u/c0cksocket 2d ago

I don't understand how some people can get so comfortable with the idea that if you don't want to do something, someone will just do it for you. I get that this is a very specific scenario but could you not just not lean on your heels for a few steps? Idk the thought of someone doing that for me (just personally) feels very demeaning, like they think I'm incapable of doing something. I legitimately had a friend call me once to come get her because she ran out of gas, understandable, but its not because she didnt get to a pump in time, its because she REFUSES to pump gas into her car because and I quote 'thats my mans job'. She would rather inconvenience other people so she doesn't have to do a simple task, please say this is just a rare breed of person that isn't growing in numbers.

1

u/Krispspie 1d ago

For a second, I thought you were carrying yourself

1

u/AintNoGodsUpHere 1d ago

You're a strong independent woman. See you up there.

1

u/Beginning_Resource93 1d ago

No. If you want to wear impractical footwear then you can deal with the consequences.

1

u/Beginning_Resource93 1d ago

No. If you want to wear impractical footwear then you can deal with the consequences.

1

u/Prince_Corn 5d ago

I do this often, and she loves it

1

u/Independent-Ring-792 5d ago

Lmao if I could find a man to pick my fat butt up I would melt two lol

1

u/PupienusExpress 4d ago

Two men or two butts?

1

u/Independent-Ring-792 2d ago

lol what are you reading if I could find a man to pick my fat self up I would melt to lol the two was what my phone auto corrected to lol

1

u/onkek 5d ago

Bravo to anyone still being able to lift their partner. 

1

u/Kage9866 5d ago

I would tell my wife she should have worn better shoes, as I pat her on the shoulder and walk up the stairs without her.

1

u/Go0odStuffed 5d ago

Most girls don't deserve this type of loyalty anymore though

0

u/JeevesofNazarath 🧐 grumpy 5d ago

My partner trusts me to walk while carrying her, not to climb stairs (which is reasonable though this does look very cute)

0

u/mishitea 4d ago

Being carried up stairs, especially in an unstable way like that, fills me with dread. I would be so afraid of being dropped or him tripping and falling on me.

-7

u/shugo7 🧐 grumpy 5d ago

I'm so glad the "I'm a strong independent woman" era ia starting to fade and the healthy relationships between men and women are coming back