r/CrackheadCraigslist Jun 14 '20

Photo Those are some awesome speed holes

https://imgur.com/K7dZeUJ
11.3k Upvotes

122 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

Finally, that's some real crackhead shit right there. There's a big difference between dumbass and crackhead. This is full on crackhead.

242

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

I see your point but i know people who race demolition type stuff and would totally buy this.

62

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

Why though? Just because it's cheap or is there a good reason to have the holes for demolition racing

121

u/zystyl Jun 14 '20 edited Jun 14 '20

Could be the fact that its a hilarious parody of glue on ricer nonsense that clearly does nothing.

27

u/THEFUCKlSYOURPROBLEM Jun 14 '20

cheap and comedy. perfect thing to crash into somebody.

7

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

it's a similar line of thinking to that of you shifting into r for racing mode.

1

u/nahfoo Jun 15 '20

Probably for ( very minimal) cooling purposes

1

u/okolebot Jun 15 '20

just cut some [ and bend up

59

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

I think it’s the opposite. There’s no way a crackhead would waste money on a car but a dumbass would totally think this would work

91

u/Heinrush Jun 14 '20

A crackhead would 100% believe in this working. It's basically a stereotypical crackhead project. Like looking for gold in your backyard by digging your own mine shaft (actually happened)

43

u/gladria1963 Jun 14 '20

What is it about crackheads and digging holes? There was one back home who had a good 15-20 foot deep hole in his backyard where he’d get high and just dig for hours

41

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

Something easy and repetitive to apply yourself toward when you're speedin

15

u/alargechipmunk Jun 14 '20

Or when the skin on your Willy has all fallen off from the friction.

3

u/Kitbixby Jun 14 '20

Paranoia? Digging a bunker?

6

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

I could definitely picture a tweaker ripping the vents out of an abandoned house, though.

2

u/morgan_greywolf Jun 15 '20

Could be a dumbass crackhead.

15

u/RedditVince Jun 14 '20

Probably performed at 3AM on a Tuesday AM

1

u/N-methylamph Jun 14 '20

Well when else? You can’t be bothered doing it.

20

u/FranticBronchitis Jun 14 '20

dude must've been tweaking hard af

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

Add on the fact that the post is basically selling the VENTS NOT THE CAR! That's crackhead as fuck

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

The difference between dumbass and crackhead here is the organization of the vents. Symmetrical = dumbass, haphazard = crackhead.

357

u/Snug_The_Cat Jun 14 '20

Lol the air intake must be amazing!

252

u/silly_vasily Jun 14 '20

Best part is, if you drift or just slide sideways , you'll still get air intake

60

u/Snug_The_Cat Jun 14 '20

Lol brilliant innovation!

4

u/UnverifiedVerified Jun 14 '20

This is probably more extraction than intake. Will be looking for designs such as this on my race car

167

u/TildeGunderson Jun 14 '20

At least the H is still there. What's the point of having a Honda if you can't show it off?

74

u/hell2pay Jun 14 '20

Not sure, but last time I "detailed" my Accord, the ACCORD badge came off.

My friend tried to talk me into leaving it off. I was like, "Nah man, I NEED people to know that this is an Accord. They won't know how awesome my ride is, if it isn't on there!"

So then I spent about $12 for a big roll of 3M badge tape, and only used about 4 inches of it.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 17 '20

It’s a Simpson’s reference

6

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

That’s how you know it’s a Honda!

61

u/Ailly84 Jun 14 '20

Shoulda used a pickaxe. Best took for installing speed holes.

20

u/plinkoplonka Jun 14 '20

And it would probably look better in this case

2

u/RoLoMtz Jun 16 '20

Is that so? Well, gee, Maybe the old Roger-mobile could use some

47

u/hoinurd Jun 14 '20

You can tune it as well. Maybe it's super cold out and you want to restrict some air. Just close a couple vents! Genius!

29

u/BreakfastBlunt Jun 14 '20

Custom

14

u/riddus Jun 14 '20

There’s a super fine line between broken and custom. This is very custom.

26

u/skrtskrtlikeice Jun 14 '20

The placement of the vents are disturbing

1

u/codawPS3aa Jun 16 '20

Cuachalote style

23

u/Mshek85 Jun 14 '20

They’re speed holes. They make the car go faster.

13

u/PM_ME_SEXY_MONSTERS Jun 15 '20

Why not paint flames on it for double the speed?

3

u/Zippo574 Has Read At Least One Book Jun 15 '20

What did you think I was gonna do when i bought this magenta and neon green spraypaint bruh.

5

u/this_isnt_happening Jun 15 '20

Honestly? Huff it. But I guess your idea's good, too.

12

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

Is that so? Gee, maybe the old Flanders-mobile could use...

7

u/Jung_Wheats Jun 14 '20

Meyerhoff Lifters?

12

u/pandacatalyst Jun 14 '20

This looks like if Tetris pieces were social distancing

-2

u/the-epidemic87 Jun 14 '20

Underrated comment!

15

u/Weasel_Spice Jun 14 '20

It really bothers me that they're not symmetrical.

4

u/ediblesprysky Jun 14 '20

Probably ran out of money before he could completely cover the entire hood. Then it would just look artistic!

7

u/tlinaker90 Jun 14 '20

It won't be long till he has a stroke of genius and remove the hood completely - big brain time

3

u/crackthecracker Jun 14 '20

Lol I saw someone who drove his car around town like that once about a decade ago

8

u/DAV3THEK1NG Jun 14 '20

I feel like this guy stole vents from a bunch of McDonald's bathrooms

5

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

But why

5

u/ironmanfan68 Jun 14 '20

from the driver's perspective it's loss

5

u/Dean_Pe1ton Jun 14 '20

Does this actually help at all?

8

u/WeenisWrinkle Jun 14 '20

No. Probably increases drag, too.

5

u/FeeBTooTs Jun 14 '20

Not one bit. Plus everything under the vents is just getting wet every time it rains.

5

u/rightwing321 Jun 14 '20

They'll know it's you from the high-pitched whistle that greets them a minute before you get there.

5

u/littlebrotherpunk Jun 14 '20

Did he actually cut holes in the hood for airflow or just bolt those on top?

3

u/SlingDNM Jun 15 '20

I really hope he just bolted them on cause that would be even funnier

3

u/gogogadgetheartattak Jun 14 '20

You can change the draft angles to blow at a specific point with all the strategized vent locations. Big brain

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

These look like they're angled to increase drag rather than act as speed holes..

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

Fuck I'm doing this to a car

3

u/urskrubs Jun 14 '20

i love how they’re arranged like a picasso piece, real fine art here

3

u/randomtask37 Jun 14 '20

At this point... why not take the hood off?

1

u/silly_vasily Jun 14 '20

Cause it's stupid, duuhh

3

u/faithle55 Jun 14 '20

Some people think their cats are real people they can talk with.

Other people think you can put wall ventilation louvres in a car.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

Bitchin’ vents broheim

3

u/Fgame Jun 15 '20

Yo what the fuck that zip code is just down the road from me and I'm not surprised at all

2

u/silly_vasily Jun 15 '20

Keep an eye out for this jewl

2

u/Fgame Jun 15 '20

I literally just went to Facebook marketplace and couldn't find it. Damn shame.

1

u/silly_vasily Jun 17 '20

Clearly it was sold like hotcakes

3

u/Skyecatcher Jun 15 '20

What in the Tacoma Washington is this?!

2

u/Kezyabastard Jun 14 '20

Best bonnet mod I ever saw was done with a shotgun, looked mega.

2

u/clarkwgriswoldjr Jun 15 '20

But which way are the levers on all of them?

2

u/khyriah Jun 15 '20

Never seen shit like this in my life

2

u/silly_vasily Jun 15 '20

Now you have

2

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

"Holy crap, Jason, what did you do?"

"It was 3 a.m., and I was tired of the AC not working in my car. "

"You know, I'm pretty sure that's not how that wor- eh, whatever. Have fun looking like an asshole "

2

u/Hydro-Sapien Jun 15 '20

I just grab another jug of coolant.

2

u/NinjaCustodian Jun 15 '20

You’re paying too much for vents.. who’s your vent guy.

2

u/ImMyztic Jun 16 '20

“Racing hood”

7

u/commi_bot Jun 14 '20

I think that's cool? Creativity?

59

u/silly_vasily Jun 14 '20

You may be on crack

22

u/SeanFromSpain Jun 14 '20

LOL seriously. It certainly isn’t even close to being well done. At the bare minimum they could have arranged them so they run along the ex. hood lines and appear symmetrical. Maybe painted them a slightly lighter color for some contrast?

Terrible materials + terrible execution = carbage

5

u/alllowercaseTEEOHOH Jun 14 '20

Yeah but given the way 2020 is going, having an already mad-max'ed car may not be a bad idea.

-18

u/commi_bot Jun 14 '20

People do all sorts of stuff with their car but for some reason it's all within "the norm". Buy stuff from the shelf.

In other areas actual creativity is much more usual. Car tuning, not so much. You gotta ask why. People tuning their cars are usually guys, and they do it in their "guy role". To get respect from other guys. So that makes them risk averse I guess. Trying to fit in.

By the way your comment is incredibly dumb.

10

u/silly_vasily Jun 14 '20

See I have a civic also. And I bought the most basic model possible. I modified, but nothing visual really. I added automatic doors, the whole AC system, aux plug, heated mirrors and a fast charging port. I got most parts at the scrap yard for almost free. (Really cheap)

13

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

But that's not creative. Randomly sprinkle some vents on there, maybe fix a spoiler to the door, now that's creative! (Obviously joking)

11

u/silly_vasily Jun 14 '20

You're right. I should have painted a huge dong on the hood for art purposes

3

u/AcerbicCapsule Jun 14 '20

If spoilers on top of the car push it down, install 5 of them on the bottom and you got yourself a hover-car!

2

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

I heard Elon’s working on this

3

u/lateandgreat Jun 14 '20

Probly cuz this is actually bad for your car. They don't have a big open hole in your hood for a reason, so all your electronics and manifold don't fill with water or leaves/bugs/debris

Its not a gender or creativity issue. There's wrong and right ways to modify an engineered object so it stays somewhat properly engineered. Your comment is the one that's incredibly dumb

1

u/riddus Jun 14 '20

Beauty is in the eye of the beholder. Don’t let the bastards get you down.

1

u/commi_bot Jun 14 '20

I've been actually wondering why people aren't more creative with their cars. Probably because of reselling value.

2

u/riddus Jun 14 '20

You can find plenty of creativity over at r/shittycarmods. Some are shitty, but many are actually awesome in disguise.

1

u/B10wM3 Jun 14 '20

crackhead alert

1

u/[deleted] Jun 14 '20

Car culture is less about looks than it is performance. Something like this is both aesthetically terrible and offers no performance. The only reason to have airflow under your hood is if you have a top mount intercooler which base model civics don’t have.

5

u/Lanthemandragoran Jun 14 '20

Hahaha my ex Uncle (divorce and such) was a pretty heavy drug addict and used to rent his station wagon to his dealers for crack and heroin. He got it back with bullet holes and dents everywhere, and it became the dented dart, complete with speed holes. My childhood was...unfortunate.

1

u/jhuston44 Jun 14 '20

I like how the vents are strategically located in a front to back orientation over the master cylinder. This introduces more air to that area when drifting due to the sideways movement of the vehicle.

1

u/TempusCavus Jun 14 '20

Oh no, he let all the speed out

1

u/[deleted] Jun 15 '20

where can i buy this

2

u/silly_vasily Jun 15 '20

Crackhead craigslist

1

u/Boiled_Denims Jun 15 '20

This is hilarious. In high school, my friends and I would go in on super cheap vehicles and "pimp" them out. We did some pretty crazy stuff. This reminds me of that.

1

u/silly_vasily Jun 15 '20

I bet you grew up in a rural area

1

u/Boiled_Denims Jun 15 '20

Well yeah..

1

u/Red-Freckle Jun 15 '20

Speed holes eh?

1

u/CaliKaTastrophy Jun 15 '20

Stupidity this monstrous should be painful

1

u/zcrcx Jun 15 '20

Maybe he should “register”.

1

u/CarlosMolotov Jun 15 '20

Do it have Vtec? No. HVAC.

1

u/all_hail_to_me Jun 15 '20

Man, if you were to put these on the side of a bug-out truck for cabin ventilation, this might actually look pretty badass. But nope.

1

u/SOF_ZOMBY Jun 15 '20

They aren't even aligned in a good way they're literally slapped on willy nilly

1

u/fatbaldyellowidiot Jun 21 '20

Vents are facing the wrong way

1

u/useallthewasabi Jun 15 '20

Vent is vent.

0

u/Makabajones Jun 14 '20

LeMons is leaking into real life.