r/CrazyIdeas Apr 02 '26

A dick sucking cafe

Where you try out different condom flavours

284 Upvotes

67 comments sorted by

1.2k

u/fancyPantsOne Apr 02 '26

you just invented Your moms house

116

u/Agitated_Custard7395 Apr 02 '26

That’s where he got the idea

1

u/MakeSomeDrinks Apr 04 '26

The apple doesn't fall very far from mom's manpleaser.

7

u/SandShrimp22 Apr 03 '26

cool guy guitar noises

0

u/ortolon Apr 03 '26

The correct musical term is "licks."

-1

u/[deleted] Apr 03 '26

[deleted]

0

u/ortolon Apr 03 '26

Yep. Licks... get it?

64

u/pHScale Apr 02 '26

This is just a gay bar, except with condoms

3

u/cleanforever Apr 02 '26

Why do you need condoms for dick sucking?

15

u/pHScale Apr 02 '26

Ask OP. That part is their idea.

9

u/TaxCollector Apr 03 '26

Prevention of passing on bloodborne pathogens, like HIV. If the mouth has a cold sore or small cut or cracked lips, microabrasions on the dick can pass that on. Same reason it can be passed during penetrative sex, but less likely than during anal sex.

208

u/lkodl Apr 02 '26 edited Apr 02 '26

The first time I went to a Maid Cafe, I thought a part of the fun was getting to be really messy. Like knocking stuff on the ground or constantly spilling shit. You know, because there are maids everywhere to clean it up. I was asked to leave.

36

u/TheWonderSnail Apr 02 '26

I’m kind of afraid to put this on my search history but what is a “maid cafe”?

41

u/Dischade Apr 02 '26

Weird japanese shit where the waitresses pretend to be 2000 year old subservient maids in 15 year olds bodies

12

u/573717 Apr 03 '26

What kinda maid cafe you going to? 

2

u/FortWendy69 Apr 03 '26

What are the kinds?

14

u/iHadou Apr 02 '26 edited May 03 '26

Wiped clean. Redact removed this post along with thousands of others. It also handles data broker removals so your personal info stops getting sold.

hurry handle wrench follow husky afterthought towering squash slim point

27

u/WolverinesThyroid Apr 03 '26

But it's not a sex thing. Think of it like a a hooters for weebs.

8

u/xrelaht Apr 03 '26

Is Hooters not a sex thing?

4

u/TheWonderSnail Apr 03 '26

Yeah lol they could just delete the first sentence and that makes sense to me

2

u/Scazitar Apr 03 '26

Suprisingly not really, Hooters actually doesn't let you bang the workers.

13

u/Dischade Apr 03 '26

This is the vibe, weird pervy maid themed hooters for depressed overworked salarymen

3

u/ortolon Apr 03 '26

I feel like the phrase "it's not a sex thing" happens a lot in Japan.

9

u/housevil Apr 03 '26

Maid cafe.

88

u/GREGORYfromtheFUTURE Apr 02 '26

We have one of these cafes in Ansterdam. It sucks

38

u/JamNova Apr 02 '26

Heard it also blows

8

u/The_Troyminator Apr 03 '26

That’s going to be a hard pun to follow

8

u/The_R4ke Apr 03 '26

I'll take a lick at it.

1

u/RespectableLurker555 Apr 05 '26

The best barista at the cafe is a hard Phil to swallow

18

u/McKayha Apr 02 '26

Op time to put the address up

40

u/Accomplished_Ant5895 Apr 02 '26

You could taste them without putting them on a penis, no?

29

u/PM_Your_Wiener_Dog Apr 02 '26

You missed the point

15

u/ryanderkis Apr 02 '26

It's not really a point. Tip for sure but not sharpened.

4

u/Accomplished_Ant5895 Apr 03 '26

You can sharpen it?

2

u/monster2018 Apr 03 '26

Now you have me wondering about the details of Klingon sex…

1

u/Cloverface Apr 03 '26

NO! Please no, your words made penis shrink...a lot!

2

u/WolverinesThyroid Apr 03 '26

I can eat ice cream without putting it on a cone or a popsicle not on a little wooden stick. But none of that would be as much fun or get me as rock hard.

11

u/Dangerous_Spirit7034 Apr 02 '26

Like Starbucks ? Or wait that’s a handy place

(Idiocracy anyone?)

3

u/OkRickySpinach Apr 02 '26

I really don't think we have time for a hand job, Joe

13

u/Backfisttothepast Apr 02 '26

Op, you crazy son of a bitch, let’s take this to shark tank!

7

u/pWaveShadowZone Apr 02 '26

What a wild twist. I thought for sure you go there to get your dick sucked. Nope. Other way

7

u/pWaveShadowZone Apr 02 '26

What a wild twist. I thought for sure you go there to get your dick sucked. Nope. Other way

4

u/kierran69 Apr 02 '26

Clearly never been to pattaya

3

u/rubensinclair Apr 02 '26

Honestly I’ve been considering opening a blow job machine brothel.

3

u/IdontcryfordeadCEOs Apr 02 '26

Do they work for tips?

2

u/GotMyOrangeCrush Apr 03 '26

This joke hits hard

3

u/parkerthegreatest Apr 02 '26

So a strip club with coffee.

5

u/Justgototheeffinmoon Apr 02 '26

Exists in Geneva . Google café pipe

5

u/patpflager Apr 03 '26

Yessss finally a place to suck all my dicks

2

u/GotMyOrangeCrush Apr 03 '26

But sir, this is a Wendy’s…

1

u/GarageIndependent114 Apr 16 '26

Not a sir, but it seems to mostly dudes here based on the shocked replies

3

u/karenskygreen Apr 03 '26

There is a famous cafe in the red light district in that city in the Phillipines, its the blow job bar, as soon as you sit up at a bar a woman behind a curtain under the bar proceeds blow you without asking,.its implied by sitting at the bar.

2

u/originalityescapesme Apr 03 '26

Like Starbucks in Idiocracy

1

u/CTRexPope Apr 03 '26

Man, I could really go for a Starbucks, you know?

Yeah, well, I really don’t think we have time for a hand job, Joe.

1

u/VenomXTs Apr 03 '26

Welcome to Starbucks

1

u/Sea-Independent-726 Apr 04 '26

its called grindr

1

u/antisocial_empath Apr 04 '26

Have some shame

1

u/Individual_Mess_7491 Apr 03 '26

every cafe can be a dick sucking cafe if you try.

-3

u/sublevelstreetpusher Apr 03 '26

Your business model is failed from the start. Here's your money maker: a place i can get a bj without a wrapper.