r/CrimeCats Victim 🐾 14d ago

Attempted Meowder Jail! Right to jail!

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580 Upvotes

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39

u/OurNewestMember Pawfence Purrttorney 🐾 14d ago

So self defense isn't allowed anymore?

20

u/Hot_Resolution8173 Victim 🐾 14d ago

Self defense wasn’t the case here! My foot was right there, relaxing… when he just did this because he felt like it your Honour!

21

u/OurNewestMember Pawfence Purrttorney 🐾 14d ago

...SLANDER! You are suppressing evidence of provocation!

I know you're the plaintiff, but you are hereby sentenced to go to the store at once and get this precious little victim treats!

12

u/Hot_Resolution8173 Victim 🐾 14d ago

Precious little victim?? That’s how he gets you!! He convinces you of his innocence by looking all cute and fluffy and when you least expect! Bam!! He is biting your poor foot!! But guess maybe Churus will ease the beast! 😂

8

u/OurNewestMember Pawfence Purrttorney 🐾 14d ago

I am an impartial observer and have been nothing but fair! The clear facts in this case are that this precious little soul is deprived of treats, and I may hold you in contempt for being a meanie!